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Full text of "The Gateway (2007-09-18)"

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10 QPIMON _ 

Skinny jeans a poor fit for all 

When your pants are gripping you like an anaconda, you need to go up a size 



A s a person whose primary 
fashion choices in Hie morn¬ 
ing are based on cleanliness, 
I recognize ihat I’m probably noi the 
most qualified person to be dolling 
out fashion advice. But I'm cultured 
enough to know that fads generally 
seem to follow a certain pattern. 
They catch on slowly, but gradually 
become so omnipresent you forget 
what it was even like before they 

As soon as people get used to the 
fad, there's always those who take it 
one step too far. My current fashion 
gripe is with so-called skinny jeans 
These ridiculous vice-like pants have 
got to go. 

For those who are completely 
unaware, skinny jeans are just a 
mutated, more stylized form of the 
same tapered-leg denim we used to 
make fun of our moms for wearing 
when we were in junior high and 
everyone knew flared leg pants were 
the slut. 

When 1 bought my first pair. 1 
considered this irony. I mean, if it 
weren't for the fact that the pants 
were low enough that even the most 
aggressive belt |ob could barely keep 
my ass crack from showing, I had 

essentially just bought myself an 
expensive pair of "mom jeans." 

Another fact that blows my mind 
about the popularity of these pants is 
that they combine two design details— 
tight legs and low waists which are 
generally unflattering to anyone in the 
population having a weight in the 
triple digits. But I'm noc here to pick 
on skinny people—I'm here to pick on 
stupid people. Low-rise and narrow- 
leg jeans can look good, provided you 
wear pants the correct size. However, 
this is often not the case. 

They turned around 
and I blushed when I 
realized it was actually 
a dude in those wacky 
trousers. It was a more 
thorough anatomy 
lesson than any biology 
class Fve ever attended. 

1 was on Whyte with a friend 
recently, enjoying one of the last days 
of summer. While walking, he pointed 
out a girl waiting at a bus stop wear¬ 
ing the most obscenely tight pants I've 
ever seen. 

They turned around and I blushed 
when I realized it was actually a dude 
in those wacky trousers. It was a more 
thorough anatomy lesson than any 
biology class I've ever attended. 

“One really does hang a little 

lower, hey?” 1 commented, and was 
promptly told that I was gross (which 
I am). 

Skinny jeans are especially trendy 
because they're unisex—girls, boys, 
and those in between all seem to be 
obsessed with them. Now, I'm not 
so pretentious as to condemn a trend 
simply because it's popular, and truth¬ 
fully. I actually like the style, but I can't 
help but wonder why some people 
choose to wear them so tightly. 

On the whole, boys are by far the 
worst offenders. I can’t count the 
number of times I've been walking 
on Whyte or around campus and 
seen guys who I thought were girls 
walking like penguins because the 
pants they were wearing didn't have 
the seam allowance to let them bend 
their knees properly. If you're still 
unsure of whether or not your pants 
are too tight, here are a few simple 

Are they hand-me-ups from your 
uvelve-year-old sister? Are you 
abusing your elevator privileges on 
campus because taking the stairs 
results in inevitable rippage? Did 
you drop your S200 Psych text and 
just leave it there because bending 
over seemed a more onerous task 
then just buying a new one? When 
you look at yourself in the mirror, 
can you count tlie freckles on your 
penis? Hey. guess what, your pants 
are too tight. 

Fashion is fluid, and 1 realize that 
this won't last forever, but in die mean 
lime, spare my virgin eyes and buy the 
next size up. 

MOOSE KNUCKLE ! oo-tight jeans show off more than you ever wanted to see. 

Go to the top 

Attend a scholarship workshop 
for tips on applying to SSHRC 

M Social Sdarc©5 and Humanities 7 

Research Council 0 ! Canada September 21, 2007 
9:00-12:00 pm* 

Located in Council Chambers, 2-1 University Hall (south of SUB) 

*9:00-11:00 - graduate scholarship session 
*11:00-12:00 - postdoctoral fellowship session 

-Sponsored by the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research 



This edition of Great Moments 
in Photo History salutes Sir 
Isaac Newton, the man who 
invented light in 1704. The 
material was found to be a 
known carcinogen in large 
quantities, and was initially 
met with public resistance... 
but has since gone 
on to find its way 
into every American 
home. Applications 
in photography fol¬ 
lowed shortly there¬ 

Come on up to the Gateway to learn how to put light to 
work for you. Meetings are Fridays at 4pni in 3-04 Sl'B. 


Acting as both a particle and a wave since 1910