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10 OPINION 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.ttiegatewayonline.ea 


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Not everybody blends in on campus 

“Whatever the environment on campus might have 
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For those of you who Ve been around for a while, you 
might recall that in almost every one of your classes, 
there’s been at least one mature student who doesn’t 
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U ndergrads tend to be thought 
of as a fairly uniform bunch. 
We’re those Whyte Avenue 
Folk-the ones with the money to both 
pay our tuition and buy beer (even if 
it’s only the cheap stuff). 

We’re also pretentious and cocky 
enough to carry on with higher edu¬ 
cation and take all of our alt-culture 
trendiness and pseudo-activism seri¬ 
ously, while all those other folks we 
went to kindergarten with are out 
working for a living. 

The thing is, I happen to know a 
little secret. Whatever the environ¬ 
ment on campus might have you 
believe, we aren’t such a homoge¬ 
nous group. For those of you who’ve 
been around for a while, you might 
recall that in almost every one of 
your classes, there’s been at least one 
mature student who doesn’t look like 
they recently pushed past puberty. You 
also might have noticed those cheerful 
folk requesting transcribers from dis¬ 
ability services. 

Though you may not know it, some 
of your peers have fairly significant 
challenges ahead of them as they 
pursue their degrees (perhaps more 
significant, even, than that hangover 
you’re nursing). And believe it or not, 
not everyone here grew np speaking 
English. Some students are still trying 
to decipher the means of communica¬ 
tion before they can get to competing 
with you on the content. 

Still, has anyone noticed that when a 
professor addresses a class in pleasant 


chit-chat before the lecturing begins, 
they invariably make the assumption 
that the students they are speaking to 
fit that dominant, earlier stereotype? 

And when you examine the postings 
on bulletin boards in the hallways, 
or get stopped by a young blonde 
sporting a white tank-top and handing 
out flyers in HUB, wouldn’t you get 
the impression that all of us are just 
dying to go on a pubcrawl? 

“What’s wrong with that?”, yon 
might ask. After all, it only makes sense 
that a majority becomes the most vis¬ 
ible group. It’s just that at times it can 
be quite alienating for those of us who 
are different—intimidating, even. It 
can be hard to speak up in class or join 
a student group when one is coming 
from a very different perspective than 
the norm. 

Student-led discussions tend to cir¬ 
culate around common themes that 
are highly relevant to their social 
lives, but not so pertinent for the rest 
of us. Also, believe it or not there’s a 
lot of pre-requisite cultural knowledge 
required to break into student groups 
that are often run in a very informal 
way. Being involved often requires 
making buddies with the organizers, 
which is much easier for some than 
others. 

It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of 
homogeny, but you’re not. There are 
quite a few of us trying to navigate our 
way through without being too con¬ 
spicuous. 

As an under grad, a mom with a 


two-year-old, and an executive 
member of a student group, trust 
me—I’ve been there. With a little 
persistence, creative scheduling, and 
stepping more than a little out of your 
comfort zone, a niche can be carved 
out here for any type of student, what¬ 
ever their difference might be. 

So to all those who don’t fit the 
typical binge-drinking, procrastinat¬ 
ing student stereotype; to all the for¬ 
eign students who are encountering 
new social mores; to all the mature 
students who have been through a 
lot of life and have other responsi¬ 
bilities piling up on top of that essay 
that the young ones are begging for 
an extension on because they haven’t 
even started it; to all of the parents, 
whether their children are toddlers 
or teenaged—and to the step-parents 
for that matter; to all of the students 
who are struggling with extra chal¬ 
lenges, whether they are registered 
with disability services or not; to 
the pathologically shy students who 
didn’t come here with a huge contin¬ 
gent of friends from high school, and 
wonder how everyone else seems to 
be navigating it all; to all the students 
who never thought they’d make it 
here, sometimes wonder why they’re 
here, and are not quite sure if they’ll 
make it here—I just thought I’d send 
a shout out to say, contrary to what 
local campus media might lead you 
to believe, you’re not alone. 

From one not-so-typical student to 
another, welcome to University. 


LETTERS ♦ CONTINUED FROM PAGE9 

Apparently the SU office is 
located in opposite-land 

How is it possible that the only service 
that the Students Union provides that 
really benefits all U of A students, which 
is so low in cost per capita, and which is 
used by so many U of A students, will be 
scrapped altogether? 

Why do levenpaytheSUfeesifallthe 
SU isgoingtodo isto make me pay $150 
for a bus pass that I (along with students 
with cars or who live on campus—that's 
a lot of people) have no need for? 

If this keeps up, students will do more 
than be upset—they'll boycott SU, write 
petitions, and the SU will have some 
really bad press on its hands. 

The scat has hit the fan. 

DAN COTFAS 

Science III 


SU shouldn’t be blamed for 
pulling the plug on Bear Scat 

I know by now that most of us here on 
campus have heard the news that Bear 
Scat is no more. When I heard the news, 
like others that I know, I was upset at 
the loss. However, does anybody real¬ 
ize that the wrong people are getting the 
blame? 

In the article "SU says no to Bear Scat" 
(30 August), the SU is getting blamed 
for not coming to the rescue and offer¬ 
ing to fund the web application. Could 
this be because our SU doesn't care for 
students? Or could it more likely be that 
it is not the sole responsibility of the SU to 
fund such programs. 

Now I admit that I use Bear Scat and 
it's a great tool. Nevertheless, what 


needs to remembered is that Bear Scat 
was created to be a more user friendly 
alternative to Bear Tracks, which is a 
University-run application. 

Granted, Bear Scat is by no means 
an official University program, but it 
was created to support one. Therefore, 
shouldn't the University at the very least 
share in the blame, and the burden of 
maintaining it. 

Since the University is not stepping 
forward to share in the blame, almost 
everyone seems fine with blaming the 
SU for not saving Bear Scat, 

The SU is supposed to support student 
academics, and not the short-comings of 
the University run applications. So if Bear 
Scat is no longer deemed necessary, then 
don't blame just the SU. 

The University also shares in the 
responsibility of this issue as well, If 
you want to try and save Bear Scat, 
your best bet would be to petition both 
groups. Who knows, if we all show sup¬ 
port those in charge might change their 
minds. 

COURTNEY BEAMISH 

Civil Engineering IV 


Letters to the editor should be dropped 
off at room 3-04 of the Students' Union 
Building or e-mailed to letters@gate- 
way.ualberta.ca. 

The Gateway reserves the right to edit 
letters for length and clarity, and to refuse 
publication of any letter it deems racist, 
sexist, libellous or otherwise hateful in 
nature. The Gateway also reserves the 
right to publish letters online. 

Letters to the editor should be no longer 
than 350 words, and should include the 
author's name, program, year of study 
and student identification number to be 
considered for publication. 


the BURLAP 

SACK 

President Indira Samarasekera has 
blatantly violated the University 
Calendar. She surprised returning 
orientation volunteers by recycling 
her speech from last year's Week 
of Welcome this past Tuesday at 
Hawrelak Park. 

As she addressed incoming under¬ 
grads, she commented that "University 
will change your life." If memory serves 
me right, the exact same claim was 
made last year. 

Even her crowd-participation cheap 
pop—getting students to raise their 
hands as she categorized them as 
passionate, energetic, daring, cou¬ 
rageous—was command-C'ed and 
command-V'ed from her speech from 
last year. 

I was under the impression that 
reusing or resubmitting material in 
academic pursuits was considered 
plagiarism. If not, why did I write three 
different papers about advancements 
in tank technology during my tenure as 
an undergrad? 

I guess it's now okay for students to 
recycle their B-grade Kafka papers and 
generic biochem labs. 

So into the burlap sack with Indira— 
the exact same one we've been using 
for years on end. 

RYAN HEISE 

The Burlap Sack is a semi-regular 
feature where a person or group who 
needs to be put in a sack and beaten 
is ridiculed in print. No sack beatings 
are actually administered. 











THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


OPINION \\ 



PHOTO ILLUSTRATI0N:KRYSTINASULATYCK1 &LIZ DURDEN 

NOT JUST A STEPPING STONE Despite what other people think, your Arts degree has plenty of merit on its own. 


Arts degrees are so much more 
than just high-priced toilet paper 



JACALYN 

AMBLER 


T he most frightening thing 
about epidemics is that they 
often go under-reported and 
undetected until it is too late to do 
little, if anything, about them. 

One reason why community news¬ 
papers are so important is that they 
help to get the word out on local issues 
such as this. For example, witness 
the Gateways coverage on last year’s 
Norwalk virus. 

However, this time I’m disap¬ 
pointed: I’ve yet to see a shred of 
space in this or any other newspaper 
devoted to the latest outbreaks of an 
illness that, although by no means 
new, has been particularly contagious 
as of late. I’m speaking, of course, of 
the dangerous and unsightly strain 
of “pre-lawitis” currently rampant 
among Arts undergraduates. 

Now, I’ve got absolutely nothing 
against the profession itself. This 
also isn’t an article about how people 
should stop referring to themselves 
with ridiculous titles meant to 
act as indicators of their future, 
as-yet-unrealized success (although it 
could be). 

But I can’t help feeling that the 
number of my fellow Arts students 
who grasp at this particular nomen¬ 
clature have just had a bad experi¬ 
ence. It might have been a distant 
relative (or neighbor, or salesperson) 
who greeted their degree pronounce¬ 
ment with an injurious raised eye¬ 
brow—or, as one of my high school 
friends did, with a guidance coun¬ 
selor who cut off her questions con¬ 
cerning the benefits of philosophy 
with a blunt (though paraphrased), 
“Go into Science. Arts is a terrible 
waste of time.” 

Unnerving as these affronts may be, 
they become more understandable if 
the dominant western worldview is 
given some consideration. 


Distilled, this view is relatively 
simple: progress, of both the ideologi¬ 
cal and tangible varieties, is both good 
and inevitable. Any debate of whether 
or not this is actually true is largely 
ignored (and, somewhat ironically, 
falls largely to various liberal arts aca¬ 
demics to debate endlessly). 

Certainly, most of us, at least 
unconsciously, accept it to be the 
case. And it’s scientific discovery and 
technological innovation that remain 
the twin driving forces behind our 
inevitable advancement. 

Few (with the noted exceptions of 
the late Ned Ludd and his followers) 
would dispute the role of these hard- 
data disciplines in determining the 
essential building blocks of our world. 
However, they’re very different from 
determining the kind of society we 
live in. 


From science, weVe 
learned how to build 
an atomic bomb, but 
not wben and wbere 
we should or shouldn’t 
use it 


There’s nothing inherent in any 
scientific development that acts alone 
to shape our world—science, in fact, 
declares itself void of the morals, 
customs, values and norms that 
act—whether we want them to or 
not, as society’s essential guiding 
forces. From science, weVe learned 
how to build an atomic bomb, but 
not when and where we should or 
shouldn’t use it. 

Science may one day be able to 
teach us how to discriminate between 
embryos based on pre- supposed 
genetic capabilities, but it won’t let 
us know, in a footnote, that there 
may (or may not) be problems with 
doing so; that we may injure our 
society and what we believe it to 
stand for. 

These problems, and issues, have 
nothing to do with science as it’s tra¬ 
ditionally defined. They have to do 


purely with the society that we wish 
to use science to create. 

The social sciences or liberal arts 
are the ones that are most intimately 
and immediately involved in this cre¬ 
ation. Every lens that science is seen 
through, and every value that deter¬ 
mines whether or not we fight for 
certain developments—or think of 
them as abominations—is shaped, 
discussed, torn apart, and reformed 
by political scientists, philosophers, 
psychologists, and their fellows, and 
has been for hundreds of years. 

The complaint of many is that this 
endless discussion has failed to yield 
definitive answers, that issues haven’t 
been resolved, that the “best” lenses 
and values haven’t been identified, and 
that, therefore, no “progress”—in soci¬ 
ety’s preferred sense of the word—has 
been made. 

It seems unexceptional to conclude 
that those questions which are most 
important are the ones that take on 
new meaning and significance as the 
society of which they’re so integral a 
part of grows, evolves, develops, and 
continues, to present new consider¬ 
ations. 

As long as such issues are dis¬ 
cussed, they’ll alter society, but those 
changes will be the very catalyst that 
raises them up for discussion once 
again. 

Answers are, therefore, not the 
focus of an Arts degree, looking for 
them is. It’s not the answers prompted 
by this search, but the discourse it 
provides, that moves certain ideas into 
the forefront of societal consciousness 
while pulling others back. And this 
movement is society’s true propulsive 
force. 

So, fellow Arts students, next time 
someone gives you the all-skeptical 
eyebrow raise, don’t tack on a pre-law 
afterthought, or any other explana¬ 
tion, for your degree. 

Tell them you’re studying the Big 
Questions—or, if you prefer, attest 
to studying chemo-thermal-nuclear- 
radiology, and then stare at them as 
if suffering from an integer-induced 
nervous breakdown until they go 
away. 

But whatever you do, keep talking. 


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thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.theiptewayonline.ca 


|2 Opinion 

The Week of Welcome: fun times or colossal boner? 


OPINION 

STAFF 


Group 
Commentary 

U nless you’re totally oblivious 
to everything around you, 
you’ll no doubt have noticed 
the wide assortment of booths and 
activities that are currently going on 
around campus by now. 

The Week of Welcome is designed 
to expose new students to campus life, 
while welcoming the returning ones 
back to the University at the same 
time. 

Despite all the free candy and 
swag—or the excuse to get drunk on 
campus and show up to class without 
pants—we can’t help but wonder if 
all the brouhaha is actually worth the 
time and energy that’s put into it. 



ing element in my opinion is the clubs 
fair. 

The clubs fair is like the giant room 
of vendors at the Calgary Stampede or 
Capital Ex, but with a slightly smaller 
selection of miracle mops and as-seen- 
on-TV food sheers. 

Even though you know that you 
don’t particularly need or want what 
anyone is offering, it’s still intrigu¬ 
ing to walk around, marvel at the 
sheer volume of groups you can be a 
part of, and pretend that in just sev¬ 
eral months’ time, you will still be a 
dedicated member of the Society for 
Cheese Enthusiasts, the Freddie Prinze 
Jr Appreciation Club, or the Model 
Swedish Parliament. 

Interestingly enough, almost every 
first-year I talked to said they were 
only there “because they had an hour 
to kill,” reaffirming my entrenched 
belief that the clubs fair is the place 
where time goes to die. 

Victor Vargas 


Instead the Student’s Union insists 
that incoming students also want to 
be led around by an insane person 
wearing a tacky, neon-colored 
“Orientation” T-shirt who insists on 
singing annoying songs that are sup¬ 
pose to show school spirit, but which 
really only serve as a mating call for 
other like-minded crazies. 

In addition, these pied-piper wan¬ 
nabes then expect new students to 
follow them for hours and stay through 
spectacular events that include picking 
up generic swag with the SU logo on 
it, chanting “Green and Gold,” and lis¬ 
tening to campus leaders make speech 
after boring, recycled speech. 

It’s like all the sane students are the 
ones who decide to skip the whole 
debacle and go get their One Cards in 
30 minutes flat so they can go home 
and play BioShock. Whereas the future 
SU executives seem to be the only ones 
that actually enjoy the whole monstros¬ 
ity and believe it’s worth the massive 
price tag. 


Jonn Kmech 

To me, orientation week has always 
seemed like some kind of grotesque, 
David Lynch-directed music video for 
R.E.M.’s Shiny Happy People. Everyone 
has their happy face on, campus is 
bustling, and the first-year girls are 
dressed like those expressionless man¬ 
nequins in the storefront of a designer 
clothes outlet. 

This is all a very clever facade that 
masks the midnight train of cold 
reality that rolls around by the end 
of September, when stock prices for 
sweaters and pajama pants go through 
the roof. But out of this nightmarish 
carnival of faculty cheers and fair- 
weather school spirit, the most amus¬ 


Orientation is supposed to be a big 
welcome to new students, but every 
year it comes off as a giant, candy- 
coated “fuck you.” Rather than give 
incoming students what they want, 
the Students’ Union, against all logic 
and reason, continues to create an 
event that resembles Charlie and the 
Chocolate Factory, when it should 
resemble a short trip to a postsecond¬ 
ary establishment. 

What new students want is to get 
their One Card, find their classes, 
find the location of their relevant labs 
and libraries, receive some pieces of 
wisdom about campus life, and then 
be directed towards the closest bar. It’s 
inexpensive, sensible, and would only 
take an hour of their lives. 


Maria Kotovych 

Clearly the best thing about Week of 
Welcome is the sheer number of bar¬ 
becues that student organizations hold 
in Quad. 

I can turn into the biggest supporter 
of any club or student group that can 
provide me with a tasty burger for just 
two bucks. Having BBQ for lunch is 
awesome—plus it’s cheaper and tastier 
than most other options on campus, 
and I get to support different student 
organizations on this campus. 

I also love that these barbecues con¬ 
tinue in Quad long after the rest of the 
first week’s hoopla has ended. While 
most of the Week of Welcome activi¬ 
ties will die down by Friday, barbecues 


will often keep springing up in the 
subsequent weeks, allowing students 
to enjoy a decent and cheap lunch here 
on campus for once. 

The thing that I like the best about 
these barbecues is that they’re quiet, 
unobtrusive, and considerably less 
obnoxious than the deafeningly loud 
beer gardens that usually overtake 
Quad—not unlike a bad bout of gan¬ 
grene affecting an innocent limb. 

After all, a barbecue only takes a 
small amount of space, makes very 
little noise, and has no bearing on 
passerby who have no interest in par¬ 
ticipating. 

Any student clubs interested in doing 
a bit of BBQ-style fund-raising during 
Week of Welcome (and beyond) are 
sure to have my support. 

ConalPierse 

Week of Welcome is by far the biggest 
clusterfuck many of you are likely to 
ever encounter. Everybody’s all shits 
and giggles, asking “what did you do 
over the summer.” Unfortunately, the 
answer is never, “I remembered not to 
stop in the middle of a crowded hall¬ 
way to fucking chitchat.” 

It’s bad enough that almost every¬ 
one woke up late, meaning the roads 
are congested as hell, but what’s worse 
is getting to campus and finding that 
it’s practically a mosh pit. 

Even if you somehow manage 
to find a way to beat the crowds— 
either by taking clever detours or 
simply relying on the tried-and-tested 
method of pushing people out of the 
way—there’s still no escaping the sea 
of lies. 

Whether it’s orientation leaders pre¬ 
tending school is nothing but cheers 
and beers or an English professor tell¬ 


ing you that you’ve got a promising 
future in anything but retail, nobody 
wants to peel away that shiny foil to 
reveal the cold, week-old chicken 
inside. 

The fact is, that drunken guy fight¬ 
ing to maintain his balance in the 
beer gardens is, despite his claims, 
most likely not a medical student; a ski 
club card will not get you all the 
fly ladies; and despite appearances, 
that’s not actually beef in your RATT 
burger. 

You might think that I’m just being 
jaded and cynical, but when that two- 
week-long “start of school” bender 
ends and suddenly everything you eat 
seems to taste slightly of stale vomit, 
you’ll get the vinegar in you too 
(unless you’re snorting Unicorn horn, 
that is). 

Paul Blinov 

I’m one of those students that the SU 
surely hates: my apathy greatly out¬ 
weighs my interest, even when it 
comes to Week of Welcome’s celebra¬ 
tions. I skimmed the poster only to see 
if any bands that I know were playing, 
then put my eyes back down and kept 
walking. 

Don’t get me wrong; there’s an unde¬ 
niable atmosphere of excitement bub¬ 
bling around campus these first few 
weeks, and that’s absolutely great and 
justified. However, that doesn’t mean 
I want to hear someone chant science- 
pants in French, or shout about how 
my Arts degree will net me that sweet- 
ass fry-cook job. 

After two years, the whole thing 
feels a little forced, a little too over-the 
top and, generally just a little too much. 
Fuck off, and let me do my learning in 
peace. 





m 




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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ADVERTISEMENT 13 






















































14 FEATURE 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.ttiegatewayonline.ea 


rmhistory ofthe Powerplant 
















ic$ 




■ 




V\ ,t# 


Written by Ryan Heise 
Photo by Mike Otto 



1 

The generators can each produce 100 
kilowatts and turn at a rate of 518rpm, 
making them some of the most powerful 
in western Canada. 


e bars exclusivity makes it a hot-spot 
for all students—if an undergraduate 
actually makes it in, such a feat is lauded 
by his or her peers. 





































































FEATURE 15 


THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


2 (102 


rplant loses $8612 at the end of 
its fiscal year, marking the beginning of a 
series of increasingly crippling losses for 
the SU. 


20f 

After accumulating huge losses 
the year, the Executive shutters 
doors to rethink its structure. 


throughout 
the ‘Plant’s 



















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entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca ♦ thursday, 6 September, 2007 


SOCIAL 

INTERCOURSE 



Hipsters: don’t call Art Brut ‘indie’’ 

The English rockers talk about Top of the Pops, their own messy beginning, and Wesley Snipes’ early days 


Interview 

Opens Friday ,; 7 September 
Princess Theatre 
Starring Steve Buscemi 

One interview that would be fun to conduct is with 
one of the guys that writes movie press releases. 
They're fantastic at making even the most mundane 
of ideas seem exciting. Not that Interview initially 
sounds boring, but when it's described as "a passion¬ 
ate verbal chess game spiked with wit, intrigue and 
sexual tension, capped with a riveting twist ending," 
you can't help but feel enthralled. 

Steve Buscemi directs and stars in the film as a 
past-his-prime war reporter who falls for the pop 
diva / movie star that he interviews. Perhaps not 
quite a captivating, sexually charged game of logic, 
but anything with Steve Buscemi gets a free pass 
into the good books. 

An Evening with Rick Mercer 

Sunday ; 9 September at 7pm 
Winspeare Centre (9720102 Avenue) 
Tickets $55 or $65 

Everybody's favorite Canadian satirist and proponent 
of reducing your carbon emissions is in Edmonton 
this weekend at the Winspear Center. Performing on 
behalf of the Northern Alberta Amputee Program, 
Mercer takes a break from lampooning Canadian 
politicians as a camera follows him through a Toronto 
back alley to do some stand-up work in E-town. The 
event also features the Wajjo Drummers and a spe¬ 
cial book signing by Master Corporal Paul Franklin, 
whose new book, The Long Way Home, details his 
experiences of getting home after losing both of his 
legs as a soldier in Afghanistan. 

Wendy McNeil 

Tuesday ; 11 September at 8pm 
Victory Lounge 
Tickets at Ticketmaster 

Accordion has never sounded this sexy. Singing 
with a voice akin to Ani DiFranco's, Edmonton's 
Wendy McNeil rips it up on her squeezebox, cre¬ 
ating, along with the rest of her band, a strangely 
enticing sound that's one part haunted carnival, 
one part bar mitzvah. It's as if Lilith Fair was being 
held at an Eastern European circus, and it's one of 
the coolest and most original acts I've heard in a 
while. 

In The Gathering Light 

Works by Michelle Lavoie 
SNAP gallery 

On Display Until 29 September 
Free Admission 

Though already on display for a month, there's still 
plenty of time for art fans just arriving back from 
summer to check out Michelle Lavoie's gallery run¬ 
ning at SNAP. Produced using a combination of 
digital composition and collagraph, Lavoie has cre¬ 
ated some breathtaking abstract images. She was 
inspired to use digital imagery to discuss technol¬ 
ogy's impact on us, or as she puts it, "to talk about 
how technology acts a filter for our perceptions." 

Searching For Balance 

Works by Leszek Wyczolkowski 
SNAP gallery 

On Display 6 September to 13 October 
Free admission 

The second gallery opening at SNAP features the 
prints of Leszek Wyczolkowski, which draw from 
all things natural, from the earthy to the heavenly. 
Wyczolkowski will also be in attendance at the 
opening reception, so you can pop in and meet the 
man behind the art, 

JONN KMECH 
SI champ, two years running 


musicpreview 

Art Brut 

with the Mark Birties Project 
Thursday, 6 September at 8pm 
Starlite Room 

PAUL BLINOV 

Arts & Entertainment Editor 


These days, adding the prefix “indie” to the 
description of any band will probably turn 
away about the same number of people who 
will blindly come running. Rarely used to 
discriminate between independent artists 
and those on major labels, the term’s origi¬ 
nal intent, is lost—it now broadly umbrel¬ 
las over the heads of any bands currently 
buzzing around the blogosphere. 

Art Brut fall into this category. The 
English band is signed to a divison of 
major label EMI and play straight-shooter, 
guitar-powered rock & roll. Yet somehow, 
they still find themselves dubbed as an 
indie group. 

Well, hipsters be damned. The first words 
out of guitarist Ian Catskilkin’s mouth are 
about one of the most popular mainstream 
acts in history. 

“I was just watching Michael Jackson’s 
‘Bad’ video on VH1,” he begins, imme¬ 
diately after picking up the phone. “The 
guy in the opposite gang looks like Wesley 
Snipes!” 

He’s correct—and that plucky, conver¬ 
sational attitude is a constant throughout 
the interview. So is the theme of television: 
three of Art Brut’s songs mention British 
music show Top of the Pops, usually in the 


context of, well, them being on top of it. 
Unfortunately, TOTP shut down last year 
before Art Brut could come a-conquering. 

“It was a shame, really,” Catskilkin laments. 
“The Top of the Pops used to be the institu¬ 
tion; it used to be relevant ..., As a child I 
would take a tape cassette recorder and put it 
by the television to tape all of the new songs. 
That was your opening to the rest of the 
world, and music, really.” 


“The Top of the Pops usd to be 
the institution; it used to be 
relevant... As a child, I would 
take a tape cassette recorder 
and put it by the television to 
tape all of the new songs. That 
was your opening to the rest of 
the world, and music, really.” 

IAN CATSKILKIN 


In those early days, Catskilkin must have 
taped a lot of Sex Pistols because Art Brut’s 
songs are dripping with snotty punk ethics. 
Fuelled by his own guitar licks and vocalist 
Eddy Argos’ spoken-word delivery, the five- 
piece group, also including second guitarist 
Jasper Future, bassist Freddy Feedback, and 
drummer Mikey Breyer, write unapologetic 
rock tunes. 

“[We didn’t] have preconceived plans or 
ideas,” Catskilkin says, of Art Brut’s early 
days. “We were all into different stuff when 
we got together, and I think that’s a good 


thing. At first it was just a mess, and then we 
started to be able to write songs.” 

Those first songs were enough to cause quite 
a response in the band’s homebase of England, 
with their self-released Brutlegs EP quickly 
generating a record deal. 

Typical Art Brut subject matter includes form¬ 
ing a band, getting a brand new girlfriend—in¬ 
cluding the winning lyric “I’ve seen her naked! 
Twice!”—and having a really bad weekend. 
More musically powerful than pretentious, 
Catskilkin isn’t the slightest bit self-conscious 
about leaning more towards the Brut part of the 
band name. 

“It’s just what we do,” he states noncha¬ 
lantly. “That’s kind of where we’re from, in 
regards to the music. [Breyer]’s a rock drum¬ 
mer; I’m a rock guitarist, and that kind of 
makes [rock] the backbone of the style of 
music. We kinda just do as we do, and [the 
music] comes out as it comes out. I prefer 
rock in a broader sense of the term than indie 
stuff.” 

The “indie stuff” includes using more 
orchestra-like instruments in the place of 
the more traditional guitar-drum-bass- 
vocals combo. But with this emphasis on 
rock, it’s doubtful that you’ll see Art Brut 
making room for a hurdy-gurdy player any¬ 
time soon. At the very least, it would cost 
too much. 

“At the end of the day, it would be like 
paying another instrument to be there,” 
Catskilkin laughs. “We’ve considered it; 
we tried stuff while we were making our 
last album, like, ‘Oh, maybe we should try 
this on piano.’ We have some horn section 
in there, but you can’t over-do what we do, 
because it would sound stupid. It just works 
as it is.” 

































18 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT _ thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.thegatewayonline.ca 

The Internet is mining your future arts career 



Without a doubt, one of the Internet’s 
greatest achievements—aside from 
porn—is the mass proliferation of 
art. With a couple of clicks and a 
Google image search, you can access 
the sum total of all human artistic 
creation, from classics like the Mona 
Lisa to recreations of ancient Mongol 
chanting. And if you like your art 
fresh, then the Internet is the place 
to find the latest and best that cul¬ 
ture has to offer you. 

The only problem is that, now, it’s 
nearly impossible for artists to make 
a living from it. 

It’s the reality of supply and 
demand: when supply is high, prices 
go down. Right now, it seems every¬ 
one with a web camera is putting 


something up on YouTube, anyone 
that can draw is making a comic, 
and people with even vague writing 
abilities are pumping out blogs like 
copulating rabbits. 

Since posting things on the 
Internet is so cheap, and since pro¬ 
grams like Photoshop make pro¬ 
ducing art so easy, anyone with a 
computer and some technical know¬ 
how can create impressive portfolio 
pieces without going into debt with 
student loans. And with so much 
out there, prices are going to remain 
near zero. 

Lots of people thought—and still 
think—that the answer is advertis¬ 
ing. A few 20-second product place¬ 
ments allow people to enjoy free 
programs and music on both the 
radio and television. Plus, advertis¬ 
ers even seem to be willing to buy 
ads on the wall space above urinals. 
But the very nature of the Internet is 
hostile to advertisers. 

Cyberspace’s anonymity, and the 
ability for its users to indefinitely cus¬ 
tomize their websites, utterly kills the 


potential for advertising. Businesses 
want to know demographic and sta¬ 
tistical information about a website 
before they’ll begin to advertise on 
it—information that’s impossible 
to gather accurately when it’s status 
quo to lie and hide everything about 
yourself. The easy answer seemed to 
be to the pay-per-click system, where 
a website earns cash based on how 
many people click on the banner, but 
that’s turned out to be ineffective. It’s 
too easy to cheat to make it an effec¬ 
tive method of advertising for a com¬ 
pany. 

At the same time, stealing and 
piracy is an overstated problem. 
Programs like iTunes have shown 
that people are still willing to pay 
for Internet goods, even if they 
don’t have to. Meanwhile, the legal 
Jaws of Life are quickly closing in 
on seemingly legitimate services 
like YouTube and various Google 
programs, and eventually any intel¬ 
lectual property theft there will be 
stemmed. 

As for less legitimate sources, 


most people don’t like download¬ 
ing some sketchy program so they 
can watch low-quality rips of their 
favorite movies, and they definitely 
don’t like talking to some liber- 
nerd from the basement of damna¬ 
tion to get their art fix either. 


If this trend continues, 
the option of being a 
professional artist will 
finally die. Art will be 
relegated to a hobby 
done by enthusiasts 
and as a labour of love, 
rather than a feasible 
career choice. 


Credit cards are the Internet’s cur¬ 
rency of choice, but customers are 
still cautious of using them because 
of the fear of a hacker stealing it. 
And if you’re a business, using credit 


cards are a huge hassle because you 
have to constantly spend money to 
keep your security is up to date. Pay 
Pal seemed to be the answer for a 
while, but thanks to their notori¬ 
ously customer service, consumers 
and businesses alike have grown 
weary of it. 

Some entrepreneurial artists have 
managed to find innovative ways 
of using the Internet to advertise 
their other activities. The web 
comic Penny Arcade, for example, 
has created an entire expo, PAX, 
as well as a line of merchandise, 
to support themselves. But sadly, 
efforts like this are few and far 
between. 

If this trend continues, the option 
of being a professional artist will 
finally die. Art will be relegated to a 
hobby done by enthusiasts and as a 
labour of love, rather then a feasible 
career choice. The Arts chant, about 
wanting fries with your degree— 
heard around campus as a self-de¬ 
feating joke—could turn out to be 
painfully true. 




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©2007 Lenovo. All rights reserved. Visit www.lenovo.com/safecomputing periodically for the latest information on safe and effective computing. 


Fact: 

Arts & Entertainment 
Editor Paul Blinov can get 
a perfect score playing 
"Ziggy Stardust" on 
expert in Guitar Hero. 

Counter- 

Fact: 

If you come up to the 
Gateway office on any 
given Thursday at 5pm, 
take an assignment and 
complete it, you can call 
his bluff and make him 
prove it in front of an 
audience of the other 
editors and his friends. 
That is a promise. 


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Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor 1 T7100 (1800 MHz) 
Intel® PRO/Wireless 2 3945ABG 
Genuine Windows Vista® Business 3 
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120 GB HDD, 5400 rpm 5 
DVD Recordable (Dual Layer) 24X Max 
Intel® Graphics Media Accelerator X3100 
6-celI Li-ion Battery 
15.4" WXGATFT 1280x800 
One year parts and labor 
(system battery: one year) 

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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 19 



Party monsters leave a footprint 


musicpreview 

Dietzche V and the 
Abominable Snowman CD 
Release Party 

With Shout Out Out Out Out DJ set, 
Roland Pemberton III and the Hues 

Friday ; 7 September at 8pm 
Starlite Room 

PAUL BLINOV 

Arts & Entertainment Editor 


Just as you might expect from a 
mysteriously named figure and a 
legendary, elusive beast, Dietzche 
V and the Abominable Snowman 
enjoy camping out in the wilder¬ 
ness of Edmonton’s dance music 
scene. They pop up for the occa¬ 
sional show or to release a single 
stirring up the masses—only to 
sneak back into the darkness, leav¬ 
ing audiences to wonder if they still 
exist in between shows. 

Now, after so much under- 
the-radar activity, the techno act 
is finally releasing a full-length 
album, Macho 2003—2007, as if to 
herald their continued existence 
to the world. Like their album title 
suggests, they aren’t afraid to make 


boastful statements about them¬ 
selves and their music. 

“This band has always been about 
keeping it so real that no one’s ever 
heard our music, so we picked the 
name to be impossible to remem¬ 
ber,” The Snowman states. “So far, 
it’s worked.” 

The tough-guy attitude suggests 
that ego might be the root of so 
much down time between shows, 
but it’s actually a problem of dis¬ 
tance—the Snowman no longer 
resides in the Edmonton. He moved 
to Toronto a few years back, and 
although the band resumes when¬ 
ever he visits, that doesn’t happen 
particularly often. 

“I’m back in Edmonton probably 
once every two or three months. 
That allows Dietzche and me to 
get close again, musically, although 
what I don’t tell him is that I have 
a musical partner in every city in 
Canada,” The Snowman jokes. “I just 
want to make sure I don’t give him a 
computer virus when we’re working 
on electronic tracks.” 

“I think [distance] keeps things 
fresh,” Dietzche adds. “I don’t think 
we’ve ever had a point where [our 
music has] gotten stagnant. It seems 
like as soon as that point happens, 


things settle down for a while, 
and The Snowman’s gone back [to 
Toronto].” 

Macho 2003—2007 collects select 
tracks from within that timeline, pre¬ 
senting a record of Dietzche and the 
Snowman’s musical progress to date. 
Even if they vanish into the back¬ 
ground once more, audiences have 
a snapshot of where they were, here 
and now. Clearly proud of their work, 
the duo see Macho 2003—2007 as the 
favourite lovechild of their collabora¬ 
tive years, as spaced out as those song¬ 
writing sessions may have been. 

“It’s a greatest hits package,” Dietzche 
explains. “We were going to call it a 
greatest hits package, but we didn’t 
know how that would go over for a 
band that no one had ever heard of. 
I mean we’re pretty conceited peo¬ 
ple—we’re pretty overconfident and 
arrogant—but we didn’t want to turn 
anybody off by calling it greatest hits.” 

Not that the duo seem worried about 
naysayers. They’ve proven them wrong 
before, burning only brighter and, 
despite distance, not fading away. 

“There’s a lot of haters out there, and 
there’s a lot of people who said this 
band wouldn’t last,” The Snowman 
says. “They were wrong, and we were 
right.” 



albumreview 

Dietzche V and the 

Abominable Snowman 

Macho 2003-2007 
Pop Echo 


PAUL BLINOV 

Arts & Entertainment Editor 


It’s difficult to review a dance album 
in the stationary, stale atmosphere 
of a seat or desk; you have to at 
least imagine it being dropped in 
the middle of a pulsating, breathing 
dance floor and think about how the 
assembled tangle of bodies would 
react from track to track. Fortunately 
for Dietzche V and the Abominable 
Snowman, Macho 2003—2007’s ’80s- 
laced, synth-propelled songs are 


exactly what a DJ spins to set a party 
on fire. 

The Purple Rain-era Prince influ¬ 
ence is notable: come-hither syn¬ 
thesizers slither between sweaty 
beats while vocoder-kissed, some- 
times-there vocals suggest escort¬ 
ing tonight’s special someone from 
dance floor to your bedroom. Make 
no mistake: with lyrics like “This 
sex addiction in my mind 7 It’s caus¬ 


ing me to fall behind / Why don’t 
we head back to your place / So we 
can self-medicate,” it’s pretty obvi¬ 
ous that this album’s got copulation 
on the brain. 

The slower half-way marker 
“Eternity (Beyond Forever)” offers a 
moment of rest from Macho’s contin¬ 
uous bump and grind before listeners 
plunge into the album’s second half. It 
holds up almost as well as the first, but 
by the time “Sexual Variations” slinks 
along, Dietzche and the Snowman 
seem like they’re out of new tricks to 
turn you on. As a result, Macho feels a 
little tired in its final moments. 

If heard through your headphones, 
Macho 2003-2007 is a solid dance 
album that wears itself out by the 
end. On the dance floor, however, 
this is the thumping soundtrack to a 
night ending in sexy results. 


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volume XCVIII number 2 ♦ the official student newspaper at the university of alberta ♦ www.thegatewayonline.ca ♦ thursday, 6 September, 2007 



ZHENDONGLI 

FRESH FISH! First-year students, Orientation volunteers, and members of the Students' Union gather Tuesday evening at Hawrelak Park to listen to the President's address. Full coverage on page 4. 


Housing woes affect 
aboriginal students 


NATALIE CLIMENHAGA 

Senior News Editor 

Alberta’s housing crunch has been well 
publicized, but for aboriginal students 
hoping to pursue postsecondary studies 
in the province, the challenge of finding 
an affordable place to live is in no way 
old news. 

Last month, attempts to improve 
the housing situation were signified 
when Strathcona MLA Rob Loughheed 
presented a $550 000 cheque to the 
University of Alberta’s Aboriginal 
Student Services Centre for the refur¬ 
bishment of residences allocated spe¬ 
cifically for aboriginal students. 

“There are a lot of barriers for aborig¬ 
inal students who come to school. I 
think there should be some incentive to 
keep aboriginal students on campus,” 
Aboriginal Student Council (ASC) 
President Derek Thunder said of the 
need for aboriginal-specific housing. 

The funding went towards the refur¬ 
bishment of the Belcourt-Brosseau 
House (B&B House), a six-person unit 
that opened in 1999 as a Metis house 
but which has since become equally 
accessible to First Nations students. In 
addition, the $550 000 fuelled reno¬ 
vations at a four-person house in East 
Campus Village, as well as to two row 
houses in the Michener Park Complex. 
These two residences, which were 
previously open to all U of A students, 
will be now reserved for aboriginal 


students only. 

“We could probably do about 30 
times that, if not more,” Aboriginal 
Student Services coordinator Melissa 
Gillis said of the number of housing 
spaces now set aside for aboriginal 
students. 

“There are a lot of 
barriers for aboriginal 
students who come 
to school. I think 
there should be some 
incentive to keep 
aboriginal students on 
campus.” 

DEREKTHUNDER 

ASC PRESIDENT 

But Loughheed said that the money 
was only a small part of $250 million 
coming from the federal government 
over three years time for aboriginal 
housing initiatives across the coun¬ 
try. He explained that the renovations 
were only a small component of proj¬ 
ect the aboriginal housing money will 
be funding. 

He added that as more of the fund¬ 
ing becomes available, the possibility 
to build new units for aboriginal stu¬ 
dents may open up. 

PLEASE SEE HOUSING ♦ PAGE 5 


PSE aid misses the mark—report 


NATALIE CLIMENHAGA 

Senior News Editor 

Tuition freezes and tax credits aren’t to 
be praised, according to a new study by 
the Educational Policy Institute (EPI). 

The study, entitled “The End of 
Need-Based Student Financial Aid in 
Canada,” takes aim at a general trend 
away from need-based aid funding 
in favour of universal programs. The 
report shows that based on funding 
patterns across Canada over the past 
15 years, less and less money is going 
to students in dire need of financial 
assistance. 

“EPI, they’ve kind of painted the 
picture that everybody knew was 
happening, but they didn’t really 
acknowledge the investment that 
our government has made into the 
loan program, and there has been 
some investment there,” University 
of Alberta Students’ Union Vice- 
President (External) Steven Dollansky 
said. 

The study points to the fact that, 
in Alberta, the past four years in par¬ 
ticular have been marked by numer¬ 
ous tuition and student aid programs. 
The study calculates that although a 
two-year tuition freeze, reforms to 
provincial student loans, tax credits, 
and other initiatives have been hailed 
as important steps towards addressing 
student concerns in the province, they 
have also prioritized non-need-based 
assistance. 

The study states that over the last 
four years, the Government of Alberta 


has spent roughly $183 million on 
access-related policies. It calculated 
that only 21 per cent of all new assis¬ 
tance was need-based, while the 
remaining 79 per cent was non-need- 
based assistance. 

“In Alberta it s common 
knowledge that 
universal aid has far 
outpaced need-based 
aid.” 

STEVEN DOLLANSKY 

SU VP (EXTERNAL) 

U of A Provost and Vice-President 
(Academic) Carl Amrhein compared 
the phenomenon of universal aid to 
a situation wherein every student 
receives $100 relief on tuition. In 
such a scenario, whether that funding 
means anything to them or not will 
depend on their ability to pay tuition 
in the first place. On the other hand, 
the same amount of funding could be 
put towards giving $500 only to stu¬ 
dents who can demonstrate financial 
need. 

“I think the big question for me is 
not so much the amount of money that 
is advertised in the University’s calen¬ 
dar, but actually how much money a 
student has to pay versus their ability 
to pay,” Amrhein said. 

Dollansky also noted that one of 
the largest contributors to need- 


based aid in Canada, the Millennium 
Scholarship, will run out at the end 
of next year. The fund contributes 
approximately $9 million every year 
to U of A students. 

Maurice Tougas, Alberta Liberal 
Shadow Minister for Postsecondary 
Education, said via email that so far 
he is unaware of any plans from the 
provincial government to replace the 
Millennium Scholarship’s funding if it 
is allowed to run out. 

“[W]e’ve heard concerns from stu¬ 
dent groups that there was, and is, no 
real plan for dealing with this shortfall 
in funding—and more specifically, 
targeted funding,” Tougas wrote. 

Dollansky said he hopes the fund¬ 
ing won’t falter at the federal level, and 
that the provincial government won’t 
have to step in to replace it. He added 
that ideally, more would be done to 
streamline postsecondary funding 
policies between federal and provin¬ 
cial levels. 

“In Alberta it’s common knowledge 
that universal aid has far outpaced 
need-based aid, and it’s something 
that we advocate for because often 
it’s those groups that slip through the 
cracks,” Dollansky said. 

Student Financial Aid Information 
Centre (SFAIC) centre director Jane 
Lee works with students to help guide 
them through the student loan sys¬ 
tems from application to repayment, 
and she said EPI’s report shows how 
complex student financial aid is in 
Canada. 

PLEASESEE EPI REPORT ♦ PAGE3 


Inside 


News 

1-6 

News Feature 

7 

Opinion 

9-12 

Feature 

14-15 

A&E 

17-23 

Sports 

24-30 

Comics 

30 



Political who’s who 

From Legislative Losers to Governance 
Greenhorns, we’ll show you the 
strange, sexy world of U of A politics. 

NEWS FEATURE, PAGE 7 



’Plant retrospective 

Ryan Heise looks at the triumphs and 
turmoil that peppers the Powerplant s 
88-year existence. 

FEATURE, PAGE 14-15 






















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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 21 


Zombie gives horror fans a treat with realistic Halloween 

Despite the presence of a few tricky horror movie cliches, the reimagined story of Michael Myers first killing spree is chilling 



filmreview 

Halloween 

Now Playing 
Written and Directed 
by Rob Zombie 

Starring Daeg Raerch and Tyler Mane 

VICTOR VARGAS 
Online Coordinator 

Rob Zombie is an insane genius. Only 
a madman would dare remake John 
Carpenters classic Halloween , restrain 
the amount of gore and deaths, make 
it realistic instead of exaggerated, cast 
complete unknowns in leading roles, 
release it on 31 August, and expect it to 
be a financial success. 

With so little marketing potential, 
the movie could only hope to make 
money if it was so creepy, horriffic, and 
fantastic that it didn’t need any adver¬ 
tising to begin with. Against all odds, 
Rob Zombie took the simple story—a 
young boy named Michael Myers (Daeg 
Faerch) kills people, then grows up 
into an adult (Tyler Mane) that does the 
same—and created one of the greatest 
horror movies of the decade. 

Zombie’s decision to utilize less gore 
and go for a very realistic horror film was 
completely justified. While that choice 
made the death scenes less spectacu¬ 
lar than those found in the Saw series, 
they leave a much deeper psychological 
impact. One victim is beaten to death 
over a five minute period, and while that 
time isn’t particularly gory, the screams 
of the soon-to-be-deceased and Myers’ 
dead, expressionless face will make even 
veterans of horror films cringe. 




tliRnk you 

Barbecue! 


To thank University of Alberta students, 
faculty and staff for their support, 
Coca-Cola invites you to a Barbecue ! 


* while quantities last 



li 


fol V :0 ° ** % 

Wednesday, September 12 






please trine? a 

for ^ 

FoocJ Bank 


ever wonder why only Coca-Cola on campus? 

Coca-Cola has been the exclusive cold beverage supplier on campus for 
just over nine years. Through this joint agreement between the University, 
your Students' Union and Coca-Cola, over $4 million has been 
generated and given back to the U of A campus! 

how do these funds reach students? 

• funding bursaries and scholarships 

• supporting Graduate Studies' special initiatives 

• sponsoring events such as Week of Welcome, United Way 
Sub Day and the Turkey Trot 

• supporting athletics and sport camps 

So, the next time you reach for your Coca-Cola, enjoy it 
knowing you are supporting these great programs on campus 


88 



. .. 


b 


UNIVERSITY OE AEBERTA 



UNIVERSITY OF 

ALBERTA 



Zombie’s recreation of Michael Myers 
was another risky decision that ended 
up paying out in big scares. He spent 
a lot of time rewriting Myers to fit the 
profile of real-life psycho killers in an 
attempt to make the character seem 
real—and he pulled it off. The movie’s 
star has lost the supernatural powers he 
enjoyed in other Halloween movies, but 
he’s become more believable—and infi¬ 
nitely more terrifying—because of it. 


One victim is beaten 
to death over a five 
minute period, and 
while that time isn’t 
particularly gory, the 
screams of the soon- 
to-be-deceased and 
Myers’ dead, expres¬ 
sionless face will make 
even veterans of horror 
films cringe. 

The adult Myers is much larger than 
any of his other incarnations, making his 
overpowering physical feats seem plausi¬ 
ble. In contrast, the young Myers doesn’t 
look like a threat, but Faerch’s excellent 
performance prevents him from coming 
off as silly, and thereforemanages to be 
more horrifying than his adult counter¬ 
part. All of these factors transform Myers 
from just another slasher villain into a 
real and tangible threat. 

But Zombie’s masterstroke is the way 
he instills terror while keeping an air of 


realism. Most of the cliches of horror 
victims running into a graveyard or 
trapping themselves on the second 
floor of their homes are absent. In this 
film, the characters make decisions real 
human beings would make if placed in 
their situation. People actually run to 
the bathroom and lock the door; if they 
have a weapon they try and use it on 
Myers—and they even phone 911. 

However, Zombie shows how little 
these things matter when a killer like 
Myers is on the prowl. That lock on the 
bathroom and the front door will break 
with enough pressure. If you have a 
huge knife and fight an unarmed Myers, 
you’re not necessarily going to win 
when he’s twice your size. Guns aren’t 
that useful when you have no training, 
are panicking, and have mere seconds 
before he gets to you. A police response 
time of five minutes might seem fast, 
but it might as well be a lifetime when 
a psychopath is hunting you. The point 
Zombie makes is that your survival 
is based on luck more than on what 
actions you take. 

Still, even this horror movie suffers 
from some problems. Zombie couldn’t 
resist leaving in a few horror movie 
trademarks—bloodied naked women 
running for their life, a seemingly bullet¬ 
proof killer, and a host of plot holes— 
that regrettably all serve to detract from 
the realism he set out. 

The last half of the movie felt rushed, 
ironically, because the first part was 
so brilliantly done. In remaking 
Halloween, Zombie should have taken 
one more risk: dropping all cliches and 
extending the movie by half an hour 
so that he could take it from brilliant to 
perfection. 


Go to the top 




Attend a scholarship workshop for 
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*9:00-11:00 - graduate scholarship session 

*11:00-12:00 - postdoctoral fellowship session (nserc & sshrc) 

-Sponsored by the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research 














22 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 


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gamereview 

BioShock 

2k Games 
Available now 

RENATO PAGNANI 

Arts & Entertainment Staff 

After so much hype and drippingly 
sweet reviews, someone needs to say 
it: BioShock is not the best game ever. 
That said, it’s a pretty damn great one, 
albeit without major innovations. 

This review could regurgitate all the 
inordinate praise that has been heaped 
upon the new Xbox 360 and PC title, 
but that would be redundant. If you 
haven’t already bought the game, you’re 
probably planning to once you’ve fin¬ 
ished the slew of titles you didn’t com¬ 
plete during the past four months of 
academic liberation. If you somehow 
aren’t interested in BioShock, you’re 
probably waiting for Halo 3. In that 
case, you probably don’t care about epic 
single-player games that make a legiti¬ 
mate case for games being art. 

Set in 1958 in an twisted underwa¬ 
ter paradise called Rapture, BioShock 
puts you in the shoes of a nameless 
protagonist whose plane crashes 


in the middle of the ocean, with 
Rapture being the only refuge within 
a thousand miles. Through the game’s 
20-some hour campaign, you’ll come 
across numerous memorable char¬ 
acters good, bad, and somewhere in 
between—in the process of solving 
the mystery of Rapture: what went 
wrong? 

Where BioShock excels is in evok¬ 
ing emotions that few other games 
are able to hint at. While it doesn’t tra¬ 
verse the postmodern political heights 
of Metal Gear Solid 2, BioShock is a 
steady game with a steady story, that, 
while smattered with twists and turns 
for gamers to manoeuver themselves 
around, doesn’t pull too many gra¬ 
tuitous hairpins just for the sake of 
another plot twist. 

The story tugs at heartstrings usu¬ 
ally reserved for sappy chick flicks and 
miracle touchdown throws: watching 
a Big Daddy—the game’s iconic and 
intimidating foe—knock futilely on 
walls in hopes of coaxing a Little Sister 
out of a drainpipe is heart-breaking. 
A tale of twisted ideals and utopian 
misdirection, BioShock asks some 
compelling questions about human 
nature, and some pretty relevant ones 
at that, alluding to modern-day issues 
such as stem-cell research. 


But games are about one thing first 
and foremost—how they play—and 
the developers are well aware of this. 
BioShock is a technically a first person 
shooter, but it’s just as much an adven¬ 
ture game and an RPG as a Doom-style 
shoot-’em-up. 

It also just happens to be really, 
really good at being all three. The 
enemy AI is balanced to perfection; 
the weapons are of the run-of-the-mill 
variety but still manage to feel differ¬ 
ent from other sets of killing devices 
in other games, and the level design is 
imaginative. 

What separates BioShock from other, 
more traditional, shooters are its plas¬ 
mids—essentially, genetic enhance¬ 
ments that allow you to wield powers 
ranging from the ability to shoot 
flames from your bare hands to lifting 
lift objects through mind control. The 
gameplay possibilities plasmids open 
up are nearly endless. 

BioShock is quite easily one of the 
best games of this new generation, and a 
breath of fresh air in the gaming indus¬ 
try, even with the game’s claustrophobic 
atmosphere. Nothing in the game is 
that innovative—many, if not most, of 
its elements are borrowed from other 
games—but few games are this finely- 
tuned. And just plain fun. 



s J o ? 

caW^s 

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you don't have to be a 
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040J SUB, open M-F 10-6 
(780) 492-8677 
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www.ualberta.ca/~foodbank 

























THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 23 


DJ JAZZY JEFF 
THE RETURN OF 
THE MAGNIFICENT 



albumreview 

DJ Jazzy Jeff 

The Return of the Magnificent 
BBE/Rapster 


RENATO PAGNANI 

Arts & Entertainment Staff 


I bet recording with D] Jazzy Jeff is a 
very organic experience—he’s prob¬ 
ably one of those low-pressure pro¬ 
ducers whom rappers love working 
with. If Jazzy Jeff—who made a name 
for himself alongside a young, rapping 
Will Smith—doesn’t have an unend¬ 
ing supply of buddha and video games 
to spark recording sessions, I wouldn’t 
be surprised if his studio was on some 
new-age feng shui shit with yoga mats 
abound. 

Either scenario seems equally plau¬ 
sible, and both would lead to the 


relaxed kind of tracks that are found 
on The Return of the Magnificent. 

Nothing on the album sounds forced: 
the rappers who make an appearance 
seem to be chosen more because they 
are friends of the veteran producer and 
DJ and less because they’re marketable 
names. The biggest name is probably 
the half-out-of-his-element Method 
Man: “Hold It Down” floats above 
water thanks to his indelible charisma, 
even though we’ve heard these rhymes 
before in various shapes and sizes, bad 
fart jokes and all. 



I albumreview 

Bend Sinister 

EP 

Distort Inc./Storyboard Records 


y BRYAN SAUNDERS 
Si Arts & Entertainment Staff 


It seems like 365 days a year, an new 
EP is released by a some Vancouver- 
based band claiming to have a sound 
so original that it defies categorization. 
Often, on the back of their CD jacket, 
said band declares its own assumed 
awesomeness, using the “the next 
big thing” tag, or something to that 
effect. 

About 364 times a year, these decla¬ 
rations turn out to be very, very empty. 


Once in a blue moon, however, there’s 
actually merit in these claims, and a 
band like Bend Sinister come along 
and pleasantly surprises the jaded 
public. Blending prog, jazz, and eclec¬ 
tic rock, Bend Sinister lays down a 
remarkable five-track EP where each 
song melts seamlessly into the next. 
Furthermore, each and every track— 
especially “TV War,” “Time Breaks 
Down,” or “Julianna”—easily stands 


Mason. Qii.se.y- 




albumreview 

Mason Casey 

Sofa King Badass 
Northern Blues Music 




MARIA KOTOVYCH 
Arts & Entertainment Staff 


Marvin Gaye and Barry White were 
rare soul singers who could easily melt 
female fans into puddles of desire. 
After Gaye died, only White possessed 
such skill; with his passing in 2003, it 
seemed like proper seduction through 
song would never again be possible. 
Even though White’s songs will for¬ 
ever be associated with 1970s cheesi¬ 
ness like tight plaid pants, odd facial 
hair and red shag carpeting, the man 
knew how to croon. It’s fortunate then 
that Mason Casey, with his fantastic 


new album Sofa King Badass, prom¬ 
ises to pick up where White left off, 
all while delivering some pretty sweet 
blues. 

With that voice and that harmon¬ 
ica, what’s not to like? Every song is 
carefully crafted to offer something 
unique: “Nine Times a Man” has some 
interesting call-and-response action 
going on, “Don’t End our Love” will 
make you wanna say “bow chicka 
wow wow,” and “Sofa King Badass” 
and “Taxi Love” have some funky 


Usually on these kinds of albums, 
the bigger-name guest stars will phone 
in their verses because they know few 
fans will hear the songs. But all par¬ 
ties involved sound enthused to be a 
part of The Return of the Magnificent: 
Posdnuos (of De La Soul) continues 
his trend of consistent, workman¬ 
like performances on “Let Me Hear U 
Clap.” Big Daddy Kane lets his voice 
melt into the funk of “The Garden;” 
and CL Smooth hasn’t sounded this 
good since the last time he worked 
with Pete Rock. 

This applies to most of the songs on 
The Return of the Magnificent, besides 
a few missteps. Smartly, Jeff stays out 
of the way of the songs, appearing 
only in humorous skits about his own 
fame. With open, spacious sounds and 
Jeff’s utilitarian beats, it’s the type of 
music you’d only heard on the radio if 
you had an XM or Sirius subscription. 
But don’t call it a comeback—Jazzy has 
been around for years. 


on its own. 

This five-person band is reminis¬ 
cent of Queen, Chikinki, and The 
White Stripes, and shares a label with 
Alexisonfire, but is by no means a 
carbon copy of any of these acts. 

Musically, the group dynamic of this 
band is solid, which is how it should 
be—four of the five band members 
grew up together, with the fifth being 
a seasoned veteran of the music scene. 
Due to this closeness, the band seems 
well past the young-band stage of 
searching for a sound to define them. 
Bend Sinister’s songs are experienced 
and mature, and the vocalists, the gui¬ 
tarists, and the drummer all get their 
respective time in the spotlight. Giving 
Bend Sinister some time on your latest 
playlist wouldn’t be a bad idea. This is 
one band that actually lives up to its 
own hype. 


disco grooves going down. Casey, 
who also played harmonica on the late 
Wilson Pickett’s last record, has clearly 
incorporated some of Pickett’s soul, 
funk, and R&B influences into his 
own music, and it sounds awesome. 

Sofa King Badass is not entirely a 
soul / funky blues compilation; some 
of the songs, such as “You Make it 
Hard” and “That’s My Heart,” swing 
to a toe-tapping jump beat. And if the 
album hasn’t provided enough variety 
by that point, “My Prayer” is, well, a 
prayer. 

Back to the seduction through song. 
In “Let Me In,” Casey’s begging an ex to 
take him back. “Don’t End Our Love” 
runs along the same lines. He delivers 
his pleas in such a low, smooth and 
sexy voice that it would be impossible 
for this former lover not to consider 
his request, even if only for a second. 
More than likely, the person would 
reply with “bow chicka wow wow.” 


Free Pool 

in September 

for U of A1 st Year Students* 



for all 

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Free Pool Hours: Daily between 9:30 AM -11:30 AM 

*Please bring in first year timetable and photo id. for proof of first year status. 



UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA 

STUDENTS' 

UNION 


Hours: Monday - FYiiday 9:30 AM - 8 PM 

Saturday 10 AM - 6 PM 

Phone: 492-9468 | games@su.ualberta. 


BY-ELECTION 

NOMINATIONS 

WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING NOMINA¬ 
TIONS FOR THE STUDENTS’ COUNCIL 
AND GENERAL FACULTIES COUNCIL 
BY-ELECTION TO BE HELD ON 

SEPTEMBER 27 & 28 


THE POSITIONS AVAILABLE ARE LISTED BELOW BY FACULTY 



www.su.ualberta.ca/vote 


MIKE OTTO 


AGRICULTURE FORESTRY AND HOME ECONOMICS 

1 Students’ Union Council Seat 

2 General Faculties Council Seats 

ARTS 

3 Students’ Union Council Seats 

4 General Faculties Council Seats 

BUSINESS 

2 General Faculties Council Seats 

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2 Students’ Union Council Seats 
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2 Students’ Union Council Seats 

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1 Students’ Union Council Seat 

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1 General Faculties Council Seat 

NURSING 

2 Students’ Union Council Seats 

1 General Faculties Council Seat 

OPEN STUDIES 

2 Students’ Union Council Seats 

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1 Students’ Union Council Seat 

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SCIENCE 

3 Students’ Union Council Seats 

2 General Faculties Council Seats 


Nomination Packages are available from 2-900 SUB. 302K SUB. or online at 

WWW.SU.UALBERTA.CA/VOTE 

NOMINATIONS ARE DUE ON SEPTEMBER 17 @ 17:00 


OH HOW THEY WIGGLE AND SQUIRM The Arrogant Worms were dressed to rehearse last Friday afternoon. 













sports@gateway.ualberta.ca ♦ thursday, 6 September, 2007 


SPORTS 

Bears hockey primed to reclaim streak against Oil 



FILEPHOTO: NICKWIEBE 

RACING FOR THE PUCK The Bears hope that they'll be able to skate right past the professional competition when they meet the Oilers rookies on Monday. 


ROBIN COLLUM 
Sports Editor 


Matching professional players against 
varsity student-athletes may seem like a 
one-sided exercise, but those involved 
with the annual exhibition game 
between the Golden Bears hockey team 
and the Edmonton Oilers rookie squad 
would disagree. In truth, the teams are 
almost evenly matched, both in the 
challenge the game presents to them 
and the benefit it brings. 

Rob Daum, both the Oilers’ newest 
assistant coach and current Bears head 
coach Eric Thurston’s predecessor 
behind Alberta’s bench, is able to gauge 
how useful the exhibition game is for 
both teams. 

“Leading up to it, they’re all in train¬ 
ing camp, so it’s a good chance for the 
rookies to play against another team 
instead of just each other, and it’s a 
useful evaluation tool for the team,” he 
explained. “It’s terrific for the Oilers to 
support the Bears program, especially 
from a public relations standpoint, but 
it’s also a good opportunity to evaluate 
players and for them to play in a differ¬ 
ent environment.” 

The Bears get both excellent opposi¬ 
tion and a boost in their public profile 
as Clare Drake Arena is packed with 
Oilers fans and news crews eager for 
a glimpse of the newest recruits. The 
Oilers rookies, on their part, use the 
game as a way to gauge their progress 
after a gruelling training camp. 

The Oilers do need to bring their best 
game to the ice for the match, as the 
Bears can be a formidable opponent. In 
fact, the annual showdown has been 
almost neck-and-neck over the years, 
with Alberta holding a slim 10—9 series 
lead over the Oil—much of that total 
thanks to a five-year winning streak for 
the Bears that the Rookies finally man¬ 
aged to break last September. 

The Bears are eager to avenge last 


season’s loss with the experience they’ve 
gained in the intervening year. 

“It’s always a good game,” Thurston 
said. “Last year we had quite a few guys 
who had never played in the game 
before because of such big turnover the 
year before, and it’s usually a game we 
let our veterans play in. They’re looking 
forward to it.” 

Of course, both teams will have 
strengths and weaknesses in the game 
next week. The Oilers will put forward 


an extremely talented batch of young 
players, but they have not been skat¬ 
ing together for very long. The Bears, 
though some of them are perhaps not 
as skilled, have more experience and 
are used to playing together as a team. 

Daum emphasized that playing the 
rookies gives the Bears an extra mental 
boost as they launch their season. 

“It’s an exciting time for the Bears 
because it’s pretty much the only time 
of the year that they’re perceived as 


somewhat of an underdog,” he said. 
“They relish that, and they relish the 
opportunity to show what they’re 
capable of.” 

The Bears have good reason to be 
confident going into Monday’s game. 
Ranked number one in the country 
during the regular season last year, 
they only graduated one player: Scott 
Henkelman. 

At the end of the day, Thurston seems 
less concerned with the outcome of the 


friendly match than simply anticipat¬ 
ing an exhilarating match-up for his 
players. 

“The Oilers scouts and management 
do a very good job of drafting, so their 
power level is always very exciting to 
watch,” he said. “It’s an exciting game 
for our guys because they get to show 
their skills and their abilities for the 
Oilers brass watching in the stands.” 

The puck drops at 7pm on Monday, 
10 September at Clare Drake Arena. 



NO GRABBING It'll take a lot of fight for the U of A to win as often as last year. 


Grass greener at home for Pandas soccer 

Rebuilt team happy to have home-pitch advantage for season opener at Foote 


ROBIN COLLUM 
Sports Editor 


When the Pandas soccer squad takes 
to the pitch for their home opener on 
Saturday afternoon, they’ll have good 
knowledge of the terrain on their side. 
It’s a good thing, too, because most 
everything else about how the young 
team will perform is still unknown. 

The Pandas graduated eight players 
from last season’s Canada West silver- 
medal team, which also earned an 
impressive 11-2-1 record. Now, those 
who follow the league are watch¬ 
ing to see how the rebuilt team per¬ 
forms against strong Canada West 
competition. 

“We get to be a bit of a dark horse. 
We’re going to have a lot of learning 
to do, and no one really knows what 
to expect,’’said Liz Jepsen, Pandas head 
coach. 

Jepsen, who was named CIS Coach 
of the Year last season, appreciates last 
year’s success, and acknowledges the 
positive legacy it set up. She doesn’t 
want to rest on her laurels, though. 

“I got that accolade last year, but I 
attribute that to the squad that I had, 
and I think that what we did is battle 
hard to be well organized, to learn 
how each other plays, and apply some 


great soccer principles,” she said. “To 
me, I think my challenge always as 
the coach is to bring that to the next 
season. Now we need to bring all the 
new girls onto the page so that they 
understand the Pandas program— 
what [Pandas soccer] is all about—and 
[ensure] that those veterans who are 
coming back get even better at what 
they’ve been doing.” 


“We get to be a bit of a 
dark horse. Were going 
to have a lot of learning 
to do and no one really 
knows what to expect” 

LIZ JEPSEN 

PANDAS SOCCER HEAD COACH 


The team has enlisted eleven play¬ 
ers fill the vacancies in the roster and 
Jepsen is ready to take on the chal¬ 
lenges her new side is facing. 

“I think people expect a lot of holes. 
However, we do have depth and 
quality [with] the players in develop¬ 
ment,” she said. “I’m looking forward 
to seeing our new players—like play¬ 
ers in previous years who have trained 


hard and shown dedication—become 
great Pandas.” 

Several of the new additions to the 
lineup look particularly promising, but 
good recruits or not, the Pandas will be 
glad to have the home-field advantage. 

“I like to think that there’s a certain 
feeling—a certain spark, a breath of 
fresh air—as you walk onto a pitch 
that you know,” she explained. “You 
come back to your park, and you have 
that muscle memory; you know how 
it feels and what to expect. Whereas 
when you’re in someone else’s park, 
there are unknowns, like the parking’s 
not there, or the bus driver took a 
wrong turn, or we can’t get in for our 
training. It gives you an advantage to 
not have to worry about all the things 
that won’t happen.” 

The Huskies lost their head coach 
at the end of their 3-9-2 2006 season. 
This year’s squad is mostly first- and 
second-year players, but Jepsen doesn’t 
discount them. 

“Bringing in new coaches will bring 
in a newly raised spirit for them,” she 
said. “They’ll have a different look, 
and combined with what they had in 
the past, that should be an additional 
bonus for them.” 

The games will be on Saturday and 
Sunday at Foote Field at 12pm. 






THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


SPORTS 25 


Battle ahead for football Bears against Begina 


'**“*»•»*• ■— * jav’" 



FILE PHOTO: NICK WIEBE 


CATCH ME IF YOU CAN The Bears offense will have their work cut out for them against the high-scoring Regina Rams. 


ROBIN COLLUM 

Sports Editor 


Though the football Bears drew the 
short straw schedule-wise for the sea¬ 
son’s first game—losing to last year’s 
Vanier Cup runner-up Saskatchewan 
Huskies at their home stadium in 
Saskatoon last week—they should 
be much more evenly matched on 
Saturday’s home opener against the 
Regina Rams. 

Like the Bears, the Rams put up a 
4—4 record last year—though they 
did make it to the playoff semifi¬ 
nals, unlike Alberta—and lost their 
first game of the season this year to 
a conference powerhouse. Regina 
was beaten by the Manitoba Bisons, 
who were unbeaten in the 2006 reg¬ 
ular season, and eventually lost the 
conference title to the Saskatchewan 
Huskies. 

For his part, Bears head coach Jerry 
Friesen wasn’t disheartened by last 
week’s 45—14 loss, especially consid¬ 
ering the competition his team was up 
against. 

“It was a learning opportunity for 
us, and a chance to find out where we 
are,” he said. 

Going into the Huskies game, and 
into the season as a whole, Friesen’s 
goal has been to concentrate on refo¬ 
cusing the team after a number of 
off-season changes. In addition to 
losing a number of prominent players 
to graduation, there have been a few 
coaching changes. As he prepares to 
meet Regina, he said that this is still 
his main plan. 

“It’s progressing well, but it’s some¬ 
thing that doesn’t happen overnight. 


Everybody’s adjusting to where they 
are now. We just need to work on 
our fundamentals,” he said. “Outside 
of that, our communications pro¬ 
cess is starting to smooth out and 
get quicker, and those are two key 
things.” 

And though the Rams don’t have the 
Huskies’ fearsome reputation, Friesen 
won’t be taking anything for granted 
this weekend. 


“Everybody’s adjusting 
to where they are now. 

We just need to work 
on our fundamentals.” 

JERRY FRIESEN 

BEARS FOOTBALL HEAD COACH 


“Regina is a very challenging team. 
They’ve only graduated a few players 
[from last year], so they’re just getting 
better there,” he said. “They’ve got an 
all-Canadian quarterback, so we’ve just 
to got to make sure to watch out for 
these challenges defensively, and give 
them some things to work on as well.” 

The Rams know that they’re going 
to have to bring their best game 
against Alberta as well. Head coach 
Frank McCrystal said that as long as 
his team manages to avoid some of the 
costly penalties they incurred against 
Manitoba, they stand a good chance. 

“We’re not expecting that we’ll be 
given many easy chances this game, 
[but] we just need to focus on our exe¬ 
cution,” he explained. “We don’t really 
focus on individuals; we just need to 


play our best, and execute everything 
well.” 

Friesen hopes that the fact that it’s 
a home game will play to the Bears’ 
advantage. 


“It should make a real difference. 
This is our field; we practice on it; 
we run on it; we sweat on it; we go 
up and down on it,” he explained. 
“There’s just something about being 


in your own turf.” 

The Bears will line up against the 
Rams at Foote Field on Saturday at 
2pm, and can be heard on the radio 
on AM 1260. 


U of A Scholarships are the solution! 



S3] UNIVERSITY OF 

ALBERTA 



Undergraduate Student Awards 

The Student Awards Office has several scholarship competitions with 
fall deadlines. Each competition has its own set of criteria and eligibility 
requirements as outlined in the following descriptions. 

For more information on these and other competitions please visit our 
website at www.registrar.ualberta.ca/awards or the Student Awards 
Office at 1-80 Students' Union Building. 


Jason Lang Scholarship 

Applicants must be Alberta residents who have achieved a minimum GPA of 3.2 on *24 in their 
previous year of studies (September 2006 to April 2007). 

The deadline to apply is September 15,2007 

University of Alberta Undergraduate Academic Scholarship Competition 

There are approximately 300 awards available through this competition. The awards range in value 
from $500 to $4,000 with some being Faculty specific and some open to students in any Faculty. 

The deadline to apply is September 30,2007 

Rhodes Scholarship 

Applicants must be Canadian citizens or living in Canada; have been born between October 2,1983 
and October 1,1989; and have received an undergraduate degree before attending Oxford (except 
medical students). 

Applications are available at the Student Awards Office. 

The deadline to apply is October 1, 2007 

Undergraduate Leadership Awards 

There are approximately 50 available through this competition. The awards range in value from $500 
to $12,500 with some being Faculty specific and some open to students in any Faculty. 

Application information is available on the Student Awards website at 

www.registrar.ualberta.ca/awards. 

The deadline to apply is October 15, 2007 


Important Changes to Students Awards 


The Student Awards Office is currently implementing new software that will allow us to 

distribute awards more efficiently. 

Below is a brief breakdown of what to expect: 

1. No more paper cheques will be issued. Payments will be applied directly to tuition. 

2. Students will be able to input banking information on Bear Tracks and have any refunds or 
payments go directly into their bank accounts. 

3. Most awards will be divided equally—half in the Fall term and half in the Winter term, prior 
to the deadline for paying tuition and fees. The award will be applied towards tuition and 
fees and any remaining balance will be refunded. 


Check www.registrar.ualberta.ca/awards for important notices. 










26 SPORTS 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.thegatewayonline.ca 


Gateway sees future, uses powers for good 

Thanks to our deep understanding of spiritual vibrations and cunning reading of tea leaves, we are able to exclusively predict 
whats in store for some of the University of Albertas biggest teams. Repeats, three-peats, disappointments: its all here 



Weve been looking into our spe¬ 
cial crystal bocce balls, and what we 
see is a successful season for most 
of the University of Albertas major 
teams—or those that draw the larg¬ 
est crowds, at least. The Golden Bears 
and Pandas collected quite an arsenal 
of medals, banners, and trophies last 
year, and even though a lot of the stel¬ 
lar athletes responsible for them have 
graduated, the stars—and the very 
informative lunar eclipse this week— 
tell us that there will be more than a 
few repeats. We’ve translated the mys¬ 
tical energies, and what follows are 
the spirits’—and our—best guesses as 
how some of the 2007/08 seasons will 
turn out. 

Bears Volleyball 

There’s a simple formula for predict¬ 
ing the success of a CIS team before 
the season even starts: consider the 
team performance last year, then look 
at the roster to see how many players 
are returning. Write it down—it’ll 
help you win bets with friends, or in 
my case fellow Gatewayers. 

Judging by said surefire criteria, 
the Bears volleyball team looks to be 
in pretty good shape for the 2007/08 
season. The only graduating players 
last year were Justin Wong and Derek 
Proudfoot, so there are still plenty of 
returnees from the Bears’ CIS silver- 
medal run last year. 

Kevin Hatch will slide easily into 
the void left by Wong at the libero 
position because he played about half 
the games last season. Several other 
starters are also returning, including 
captain Brock Pehar, right side Joel 
Schmuland, middle Adam Kaminski, 
and left sides Thomas Jarmoc and 
Tim Gourlay, all of whom were 


instrumental in achieving Alberta’s 
17—1 regular season record. 

In addition to the strong return¬ 
ing lineup, 2006/07 CIS Coach of 
the Year Terry Danyluk always has a 
strong off-season recruitment cam¬ 
paign, in a large part because Alberta 
has had one of the strongest volley¬ 
ball programs in Canada over the last 
few years. Look for a combination of 
talented returning veterans and some 
young, athletic rookies to propel the 
Bears to the top of CIS. 

My prediction for Bears Volleyball 
is a podium finish at the CIS national 
championship in March, and I don’t 
think aiming for gold is unrealistic. 

—Andrew Renfree, Sports Staff 

Pandas Volleyball 

During the summer, I started includ¬ 
ing the word “boss” (as an adjec¬ 
tive) in my lexicon as a way of better 
describing things that I felt were 
above-average or of great stature. I’m 
picky with its use, too. As my friends 
will tell you, I don’t just go throw¬ 
ing around that word at anything and 
everything. 

So, why mention this? It’s because I 
get the feeling that when I look back 
on the 2007/08 season of Pandas vol¬ 
leyball, I’m going to be saying, “that 
was totally boss.” 

Rather, this season elicits a good 
feeling from me because of the 
momentum carried over from last 
year’s triumph at the Canada West 
Championships, as well as in the 
national final against Laval. Added to 
that is the fact that almost all of the 
core pieces of Laurie Eisler’s win¬ 
ning formula from last year are still 
intact for the upcoming season, some 
having been in game shape—and 
playing for Canada—all summer. 

Reigning CIS Player of the Year 
Tiffany Dodds and CIS tournament 
all-stars Jocelyn Blair and Darryl 
Roper have been putting in time 
on the court, participating in the 
Universiade Games as members of 
Team Canada. Their abilities can only 
have gotten better with the interna¬ 
tional exposure and 
elite coaching, and 
they will have that 
extra bit of expe¬ 
rience up their 
sleeves when 
called upon 
to lead the 



Pandas’ charge against some of the 
other stronger teams in Canada West 
and CIS. 

Look for the Pandas to, once again, 
be blocking, hitting and serving their 
way to the top of the Canada West 
standings this year as they begin their 
quest for back-to-back CIS titles. 

—Nick Frost, Sports Staff 

Bears Football 

Another solid, if slightly unfair, way 
to make a season prediction is to wait 
until after the first game before decid¬ 
ing how the team will fare. That’s the 
approach I took for football. After 
all, you never really know what will 
become of off-season changes during 
the regular season, so it helps to wait 
a game or two before locking in your 
pick. 

If the first game is indicative of 
the season to come, the Bears foot¬ 
ball team might be in for a rough 
ride. Saskatchewan disposed easily of 
the Green and Gold, winning 45—14 
in the first regular season match on 
Friday. In Alberta’s defence, they 
had an uphill battle. The Huskies are 
perennial Vanier Cup contenders, and 
the game was held at Saskatchewan’s 
home field with 5000-plus fans cheer¬ 
ing them on. 

But even with the tough loss to 
Saskatchewan behind them, Alberta 
still faces many obstacles in 2007. 
Alberta starting quarterback Quade 
Armstrong is only in his second year, 
and has yet to prove that he can lead an 
offence consistently. On Friday he only 
threw for one touchdown pass, and 
will have to improve those numbers 
if he wants to lead Alberta to offen¬ 
sive success. The defensive secondary 
is also full of young faces, with corner 
Jason James and defensive halfbacks 
Neil Ternovatsky and Steve Boyko all 
having graduated last year. 

And it wasn’t only players who left 
the organization. Rick Walters has 
stepped in as Alberta’s new offensive 
coordinator after Terry Eisler left for 
a job with the Eskimos. It could take 
Walters a while to grasp the role and 
for the players to adjust to his coach¬ 
ing style. Head coach Jerry Friesen has 
declared that he’s aiming for a playoff 
berth for his Bears, but that will be 
a tall order. Unfortunately, I think 
Alberta will miss the playoffs again 
for the second consecutive year. 

—Andrew Renfree, Sports Staff 

Pandas Basketball 

I’ve consulted deeply with my Inner 
Eye, and the way it blinks twice for 
yes” tells me that this could very 
well be the year for Pandas 
basketball. The team’s exhil¬ 
arating playoff run last 
season, which led them all 
the way to a silver medal at 
nationals, was a surprise to 
many outsiders. 


MIKE KENDRICK 


The team boasted only one fifth-year 
player (though that was centrepiece 
Michelle Smith), came off a losing 
record the year before, and were led 
by an interim coach, Scott Edwards. 

Well, Edwards is back for good 
(with the 2006/07 CIS Coach of the 
Year award on his shelf), the roster 
is stacked with a lot of fourth-years 
who now have playoff experience, 
and everyone will undoubtedly be 
buoyed by last year’s success. It’s 
many of those fourth-years who are 
really the ones to watch this year: 
forwards Kristin Jarock and Trish 
Ariss, as well as point guard Ashley 
Wigg, will make themselves known 
on the court. 

I won’t go so far as to predict a 
nationals win for the Pandas, but 
I would be surprised if they didn’t 
make it to the CIS finals again this year. 
They’re going to be the team to beat in 
Canada West, and this year, they have 
a reputation to uphold. 

—Robin Coiium, Sports Editor 

Bears Basketball 

After a second-straight playoff loss at 
the hands of the Saskatchewan Huskies 
last year, the Golden Bears hardwood 
squad should have plenty of motiva¬ 
tion to get past their Eastern rivals. 
Unfortunately for them, two of their 
starters graduated last season. Even 
more unfortunate: Andrew Spagrud 
didn’t. 

Saskatchewan’s all-Canadian has 
been the bane of the Bears’ existence 
for his four years in CIS, and this 
year should be no different. While 
the Bears should have the guards 
to almost replace the loss of versa¬ 
tile wingman Tyson Jones, they will 
sorely be lacking up the middle, 
where they lost conference all-star 
Scott Gordon. Gordon was the team’s 
top inside scoring threat, as well as 
often responsible for guarding the 
opponent’s big guy. 

The Bears will rely heavily on fifth- 
year guard Alex Steele for offence, 
and hope that he provides more 
consistent numbers than a year ago, 
when he was capable of both break¬ 
ing out for 30 or slumping through 
a single-digit effort. Efficient point 
guard CG Morrison returns for his 
second year with the Bears and will 
be counted on to provide secondary 
scoring, while one of Scott Leigh, 
Neb Aleksic and Andrew Parker will 
step into Jones’ role in the backcourt. 

Up front, Justin Van Loo should 
take over as the top scoring option 
from Gordon, while 6’10” fifth-year 
centre Richard Bates—who lead the 
conference in field-goal percent¬ 
age last year—will be looked to for 
increased defensive pressure and 
rebounding. 

Either way, the Bears will still 
need to go through Spagrud and 
Saskatchewan to make Nationals, and 
I see yet another loss coming for the 
Green and Gold. 

—Paul Owen, Managing Editor 

Pandas hockey 

If I were one of the other CIS 
womens’ hockey teams, I would 
be embarrassed right now. The 
Pandas have been dominating the 
league so thoroughly for so long 
that it’s almost like the other teams 
aren’t trying any more. This isn’t 
true, of course: women’s hockey 
is getting stronger and stronger in 


this country, and that means so is the 
Pandas’ competition. Alberta has won 
all but two of the Canada West cham¬ 
pionships since its inception in the 
1997/98 season, and this year will be 
trying for a three-peat (and their sev¬ 
enth banner overall in nine years) at 
the national championships. 

They’ll be attempting to continue 
their dominance without some of 
their star players, like last season’s CIS 
Player of the Year Lindsay McAlpine, 
and Taryn Barry, who scored the CIS 
gold-medal-winning goal last season. 
They’ve still got many of their core 
players, though, including wings 
Jenna Barber and Tarin Podloski. 
Podloski, along with center Jennifer 
Newton, trained with the Canadian 
under-22 team. 

I think there’s a good chance that 
the Pandas will be able to fight their 
way to the top, or near it, this season. 
They’ll have to work for it, though, 
because everybody else is getting 
better too. They’ll especially have to 
watch out for competition from the 
Eastern conferences—strong teams 
that they won’t see until playoffs. 

—Robin Collum, Sports Editor 

Bears Hockey 

The end to the 2006/07 campaign 
didn’t quite pan out the way that the 
Golden Bears hockey team might’ve 
hoped given another impressive list¬ 
ing in the win column for the regu¬ 
lar season, but don’t expect a similar 
ending this year. 

Sure, I could look back and comment 
on the fact that the Bears dropped the 
last two games of a three-game set 
to Saskatchewan in the Canada West 
Finals—even squandering a 3-1 lead 
in the deciding game—and probably 
use the word “choked” quite a few 
times. But I’ll pass on that oppor¬ 
tunity because, like the men’s team 
themselves, we all need to start look¬ 
ing forward—and as far as I can 
see into the crystal ball, I’m seeing 
Alberta making a return to the big 
dance. 

This year’s squad looks poised to 
continue laying down the smack on 
their opponents, while laying kisses 
on the side of the University Cup 
for the third time in four years. The 
blood has had time to boil over the 
summer, and the arsenal has been 
upgraded for battle. 

With four new players being 
brought in from the Western Hockey 
League, not to mention the fact 
that the Bears only lost one player 
due to graduation—while still 
retaining the services of CIS first-team 
All-Canadians Ben Kilgour and Aaron 
Sorochan among others—this is 
a team ready for a fight. And if the 
old adage holds true that “Whatever 
doesn’t kill them only makes them 
stronger,” there is little to no reason 
why Alberta shouldn’t make it all the 
to the end, and even win the whole 
damn thing. 

If anything’s going to kill the ice 
Bears, though, it’s that they might 
let important games slip out of their 
control like the tended to last year. 
Whether it’s because of the play¬ 
ers getting lazy or complacent, or 
because of huge pressure on the 
team to do whatever, Alberta needs 
to make sure to avoid dropping 
games—like those against perennial 
rivals from Saskatchewan—when it 
matters most. 

—Nick Frost, Sports Staff 



THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


SPORTS 27 


NHLs pre-K designs enrage this fan 



“I worried when I saw Toronto’s retro’ look. I cringed 
a little when Florida slapped some racing stripes and 
glue-on sparkles on their otherwise decent fatigues. 
And I was actually a little impressed by Vancouver’s 
successful effort to make a jersey that was even uglier 
than their 1978 ‘Big Fucking V’ outfits.” 


A s the designer at this little 
operation that we call a news¬ 
paper, I’m confronted with 
poor design every day. Critiquing the 
layout of posters and billboards in my 
head is just a quirk that I’ve developed 
with the job. By now, I’ve learned to 
let some things slide, since not every¬ 
one realizes that clutter doesn’t equal 
sexy design, or that Comic Sans should 
not be used in any situation, ever. But 
when it comes to an overhaul as mas¬ 
sive as the NHL’s new line of jerseys, 
certain design missteps are simply 
unforgivable. 

When the so-called “reimagining” 
of team uniforms was announced 
during this year’s All Star break, I 
was a bit leery, but willing to give a 
chance to the creative gurus in the 
league’s art department. After all, 
while Nashville’s mustard-yellow 
alternate sweaters weren’t the pretti¬ 
est fashions in professional sports his¬ 
tory, at least the powers that be got a 
few things right with the latest styles 
for my beloved Calgary Flames. 

One thing us creative types have to 
accept, though, is that no matter how 
good a design idea might seem, noth¬ 
ing can hold a candle to the power of 
the misinformed CEOs who are at the 
helm of athletic corporate sponsor¬ 
ship. At least, that’s who I’m pinning 


the blame for this one on. When I 
picture the creative sessions for some 
of those jerseys, I imagine a bunch of 
cigar-smoking, suit-wearing monkeys 
sitting around an elaborate board- 
room table carved of human bones as 
head imp Gary Bettman—clad in his 
virgin-skin cloak, breathing fire 
and shitting brimstone—graciously 
approves the ill-conceived rede¬ 
signs. Meanwhile, dump trucks of 
dollar bills, fueled by the undis¬ 
tilled tears of broken eight-year- 
old hockey fans everywhere, 
unloaded their tainted funds directly 
into the coffers of these ungodly 
magnates. 

As a hockey fan and a designer, I 
take my jerseys very seriously. 

I worried when I saw Toronto’s 
“retro” look. I cringed a little when 
Florida slapped some racing stripes 
and glue-on sparkles on their other¬ 
wise decent fatigues. And I was actu¬ 
ally a little impressed by Vancouver’s 
successful effort to make a jersey that 
was even uglier than their 1978 “Big 
Fucking V” outfits. 

But perhaps the most heinous fash¬ 
ion crime—a terrible blow that I see 
as a personal strike against everything 
I hold dear as a Flames fan—came ear¬ 
lier this week. Calgary unveiled their 
entry into Reebok’s Hall of Shame, 


and the cries of the damned were 
unleashed upon the urban sprawl that 
covers south-central Alberta. I mean, 
vertical stripes? Armpit curves ? A 
huge blue Alberta flag on the shoul¬ 
der of a crimson sleeve? What the 
hell were they thinking? 

I can’t help but think that new head 
coach Mike Keenan was somehow 
involved in this monstrosity, perhaps 
in an effort to fuel his players with 
rage and seething hatred after a lack¬ 
luster playoff run. I suppose you could 
equate it to feeding razor blades and 
sawdust to a rabid pit bull that you’ve 
been poking with a sharp stick, before 
unleashing him upon a playground 
of school children wearing Oilers 
jerseys. 

The Oilers, meanwhile, have yet 
to display their own attempt at pre¬ 
school arts and crafts hour. If it’s any¬ 
thing like their horrendous season 
last year, and I look forward to seeing 
what tripe they come up with. At the 
very least it will provide me with 
some solace—though at this point, 
the only thing the NHL could do to 
renew my hopes would be to appoint 
Lanny MacDonald Prime Minister 
and launch a rocket containing Kevin 
Lowe, Craig MacTavish, and Sean 
Avery on a one-way trip directly into 
the flaming sun. 


Federers athletic feats already amaze 

Whether he wins this years US Open or not, the Swiss Mister is already the 
greatest mens player of all time—maybe even the top individual athlete period 



I f you don’t know Roger Federer, 
you’ve been living under a rock. 
Even people who aren’t sports 
fans or those unfamiliar with tennis 
should know this athlete. Federer has 
revolutionized the game, shattering 
anyone’s expectations of what can 
be achieved by a single athlete. He 
has dominated his sport more than 
any other tennis star ever—it will 
be a long time before we see anyone 
else who can live up to the legacy 
he’s building himself—and arguably 
more than any other athlete either, 
regardless of sport. 

The Swiss Mister began his rise to 
the top of the tennis world in 2001, 
when he reached the quarterfinals at 
Wimbledon for the first time, beat¬ 
ing seven-time Wimbledon champion 
Pete Sampras along the way. Two years 
later, in 2003, he took home the big 
prize there, winning his first Grand 
Slam tournament. 

His career really took off in 2004, 
however, when he reached the world 
number-one ranking, a position that 
he has held ever since. That year, he 
won three of the four men’s singles 
Grand Slam events—Wimbledon, the 
US Open, and the Australian Open— 
and defeated the likes of Lleyton 
Hewitt and Andy Roddick. And he did 


all of this without a coach. 

Wimbledon has been the site of 
some of his greatest successes—he 
has won it every year since 2003, 
and is only the second man to have 
five consecutive wins there in tennis’ 
Open era, the other being legendary 
Bjorn Borg. The list of records that he 
holds is extensive to the point of being 
comical. 

Wimbledon has been 
the site of some of his 
greatest successes—he 
has won it every year 
since 2003, and is only 
the second man to 
have five consecutive 
wins there in tennis’ 

Open era, the other 
being the legendary 
Bjorn Borg. 

He was the first player in the Open 
era to win his first four Grand Slam 
singles finals; in 2006 he became the 
first man since 1969 to reach the final 
in all Grand Slam single events in one 
year; he has won more consecutive 
Grand Slam sets than any other man; 
he’s only two Wimbledon wins away 
from Pete Sampras’ career total titles 
there; he is the only man to have held 
five consecutive Wimbledon titles, 
two consecutive Australian Open 
titles, and three consecutive US Open 


titles at the same time. And the list 
goes on—he’s only 26 years old. 

He is already in the record books 
alongside the likes of Sampras, Borg, 
Rod Laver, and John McEnroe, and he’s 
on pace to outstrip them all. Barring 
significant injuries—and he’s been 
remarkably healthy so far—he will 
enter the record books as the greatest 
tennis player of all time, and in fact 
the most dominant single athlete in 
any sport, ever. 

Federer has been compared to Tiger 
Woods in golf and Lance Armstrong 
in cycling, but the analogies just don’t 
work. Though Tiger is certainly the 
best golfer of his generation, he hasn’t 
had the same kind of singular and 
consistent domination. 

As for Mr Livestrong, the similari¬ 
ties are stronger, but not close enough. 
Armstrong has accomplished feats— 
his record-setting seven Tour de 
France victories in particular—that 
are unlikely to be duplicated, but the 
difference between cycling and tennis 
is that, essentially, Armstrong just did 
the same thing seven times. Federer 
has trounced the competition in so 
many different conditions—clay, 
grass, and hard courts—not to men¬ 
tion that he doesn’t have a team back¬ 
ing him up. 

As this paper goes to print, Federer 
is facing Roddick in the quarterfinal 
of the US Open. Another Grand Slam 
win by Roddick would be an incred¬ 
ible feather in his cap, but it would 
do nothing to diminish Federer’s 
position—he’s in the record books 
already, and there’s still plenty of 
time. 



-- vy 

eat fresh- 



We are now accepting applications for Sandwich Artists 


No experience necessary 
Free Food 

Up to $12/hr starting 

Full time / Part time shifts available 

Flexible Schedules 

$1000 staff (shared) bonus every month 
International students welcome! 


Apply at any of our 3 campus location; 
Students' Union Bldg, HUB or Newton Place 





J' 



The game of “pooh-sticking” involves dropping sticks in a stream 
and watching to see which one reaches the finish line first. 

We shit you not. 

Meetings Tuesdays at 5:30 


GATEWAY SPORTS 

Not as dirty as we sound since 1910 


ua. 


Alumni Advantage Scholarship $2500 

& 

TD Meloche Monnex Leadership 
Scholarship $1000 


The University of Alberta Alumni Association is awarding two 
$2500 scholarships (one undergraduate and one graduate) 
and one $1000 scholarship (open to only undergraduate stu¬ 
dents). To be eligible to apply for these scholarships you must: 

1) Be a full-time continuing student at the University of 
Alberta; 

2) For the Alumni Advantage Scholarship show proof 
of high academic achievement (GPA of 3.5 or 80% 
or higher); 

For the TD Meloche Monnex Scholarship show 
proof of satisfactory academic achievement (GPA of 
2.0 or 50% or higher); 

3) Demonstrate involvement in campus or community 
service and volunteerism; 

4) Be the recipient of no other major scholarships or 
awards (major awards are valued at $4500 or 
higher) in the current academic year; and 

5) Be either an alumnus of the University of Alberta 
or a daughter, son, granddaughter, or grandson of 
an alumnus. 

To apply for these scholarships, please pick up your applica¬ 
tion form at the reception desk at the Office of Alumni Affairs 
(6th Floor General Services Building) or go online 
at www.ualberta.ca/ALUMNI/scholarships/. 

Deadline for receipt of applications is OCTOBER 31,2007 









28 CLASSIFIEDS 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.ttiegatewayonline.ca 



Vaccine to Prevent Genital Herpes 


UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA 

STUDENTS' 

UNION 


The Access Fund is a non-repayable 
undergraduate fund for students in need. 


If you are in financial 

NEED PLEASE VISIT THE 

Student Financial Resources 
Center at SUB 1-80. 


Hours for September - April 
Monday, Wednesday - Friday 
8:30am to 4:30pm 
Tuesday 8:30am to 6:00pm 

Contact Information 
(780) 49 2 -3483 
accessfund@su.ualberta.ca 
www.su.ualberta.ca/accessfund 


Students who are philosophically opposed to the Fund may opt-out online at www.su.ualberta.ca/accessfund. The Fall opt-out deadline is October 12th 


_ £ : ,iv 

“ Thank you Access Fund 
for supporting me when my 
parents couldn't help me 

and I couldn't apply for 

student loans • - 2 nd year Arts Student 


- 2 nd year Arts Student 


This is one of the 4762 U of A 
students that has been helped 
by the Access Fund. 


Volunteers Needed 


Who? 

Women age 18-30 who have never had 
cold sores or genital herpes. 

How? 

Division of Infectious Diseases, University 
of Alberta Hospital, is doing research with 
an investigational vaccine for prevention of 
genital herpes. 

Participants receive: 

• Free screening for herpes 
•An investigational vaccine against herpes 
or against hepatitis A 

Call 

407-6272 or 407-6945 to talk with a 
research nurse 


The Facts 

•This vaccine CANNOT give you herpes 

•Approximately one in five Canadian 
women have genital herpes 

• Many don’t know they are infected 
with herpes 

• Herpes can be spread to those you love 

• In rare cases, women can pass herpes to 
infants during delivery 


CLASSIFIEDS 

To place a classified ad, please go to 
www.campusclassifieds.ca 

_ FOR RENT _ 

For rent, 3 bedroom 1,5 bath 1200 sq ft townhouse off 23 
Ave/Saddleback Rd, close to all amenities, 2 parking stalls. 
NSNP. Furnishings optn'I. September 1, $1800/month. 
Catherine, evenings, 438-2075. 

WANTED 

Students interested in graduating debt free! Exciting, fun, 
rewarding part-time efforts pay you full-time. Learn and 
earn! www.goldteamnetwork.usana.com 

SERVICES 

On campus guitar instruction. Nowbookingforfall lessons. 
www.equavemusic.com 

ANNOUNCEMENTS 

American Sign Language Class Level One, non-credit 
course, begins 20 September, 2007 for twelve weeks: 
Thursdays, 6:30-9:30 pm, $125. Contact Specialized 
Support and Disability Services, U of A, 492-3381, 2-800 
SUB for registration. 

EMPLOYMENT - PART TIME 

Kitchen help needed at the Upper Crust Cafe and Caterers. 
PT or FT, Close to campus. We can be flexible around your 
schedule. No Sundays or long weekends. Fax resume to 
436-8942 or in person afternoons 10909-86 Ave. 

The Creperie Restaurant Requires part-time hostess/host 
two to three nights a week. 4:30-10.00pm $8.50 Plus 
Gratuites Please fax resume 4265020 Email kuhnel@telus. 
net Tel. 4206656 Downtown 10220-103 Street 

Catering Delivery driver needed for Upper Crust, Must be 
available 10am-2pm. Neat in appearance. Clean Driving 
record, Free lunch when on shift. Apply by fax 436-8942 or 
in person afternoons 10909-86 Ave. 

Weekend part-time (32 hours/month) Personal care aide 
needed for F Quad, located by Coliseum, $12-15/hr. Call Lisa 
(RAPS) 425-5450 

Part-time receptionist for professional optometry office 
required for Wednesday and/or Thursday evenings. Above 
average wages. No experience required. Please drop off 
resume to Millcreek Optometry Centre at #100 9145-82 
ave. or fax to 465-4599. 

Part-time Receptionist required at River Valley Health. 
Uiversity area sports chiropractic clinic looking for energetic 
individual to fill immediate opening. Position offers campus 
location, flexible hours and competitive wages. Applicant 
must possess excellent communication and customer 
service skills. Phys Ed, Kinesiology or Physiology background 
and previous reception experience are assets. Applicants 
must be available for morning and weekend shifts and 
summer employment, Email cover letter, resume and hours 
of availability to kristens@rivervalleyhealth.com. 


VOLUNTEERS WANTED 

Girl Guide Leaders desperately needed NOW. Must be 
female and 18+. Contact rainbowvalley.guides@hotmail. 
com or 435-5068 for info. Come join the fun! 

Got an hour? Be an In-School Mentor! Read. Write in 
a journal. Explore computers. Play in the gym. Enjoy 
arts and crafts. We have over 50 elementary schools 
to choose from in Edmonton and area. Call Big Brothers 
Big Sisters at 424-8181 or visit us online at www. 
bbbsedmonton.org. 

The Student Distress Centre is looking for volunteers 
who want to make a difference! Training starts Sept 13, 
apply today! www.su.ualberta.ca/sdc 

Volunteer Assistant for Kids Karate Club, ages 6-12. 
One hour/week Thursdays 4pm, two blocks from UofA 
Campus. 2+ years experience in a Martial Art. Email 
WPKKC_Sensei@hotmail.com or phone Gordon at 
492-9930 weekdays. 

PERSONALS 

Single in the city? Try speed dating with Eight Minute 
Date on 11 Sept at the Fluid Lounge. Age groups: 
27-40 and 42-53. Register at 457-8535 or www. 
eightminutedate.ca. 

AVALANCHE OF PANCAKES 

Introducing the next evolution of newspaper 
distributions: The Gateway Dead-Hand Doomsday 
Device. 

Designed and built by the finest of former Soviet 
Bloc nuclear scientists, the Gateway Dead-Hand 
Doomsday Device will activate in the event of a 
catastrophic printing disruption; be it a nuclear attack 
by a rogue nation, sudden drop in advertising revenue, 
or unexpected power outage. 

The indestructible Gateway black box is guaranteed 
to survive a direct nuclear strike upon the Students' 
Union Building, In such an event, the Doomsday Device 
will automatically begin printing issues of the paper, 
beginning from the early 1910 issues, through the 
Depression-era soberness of the 1930s, the infamous 
1952 "Year of Masturbation", up until the current 
hackery that we attempt to pass off as journalism. 
To keep things current, the Gateway Dead-Hand 
Doomsday Device is programmed to insert current 
dates, names and forced pop-culture references into 
the old articles, making them indistinguishable from the 
current, manpower-intensive issues of the Gateway. 

As an added bonus, the GDHDD makes delicious 
frappacios with the push of a button. It's advanced 
Mutually Assured Destruction software will also 
target the most populous cities on the planet for 
nuclear retaliation, guaranteeing punishment to those 
responsible for the unmotivated attack/minor clerical 
error that led to the Gateway's demise. 

The Gateway: Learning to stop worrying and love 
the bomb since 1910. 



Come get your 
student loans 


processed at SFAIC. 


Edulinx representatives will be at SFAIC to process 
student loans until September 14 th. For more details 
and assistance with loan signing, please contact us. 



Visit Us at 

1-80 SUB 


Monday, Wednesday - Friday 
8:30 to 4:30 
Tuesdays 
8:30 to 6:00 


STUDENTS 

UNION 


Contact Us 492-5483 

sfaic@su.ualberta.ca 

www.su.ualberta.ca/sfaic 


It’s your education, your money - start asking questions. 













THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ADVERTISEMENT 29 


Do you want to volunteer 

for the Gateway? 


Writers! 

Photographers! 

Illustrators! 



THE GATEWAY 

no experience necessary since 1910 






THE GATEWAY 


www.thegatewayonline.ca 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 

volume XCVIII number 2 


Published since 21 november, 1910 
Circulation 12 000 
ISSN 0845-356X 


CAMPUS 
CRIME BEAT 

Compiled by Mike Otto 


SO, FENESTRATION? 


Suite3-04 At midnight on 4 September, a pair of 

Students'Union Building Lister residents were spotted trying to 

University of Alberta 

Edmonton, Alberta enter the building by crawling through 

T6G2J7 a window. The pair were let off a 


Telephone 780.492.5168 
Fax 780.492.6665 
Ad Inquiries 780.492.6700 
Email gateway@gateway. ua I berta .ca 


warning. 

WORSE THAN THOSE PESKY BIKE 
COURIERS 


editorialstaff 

editor-in-chief Adam Gaumont 

eic@gateway.ua I berta. ca 1492.5168 

managing editor Paul Owen 

managing@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.6654 

senior news editor Natalie Climenhaga 

news@gateway.uaIberta.ca 1492.7308 


At 3pm on 3 September, a vehicle was 
seen driving on the sidewalk at 88 
Avenue and 114 Street, Upon pulling the 
vehicle over, Campus Security found that 
the male driver had a warrant out for his 
arrest, EPS was contacted, the driver was 
charged, and was given three tickets for 
the sidewalk shenanigans. 

SPACE CASE STRIKES AGAIN 


deputy news editor Ryan Heise 

deputynews@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.6664 

opinion editor Conal Pierse 

opinion@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.6661 

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Paul Blinov 

entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.7052 

sports editor Robin Collum 

sports@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.6652 

photo editor Mike Otto 

photo@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6648 

design & production editor Mike Kendrick 

production@gateway.ualberta.ca 1492.6663 

onunecoordinator Victor Vargas 

online@gateway.ualberta.ca 


At 2pm on 3 September, a 50-year-old 
male was bothering people and acting 
suspiciously in Quad. Campus Security 
arrived on scene and found a familiar 
fellow that had been previously given 
the boot, He claimed to be an astronaut, 
and when asked if he drove to campus, 
replied, "In a car?" He was once again 
shown the proverbial door. 

IFSASIGN 

During a routine pull-over at 6am on 
2 September, constables discovered 
that the two male occupants of the 
vehicle were in possession of several 
traffic signs stolen from around campus. 
The two were arrested for possession of 
stolen property, and the driver of the 


vehicle—a current student—was given 
a 24-hour driving suspension. EPS are 
investigating. 

THAT r S, LIKE, META 

On 1 September, a student called 
Campus 5-0 to report the theft of an iPod 
and keys from Lister Hall. Later that after¬ 
noon, the student phoned back to report 
that another floor resident had taken the 
items for safekeeping, fearing they would 
be stolen. 

SOMEBODYWAS GROUCHY 

Also on 1 September, Campus Security 
was contacted about an assault at 
112 Street and 87 Avenue. One male 
was crossing the street when a vehicle 
approached. The driver exited the car and 
proceeded to push the pedestrian into a 
garbage container. The suspect then fled 
the area. EPS is investigating. 

SO, JAY-PASSING? 

On 30 August at around 2am, it was 
reported to Campus Security that a 
male was sleeping on a heating grate 
near the Materials Management build¬ 
ing. Officers attended the area and the 
male was advised to leave campus. The 
male was seen a short time later in the 
area of HUB, at which point the campus 
boundaries were explained again, and 
he was directed to leave. The male was 
subsequently arrested for failing to pro¬ 
vide his name to a peace officer follow¬ 
ing a jaywalking offence. He was found 
to be in the possession of tools and small 
amount of cocaine. The male refused to 
identify himself to CSS and police who 
later attended to take him into cus¬ 
tody. After confirming his identity, he 
was charged with trespassing and two 
charges of failing to identify himself to a 
peace officer. 



SURE THEY'RE HAPPY NOW But come midterms, Quad revelry will be rare. 


businessstaff 

business manager Steve Smith 

biz@gateway.ualberta.ca | 492.6669 

ad sales representative Patrick Cziolek 

sales@gatevvay.ualberta.ca 1492.6700 

ad/graphic designer Larissa Gilchrist 

design@gateway.uaIberta.ca 1492.6647 

circulation pal Megan Cleaveley 

circulation pal Kelsey Tanasiuk 

circulation@gateway.ualberta.ca 

THE GATEWAY is published by the 
A Gateway Student Journalism Society 

(GSJS), a student-run, autonomous, 
apolitical not-for-profit organization, 
operated in accordance with the 
Societies Act of Alberta. 


THE GATEWAY is proud to 
be a founding member of the 
Canadian University Press. 

complaints 

Comments, concerns, or complaints about the 
Gateway's content or operations should be first sent to 
the Editor-in-Chief at the address above. If the Editor-in- 
Chief is unable to resolve a complaint, it may be taken 
to the Gateway Student Journalism Society's Board of 
Directors; beyond that, appeal is to the non-partisan 
Society OmbudsBoard. The chairs of the Board of 
Directors and the OmbudsBoard can be reached at the 
address above. 

copyright 

All materialsappearing in the Gafewaybear copyright 
of their creator(s) and may not be used without written 
consent. 

disclaimers 

Opinions expressed in the pages of the Gateway are 
expressly those of the author and do not necessarily 
reflect those of the Gafewayor the Gateway Student 
Journalism Society. 

Additionally, the opinions expressed in advertisements 
appearing in the Gafewayare those of the advertisers 
and not the Gateway nor the Gateway Student 
Journalism Society unless explicitly stated. 

colophon 

The Gateway is created using Macintosh computers, HP 
Scanjet flatbed scanners, and a Nikon Super Cool Scan 
optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used for layout. 
Adobe Illustrator is used for vector images, while Adobe 
Photoshop is used for raster images. Adobe Acrobat 
is used to create PDF files which are burned directly to 
plates to be mounted on the printing press. Text is set in 
a variety of sizes, styles, and weights of FENICE, Joanna, 
Kepler and Whitney. The Manitoban is the Gateway’s 
sister paper, and we love her dearly, though "not in that 
way” The Gateway's games of choice are Apples to 
Apples and Mind Games. 

contributors 

Jennifer Huygen, Scott Lilwall, Liz Durden, Krystina 
Sulatycki, Nick Frost, Andrew Renfree, Trevor Phillips, 
Jacalyn Amber, Kat Hutter, Jonn Kmech, Maria 
Kotovych, Chris Kraus, Ranato Pagnarii, Bryan Saunders, 
Tara Stieglitz, Zhendong Li, Nick Wiebe, Pete Yee 



Students returned to classes yesterday, taking in riveting lectures of ECON 707 and STATS 747. 

31 KLLI CK3 What course do you think the U of A should offer that it doesn't? 

Compiled and photographed by 
Liz Durden and Krystina Sulatycki 



I think it should offer one about the sexual I think more junior level nanotechnol- 

habits of insects and invertebrates. I ogy courses and more adventurous 

think that it is such a fascinating world courses like whitewater kayaking and 

out there, and there are so many insects scuba diving. Or just an adventure course 

and so many invertebrates, and we don't period, 

know very much about them. I am sure 
they have fantastic sexual lifestyles. 


Maybe some Persian courses. I know there are some human sexual¬ 

ity courses but... just at a basic level, so 
maybe if they had more of that kind of 
stuff. More performative, more higher 
level things. There are a lot of classes 
that are interesting, but they only hit the 
surface. If they went deeper they might 
bring more interest to students. 






















ttiursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.tliegatewayonline.ca 


30 comics 


COMICS AFTER MIDNIGHT byConal Pierse 


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OUR DEAR LEADER by Adam Gaumont 
Dear leader, I just spoke with the 
American, Rumsfeld. 

He said R Kelly is going to co-operate. 
"T Our plans are coming to fruition. 


Excellent. Tell them 
to send Mr Kelly to 
our country. 

Immediately... 






PEANUT & CIRCLE by Chris Krause 


1 W£ 

mACL& 

of 

life 


How LOMC, W\LL VT > 
TAL£, \bF. Pitswiluam^T 




LABOue. AMD tLUVjE^y CAM 
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VA^- U ° 


Modern & Jazz Dance 
Classes - Choreography - Performance 


Join t*day! 

Orchesis Dance Group Director, 
Tamara Bliss 
Phone: 492-0770 
tamara.bliss@ualberta.ca 


Orchesis Chair, 

Rhonda Ketch 

rketch@ualberta.ca 


0 , 


Visit Our Website! 

www.uofaorchesis.org 


UNIVERSITY OF 

ALBERTA 


n Campus Recreation 

faculty of Physical tducation and Recreation 


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^tud ent Inventors Wanted 


i.t! 


u. 


TEC student 

entrepreneurship 

program 

We help university and college students turn their 
new technologies into companies. 

For more information: 

Kim.lto@TECedmonton.com 

(780)492-1865 

www.TECedmonton.com/SEP.cfm 


TEC 


Technology, Ehtrapranaur and Company Davalopmant 


A joint venture ol the University ol Alberta and the City ol Edmonton 



















THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


ADVERTISEMENT 31 







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tiiursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.thegatewayonline.ca 


32 ADVERTISEMENT 




















THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


NEWS 



O) 


DEWeY’S 



COFFEE BAR • LOUNGE • EATERY 


VI 



open 


8a 



TARASTIEGLITZ 


EXTINGUISHING EXHAUST The University wants to reduce the number of single-occupant vehicles in the area. 

U of A tackles transit troubles 

The Administrations Travel Demand Management plan aims to address 
many of problems created by the influx of commuters coming to campus 


JENNIFER HUYGEN 

News Writer 

As students and staff gear up to go 
back to class, University administra¬ 
tors are bracing themselves for the 
increased travel demands that affect 
campus. 

The Travel Demand Management 
(TDM) plan, initiated by the 
Department of Facilities and 
Operations, was introduced to the 
University community in late 2002 to 
ease these concerns at the University of 
Alberta’s Main and South Campuses. 

The plan provides incentives such as 
reduced public transit costs, as well as 
disincentives such as increased park¬ 
ing costs, to discourage the use of the 
personal transportation as the primary 
means of commuting to the U of A. 
According to TDM’s executive sum¬ 
mary, released in January 2007, over 
80 per cent of the vehicles travelling to 
and from campus are single-occupant 
vehicles. 

According to Don Hickey, 
University Vice-President (Facilities 
and Operations), “The key is that 
we are seriously looking at how 
we expand and address the issue of 
sustainability.” 

The executive summary also stated 
that the project’s main goals include 
the need to increase vehicle occu¬ 
pancy, spread out the demand for 
travel, conserve energy, and reduce 
pollution. It looks at several options 
to address these factors, including 


parking, transit, pedestrian and bicy¬ 
cle options, and land use. 

The implementation of the student 
U-Pass this September achieves one 
of the TDM’s short-term initiatives— 
namely, to promote the use of public 
transit. As laid out in last March’s ref¬ 
erendum, the University has subsi¬ 
dized the price of the U-Pass by $15 
per student per term. 

“The key is that we are 
seriously looking at 
how we expand and 
address the issue of 
sustainability.” 

DON HICKEY 

VP (FACILITIES AND OPERATIONS) 


According to Students’ Union 
President Michael Janz, the U-Pass is 
not only cost-effective, but also envi¬ 
ronmentally sound. 

“The U-Pass, by our calculations, is 
going to be saving students millions 
of dollars, and we feel very positively 
about it,” Janz said. “It’s going to be 
building future generations of bus 
riders and train riders who will live 
more sustainable lives.” 

Hickey also noted that the student 
U-Pass is just the beginning for the 
TDM. 

According to Hickey, the University 
is “seriously looking at working with 


the City to see what we can do about 
a subsidized pass for staff and faculty 
as well.” 

In addition to the U-Pass, the 
Board of Governors increased park¬ 
ing rates across campus last April. 
The five-per-cent increase marks 
the first in a series of increases over 
the next three years intended to 
discourage parking on campus and 
reduce the need to build more park¬ 
ing infrastructure. 

Janz, however, believes that the 
public will react negatively to this 
change when fall term begins. 

“I think students and faculty will 
be upset with the increase in the 
charge of parking, but it’s reflective 
of the demand Edmonton is facing,” 
Janz said. “Hopefully it will encour¬ 
age more people on this campus 
to consider taking [public] transit 
instead.” 

According to Janz, it’s the right 
time for the University to be seriously 
studying transportation demands. 

“The University needs the TDM 
program because they really are real¬ 
izing how booming campus is.” 

There are currently 8432 park¬ 
ing stalls on campus operated by the 
University’s Department of Ancillary 
Services, with monthly rates ranging 
from $50 to $110. The projected stu¬ 
dent growth figure of 45 000 students 
by 2030 threatens to put a strain on 
parking services, where the demand 
ratio is currently one stall for every 
five students. 


New Alberta government needed to 
address PSE funding issues—Tongas 


EPI REPORT ♦ CONTINUED FROM PAG El 

But Amrhein added that calls to 
streamline the efficiency between 
the federal and provincial govern¬ 
ment in a wide-range of grants, 
scholarships, loans, and research 
funding are nothing new. 

However, Advanced Education and 
Technology Minister Doug Horner 
pointed to a draft policy framework 
setting out roles and mandates from 
public institutions currently underway, 


which he said will provide the funding 
model for postsecondary education. He 
said the affordability framework aims 
to find a way to keep quality and effi¬ 
ciency high. 

“We want to have a transferable, 
transparent system; we want to have 
Campus Alberta,” Horner said. 

“So I guess I’m not putting a whole 
lot of credence to the report.” 

For his part, Tougas stressed that 
more must be done to ensure future 


PSE policies incorporate need-based 
aid along with popular universal 
programs. 

“In a province as wealthy as ours, 
there is no reason not to look at a 
number of different options used 
together to help students,” he wrote. 
“Quite honestly, what Alberta needs 
is a new government that is genu¬ 
inely committed to funding an 
affordable postsecondary experience 
for the neediest students.” 












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4 news 


thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.tliegatewayonline.ca 



JENNIFER HUYGEN 
News Staff 


Hundreds of new first-year students 
joined forces with Guba, Patches, and 
volunteers in brightly coloured T-shirts 
on Tuesday night at Hawrelak Park to 
show off their new school spirit during 
the annual President’s Address. 

The event capped off a two-day 
orientation session for high-school 
and transition students, and featured 
welcoming speeches from both the 
President of the University, Indira 
Samarasekera, and Michael Janz, 
President of the Students’ Union. 

The program opened with remarks 
from the SU Vice-President (Student 
Life) Chris Le, who thanked the 
Orientation volunteers and invited 
everyone to choose their own WoW, 
the theme for this year’s Week of 
Welcome. 

“The WoW theme is Choose Your 
Own WoW,” Le said. “At this point in 
your life, you get to choose your own 
adventure.” 

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U of A Cheer Team, Janz took the 
stage to discuss how education is the 
key to being able to make change in 
the world. 

“At the end of the day, the differ¬ 
ence between barbarism and peace 
comes down to one factor; educa¬ 
tion,” Janz stated. “The problems 
that plague our world—disease, pov¬ 
erty, famine, global warming—these 
are the problems that education can 
solve.” 

Janz also encouraged students to 
follow their own path and get involved 
in the campus community. 

“Take the degree that you want 
to take. Don’t be afraid to try new 
classes or a new program. You will be 
enlightened by the subjects you had 
no conception of back in high school,” 
Janz said. 

A standing ovation greeted 
President Samarasekera, who took to 
the stage following Janz. She provided 
warm words of welcome to the new 
students on behalf of the U of A, and 
energized them to accept the changes 
that lie ahead. Her comments greatly 



MIKE OTTO 

I TOLD YOU SO Samarasekera reiterated much of her message from last year. 


mirrored those that she made at the 
same time last year. 

“This University of Alberta is going 
to change your life,” Samarasekera 
said. “And you, every single one of 
you, are going to change the lives of 
everyone around you.” 

As she had done last year, 
Samarasekera called on students to 
realize their talents and potential, and 
to be proud of the qualities that could 
lead them on to success. 

“Passionate students, raise your 
hand! Energetic students, raise your 
hand!” Samarasekera said. “Daring 
students, raise your hand! Courageous 
students, raise your hand! 

“I can see tomorrow’s politicians, 
leaders, scientists, artists, and busi¬ 
nessmen. I see students who know 
how to think.” 

Samarasekera passed on advice 
to students by touching on several 
different aspects of university life, 
including knowledge from class¬ 
rooms and from peers. She also 
emphasized the importance of dis¬ 
covering oneself within the context 


of postsecondary education. 

“The most important [thing is 
that]—you are here to learn about 
yourself,” Samarasekera said. “I will 
make sure that you have the best pro¬ 
fessors and the best classrooms and the 
best libraries and the best student ser¬ 
vices possible. But you have to do your 


part: find out who you are, where you 
fit in this big, crazy world.” 

The evening ended with a short 
performance by the University of 
Alberta Mixed Chorus and a candle 
lighting ceremony to represent 
the spirit and energy of the U of A 
campus. 



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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


NEWS 


Ottawa assaults raise concerns 


PRECIOUS YUTANGCO 
The Excalibur 

NICK TAYLOR-VAISEY 

CUP Ottawa Bureau Chief 

OTTAWA (CUP)—Two sexual assaults 
in four days have prompted an 
increase in orientation week security 
and awareness campaigns at both of 
Ottawa’s universities. 

The first incident occurred just 
after midnight on 1 September at 
Carleton University. A 2 3-year-old 
female student was beaten uncon¬ 
scious and sexually assaulted inside 
the Analytical Chemistry Research 
Lab in the campus’s Steacie Building. 
The victim was working alone in the 
third-floor lab when the incident 
took place. 

She was beaten and had her hands 
tied behind her back, and suffered a 
broken jaw and a dislocated shoulder 
that required hospitalization. She is 


currently in stable condition. 

Constable Isabelle Lemieux, a media 
relations officer for the Ottawa Police 
Service, added that after the assault, 
the suspect cleaned the woman with 
a wet cloth before stealing her jeans, 
cell phone, a running shoe, and her 
underwear. The suspect was seen flee¬ 
ing the scene on foot. 

“I don’t believe anyone has been 
identified as a suspect,” Lemieux said. 

The police haven’t apprehended 
anyone in relation to the incident, but 
are following up on several leads from 
the public, as well as examining sur¬ 
veillance tapes from the area. 

Only three days later, on 4 
September, an 18-year-old University 
of Ottawa student was assaulted some¬ 
time before 4:30am while she was 
in nearby Gatineau, Quebec. Ottawa 
police—who quickly confirmed that 
the two assaults were unrelated— 
arrested two suspects on the University 


of Ottawa campus only hours later, at 
approximately 7am. 

“There is no connection to the 
Carleton University sexual assault. And 
I think that was important for everyone 
at the University of Ottawa [to know],” 
Lemieux said. “We know how rumours 
can come very quickly, and we want to 
reassure people that this is not another 
attack from the same suspect.” 

At Carleton University, more than 
200 posters with information about 
the assault and an eye-witness descrip¬ 
tion of the assailant have been posted 
around campus. Carleton officials also 
discouraged students from going out 
alone. 

Claude Giroux, the director of 
Protection Services at the University 
of Ottawa, said his team is currently 
using all available resources to protect 
the campus. 

“We’re being very vigilant at this 
point,” he said. 


Students want input on housing issues 


HOUSING ♦ CONTINUED FROM PAG El 

“There is more [money] coming,” 
he said. “But this was the immediate 
fix up that was required.” 

Fourth-year elementary education 
student Angela Bigstone, who lived in 
B&B House for about a year and a half, 
noted that aboriginal-specific housing 
is an important component in helping 
students be successful. 

“A lot of aboriginal students come 
from really remote communities, so 
when they come into a student hous¬ 
ing ... that’s set aside for aboriginal 
students, they at least have a sense of 
identity and somebody to have a sense 
of community with,” she said. 

“As a single student, I’m more mobile, 
and so I hope sometime in the future 
there is more housing available for fami¬ 
lies,” she said. 

Thunder added that, while ASC 
doesn’t retain responsibility for 
dealing with aboriginal housing on 
campus, the student group is still 
interested in getting involved and 


providing input. 

“Nobody asks what the student 
needs are; it’s interesting that even 
the news comes to us to ask us what 
we think, but the University in gen¬ 
eral doesn’t ask what students need or 
want for student housing,” Thunder 
said. “If the University wanted to 
do talks about improving aboriginal 
issues on campus, they need to listen 
to the students first.” 

But as far as future residence ini¬ 
tiatives at the U of A go, Executive 
Director of Ancillary Services 
Doug Dawson explained that the 
University has recently commis¬ 
sioned a study to examine all resi¬ 
dence housing types and locations. 
He said the study, entitled Residence 
Master Plan, is anticipated to be 
completed in November. 

“Residence Master Plan, just like 
any long-range development plan, 
will begin to inform us how we 
develop our residences in the future,” 
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thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.thegatewayonline.ca 


Housing crunch hits 
Sask students hard 


6 NATIONAL NEWS _ 

McGill DFUs create deficit 

The ability for students to easily opt out of certain dedicated fee units using 
online forms has caused a stir for many student groups and organizations 


KELLY EBBELS 

The McGill Daily 


MONTREAL (CUP)—Students at 
McGill University were given an 
online option to opt out of some fee 
payments this summer. Now the 
Students’ Society of McGill University 
(SSMU) is warning some clubs and 
societies to prepare for drastic budget 
cuts. 

For a two-week period at the begin¬ 
ning of each academic term, students 
who want to opt out of SSMU service 
levies or the independent fee levies 
for McGill’s chapter of Quebec Public 
Interest Research Group (QPIRG) 
can now do so online. The previous 
system forced students to submit their 
requests in writing. 

In a letter to the affected stu¬ 
dent groups, McGill Deputy Provost 
Morton Mendelson described the 
move to online opt-outs as a step 
toward “greater transparency and 
more timely service.” 

But student group and SSMU rep¬ 
resentatives fear that their operating 
budgets—and their autonomy—are in 
jeopardy with the new arrangement. 

“It actually puts us in danger. We 
now have no security over our fund¬ 
ing,” said QPIRG-McGill’s internal 
coordinator, Leila Pourtavaf. 

SSMU President Jake Itzkowitz 
and Vice-President (Finance and 
Operations) Imad Barake expressed 
concern about the process’ simplic¬ 
ity. They requested that the opt-out 
window be shortened to five business 
days at the beginning of each semes¬ 


ter, and that there be an extra pop-up 
window to provide as much informa¬ 
tion about each optional fee as pos¬ 
sible. 

Both requests were denied. Now 
SSMU is warning affected groups to 
expect a budget reduction of up to 
40 per cent. 

However, Mendelson defended 
the decision, saying that the manual 
process of opting out was “less legiti¬ 
mate.” He also pointed out that the 
University retained the authority to 
regulate the opt-out process. 

“It actually puts us in 
danger. We now have 
no security over our 
funding.” 

LEILA POURTAVAF 

INTERNAL COORDINATOR 
QPIRG-MCGILL 


“This ensures students the right 
to opt out in a convenient way,” he 
said. 

QPIRG, part of a national network 
of Public Interest Research Groups, 
conducts research on social justice 
and environmental issues. The orga¬ 
nization’s opt-out procedure is written 
into its constitutional by-laws and it 
has been processing opt-outs manu¬ 
ally since its inception in 1988. QPIRG 
had planned to move the opt-out 
process to its website, along with an 
optional questionnaire, to make the 
process more accessible. However, it 


argues that the new system infringes 
upon its autonomy. 

“We believe [this move] is an attack 
on independent student groups,” 
Pourtavaf said. 

There are seven optional SSMU fees 
students pay each semester, including 
three new fees that passed last semester 
by referendums. Some McGill faculties 
also collect optional fees. Larger ancil¬ 
lary fees, such as the $103 Athletics 
Fee and $ 100 Information Technology 
Charge, are not optional. 

If students were to opt out of 
every such possible fee—not includ¬ 
ing their Health and Dental Plan, 
which students can already opt out of 
online—they would save $26.75 per 
semester. 

QPIRG, Queer McGill, and 
Midnight Kitchen—the vegan food 
collective that passed an optional ref¬ 
erendum fee of $1.25 last semester— 
are among the groups affected. They 
held a meeting on 1 September with 
others affected by the opt-out process 
to discuss concerns and to formulate 
a plan. 

However, no group’s agreement 
with McGill specifically addresses 
the opt-out process, severely limiting 
their options. 

Some students are also concerned 
about the lack of notice provided to 
the student organizations about the 
change. While QPIRG was negotiating 
its memorandum of agreement with 
McGill, which it signed only three 
months ago, the University said noth¬ 
ing about a plan to move all opt-out 
fees online. 


KSENIA PRINTS 

CUP Central Bureau Chief 


SASKATOON (CUP)—For students 
attending Saskatchewan’s postsecond¬ 
ary institutions, returning to classes 
this fall could mean homelessness or 
doubled rent. 

With a full residence system, a 
city-wide vacancy rate of 3 per cent 
in April, and overflowing homeless 
shelters, many students arriving at the 
University of Saskatchewan this fall 
are unable to find housing. 

A huge tent city will be raised at 
the University of Saskatchewan’s 
Bowl on 11 September to raise aware¬ 
ness of the housing crisis. As well, 
three of Saskatoon’s postsecond¬ 
ary institutions—the University of 
Saskatchewan, Saskatchewan Institute 
of Applied Science and Technology 
Kelsey Campus, and Saskatchewan 
Indian Institute of Technologies— 
have started free online boarding 
registries, allowing property owners 
to offer boarding opportunities to 
students. 

The University of Saskatchewan’s 
administration has waived user fees 
on the University’s housing registry 
for two weeks. The Administration is 
also considering opening lounges for 
students and even renting out entire 
hotel floors. 

“The level of support is heart 
warming,” said James Pepler, President 
of the University of Saskatchewan 
Students’ Union. 

“It’s fair; it’s capitalism ... but there’s 
just nothing left,” he said. 

Long-term solutions are also in the 


works. The University of Saskatchewan 
has begun construction on several new 
residences, and the Saskatchewan gov¬ 
ernment began consultations to address 
housing issues with community mem¬ 
bers in Saskatoon, Regina, and Prince 
Albert on 13 August. Since then, over 
$11.7 million has been invested in 248 
new and renovated affordable housing 
units throughout the province by all 
three levels of government. 

The province suggested that 
Saskatoon place a temporary ban on 
converting low-rent apartments into 
more lucrative condominiums, but 
the proposal was shut down by city 
council in August. 

Saskatchewan is only the most 
recent province to experience a hous¬ 
ing shortage, signaling a growing 
national concern. 

Cities like Calgary, Edmonton, 
Toronto, and Vancouver have also 
faced a dire lack of affordable housing. 
According to a July Angus-Reid poll, 66 
per cent of Canadians view the housing 
market as overpriced, with Canadians 
aged 18-34 complaining the most. 

Regina is also examining options 
to increase housing opportunities, 
such as policies limiting apartment- 
to-condo conversion and increas¬ 
ing affordable housing projects. 
In Calgary, organizations like the 
Poverty Reduction Initiative have 
been pushing to legalize the rental of 
secondary suites such as basements 
and garages. 

But in Pepler’s eyes, any federal help 
that arrives could come too late. 

“If one student doesn’t have a home, 
then we’ve failed,” he said. 



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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 2 


NEWS FEATURE 


S tudents returning to the world of academia 
can find themselves quickly overwhelmed 
by their hectic new schedules. There are 
buildings to find, classes to attend, and fees to 
recover from. With all of the busde and excite¬ 
ment on campus, it can be easy to forget that there 
are people behind the scenes as well—governing 
bodies that set those fees, decided what classes to 
offer, and allocate those funds to construct and 
maintain all the buildings, to name but a few 
examples. 

While the power structures within the 
University of Alberta can be quite complex, most 
of the decisions that affect you as a student will, 
at some point, fall under the jurisdiction of one of 
the following legislative bodies. And while pages 
and pages could be dedicated to an in-depth look 
at any of them, here’s a quick pre-season guide to 
our local power-mongers. 



Students’ Union 

Established in 1909, the Students’ Union has 
been set up to represent undergrads, who make 
up the vast majority of the student body at the 
University of Alberta. The SU acts as an advo¬ 
cacy group and owns a number of businesses 
on campus that enjoy vastly varying degrees of 
success. 

The Students’ Union Council is made up of 
50 members, 42 of which are elected by each 
of the undergraduate faculties. Instead of voting 
on all of the Council candidates, the few thou¬ 
sand students that can be bothered do so only 
vote for those that are running in their respec¬ 
tive faculty; the number of councillors elected 
in each faculty is determined by the number of 
students in that field of study. Arts and Science, 
the most populous faculties on campus, have 
the most seats. However, no matter how small 
and utterly insignificant they may be, every fac¬ 
ulty is afforded at least one representative on 
Council. Council meets every second Tuesday 
throughout the year. 

The eight executive members of Students’ 
Council are not elected by their faculties, but 
are members of the body ex-officio, meaning 
they are automatically made members by virtue 
of their position. 

President—Michael Janz: Basically the captain 
of team SU, the President is responsible for 
setting the direction of the organization and 
guiding the body. The President represents the 
organization and its students, while meeting 
with University officials, the government, and 
other organizations. Occasionally, he wears a 
suit. 

Vice-President (External)—Steven Dollansky: The 

VPX deals with governments and other orga¬ 
nizations outside the University of Alberta. Be 
prepared to hear him utter the word “tuition” 
at least twelve times per day for the next eight 
months. 

VP (Operations and Finance)—Eamonn Gamble: The 

VPOF is the one with the keys to the figurative 
vault. In charge of preparing the budget for the 
next season, he has a major part in develop¬ 
ing the plan for the SU’s local moneypit, the 
Powerplant. 

VP Academic—Bobby Samuel: The VPA is charged 
with representing the scholarly interests of stu¬ 
dents. Advocating for increasing quality of edu¬ 
cation and addressing student concerns about 
their learning both fall under this portfolio. An 
ideal VPA will also have a strong grip, all the 
better to strangle popular and effective class- 
registration software to death with. 

VP Student Life—Chris Le: SU events such as the 
Week of Welcome and Anti-Freeze are adminis¬ 
tered to by the VPSL. The other 28 weeks of the 
year are devoted to fashioning student-funded 
paperclips into various animal shapes. 

Councillors and the Executive are elected in 
March elections, and hold the position for the 
term of one year. 

Aside from these 48 members, the SU has 
two non-voting members. The Speaker (Amanda 
Henry) is voted on by the Council members, and 
holds dominion over the Council meetings, 


making sure that things proceed in a semi¬ 
orderly manner and that none of the council¬ 
lors try to stab each other while arguing over 
pizza toppings. The SU's general manager (Bill 
Smith) doesn’t serve a term, but is a permanent 
employee of the organization. The GM is tasked 
with both the day-to-day affairs of the SU, as 
well as long-term planning. 

Graduate Students' Association 

The Graduate Students’ Association fulfills the 
same purpose for graduate students that the SU 
does for undergrads, except in a less prominent, 
more competent manner. The GSA Council is 
made up by one member elected from every 
graduate department and the five elected execu¬ 
tive members: this brings the total GSA Council 
members up to 15. The GSA meets less fre¬ 
quently than does the SU, with one gathering 
scheduled every month of the year, and also has 
an annual general meeting in the spring. 

President—Julianna (Julie) Charchun 

Vice President (Operations and Services)—Reza Azimi 

Vice President (Academic)—Tooraj Freeman 

Vice President (Communication)—Matthew Robertson 

Vice President (Labour Relations)—Melissa Gajewski 

General Faculties Council 

The General Faculties Council is the main 
legislative body for the University of Alberta; 
it deals with all manners of student and aca¬ 
demic matters. Everything from student space 
to exam deferral policies fall under the control 
of the GFC. 152 members sit on the GFC: 55 stu¬ 
dents and 97 others made up of administration 
officials, faculty members, and non-academic 
staff. 

A number of the positions on the GFC are 
ex offico; the President of the University, the 
Registrar and the deans of the faculties are all 
members. So are the SU and GSA presidents. 
The other members of the GFC are elected by 
their peers: faculty members are elected by full¬ 
time academic staff while the student represen¬ 
tatives are elected by students. 

Board of Governors 

The Board of Governors holds sway over the 
financial matters of the University of Alberta. 
They make decisions on property and assets 
owned by the institution, and have control 
over things such as rent for U of A residences 
and parking rates. The BOG is also the body that 
sets the fees that students pay on courses and 
specializes in the ancient art of squeezing blood 
from a stone. 

The Board of Governors is a smaller gover¬ 
nance body, with 20 members from different 
areas of university life. The President and the 
Chancellor of the University both have a spot on 
the board. U of A alumni, non-academic staff, 
and members of the University’s Senate are all 
also present. The GSA appoints one member to 
the board (generally the president of the orga¬ 
nization), and the SU has two members: the 
President and the BOG Rep. 

The BOG holds monthly meetings at 8am, a 
time designed to discourage as much student 
attendance as possible. On the other hand, free 
muffins! (Or, at the very least, muffins that 
you’ve paid for indirectly). 


The Chief Returning Officer: 
Referee, Cheerleader, Soccer Mom 

The CRO post is a paid position that is charged 
with administering to the elections and by- 
elections for the GFC and SU. This year’s CRO is 

Craig Turner. 

The CRO receives all of the nomination pack¬ 
ages from potential candidates and campaigns 
and makes sure that everyone running is told 
about the rules of the election. He’s also charged 
with making sure that the rules are followed: if 
any complaints are received about a candidate or 
campaign, the CRO looks at the facts and issues a 
ruling on the matter. If someone has been found 
to have broken a bylaw, it’s the CRO who sets the 
penalty. The penalty for failing to abide by the 
election rules can run anywhere from a simple 
warning to immediate disqualification. 

Although not common, any ruling by the CRO 
can be appealed to the SU’s ominously named 
Discipline, Interpretation and Enforcement (DIE) 
board. The proceedings of the DIE board are 
generally open to the student body to observe. 
The DIE board can decide to uphold the CRO’s 
previous decision, overrule it, or make a change 
to the punishment. In keeping with its moniker, 
the DIE can, and will, hand out a penalty of pain¬ 
ful death. 

What to watch out for 

The Powerplant Restaurant and Bar: For those that 
have followed student politics at all for the past 
few years, it’s common knowledge that this 
notorious watering hole continues to be a thorn 
in the SU’s side. The bar has been operating in 
the red for years, and various business plans have 
tried to pull the campus landmark’s finances back 
into the positive. While much ink and discus¬ 
sion has already been dedicated to the fate of the 
Plant already, it will almost certainly continue to 
be one of the major issues facing the Students’ 
Union this year. 

Housing and Rent: Rent prices in the province, 
and Edmonton especially, have recently made 
headlines as many call for rent controls to keep 
costs from getting out of hand. Rising costs and 
low vacancy rates in the city have blitzed stu¬ 
dents looking for a place to live while study¬ 
ing. Last year saw a 10-per-cent rate increase 
for students living on campus. Student hous¬ 
ing looks to continue being a topic of discus¬ 
sion for the student government. The GSA has 
recently launched a campaign for more afford¬ 
able student housing, and is circulating a peti¬ 
tion demanding stronger rent controls from the 
provincial government. 

Councillor remuneration: Before last year, SU coun¬ 
cilors were volunteers; the ranks were filled by 
those with a pure interest in student governance 
and a love of endless oration. In the Spring of ’06, 
however, Council stumbled over the fact that 
they could vote to pay themselves for their time. 

The remuneration program was put in place 
to encourage better attendance during meetings 
and remove financial obstacles for students inter¬ 
ested in running for a position. Remuneration 
has already come up during the summer ses¬ 
sions of SU Council with strong voices both in 
support and opposition, and there is no reason 
to believe that we’ve seen the last of the issue 
for the year. 



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thursday, 6 September, 2007 ♦ www.tiiegatewayonline.ea 


During the first few weeks back in school, 
you want to be seen—playing with a 
Gateway frisbee, that is! 


Starting Monday and going until Friday, Managing Editor 
Paul Owen will be traipsing through campus, looking for 
people reading the Gateway. Should he find you between 
the hours of 10am and 11am, he may just dish you one of 
these shiny new discs embossed with the logo of your 
favourite autonomous student newspaper on campus. So 
keep one eye on your copy of the Gateway and the other on 
the lookout for a tall guy with a Gateway hoodie and a hat 
with his own initials on it. 

Of course, if you don't want to succumb to reading in order 
to get free stuff, you can always just come up and volunteer 
for us. Email gateway@gateway.ualberta.ca if you're inter¬ 
ested—we treat our minions pretty well. 


THE GATEWAY 

Holding on to the last vestiges of summer since 1910 







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WOW SCHEDULE 


THURSDAY 
September 6th 

Pancake Breakfast 

7:30AM - 9:30AM 
0 Celebration Plaza 

Beer Gardens 

Noon - 6PM 0 QUAD 

• Murder City 
Sparrows 

• The New Weapon 

• And Guest! 

Taste of the U 

5PM-8PM 0 Alumni 
Room SUB 

Cost: $2 or Foodbank 

Donation 

Tours by Campus 

Ambassadors 

and Campus Food Bank 



FRIDAY 
September 7th 

Pancake Breakfast 

7:30AM - 9:30AM 
0 Celebration Plaza 

Clubs Fair 

9:45AM - 3PM 
0 QUAD 

Beer Gardens 

Noon - 6PM 
0 QUAD 

• The Dudes 

• Mother Mother 

• And Guest! 

ECOS Bike Check 

Noon - 4 PM 
0 Celebration Plaza 

Improv 

7PM 0 Dewey's 


SATURDAY 
September 8th 

Shinerama 

7:30AM Breakfast 
9AM Shining 
0 Celebration 
Plaza 

Golden Bears 
Football 

Versus Regina 
Rams 

2PM 0 Foote Field 

Quiz Quest 

8PM 0 SUBStage 
Compete for pride 
& prizes. 

Sleeping Bag 
Drive In 

10PM 0 QUAD 

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opinion@gateway.ualberta.ca ♦ tiiursday, 6 September, 2007 


Time to face facts: 
the city’s gone sour 

THE SLAYING OF A MAN IN HIS 50s IN THE 
Clarke Park parking lot Tuesday afternoon—a murder 
that came only a day after two bodies were found 
outside the Fulton Place community hall—marks 
Edmonton’s 23rd homicide of the year. 

In and of itself, that number is far too high, but 
when taken in conjunction with the 39 killings in 
2005 and the 36 last year—giving Edmonton the 
highest homicide rate in Canada for 2005—it makes 
a compelling argument for Edmontonians to feel 
concerned about their safety in the city. 

What’s most disconcerting about the recent killing 
is the circumstances under which it occurred: broad 
daylight, and in a fairly busy part of the city. Clarke 
Park is awful close to downtown, and the fact that this 
murder occurred in a less-than secluded area without 
the cover of darkness should incite at least a little fear 
in citizens. 

Of course, the joke has always been that Mill 
Woods was the centre of Edmonton’s seedy under¬ 
belly; but of the 23 murders in 2007, only one of 
them—the 7 April killing of Stephanie Rae Butler— 
occurred there. Rather, the highest concentration of 
murders have happened in the general downtown 
area. 

With ten murders either just across the river from 
the University or somewhere else along the LRT line, 
it’s easy to be a little worried about the location of 
your off-campus housing. 

It bodes well, however, that none of these killings 
have occurred anywhere near campus on this side 
of the river. While north of the North Saskatchewan 
has had enough death to scare anyone walking 
alone at night, the south side has remained relatively 
untouched by these violent crimes, maintaining a 
comparatively safe environment in which we attend 
school. Even the Whyte avenue area has been fairly 
quiet beyond the usual bar fights and ocassional stab¬ 
bing sprees. 

But there are good reasons why this violence 
hasn’t—and won’t—spread to campus proper. The 
first is that the large volume of people at almost any 
time of day or night is a deterrent for many criminals, 
which is why Campus Crime Beat is often filled with 
tales of 5-0 officers playing babysitter to a bunch of 
drunkards. Campus Security’s 24-hour protection 
helps keep the nogoodniks and ne’er-do-wells to a 
minimum as well. 

This isn’t to say that university campuses are 
safe havens from serious violent attacks—witness 
Virginia Tech. And as the incident in Ottawa this 
weekend has shown, even the safety blanket offered 
by services such as campus security and Safewalk 
can only extend so far (specifically, the edges of 
campus grounds)—and even then, it isn’t 
impenetrable. 

Of course, it’s a lot more difficult to prevent 
crimes than to catch those who commit them, and 
it’s an issue that all types of law enforcement in the 
Edmonton area need to catch up on. There’s no pride 
in being “The Murder Capital of Canada,” and the 
fact that Edmonton’s murder rates have risen even as 
the overall crime rate falls is a testament to the lack of 
public safety in our city. 

While Edmonton Police Service has done a solid job 
in the past couple years of distancing themselves from 
their troubles of the previous decade, the one thing 
they have yet to gain a handle on are the homicide 
rates in this city, and until that changes, it will con¬ 
tinue to be a black spot for a police force attempting 
to redeem itself. 


PAUL OWEN 
Managing Editor 

In other news: death 

JESUS CHRIST THE NEWS IS DEPRESSING THESE 
days. It seems that nobody has anything to talk about 
but murders, sex offenders, and horrors that are 
occurring overseas. The end of summer is sad enough 
without all the fluff pieces being replaced with 
bullshit fear-mongering. Fuck off and give me my dog 
on a skateboard. 


CONAL PIERSE 
Opinion Editor 


Sure lots of students 
use Pear Scat but it 
compromises our moral 
authority to support it. 




We also feel 
that welcoming 
new students to 
campus compromises 
our morals, seeing 
how they never 
voted for us. 










A 1 


And in light of the 
University's decision 
to reduce oxygen levels 
in SUP, we feel that we 
wouldn't be justified 
in providing the 
excess 02 


Put don't worry, 
we'll contiue to 
advocate for things 
that matter to you. 


i 


like the 
PowerPlant! 


-\ 


CONAL PIERSE 


LETTERS 

Samuel ignoring students 
by abandoning Bear Scat 

I think it's appalling that our elected 
officials—those we've chosen to 
represent us, our wishes and our 
needs—are so blatantly blind to a 
vital service to students at this uni¬ 
versity. 

They were elected by the majority 
and therefore have a responsibility 
to the majority, and it's a well know 
fact that the majority of students rely 
on Bear Scat for all of their school 
scheduling. 

By the end of 2006 the SU 
wasted $210 000 on the Power 
Plant, something the majority of 
students—Listerites being the 
exception—obviously don't need or 
use. And yet the $10 000 promised 
to the Bear Scat team, a minimum 
amount needed to keep service 
running for the upcoming semes¬ 
ter, was taken away because Bobby 
Samuel thinks we don't want SU 
money put into Bear Scat. 

Well Mr Samuel, I, and I'm cer¬ 
tain the other 20 000 students who 
used Bear Scat last year, feel that 
$10 000 is a small price to pay for 
such an amazing service. 

In fact, I feel Bear Scat is worth 
five times that amount. So maybe it 
would be more prudent to check the 
facts and ask me and my fellow stu¬ 
dents what we want done with our 
money before you decide for us. I for 


one don't appreciate being told what 
I want or what I need. 

We as students need to stand 
up and let the student Government 
know that this is something we care 
about, and need for years to come. 

Please write to your elected official 
and let them know you care about 
Bear Scat, and the service it's offered 
to so many students. 

LAURIER “FRENCHIE” ROCHON 

Computing Science 


The official’ registration 
system is toilet-trained 

In the recent Gateway article, titled 
"SU says no to Bear Scat'' (30 
August), the [writer] is referring 
to Bear Scat as "the registration 
system." 

Well, it's not, and it has never been 
the U of A registration system, and 
I say "well done" to the Students' 
Union for not supporting it anymore. 

And, stop calling Bear Scat the 
registration system. Bear Tracks is 
the University's official registration 
system. 

No wonder students get upset 
and drag their registration prob¬ 
lems to the wonderful staff at the 
Registrar's Office because they 
tried to drop a class on Bear Scat 
and it didn't work, and now they 
have to pay for it, 

Well, how many times do they 
have to be reminded to use Bear 
Tracks and not Bear Scat for regis¬ 
tration? 


Bear Tracks shows information in 
real time, so students can see the 
real, actual class availability. Bear 
Scat has never done such a thing, 
plus it isn't secure. 

Kudos to the SU for a job well 
done! 

SIMON O’REILLY 

Open Studies 


Survival guide doesn’t 
teach wilderness skills 

(Re: the Gateway Survival Guide, 30 
August) 

(1) Written to entertain a narrow, 
typically Albertan in-group who 
also happen to be most knowledge¬ 
able about the University. Alberta is 
Texas North, so why not a military 
style George Bush Stephen Harper- 
approved survival guide? God Bless 
Texas! 

(2) Who cares that this odious 
abomination is of no use whatsoever 
to foreign students who need reliable 
survival information in a language 
they understand. 

Yup, the Gateway is morally 
onside. God Bless the Gateway 

RICHARD HODGKINSON 

Via email 


Samuel pulls a Lando 

How would disabling Bear Scat 
improve student life? It just wouldn't. 
I personally don't believe the fact 
that student's don't want Student 


Union money to be spent on Bear 
Scat, as said by VP (Academic) 
Bobby Samuel. 

I will not believe this until I see cold 
hard facts. 

The vast majority of my friends use 
Bear Scat to add and drop classes, as 
well as the handy schedule-printing 
tool, Bear Scat makes it easier to 
search for classes as well, something 
that Bear Tracks lacks. 

Also, since the beginning of my 
university experience, Bear Scat has 
never failed me, whereas Bear Tracks 
has failed me numerous times. That 
is why I chose to stick with Bear Scat, 
because it was simply more reliable. 

Until you can prove to me that 
student's don't want SU money to 
be spent on Bear Scat, I stand behind 
my claim that the SU is making a 
major error in not funding Bear Scat. 

I voted for Bobby Samuel for the 
reason that he would stand behind 
what the students wanted, and me 
(a student) wants [sic] Bear Scat to 
stick around. 

I will be willing to pay the 75-cent- 
per-semester charge to continue 
to use it, and I'm sure many other 
students would as well, That minor 
charge to our already inflated tuition 
cost wouldn't matter to me at all, as I 
use Bear Scat on a regular basis. 

So please, SU: I am a student, I pay 
my fees, and I want Bear Scat to stay 
around. 

RAZA HUSSAIN 

Science IV 

PLEASE SEE LETTERS ♦ PAGE 10