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liH'stkn. 18 September. 200/ • www.lliegaien^ 


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• Assist the Chief Returning Officer in 
overseeing the Students’ Union Elections 

• Opportunities to specialize in the areas of 
Human Resources. Public Relations and 
Election Logistics. 

• Experience is beneficial, but not required. 

Term: October 2007 to the end of April 2008 

Honorarium: $1250 

Applications must be submitted in writing to 
2-900 SUB no later than Tuesday, Oct 2 @ 17:00. 

To learn more about the position please visit the -y-, 

Students' Union Election Website: ^ v)t;€5; 


Some people believe that a child wearing 
a bear costume is adorable. 

These people are traitors to our cause. 

If you want to discuss the growing problem of bear 
sympathizers, drop by one of our Four O'clock 
Thursday meetings jn StJB 3-04. 


Watching out for bear spies since 1910 

Obesity isn’t a problem that can 
be solved just by sitting around 

If we keep accomodating larger individuals, they'll have no pressure to change 



A s the 2012 Olympic Games 
in London draw nearer, 
preliminary preparations 
are underway to accommodate the 
large influx of both athletes and 

Among these is the widening of 
seats in stadiums so that larger indi¬ 
viduals can fit in them—something 
that contradicts the Games' celebra¬ 
tion of physical fitness. 

Seats in Olympic venues can cur¬ 
rently box in people with ass-ends 

50cm wide-tan larger than the 

previous 46. The official reason for 
this expansion is. of course, the clas¬ 
sic one: we must not discriminate 
against people on the basis of size 
or stature, and every effort should 
be made to allow all those who warn 
to enjoy the thrilling events of this 
historic athletic competition to do 
so. Which, I think, is a total load of 

The last thing that these people 

should be doing is sitting down and 
watching athletic events—dtey’re the 
ones who should be down there run¬ 
ning around the track. 

If we want to fight gargantuan 
girth, making room for it isn’t the best 
way to go about it. I guess you could 
call it discrimination if you want, 
but is it really? People are free to live 
whatever lifestyle they choose. This 
doesn’t mean society should adapt 
itself in order to prop up unhealthy 

There's something 
wrong w ith being 
overweight: its bad 
for your health. Just 
telling people doesn't 
seem to be getting 
the message across: 
perhaps some societal 
pressure is in order. 

In essence. thLs is wltal we're doing 
when we increase the seat sizes at 
stadiums- Moreover, it’s this kind of 
appeasement that allows the problem 
to go unsolved. 

I will grant that people whose 
weight issues arise out of genetic 
disorders or othe r factors beyond their 
control should perhaps lie excused 
from the debate. But we shouldn't 
make amends for people who are 
grossly overweight due to their poor 
eating habits or a simple lack of will 
to gel rid of their schmeebs. 

We should do nothing to make 
these people more comfortable— 
maybe then they'll choose to do 
something about their ballooning 

There’s something wrong with 
being overweight: it’s bad for your 
health. Just telling people doesn’t 
seem to he getting the message across; 
perhaps some societal pressure is in 

I'm not saying that upping the 
width of a seal will increase obe¬ 
sity. but I think tills Ls symptomatic 
of a larger issue. We're telling these 
people, either directly or indi¬ 
rectly. that it's okay for them to be 

if we stop atcotnmodaling them, 
they'll either have to change or stay 
on their couch ai home and get fatler. 
1 should hope they prefer the former; 
unfortunately this won’t happen 
until both parties choose to flex their 
muscles a bii. 

If educated University women aren't 
willing to speak OJt. who 'Anil? I'm not 
saying you have to burn bras, stop shav¬ 
ing, and support abortion, but a: leas: 
write a f jcking angry letter .eez. 


_ Education V 

SU not senicing students 

There’s one thing that escapes me in all 
this debate about Bear Scat where do 
some SU executives get the idea that the 
sole function of the SU is lobbying? 

Part of the SU's mandate—the most 
important part, I wojld argue—is to pro¬ 
vide services for students. Students cer¬ 
tainly don't give the SU $65.75 per term 
just to lobby—that money is supposed to 
go towards providing useful services 
Perhaps some executives, particularly 
Bobby Samuel, need to be reminded 
that the precious SU funds that they 
don t want going toward Bear Scat only 
exist because students pay SU fees each 
term, expecting services in return. 

Forget all this Dedicated r ee Unit gar¬ 
bage. Were already paying the SU for 
services, and I, for one. feel we re not 
getting much value for our money. 

I'd wager that Bear Scat is used by 
more students than any other SU ser¬ 
vice, and thus it is entirely reasonable, 
and should be expected, that the SU 
f jnd it our of the money' we give them to 
provide services. 

SU executives: lobby all you like, feel 
righteous about it. bur don't forget what 
we’re paying you for 

Computing Science IV 

Lets trade notes, not germs 

Everybody stays up late cramming for 
exams and getting proiects done, leaving 
us all on edge and run down. Although 
everybody loves university students, 
germs especially love us. We catch and 
amass diseases like they 're -fokemon 

I know while in the Tory bathroom 
holding your nose from the stink and 
thinking about the hot boy/girl you just 
boinked there last week, the last thing 
on yojr mind is to be washing those little 
extremities or yours. However, doing 
more than the usual rise—even an extra 
45 seconds—can go a long way to stop¬ 
ping the spread of germs. 80 per rent of 
germs could be killed if we all |ust washed 
cur hands Everybody thinks toilet seats 
end pjblic restroom knobs have a ton of 
germs on them, however, most people 
don't realize that ATM machines and 
doorways have more. 

While sitting in a lecture theatre 
.the professor is muffled by coughing, 
right? Cover your mouth Just because 
you’re plugging away, it doesn't give you 
points of valour; you're making it hard to 

Yesterday, while answering some¬ 
body's question, they coughed openly 
into my face, and when I stopped talking, 
they asked me why? Are you retarded? 
You |ust coughed into my face 

I don't want your germs going into my 
mouth I don't even want your germs on 
my clothing I'm sorry, but if you're sick, 
stay home And please cover your mouth 
if you must be on campus, and stop blow¬ 
ing your load everywhere like a groom on 
his wedding night. 


_ Business Communications IV 

Letters to the editor should be dropped 
off at room 3-04 of the Students' Union 
Building or e-mailed to lettersiwgateway. 

The Gateway reserves the right to edit 
letters for length and clarity, and to refuse 
publication of any letter it deems racist, 
sexist, libellous or otherwise hateful in. 
nature—especially if it's typed with caps 
lock on The Gateway also reserves the 
right to publish letters online 

Letters to the editor should be no 
longer than 350 words, and should 
induce the author's full name, program, 
year of study and student identification 
number to be considered for publication. 



Maybe it's just me, but it seems as 
though campus is especially rich with 
ignorant troglodytes blessed with a 
bonus chromosome, to whom noth¬ 
ing in the world is more important than 
rockingout to some sweetrunes. 

While riding my bike through the 
bus loop yesterday. I encountered no 
fewer than five individuals who, for 
some, counter-evolutionary motivation, 
seemed to prefer being hit by a speeding 
cyclist than to take a few seconds away 
from <anye's new album and look both 
ways before crossing the street. 

I even went out and installed a shiny 
new bell on my nde this weekend for 
the expressed purpose of preserving 
the safety and well being of my follow 
pavement-dwellers—but alas, my 
efforts have fallen upon deaf ears. At 
least, deaf to the world as it happens 
anywhere outside the musical radius ol 
those irritatingly trendy white earbuds. 

I'm not sure if I'm more saddened by 
useless parents of these clueless won¬ 
ders. who apparently forgot to instill 
the importance of road safety in their 
crotch droppings at an early age, or 
the shit-mongers themselves, who not 
only provided me with an apt test of 
my brakes and navigational skills, but 
solidified my seething hatred for them 
with their looks of disdain, as if it’s my 
fault for clipping them. 

While you're lying in the sack, being 
beaten with bicycle tires. I hope you 
realize that you've no one but your¬ 
selves to blame. 


The Burlap Sack is a semi-regular 
feature where a person or group who 
needs to be put in a sack and beaten 
is ridiculed in print No sack beatings 
are actually administered.