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tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 

10 opinion _ 

Skinny jeans a poor fit for all 

When your pants are gripping you like an anaconda, you need to go up a size 



A s a person whose primary 
fashion choices in the morn¬ 
ing are based on cleanliness, 
I recognize that I’m probably not the 
most qualified person to be dolling 
out fashion advice. But I’m cultured 
enough to know that fads generally 
seem to follow a certain pattern. 
They catch on slowly, but gradually 
become so omnipresent you forget 
what it was even like before they 

As soon as people get used to the 
fad, there’s always those who take it 
one step too far. My current fashion 
gripe is with so-called skinny jeans. 
These ridiculous vice-like pants have 
got to go. 

For those who are completely 
unaware, skinny jeans are just a 
mutated, more stylized form of the 
same tapered-leg denim we used to 
make fun of our moms for wearing 
when we were in junior high and 
everyone knew flared leg pants were 
the shit. 

When I bought my first pair, I 
considered this irony. I mean, if it 
weren’t for the fact that the pants 
were low enough that even the most 
aggressive belt job could barely keep 
my ass crack from showing, I had 

essentially just bought myself an 
expensive pair of “mom jeans.” 

Another fact that blows my mind 
about the popularity of these pants is 
that they combine two design details— 
tight legs and low waists which are 
generally unflattering to anyone in the 
population having a weight in the 
triple digits. But I’m not here to pick 
on skinny people—I’m here to pick on 
stupid people. Low-rise and narrow- 
leg jeans can look good, provided you 
wear pants the correct size. However, 
this is often not the case. 

They turned around 
and I blushed when I 
realized it was actually 
a dude in those wacky 
trousers. It was a more 
thorough anatomy 
lesson than any biology 
class I’ve ever attended. 

I was on Whyte with a friend 
recently, enjoying one of the last days 
of summer. While walking, he pointed 
out a girl waiting at a bus stop wear¬ 
ing the most obscenely tight pants I’ve 
ever seen. 

They turned around and I blushed 
when I realized it was actually a dude 
in those wacky trousers. It was a more 
thorough anatomy lesson than any 
biology class I’ve ever attended. 

“One really does hang a little 

lower, hey?” I commented, and was 
promptly told that I was gross (which 
I am). 

Skinny jeans are especially trendy 
because they’re unisex—girls, boys, 
and those in between all seem to be 
obsessed with them. Now, I’m not 
so pretentious as to condemn a trend 
simply because it’s popular, and truth¬ 
fully, I actually like the style, but I can’t 
help but wonder why some people 
choose to wear them so tightly. 

On the whole, boys are by far the 
worst offenders. I can’t count the 
number of times I’ve been walking 
on Whyte or around campus and 
seen guys who I thought were girls 
walking like penguins because the 
pants they were wearing didn’t have 
the seam allowance to let them bend 
their knees properly. If you’re still 
unsure of whether or not your pants 
are too tight, here are a few simple 

Are they hand-me-ups from your 
twelve-year-old sister? Are you 
abusing your elevator privileges on 
campus because taking the stairs 
results in inevitable rippage? Did 
you drop your $200 Psych text and 
just leave it there because bending 
over seemed a more onerous task 
then just buying a new one? When 
you look at yourself in the mirror, 
can you count the freckles on your 
penis? Hey, guess what, your pants 
are too tight. 

Fashion is fluid, and I realize that 
this won’t last forever, but in the mean 
time, spare my virgin eyes and buy the 
next size up. 


MOOSE KNUCKLE Too-tight jeans show off more than you ever wanted to see. 

Go to the top 

Attend a scholarship workshop 
for tips on applying to SSHRC 


M Social Sciences and Humanities 

Research Council of Canada S6pt6 DIDST 21, 2007 

9:00-12:00 pm* 

Located in Council Chambers, 2-1 University Hall (south of SUB) 

*9:00-11:00 - graduate scholarship session 
*11:00-12:00 - postdoctoral fellowship session 

-Sponsored by the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research 

ff 7 2 ,- 



This edition of Great Moments 
in Photo History salutes Sir 
Isaac Newton, the man who 
invented light in 1704. The 
material was found to be a 
known carcinogen in large 
quantities, and was initially 
met with public resistance^*- 
but has since gone 
on to find its way 
into every American 
home. Applications 
in photography fol¬ 
lowed shortly there¬ 




O R , A 



I* I G H T. 




Curvilinear Figures. 

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1 — 1 

Come on up to the Gateway to learn how to put light to 
work for you. Meetings are Fridays at 4pm in 3-04 SUB. 


Acting as both a particle and a wave since 1910 

v / 


\ / 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII numbei 5 


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is a trademark of Microsoft Corporation in the United States and/or other countries. 

 ♦ tuesday, 18 September, 2007 

Scythe cuts into urban, rural stereotypes 

Dammitdance Theatre s latest production combines theatre, dance, and live music to highlight their story about a clash of cultures’ 



Runs 20-30 September 

Catalyst Theatre 

Written and Directed 

by Amber Borostik 

Starring Jesse Gervais, Amber 

Borostik , and Jason Carnew 

Tickets available at Tix on the Square 


Arts & Entertainment Staff 

For some, the idea of Alberta being 
a rural province where canola grows 
and cows roam is one to embrace. For 
others, it’s a stereotype to frown upon. 
Dammitdance Theatre’s latest play, 
Scythe , explores these two mindsets 
and ultimately celebrates the tradition 
of farm life. 

According to Amber Borotsik, who 
wrote, directed, and performs in the 
piece, Scythe follows the story of Sean 
(Jesse Gervais), who decides to leave 
his life in Vancouver—including his 
job and fiance—behind, to manage a 
farm he and his brother have inherited 
after their father’s passing. 

To Gervais, the conflict his char¬ 
acter experiences in moving from an 
urban setting to a rural one is one of 
the driving forces of the play. 

“Sean feels a strong connection 
to the land even though he lives in 
the city,” he explains. “I think that’s 
something that makes us human. 
Everyone has that connection. There 
are two lives, but you could still fall 
in love with both of them.” 

The connection may be a little 
difficult to find for those who never 
grew up with farming. Borotsik, 
however, hasn’t completely forgotten 

those who quickly turn their heads 
away at the mention of anything 

“I’ve seen [that attitude] a hun¬ 
dred times.” she exclaims. “That’s 
been our journey because the prairie 
drama is a bit tired, a bit boring, and 
a bit of a cliche. That’s why we try 
to take this old story about the farm 
that’s been around in Alberta for a 
while and deconstruct it and do some 
crazy new things with it to shed new 

These crazy new things include 
contemporary modern dance and 
music with eclectic influences. The 
play will have two acoustic musi¬ 
cians performing live using guitars, 
accordions, and harmonicas, as well 
as singing. One, Aaron Macri, is per¬ 
forming a live electronic soundscape, 
which is described by Borotsik as 
“electro-ambient.” Borotsik points 

out that the joining and clashing of 
urban, electro beats and folk accu¬ 
rately depicts Scythe itself, which is 
about “a clash of cultures.” 

Cultural differences are also 
reflected by the other characters 
in the play. Sean’s brother Chris 
(Jason Carnew) wants to sell the 
farm and split the money. Chris’ 
girlfriend Emily (Linda Turnbull) is 
also itching to get out of the small 
town she’s in. Interestingly enough, 
these characters mirror the anti- 
rural sentiment towards the Prairies 
along with the sentiment some 
people have towards the cities they 
live in. 

“This guy a couple of years ago—I 
think he was one of the guys from Kids 
in the Hall —came with us to a show 
called Slightly Bigger Cities ,” Borotsik 
recalls. “The premise is, wherever 
you are, you always want to move to 

a slightly bigger city—even if you’re 
in Montreal, you want to go to New 

“And if you’re in New York, you 
want to move to Tokyo or London.” 
Gervais adds, with just a hint of 

Such dissatisfaction can be seen in 
the farming industry. With the cur¬ 
rent oil boom, it has left behind the 
troubles BSE started. But now, farms 
have become so grand and costly that 
small farmers are opting out of a risky 
business that relies heavily on Mother 
Nature, and instead moving to the 
concrete jungle of an urban centre. 
While Scythe portrays farming in a 
positive light, the negative isn’t com¬ 
pletely dimmed. 

“It’s a love-hate relationship,” says 
Gervais about farm life. “It’s some¬ 
thing that sets you free and holds you 
back at the same time.” 

The Wet Secrets a messy affair 


DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL The Secrets want to teach you about self-tea bagging. 


The Wet Secrets 

with Bend Sinister and the Clips 
20 September at 8pm 
Starlite Room 


Arts & Entertainment Writer 

Whispers of The Wet Secrets are get¬ 
ting louder. Two and a half years after 
creating the band seven days before 
its debut concert, Trevor Anderson 
and Lyle Bell are back together with 
a new keyboard player, and they’re 
firing back up their band—one 
Anderson once thought of as just a 
“flash in the pan.” 

So, Bell, from Whitey Houston and 
the Juno-nominated Shout Out Out 
Out Out, and Anderson, who also plays 
in the Vertical Struts, are back making 
what Anderson calls “folky, campy 
jungle-circus rock from space.” 

Back in February 2005, Anderson 
and Bell really wanted to play 
together, but they didn’t have much 
time. As a challenge to themselves, 
and as a way of placating their busy 
schedules, they decided to go from 

first rehearsal to stage debut in a 

“We thought it would be a one- 
week experiment and that would be 
it, but it was more fun than we antici¬ 
pated, and people liked it,” Anderson 

“They’re simple, catchy, 
hopefully pop songs 
that will make people 
dance. We had to 
write them catchy so 
we could remember 
them in the first days— 
because we only had a 



That people liked the songs 
shouldn’t be a surprise. The Wet 
Secrets runs a strong beat, with clear 
vocals and big band instruments. But 
their sound is a far cry from your 
high school band: timpani, trom¬ 
bone, tuba and trumpet blend in 

with guitar, synthesizer and drums 
to create an imposing and exciting 
sound that is designed to stick in 
people’s minds with very little expo¬ 

“They’re simple, catchy, hopefully 
pop songs that will make people 
dance. We had to write them catchy 
so we could remember them in the 
first days—because we only had a 
week,” Anderson says. 

“We write the gang vocal cho¬ 
ruses, where people can shout along 
and pump their fists—hopefully it’s 

With song titles like “Hep A 
Birthday,” “Get Your Own Fucking 
Moustache, Asshole,” and the ques¬ 
tionable but indeniably catchy “I 
Teabagged Myself,” it’s obvious that 
the guys from the Wet Secrets don’t 
blush easily. But Anderson might 
laugh if you do. 

“We certainly have a lewd sense 
of humour; that comes out of our 
songs, but it’s an innocent kind of 
lewd. We want to be titillating but 
not raunchy,” he notes. “ [In concert] 
people are usually drunk and thrilled 
by that.” 

They don’t think a few naughty 
lyrics will turn listeners off of their 

music. Instead, the band tries to 
write lyrics that will draw a laugh 
out of their audience. 

“It was only when we went to 
put [our songs] on the radio that we 
realised that everything but two of 
them had the F-bomb in them. We 
sure don’t think ahead,” Anderson 

Despite this seemingly nonchalant 
attitude toward their work, they’re 
finally getting their act together. 
Their next album—to be written, 
created, and recorded in more than 

a week—is currently being mastered 
and is expected for release before the 
end of the year. Anderson hopes that 
the Wet Secrets will have a long-term 
future in the industry—Of course, 
they’ll be hard not to notice as they 
parade around on stage in signature 
red marching uniforms. 

“We have always had a fantasy of 
being a rock & roll marching band,” 
Anderson jokes. “I would love to get 
us marching around rural Alberta, 
unannounced, pulling generators and 
amps in a red wagon.” 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII numbei 5 


Busy World has too many answers 


The Busy World Is Hushed 

Runs until 30 September 
Northern Lights Theare 
Directed by Skye Brandon 
Starring Trevor Schmidt , Farron 
Timoteo and Holly Turner 


Arts & Entertainment Staff 

Northern Light Theatre’s produc¬ 
tion of The Busy World is Hushed is 
a powerful piece about religion and 
love amongst family members, but 
despite some quality performances, 
the production is tainted with ques¬ 
tionable decisions that leave the 
impression that neither the perform¬ 
ers nor the audience is being given 
credit to fully appreciate the material 
at hand. 

Hannah (Holly Turner) is an 
Episcopalian scholar studying an 
early gospel, who hires Brandt 
(Trevor Schmidt) to be her ghost¬ 
writer and assistant. Brandt is a gay 
agnostic, stressed due to a serious ill¬ 
ness in his family, and as a result, he’s 
very frightened. All of these quali¬ 
ties endear Brandt to Hannah, possi¬ 
bly because of his similarities to her 
combative, skeptical drifter of a son, 
Thomas (FarronTimoteo). 

As their professional and personal 
relationship grows, Hannah sees 
an opportunity to bring Brandt and 
Thomas together for both Thomas’ 
sake and her own. She’s correct: as 
Brandt and Thomas become involved 
with each other, Thomas becomes 
more determined to understand his 
mother’s life work and how it created 
a gulf between them. 

Keith Bunin’s play first appeared 
off-broadway in 2006, and makes its 
Canadian debut with this production. 
The script is sharp, personal, and 
rife with questions without simple 

The chemistry between the actors 
is authentic and emotional. Turner 
strikes a perfect balance between 
worried mother and determined 
scholar. The play makes a point of 
remaining unsympathetic to any 
one of these characters, but it’s diffi¬ 
cult not to become enamoured with 

Hannah—she’s smart and challeng¬ 
ing as a scholar, but is teeming with 
the frustrating, lovable quirks that 
mothers have. 

Thomas is never without a ques¬ 
tion or a quarrel for his mother, 
and she handles them all with grace 
and aplomb. Brandt is a trainwreck 
of a character, and Schmidt lets the 
audience into his agonizing, chaotic 
world at just the right moments. In 
the more emotional scenes Thomas 
and Brandt fall victim to the occa¬ 
sional bout of overacting, but over¬ 
all, give quality performances. 

Director Skye Brandon uses the 
appropriate pacing and tone, but 
unfortunatley adds a number of emo¬ 
tional overtures that greatly detract 
from the play. Peppered throughout 
with emotional high points, Bunin’s 
script carries no small amount of 
emotional anguish, and unfortu¬ 
nately, the addition of music at cer¬ 
tain points only serves to nudge 

these exchanges into the melodra¬ 
matic realm. Not confined merely to 
musical selection, this problem also 
invades the acting at different points 
of The Busy World is Hushed. In a 
production that carries such weight, 
less is more, and the overwrought 
pauses and emphatic turns only serve 
as a distraction to the heady material 
on stage. 

There is a lot to like about The 
Busy World is Hushed; Roy Jackson’s 
lighting is perfect and the set design 
(Schmidt pulls double-duty) is 
warm and beautifully detailed, per¬ 
fectly underscoring Hannah’s role as 
both a scholar and a woman of God. 
However, it seems like Brandon 
lacks confidence in either the mate¬ 
rial or his actors, and bogs the play 
down with one unnecessary touch 
or another. With the space in which 
to ponder Bunin’s probing ques¬ 
tions already filled in, the produc¬ 
tion suffers. 

Meetings are Thursdays at 5. 


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HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS J uno-winning Hip-hopper K-os shook his dreads at the Starlite Room on Sunday night. 


tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 

Hunting Party captures one great performance, little else 


The Hunting Party 

Now Playing 

Written and Directed by Richard 

Starring Richard Gere and Jesse 


Arts & Entertainment Staff 

Some stories are so utterly spectacu¬ 
lar and brilliant that they need to be 
told on the big screen —The Hunting 
Party should be one of them. But for 
some bizarre reason, director/writer 
Richard Shepard has managed to 
turn a fascinating, true tale of jour¬ 
nalistic mishaps into a steaming pile 
of feces. 

The movie is based on the story 
of journalist Scott Anderson and his 
intrepid band of nostalgic journalists 
that decide to go looking for the infa¬ 
mous Serbian war criminal Radovan 
“The Fox” Karadzic. Unexpectedly, 
their halfhearted attempts to find 
Karadzic result in people thinking 
they are a CIA hit squad, and set in 
motion a series of bizarre events that 
led to NATO and American security 
officials becoming involved. 

But in Shepard’s eyes, such a his¬ 
torically accurate story wasn’t good 
enough for the silver screen, and he 
attempted to make it extreme. Instead 
of focusing The Hunting Party on its 
natural protagonist, Scott Anderson, 
Shepard created an entirely ficti¬ 
tious journalist named Simon Hunt 
(Richard Gere)—one of the greatest 

war correspondents in the world who 
eventually cracks from the pressure 
and disappears, only to re-emerge 
at the beginning of the movie. But, 
since being an insane and discredited 
journalist isn’t extreme enough, Hunt 
also had the mother of his unborn 
child killed by none other than 

Despite this convoluted excuse for 
a character, Richard Gere manages to 
mold this into one of his better per¬ 
formances. In a fantastic display, he 
actually makes Hunt’s search for The 

Fox convincing and dealing with his 
own emotional confusion believable. 
However, Richard Shepard apparently 
would have none of that, and engi¬ 
neered the film to obfuscate Gere’s 
excellent performance with a series of 
Hollywood cliches. 

Despite being the film’s biggest 
star, Shepard relegates Gere to cameo 
status for half of the movie. Instead 
of Gere, the movie is filled with 
inconsequential characters such as a 
whiny and idealistic journalist (Jesse 
Eisenberg); a veteran cameraman 

(Terrence Howard) who’s addicted 
to war; and a busty, bikini-clad girl¬ 
friend (Diane Kruger) vacationing in 

Maybe Shepard was attempting to 
inject sex appeal and some humour 
into the movie, but he ended up 
creating a film that’s really a double¬ 
feature: one starring Gere in a fasci¬ 
nating story of a broken man dealing 
with conflicting emotional and ethi¬ 
cal forces, and another following a 
merry team of thrown-togethers and 
the wacky hijinks that occur. 

This split-identity is the central prob¬ 
lem of the film. Richard Shepard took 
a factual story that examined relevant 
issues such as the nature of journalism, 
and instead turned it into Harold and 
Kumar go to Bosnia. But even if Shepard 
was banking on an audience looking 
for a feel good comedy, he decided 
to alienate them by keeping several 
graphic and emotionally charged war 
scenes. As a result, Shepard took a com¬ 
bination of great acting and an excel¬ 
lent premise to create a movie no one 
could possibly enjoy. 

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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume xcvill number 5 




Progeny Blues 
Copperspine Records 


Arts & Entertainment Writer 

Progeny Blues is Portico’s second 
musical offering, following 2005’s 
Shape to Form. While Progeny Blues 
isn’t as initially arresting as their pre¬ 
vious release, it does get better after a 
few extra spins. 

“Two Killers” is one of the catchier 
songs on the album, with jingling gui¬ 
tars and an interesting vocal cadence 
making it the album’s standout track. 
It’s a very accessible song about the 

difficulty of speaking honestly in 
relationships, with lead vocalist Lyn 
Heineman sounding like a huskier- 
than-normal girl group. “High Walls” 
is equally engaging, with stronger 
and more assertive vocals, cheerier 
guitar lines, and percussion-driven 
rhythms. “The New Wild” even 
takes Portico’s sound in a completely 
different direction, showcasing a 
down-tempo, Kathleen Edwards-style 

country sweetness. 

The one weakness of Progeny Blues 
is that the majority of songs don’t take 
advantage of the varied instrumenta¬ 
tion Portico is capable of. “Sincerely” 
is an exception, having a rich, orches¬ 
tral sound—including a tuba and a 
baritone—which compensates for its 
overly earnest payback-themed lyrics. 

“All Your Daughters” is the most 
lyrically mature track, with Heineman 
singing convincingly about familial 
discord and disappointment. While it 
starts off slow and has a long instru¬ 
mental break, the sound swells majes¬ 
tically at the end with a choir full of 
airy, girlish voices. 

Overall, Progeny Blues is a strong 
sophomore effort, with varied instru¬ 
mentation and quality vocals—all it 
lacks is the immediate grip of Shape 
to Form. 

Arts & Entertainment Writer 


Hunter Valentine 

The Impatient Romantic 
High Romance Music 

Hailing from Toronto, Hunter 
Valentine dares you to fall in love 
with them. Their MySpace page states 
that the band have a James Dean- 
esque kind of power that makes 
people fall in love with you, but 
where you’re too busy being beauti¬ 
ful and oblivious to care. However, 
on their debut album The Impatient 
Romantic , Dean’s sexy pull isn’t as 
self-evident as the band would like 
it to be. 

Certainly, these three girls are 
quite beautiful—the cd cover shows 
them all dressed in black, bangs all 
swept fashionably to the same side. 
Hunter Valentine is a queer band 

with a sizable following in Toronto, 
and people will surely compare them 
to Tegan and Sara. But these bands 
are fundamentally different, and 
Hunter Valentine provides a fuller 
rock sound than Tegan and Sara 
through their use of keyboards and 
bass. Also adding to the rich sound 
palette is Kiyomi McCloskey’s tech¬ 
nically accomplished voice—unlike 
Tegan and Sara, she can sing in tune 
and with soul. 

Some of the songs tend to drift 
into pop-punk mediocrity, and the 
album generally lacks bursts of cre¬ 
ative energy and originality that one 
expects when listening to a new band. 

The songs mostly stick to the same 
tempo with the same standard and 
predictable chord changes. 

The lyrics are of a girl-loves-girl 
variety, but they don’t seem to delve 
very far past surface-level lyrics. 
When compared to a gay icon like 
Rufus Wainwright, Hunter Valentine 
have nothing new or revealing to say 
about homosexual love—or any kind 
of love for that matter. The title of 
the album suggests that perhaps the 
band is at least partially aware of its 
own flaw—these girls just seem too 
immature to be writing about love 
and relationships. 

One can’t forget how new this 
act is, however. With only this first 
album under their belt, Hunter 
Valentine has plenty of places to 
grow musically. If these girls had 
a chance to mature both musi¬ 
cally and artistically, they could be 
a formidable force. The Impatient 
Romantic shows that they have 
the raw talent to back themselves 
up—now they just need the refined 


Manchester Orchestra 

I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child 
Favourite Gentlemen 


Arts & Entertainment Writer 

You’d think that if a band was called 
the Manchester Orchestra, they 
would either be from Manchester, or, 
at the very least be an orchestra. But 
the Manchester Orchestra is neither. 
Despite their obvious shortcomings, 
however, their debut album, Tm Like 
a Virgin Losing a Child, showcases 
the young band’s energetic lust for 
falsetto vocals and stinging guitar 

The Manchester Orchestra—whose 

average age is a tender 19—have only 
been around for about a year and a 
half, but have already toured with such 
greats as The Flaming Lips, Wilco, and 
Built to Spill. 

Their debut, while not perfect, 
does contain many diverse and 
often catchy songs. The open¬ 
ing track, “Wolves at Night,” sets 
the limelight on lead man Andy 
Hull’s full vocal range and matu¬ 
rity, a feat accentuated by the fact 

that he’s barely out of high school. 
Thankfully, the rest of the album 
flows smoothly off of the resonance 
that “Wolves” creates. 

Unfortunately, the album starts 
to lose momentum during songs 
like “I Can Feel Your Pain,” and “I 
Can Barely Breathe.” If the intent of 
these songs is to be emotional and 
deep, they have failed—miserably; 
they sound melodramatic and self- 
indulgent. But back on the bright 
side, the MO’s debut does have 
many tracks their achieve their 
intended purpose, such as “Colly 
Strings,” the perfect six-minute 
cathartic closer. 

The Manchester Orchestra has a 
few problems, but Tm Like a Virgin 
Losing a Child is engaging enough 
to deserve at least a MySpace hit. Not 
bad for a band from Manchester—by 
way of Atlanta, Georgia, that is. 

/vfni ffflFAlAfAUA three minute mark. But despite this, 

L L L the album is fun, enjoyable, and even 

The Riff Randells a little bubbly at times. 

Doublecross Teenybopper songs like “Traitor of 

Dirtnap Records the Heart” and “The Only One” may 

seem immature to some, but you can 
tell the Riff Randells were singing with 
smiles on their faces and basking in 
every second of each song. Even the 
whiny “When You Go” and the jarring 
title track don’t get annoying, provid- 
Regardless of hether or not you’ve music scene to sit up and take notice. ing some contrast to the rest of the 

heard of them, the Riff Randells are not The album is filled with catchy, sickly sweet album, 

a fresh new band; in fact, the girls have upbeat tunes—the band has clearly The Riff Randells may be flying under 

been performing together since they honed their pop-punk sound over the the radar for now—and have been, for 

debuted in Vancouver back in 1999. past eight years. Though a full, eleven- almost a decade—but that will inevita- 

They’ve toured Canada, the United track album—with ten original Riff bly change once Douhlecross starts cir- 

States, and Japan, and released mul- Randell tracks and a cover of Little culating to a large audience. Do yourself 

tiple singles across the globe. However, Girls’ “Bandana”— Doublecross clocks a favour and grab it early, so you can say 

Doublecross marks their first full-length in at just under twenty-five minutes, you were there before the fame, for- 

album, and that gives reason for the with no songs stretching past the tunes, and drugs tore them apart. 


Alumni Advantage Scholarship $2500 


TD Meloche Monnex Leadership 
Scholarship $1000 

The University of Alberta Alumni Association is awarding two 
$2500 scholarships (one undergraduate and one graduate) 
and one $1000 scholarship (open to only undergraduate stu¬ 
dents). To be eligible to apply for these scholarships you must: 

1) Be a full-time continuing student at the University of 

2) For the Alumni Advantage Scholarship show proof 
of high academic achievement (GPA of 3.5 or 80% 
or higher); 

For the TD Meloche Monnex Scholarship show 
proof of satisfactory academic achievement (GPA of 
2.0 or 50% or higher); 

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or a daughter, son, granddaughter, or grandson of 
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Deadline for receipt of applications is OCTOBER 31,2007 


September 28 to October 6, 2007 

Are you up for it? First, 
up and get rested - 24/One 
the festival, September 29, at 
The top 10 films get a WORLD 
Edmonton International Film Festival 
October 6. The Film that wins the 
Choice Award receives $500 in cold, 
of admiration. C'mon. You can do it! 








★ Heinekeri THE GATEWAY 

/obey / 

$r\ Foundatior 

for the Arts 

f me30 


 ♦ tuesday, 18 September, 2007 


Pandas, turf gang up against UBC field hockey 

Unfamiliar field conditions and an energetic Alberta team kept the defending national champions to a weekend split at Foote Field 


WHAT, NO SKATES? Alberta midfielder Erin Mason (left) does her best to keep the ball away from UBC on Sunday. 


Sports Editor 

In most sports, having the home field 
advantage manifests itself as a mental 
edge stemming from a friendly crowd, 
a good night’s sleep, and familiar 
locker rooms. In the case of the Pandas 
field hockey team this weekend, how¬ 
ever, it was the field itself that made 
a difference, discomfiting their oppo¬ 
nent and helping them earn a week¬ 
end split against a powerhouse from 

The Alberta took on the defend¬ 
ing national champion Thunderbirds 
at Foote Field on the weekend, win¬ 
ning 2—1 on Saturday but dropping 
Sunday’s game 1—0. 

Unlike the other teams in their 
conference, the Pandas play on a con¬ 
verted football field rather than a des¬ 
ignated field hockey surface, and the 
difference between the two types of 
artificial turf can have a huge effect on 
the game. 

T-Birds head coach Hash Kanjee 
was blunt in his assessment of the 
field conditions, and admitted that 
the unfamiliar surface affected his 
team’s play. 

“It takes away the skill element of 
the game, for both sides,” he said. “It’s 
slower, and the ball bounces all over 
the place. 

“Saturday, one of the things that was 
frustrating for me was that this field 
doesn’t lend itself to some of the skills 
we practice at home, and it’s slower, so 
we didn’t get to do some of the things 
that we do on a regular basis. I think 
we’re going to have to practice on it a 

few times before we meet the Pandas 

Though Kanjee wasn’t too happy 
about how the weekend turned out, 
the Pandas were pleased they could 
manage a win on Saturday, even if 
Sunday’s result was less satisfactory. 
The team is fairly young—nearly half 
of this year’s players are in their first 
year—while the T-Birds are returning 
with all but a handful of their cham¬ 
pionship-winning side. 

“I told someone at the beginning 
of the weekend: if we could get split 
against UBC, we would be happy,” 
Alberta head coach Carla Duncan said. 
“I think when we look back at this 
tomorrow, having a split against the top 
team in the country—and by far, they 
will be the top team in the country 
again—we’re happy. Were ecstatic.” 

For all Duncan’s fervor, she recog¬ 
nized the holes in her team’s perfor¬ 
mances, especially during Sunday’s 

“ [Saturday] we were much sharper. 
We were technically much better and 
tactically a little more disciplined. We 
were patient, and we took advantage 
of our opportunities when we got 
them,” Duncan said. “[Sunday], we 
went a little bit individual. We’re really 
a passing team, but we started to carry 
the ball, and we turned the ball over in 

On Saturday, the Pandas came back 
from a 1—0 deficit in the first half, 
potting two in the UBC net in the 
second—the first goal from forward 
Jennifer Zwicker, and the second off 
a short corner by defender Stephanie 

On Sunday, however, they couldn’t 
pull off the same sort of energy after 
the break, and weren’t able to regroup 
after Thunderbird Elisa Milosevich’s 
goal in the 49th minute. 

“Today they just put us under more 
pressure,” Duncan said after Sunday’s 
game. “With their constant pressure, 
we struggled to get the ball out of the 
backfield. They have some very expe¬ 
rienced players and some very skilled 
players; we have to give credit where 
credit’s due.” 

Kanjee said he felt that the win was 

a matter of wearing Alberta down in 
the second half rather than a surge 
from his side. 

“I think it’s more a question of 
their falling apart, just like we did on 
Saturday,” he said. “I thought, after 
the goal that Alberta got, that we 
went really quiet ,and they just gained 
momentum; whereas, today we sort 
of stepped up, and Alberta got quiet.” 

In addition to Zwicker and Madsen, 
Alberta leaned on fourth-year mid¬ 
fielder Erin Mason, who was a second- 
team All-Canadian last year. 

“We relied heavily on Erin, and we 
can’t afford to do that,” Duncan said. 
“ [She’s] a fantastic player, but she can’t 
do it all. As a whole, we need to step 
up and be a little bit better.” 

Kanjee praised Mason too, and said 
that her presence on the field was a def¬ 
inite source of concern for his team. 

“We were looking out for Erin,” he 
said. “She’s a very, very tough little 
hockey player, and she will give any 
team, either in Canada West or CIS, a 
lot of trouble. She’s very talented.” 


LEARNING TO WALK Rookie defensive back Rhys Coppens, who grew up 
watching the Bears play football, is now trying to help them make the playoffs. 

Pressure makes diamonds for new Bear 

Sports Writer 

For the average first-year student 
coming straight out of high school, 
the pressure of university classes, 
homework, and studying can be 
incredibly daunting. Rookie defen¬ 
sive back Rhys Coppens, however, is 
not your average first-year—he also 
has the uncertain future of this year’s 
Golden Bears football team to worry 

The pressure stems from the fact 
that after the Bears’ disappointing 
playoff miss last year, considerable 
attention is being directed towards 
the team’s defence this season, which 
boasts four new starters, including 
Coppens. He doesn’t seem overly 
worried about being under the 
microscope, though. 

“It’s kind of nice having the atten¬ 
tion on us,” he says. “Especially 
throughout the week and before 
a game, most of the view is on the 
secondary just because we’re so 

Bears head coach Jerry Friesen is 
pleased with the way Coppens has 
been handling everything. He said 
that Coppens has a positive attitude 
towards the attention the whole 
team—and the defense in particu¬ 
lar—are getting. 

“[He’s] competitive, and competi¬ 
tive players enjoy the challenges that 
they have in front of them,” he said. 

“He’s rising to the challenges.” 

That competitive spirit has already 
led Coppens, a recent graduate of 
St Francis Xavier high school, to 
considerable success on the field. 
He spent part of his summer help¬ 
ing Team Alberta win a gold medal 
in the 2007 Football Canada Cup 
in Sherbrooke, Quebec, where he 
was named Defensive Player of the 

Coppens has already begun to prove 
himself as an important addition to 
the Bears’ secondary. In his first start 
of the season, he earned himself a 
game-high 13 tackles during a 24—22 
loss to the University of Regina Rams. 
Friesen credits Coppens’ success on 
the football field primarily to his 

“He’s a very good athlete all- 
around,” says the Alberta bench 

Coppens is also hoping to use his 
athleticism this season to help the 
Bears out on special teams. In the 
first three games of the season, he has 
returned six kick-offs for an average 
of 24.7 yards per carry. 

An Edmonton native, Coppens 
grew up watching U of A football 
and is comfortable knowing that he 
has friends and family in the seats at 
home games. 

“I like the attention,” he says. “It’s 
pretty comforting having people in 
the stands no matter what, cheering 
for you.” 

So far, it seems that the Golden 
Bears coaching staff has been suc¬ 
cessful in transitioning him from a 
high-school athlete into a university 
football player. 

“They’re really good at explaining 
what to do,” Coppens says. “As a new 
guy coming in, [Friesen] has been 
really helpful.” 

When it comes to fellow players, 
Coppens names veteran defensive 
back Scott Stevenson, who is in his 
last year of CIS eligibility, as a huge 
influence on the field. 

“ [Stevenson]’s really good at help¬ 
ing you out. He knows the game 
really well,” he says. “If I have any 
questions, I go to him.” 

Encouragement from fellow team¬ 
mates extends off the field to other 
aspects of Coppens’ first-year univer¬ 
sity student life as well, he says. 

“I’m not necessarily in a lot of their 
classes, but they give you pointers. 
If they catch you hanging around 
SUB too much, they’ll tell you to go 

With the outcome of this season 
looking as cloudy as ever, the Bears 
can at least feel confident in the fact 
that Coppens has the potential to be 
an important team leader, even in the 
near future. 

“As he develops into a more mature 
football player, he’ll become a leader,” 
Friesen says. “His skill level out on 
the field is of leadership value to us 
right now.” 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 5 


Apply On-line! 

Ontario Medical School Application Service 

September 15, 2007: Last day to register for 
on-line applications 

October 1, 2007: Application deadline OLSAS 

Ontario Law School Application Service 
November 1, 2007: Application deadline - First year 
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November 30, 2007: Application deadline 


DON’T JUST STAND THERE Alberta midfielder Junior Castrillon-Rendon was a key to the Bears' win over Calgary. 

Bears need most senior Junior to lead 

Sports Staff 

When the reality set in that only a 
handful of last year’s champion¬ 
ship roster would be returning for 
the 2007/08 campaign, the U of 
A men’s soccer coaching staff had 
to have been a little worried about 

After his last season, the coach¬ 
ing staff has high expectations of 
Castrillon-Rendon. His seven goals 
in 2006 put him among the top goal- 
scorers in the country; offensive 
contribution will have to be a staple 
of his gameplay. 

“We need all his strengths to come 

that it adds a certain new dimension 
to his role as a player. 

“There is pressure, and it’s not 
necessarily bad pressure, but you do 
feel responsible for the younger guys 
because you want them to get up to 
speed and do it as quickly as pos¬ 
sible,” Castrillon-Rendon admits. 

“So the main thing is that you ORPAS 

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Application Service 

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January 15, 2008: Application deadline " 



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Guelph ON NIG 5E2 

what the coming season held for 
them. Luckily, however, at least part 
of that fear must have been alleviated 
by the fact that Canada West Player 
of the Year Junior Castrillon-Rendon 
wouldn’t be one of those departing. 

With a wealth of experience at the 
college and international levels— 
including two years spent abroad 
playing soccer in Germany, and a 
recent appearance for Team Canada 
at the 2007 Universiade Games in 
Bangkok—the highly skilled mid¬ 
fielder will be heavily relied upon 
this season. The young, inexperi¬ 
enced team will especially need him 
for his skills and knowledge as the 
try to improve on their 2—2 record. 

“Junior is probably one of the 
most technically proficient players 
in Canada West,” Bears head coach 
Len Vickery says. “He helped the 
team tremendously in the absence 
of another great soccer player last 
year, Mark Korthuis—who struggled 
for the most part during the season 
with a groin problem—and a lot is 
expected of him in terms of helping a 
fairly new squad that replaced, for one 
reason or another, twelve players.” 



by Robin Collum 

Footballers blow 18-point lead 

The Bears were able to score some 
first-quarter points for the first time this 
season on Saturday, but it didn't help 
them pull out a win against the UBC 
Thunderbirds (2-1) in Vancouver. 

Leading 18-0 at the half and 23-10 
at the end of three, the Bears (0-3) let 
allowed two T-Birds touchdowns and 

“Junior is probably 
one of the most 
technically proficient 
players in Canada 



to the forefront, and that necessitates 
us getting him the ball in areas where 
he can do a little bit of damage offen¬ 
sively,” Vickery explained. “He’ll 
play the more attacking role in the 
midfield, hopefully with a view to 
get in forward and help them with 
the goals. 

“We’ve got basically an inexperi¬ 
enced group in those other forward 
positions. We need his influence 
high in the midfield—not the least 
of which is his passing ability—and 
also his leadership.” 

While the pressure to be a leader 
and to contribute may seem enor¬ 
mous for the third-year athlete, he 
welcomes the challenge and feels 

lost 24-23. The Bears points came from a 
Duncan Hankinson touchdown, fourfield 
goals from Hugh O'Neill—the longest of 
which was 43 yards—and two safeties. 

Soccer boys maul 'Horns, Dinos ... 

The soccer Bears were on the road this 
weekend, travelling down to southern 
Alberta for one match each against the 
Lethbridge Pronghorns and the Calgary 

Alberta (2-2) swept the weekend, 
earning a 4-3 victory against the 'Horns 
(1-2-1) on Saturday and a 2-1 win over 
Calgary (0-2) on Sunday. The Bears got 
three goals out of Manav Deol and one 

really want them to understand what 
it takes to play at this level. You do 
whatever you can to help them out, 
and hopefully they pick it up quick.” 

Castrillon-Rendon believes that 
the best way he can help the new 
guys get accustomed to the system, 
the team, and the pace of the game 
is by letting his play do the talking. 
And while the typically easy-going 
individual jokes that the he can 
become pretty animated when either 
he or the team not performing up to 
standard, he hopes that the positives 
that he brings to the team will ulti¬ 
mately be what rubs off on the young 
players around him. 

“I just do what I do—you know, 
I try and lead by example as much 
as possible, and hopefully the other 
guys can take from that lead,” he 
explained. “I try to explain to them 
as much as I can when things are 
going wrong. 

“I tend to scream every once in a 
while, but most of the time you hope 
that the guys can pick up on what you 
do as a player, and then just go from 
there. That’s usually, in my opinion, 
the best way to do things.” 

from Brett Colvin against Lethbridge, 
while the Dinos were beaten by goals 
from Junior Castrillon-Rendon and John 

... But the Pandas were gored 

The soccer women followed the same 
route as the men this weekend, but 
weren't able to procure as favourable 
an outcome. The Pandas are now 1-3 
for the season so far after losing to both 
Lethbridge (1-1-2) and Calgary (2-0). 

Saturday saw them go down 3-1, with 
their lone goal comingfrom Lisa Jennings. 
On Sunday they were shut out altogether 
as the Dinos put up a 1-0 victory. 




29 , 2007 , 7:30 
















tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 

Loose lips sell new shirts 
for lucky NHL marketers 

It was an accident, but Reebok and E A Sports did the league a 
favour by leaking the new jersey designs and got people talking 





S poiler alert: it’s damn near impossible to 
keep anything secret from the public these 

But, hey, you already knew that—you prob¬ 
ably found it out on an online message board 
dedicated to the art of keeping secrets long 
before I had it printed at the beginning of this 

Such is the nature of the beast in the age of 
the Interwebs, where the most-anticipated new 
albums are peer-to-peer-distributed months 
before their release; shocking endings to televi¬ 
sion programs are revealed long before the shock 
can even apply itself, let alone set in; and, as 
several NHL clubs found out this past Thursday, 
new jersey designs are leaked to the public due to 
the slightest fuck-up by the company manufac¬ 
turing them, Reebok. 

However, unlike the other examples—which 
result in torrent after torrent of free albums 
and a drop-off in viewership, respectively, in 
turn leading to some form of profit loss—the 
NHL can only stand to benefit from this little 

Over the past several months, close to two 
thirds of the NHL’s franchises have successfully 
revealed their new jerseys in accordance with 
the release dates they had each set for them¬ 
selves. While there were rumors and crude— 
nay, God-awful—mock-ups circulating around 
as to what each jersey would look like, those 
that came out prior to last Thursday seemed to 
do so without incident, and even got the appro¬ 
priate press conferences to finally show them to 
fans longing for all that overpriced, form-fitted 

However, the jerseys that had yet to be seen 
by anyone other than their makers were pre¬ 
ceded last Tuesday by the release of EA Sports’ 
NHL 08. In order to keep the game current and 
not disappoint the legions of hockey fans need¬ 
ing their yearly virtual-reality fix, EA imple¬ 
mented a code system solely into the PS3, XBOX 
360, and Wii versions of the game—a smart 

move, considering someone would’ve likely 
hacked the files of a PC version within an hour 
of release—that would unlock each RBK Edge 
jersey for all 30 teams. 

This code was supposed to be released at the 
beginning of the NHL season, after all of the new 
outfits had been seen. Instead, two days after the 
release of the game—with many of the uni¬ 
forms still days away from being introduced— 
RBK accidentally put the code on their website 
for a brief moment—which, as we all know, is 
just long enough for the thousands sitting at their 
computers all day waiting for the Internet 
to act up to spot the code and go posting it 

While I’m certain that a few team presi¬ 
dents and a number of guys in RBK’s research 
and development are probably a little irked 
right now at the fact that their surprise party 
was gatecrashed by a gang of internet delin¬ 
quents, it’s best to look at this from a positive 

With the number of people clamouring over 
the summer to find out whether the Original Six 
teams would go against the grain and adopt ver¬ 
tical stripes, whether the Canucks sweater would 
actually have a wordmark on it that stuck out like 
a sore thumb, or whatever else they desired to 
know, the new RBK Edge jerseys—regardless of 
whether they were exposed a little bit early or 
not—are fresh in the minds of the hockey fan 
and are being heavily discussed in hockey circles. 
I may not be much with marketing, but I can 
only imagine that this is what the NHL wanted 

They took a product idea that a lot of 
people were, and still are, skeptical about, 
and through smoke, mirrors, and a hell of a 
lot of teaser pictures, made the topic of the 
new jerseys the hot-button conversation of 
the moment—even giving the usual summer 
discussion-fest that is the unrestricted free- 
agency period a run for its money. And 
while it will probably take a few years for 
traditionalists like myself to get used to the close 
fits, half-stripes, vertical piping, and sheer ugli¬ 
ness of some of the designs—like the New York 
Islanders’ new shirts, for instance—I can still give 
the NHL and Reebok marketing departments the 
rare thumbs-up for getting people enthusiastic 
over the prospects of a new jersey. 

Now if only they could make them a little 
more affordable. 



POP AND LOCK IT Pandas midfielder Lyndsay Stewart fights for the ball with one of the University 
of Calgary Dinos during Sunday's away game. The Pandas lost the closely-fought game 1 -0. 

The 19th Annual 

McDonald lecture 

Free & Open to the Public 

The Future of 
International Justice 

Richard J. Goldstone 

Justice of the Constitutional Court of South Africa (Ret.), 
Former Chief Prosecutor, UN International Criminal Tribunals 
for the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda 

Thursday, September 27, 2007 

5:00 p.m. 

231/237 Law Centre 
University of Alberta 

Reception to follow 

RSVP by Sept. 21 to:, 492-5681 

Centre for Constitutional Studies 
Centre d’etudes constitutionnelles 

The McDonald lecture is organized by the Centre for Constitutional Studies 
in memory of Justice David C. McDonald. The Centre carries on its activities 
thanks to the financial support of the Alberta Law Foundation. 

University of Ottawa 

Study LAW at uOttawa's 
Faculty of Law 

and you can earn these powerful joint degrees*: 

• LLB/MBA (with uOttawa's Telfer School of Management) 

• LLB/JD (with Michigan State University College of Law 
or American University Washington College of Law) 

• LLB/MA (with Carleton University's Norman Paterson 
School of International Affairs) 

• LLB/LLL (Programme de droit canadien with uOttawa's 
Civil Law Section) 

* You may also be eligible for financial aid through the 

ffi u Ottawa 

Faculte de droit 
Faculty of Law 

Section de common law 
Common Law Section 

For more information visit: or call 613-562-5800, ext. 3288 

On-line application: 
Application deadline: November 1, 2007 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 5 


Wanted: the perfect boss 

Its hard to define what makes a great coach, but we at Gateway sports 
know it when we see it—and what we see is ballsy suits and crazy plays 

The taunts you heard in the school- 
yard are true: statistics are for squares. 
It takes more than just a fancy Hall of 
Fame induction or a shiny undefeated 
streak to impress the truly discerning 
sports fan. As the squeaky kid from 
Captain Planet would say, it takes heart 
to truly be a champion, and that goes 
double for coaches—though some¬ 
times “heart” means “yelling” and 

In recognition of this fact, the 
Gateways finest coaching analysts 
have put their heads together to make 
an entirely subjective list of the best 
coaches—any sport, any time. 

Trevor Phillips 

My pick can be summed up in just 
three words: Donald S Cherry. The 
loveable loudmouth commentator 
from CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada 
is, without a doubt, the greatest 
bench boss in the history of sports. 
Statistically speaking, Grapes isn’t the 
top hockey skipper of all time—that’s 
obviously Scotty Bowman—but what 
Cherry lacked in NHL games coached 
he has made up for with a keen fash¬ 
ion sense that comes equipped with 
one fine pair of ass-kicking boots. 

Cherry took over the Rochester 
Americans in ’71, and two years later 
he won AHL Coach of the Year and was 
promoted to the two-time defending 
Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins. 
There, he won 231 games in five 
years, two conference championships, 
and the Jack Adams Award in 1976. 
After he and Bruins GM Harry Sinden 
exchanged knuckle sandwiches over a 
coaching blunder in ’79, he was fired. 
But, for the record, it was a too-many- 
men-on-the-ice penalty, and nobody 
was going to beat the Habs in the ’70s 
anyway because that jerk Bowman 
was coaching them. 

Still, Cherry went on to revive 
hockey in Colorado, albeit with a 
fight-first, play-hockey-later strat¬ 
egy, before retiring from the game 
and filling our ears with insightful 
knowledge and our eyes with beauti¬ 
ful suits every Saturday night on his 
Coach’s Corner segment. 

Don’t forget, Cherry accomplished 
all of this while only having play¬ 
ing one shift in the NHL and never 
finishing junior high—that alone 
should be reason enough to crown 
him as the best coach. Then again, 
Bowman never played in the NHL 
either, that wuss. 

Nick Frost 

As a fan of hockey, it would be abso¬ 
lutely criminal for me not to include 
a guy like Roger Neilson on a list of 
the greatest coaches of all time, what¬ 
ever the criteria. He was one of a only 
a handful of coaches to have coached 
1000 games at the NHL level, had 460 
regular season wins, two President’s 
Trophy-winning seasons—one with 
the Rangers in 1992 and the other with 
the Senators in 2002—and was even 
named to the Order of Canada. It’s 
pretty easy to see, then, that Neilson 
had an astounding impact not just as a 
coach, but as an individual as well. 

Neilson’s greatest contribution, with¬ 
out question, was his method of using 
game footage to analyze the strategies 
of other teams and determine the areas 
in which is own team needed to work 
harder—a way of coaching that has 
since been adopted been most, if not 
all, coaches in all levels of the sport. 

His innovative thinking and ability 
to read loopholes in the NHL’s rule- 
book gave him a unique approach to 
the game, one that any coach in the 
current era would be hard-pressed to 
match. Hell, any guy that would send 
out a defenceman to play goal on a 
penalty shot—which would allow the 
defenseman to come out of his net and 
play the shooter directly, and lead the 
NHL to change the rule to permit only 
goalies to defend on penalty shots—is 
someone who’s clearly thinking on his 

To this day, I’ll never forget watch¬ 
ing the NHL Entry Draft in 2003, when 
Gary Bettman came to the podium in 
Nashville between picks to announce 
Neilson’s sad passing, and the collec¬ 
tive lump in every hockey fan’s throat 
in knowing that we had lost one of the 
best to ever stand behind the bench. 

Marc Affeld 

It took almost three years of petitioning 
the NFL, but this season, San Francisco 
49ers head coach Mike Nolan was 
finally allowed to dress the way he 
wanted to, and was the first NFL coach 
in thirteen years to don a suit and tie on 
the sidelines. 

Thanks almost entirely to Nolan, a 
special deal was negotiated before the 
start of this season between the league 
and Reebok—which owns exclusive 
rights to providing all of the clothes 
worn by NFL coaches—to create a 
Reebok-brand suit for Nolan to wear. 

You see, while coaches in the NHL 
and NBA have pretty much always 
been allowed to wear suits, profes¬ 
sional football coaches have for the past 
decade been forced to dress like the 
angry gym teachers that exist only in 
our darkest nightmares. 

The reason Nolan gives for wanting 
to kick it old-school is out of respect 
for his ex-coach father and all of the 
suit-wearing football coaches of years 
past—evidence that the man has class 
to spare. 

I don’t care if current New England 
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has 
three Super bowl rings; I would per¬ 
sonally much rather take orders from 
a man who is one fedora away from 
looking like Tom Landry than a man 
who is one missing tooth away from 
looking like he pans for gold in a tent 
along the North Saskatchewan River. 

Of course, there are many foot¬ 
ball fans who might point out how 
insignificant being named Esquire’s 
eleventh-best-dressed man in the world 
is compared to one’s performance on 
the sidelines, but the fact remains that 
Nolan is a beacon of hope for old-style 
gridiron fans who are sick of having 
to hear about dog fighting, strip-club 
shootings, human growth hormones, 
and secret films of the opposing teams’ 
defensive signals. 

Ben Carter 

Football is, essentially, a game of 
common sense. If you’ve prepared 
well enough during the week and 
you have quality players who know 
what they’re doing, a football game 
basically comes down to two things: 
who can make the fewest mistakes, 

and which coaching staff can make 
the adjustments necessary through¬ 
out the course of a game to win. Fans 
looking to learn a lesson in quality 
football coaching should have their 
eyes focused firmly on the sidelines 
at Commonwealth Stadium, as Danny 
Maciocia is providing lessons on what 
not to do, by getting thoroughly out- 
coached every week of the season. 

When he first took over the team 
in 2005, Maciocia inherited a team 
rich in talent and experience. The 
Esks won the Grey Cup later that year, 
where Maciocia distinguished himself 
by running out onto the field before 
the game was quite over. 

Since then, the team has floundered, 
due in large part to one boneheaded 
coaching or personnel decision after 
another. The infamous last-play loss to 
Winnipeg in 2006 (in which the Esks 
decided that double coverage wasn’t 
necessary on Milt Stegall—only the 
greatest receiver in CFL history), the 
end of 34 consecutive playoff seasons, 
and a number of incidents that sug¬ 
gest the Eskimos have become a team 
without a lot of class (AJ Gass, Rahim 
Abdullah) have all occurred under 
Maciocia’s watch. 

The Eskimos, once the envy of 
every team in the league, have 
become mired in mediocrity, with a 
long way to go to catch up with the 
rest of the CFL. 

It remains to be seen whether or not 
Maciocia will go down in history with 
other CFL coaching disasters such as 
Jeff Reinbold, Matt Dunigan, or Kay 
Stephenson. But as it stands, he remains 
the favourite coach of this non-Eskimos 
fan, and I will look forward to seeing 
his confused stare on CFL sidelines 
weekly for as long as I can. 

Robin Collum 

Records and trophies are impressive, 
and Jacques Demers has picked up his 
fair share of these. The former NHL 
coach and current French-language 
TV announcer coached in Montreal, 
Quebec City, St Louis, Detroit, and 
Tampa Bay. He won two Jack Adams 
awards for NHL Coach of the Year, 
in 1987 and 1988—the only person 
to have won in consecutive years— 
and led the Habs to their most recent 
Stanley Cup in 1993. 

But it’s not his accomplishments in 
the arena that have most earned my 
respect; it’s what he did two years 
ago: he publicly admitted that he was 
functionally illiterate. Demers had 
kept it a secret throughout his entire 
career, and even many of his clos¬ 
est friends were shocked at the rev¬ 
elation. He was practiced at hiding 
his status: he knew a few common 
phrases, such as those he would write 
for autograph-seekers; developed an 
excellent memory; and would often 
ask for help with English text, claim¬ 
ing that he wasn’t bilingual enough 
to handle it—among other tricks. 

Everybody has a secret that they 
dread exposing to the world, and this 
was Demers’. He explained that he 
was too afraid to admit his illiteracy 
earlier, for fear he’d be ostracised. He 
figured that the NHL would never have 
given him a chance; he even kept his 
illiteracy from his wife. 

It was an incredibly brave move to 
come forward with his story, and drew 
attention to a problem that gets very 
little attention in North America. 

Good coaches lead by example, and 
in my books this makes Jacques Demers 
one of the best. 

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Cinch your belt tight, tuck in the cuffs, 
£ncl stuff two ferrets down your trousers: 
you're now a participant in the noble—and 
illegal—sport of ferret-legging. The ordeal 
is then timed, and neither the wearer nor 
the participants are allowed to be drugged. 
Underwear is also forbidden. 

Gateway sports meetings, which happen 
every Tuesday at 5:30 in 3-04 SUB, have 
been designated a ferret-free zone 


Wearing white pants to better show the blood since 1910 


volume XCVIII number 5 ♦ the official student newspaper at the university of alberta ♦ ♦ tuesday, 18 September, 2007 


CHALK ONE UP FOR THE MOB The Edmonton Flash Mobber Society descended on Sir Winston Churchill Square on 
14 September to mark up the expansive concrete space to raise awareness of pressing environmental issues in Alberta. 

PI A launches election 
awareness campaign 

Senior News Editor 

Every three years, on the third Monday 
in October, all cities in Alberta go to the 
polls. This year, Public Interest Alberta 
(PIA) wants that electoral tradition to 
be marked by an increased turnout 
among the younger demographic. 

Last Thursday, the three-year-old 
advocacy organization launched Take 
Back Your City, its provincial campaign 
aimed at engaging young people in the 
municipal and school board elections. 

NAIT Student Association Vice- 
President (Academic) and PIA board 
member Lisa Munro explained at the 
campaign launch that all candidates 
across the province will be sent an 
extensive survey prompting them to 
list what they consider to be the most 
important issues for municipalities. 
These surveys will in turn be compared 
to the ones given out to young people 
in specific regions so that voters can 
decide how the responses correspond. 

“We’re not telling anyone [any¬ 
thing]; were just giving them the 
tools to analyze whether or not the 
candidates are responding to their 
critical issues,” PIA executive director 

Bill Moore-Kilgannon said. Over the 
next several weeks, PIA will be hold¬ 
ing similar campaing events around 
the province leading up to the open¬ 
ing of the polls on 15 October. 

According to Moore-Kilgannon, the 
idea of holding an electoral campaign 
aimed at engaging youth stems from a 
democracy task force held last March 
that involved eight different forums 
across Alberta. 

“One of the key things that we heard 
[coming out of those forums] was that 
we need to engage young people to rec¬ 
ognize how their daily life is impacted 
by politics and how, through their 
participation in democracy, they could 
have an influence as to what type of 
society they live in,” he said. 

However, University of Alberta 
Students’ Union President Michael 
Janz noted that a large part of the need 
to connect specifically with student 
voters has to do with the simple fact 
that they are often displaced from 
their home regions. He stated that 
approximately 40 per cent of students 
at the U of A are not originally from 
Edmonton, and therefore may not see 
it as their home city. 


New self-serve checkout kiosks put waiting in line on the shelf 


CHECK IT OUT Self-check-out machines stand at the ready in Rutherford. 


News Staff 

As of last week, U of A students now 
have a new and improved means of 
checking out books at libraries across 

On 12 September, University of 
Alberta Libraries unveiled new self- 
serve checkout machines intended 
to make borrowing books quick and 
easy, while allowing more privacy for 
students checking out materials. 

“This initiative is part of the 
Libraries’ commitment to improving 
its services to the student and to pro¬ 
vide a better student experience in 
accordance with the academic plan,” 
said Karen Adams, U of A director of 
Library Services. “We are assuming 
that shorter lineups mean a better 
student experience and greater self- 
sufficiency in [their] ability to inter¬ 
act with the library.” 

The new self-serve machines are 
also an improvement over the decade- 
old self-serve checkout terminals that 
were previously employed. 

“We had problems with [the] 
old machines, especially with bar¬ 
codes being all over library items. 
The library has taken an initiative to 
place the barcodes on the front of the 
books,” explained Audrey Holubitsky, 
a technical advisor who helped with 

the implementation of the self-serve 

Unlike the old terminals, the new 
machines feature a touch-screen LCD 
display housed in a sturdy, anodized- 
steel body, and can also print out due- 
date receipts of checked-out materials. 
The machines are also future-ready, 
with each unit being run by a stan¬ 
dard desktop computer that can be 
accessed to modify or upgrade the 
unit’s software or hardware with 
ease. Emanating from underneath the 
display panel is a red laser beam that 
scans the barcodes off the thousands 
of printed materials featured in the 
U of A Libraries’ collection. 

The new machines are also easier 
to use, requiring the quick swipe of a 
One Card coupled with intuitive on¬ 
screen animated instructions. 

“We ask people to ‘park’ the item 
barcode under the red beam, wait for a 
beep that tells them their item has been 
checked out, and then listen for a thunk 
that tells them their item can pass 
through the security gate,” explained 
Alexa Jaffurs, access services coordina¬ 
tor for the U of A Libraries. 

“We chose these machines because 
they could handle the widest array of 
materials and placement of barcodes,” 
she added. Previous testing trials suc¬ 
cessfully checked out more unusual 
items, such as a stuffed teddy bear 

with a barcode sticker. 

For now, the new machines are lim¬ 
ited to checking out printed materials 
such as books, journals, and other 
publications. Other library materials, 
such as videotapes, DVDs, and other 
media in kits have yet to be available 
for checkout with the new machine. 
More complex materials, such as edu¬ 
cational learning props, remain avail¬ 
able for checkout from conventional 
circulation desks operated by existing 
library staff. 

“People still need things from 
the circulation desk; no one will 
be laid off because we have these 
machines,” explained Anne Carr- 
Wiggin, interim manager of circu¬ 
lation at the Rutherford Humanities 
and Social Sciences Libraries. “We’re 
changing library services constantly. 
You’ll see different types of service 
for sure, but this doesn’t a represent 
a staff person by any means.” 

Twelve machines have been pur¬ 
chased, with four operational at 
Rutherford Library, three to be 
installed in Cameron Sciences and 
Technology Library, two in Coutts 
Education, and one in each of Health 
Sciences, Law, and the Bibliotheque 

“It’s a great service that our library 
is doing. It shows that our University 
is trying to bring about all the fea¬ 

tures of the academic plan by trying to 
bring about a fulfilling undergraduate 
experience,” Students’ Union Vice- 
President (Academic) Bobby Samuel 
said after a 15-second checkout of a 

book. “If anything, it will allow stu¬ 
dents to go into the library, take care 
of the process themselves, and to take 
care of the checkout as expediently as 










Sports Feature 






Assistance needed 

The only thing worse than Bear Tracks 
is WebMail; the only think worse than 
WebMail is WebCT. 


Needed assistants 

Assistant coaches are the unsung 
heroes of varsity sports, but they do 
more than you might think. 



tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 

They don't get paid, and they're never in the middle of a media scrum, but assistant 
coaches are integral part of the team dynamic. Gateway sports editor Robin Collum 
looks a little further down the bench to profile some of the University's best deputies. 



“Coaching the technical side 
has always been second nature 
to me. Its the part I enjoy the 
most, and so that’s what I do.” 



M ost university volleyball teams would 
have a hard time trying to decide 
which they wanted on their coach¬ 
ing staff more: someone who has been involved 
with the sport for more than three decades, or 
someone with degrees in biomechanics and a 
specialized knowledge of the science of sport. 
Luckily for the Pandas, they don’t have to choose, 
as they have both in their technical coach, Dr 
Pierre Baudin. 

In addition to his PhD in biomechanics, Baudin 
has been coaching volleyball—mostly at the U 
of A—since the mid-’70s, including two stints 
as head coach: behind the Pandas bench from 
1978-80, and for the Bears from 1986-91. 

“I’ve been on campus, with only a few breaks, 
since 1971, either as a student, a professor, a grad¬ 
uate student, or a coach,” he laughs. “I’ve been 
around volleyball for a long, long time.” 

After his five years with the Bears, Baudin was 
tired of the gruelling travel schedule, and decided 
it was best to focus on his personal life. 

“My family was at that age where it was 
time for dad to be home a little bit more,” he 

But Baudin was far from done with volleyball, 
so instead of leaving the Bears and Pandas pro¬ 
grams, he stepped down to his current role as 

technical coach, even¬ 
tually focusing solely 
on the Pandas. It’s a 
part-time, volunteer 
position that he feels 
complements his day job 
as a lecturer in the Faculty of 
Physical Education. 

Coaching the technical side has 
always been second nature to me. 

Dr Pierre Baudin 

Pandas Volleyball 

It’s the part I enjoy the most, and so that’s what 
I do,” he says. 

“It allows me to bring the real world into the 
classroom, and I can take my theoretical knowl¬ 
edge out with me to coach. Especially the biome¬ 
chanics and physiology knowledge I have, I can 
take it to the court—we call it the living lab. For 
me it’s a win-win, and I love to do it.” 

Because of Baudin’s specialization—as he 
points out, biomechanic volleyball coaches aren’t 
common—Alberta has a certain edge over its 
competition, which goes a long way towards 
explaining the consistent quality of players the 
Pandas program produces. The U of A has made 
it to nationals 13 times since he rejoined their 
staff: eight years in a row between 1993—2000, 
and every year since the 2002/03 season—and 
have collected seven CIS banners in the process. 

“Pierre’s volleyball and sports-science back¬ 
ground really qualify him to be one of the top 
technical coaches in the country,” says Pandas 
head coach Laurie Eisler, who feels that the 
changes Baudin made to the team’s blocking 
last season played a big part in their winning 
the national championship. “Pierre has a unique 
ability to analyze the skill execution and have an 
immediate impact on the athlete’s performance 
and take them from one level to the next level.” 

“Modest me, but I think [having me] is a big 
advantage,” Baudin says. “How does our third- 
year athlete compare with a third-year athlete 
that’s at another institution? I would say gener¬ 
ally speaking that we take athletes farther than 
those in other programs, and I think a large part 
of that is that other programs don’t have people 
like me.” 

But it’s not just him: Baudin gives credit for 
Alberta’s dominance of the national volleyball 

scene to Eisler—now in her 16th year at the U 
of A—and the atmosphere she’s created for the 
coaching staff. He says that she trusts her assis¬ 
tant coaches and makes them feel valued, which 
brings excellence and loyalty to the program. 

“The environment that’s created here [helps],” 
Baudin says. “When we went to nationals last 
year ... I think our ratio of coaching staff to ath¬ 
letes was one to one. I’m pretty certain there isn’t 
any other university team in the country—of 
any sport—that has that. 

“It’s basically all volunteer, and the only reason 
people keep volunteering is that you are allowed 
to be a part of that national championship-win¬ 
ning team. I was a head coach, and I never did 
win a national championship, so I never did have 
that opportunity, but to be a part of it now—and 
to actually feel a part of it—that’s really impor¬ 
tant. That’s what keeps you coming back.” 

Eisler, meanwhile, noted that having Baudin’s 
office just a few down from her own eases the 
pressure she feels, especially when most teams 
don’t have the luxury of having a second full¬ 
time employee on the coaching staff. 

“Having someone just down the hallway as a 
sounding board and for unconditional support— 
coaching can be a very isolating position—to 
have his ear helps me to sleep at night,” she says. 

F or Cathy Butlin, coaching basketball isn’t 
just something she does on the side. She 
has a master’s degree in coaching from 
the U of A; leads the senior girls’ team at Jasper 
Place High School, where she teaches phys ed 
and math; and is the top assistant coach for 
the Pandas. She does it all because she loves 
the game, and has a passion for sharing it with 

“It’s very similar to my career as a teacher,” 
she says, explaining the appeal that coaching 
holds for her. “It’s giving back to youth, shar¬ 
ing your experiences with them, and trying to 
make them better people. 

“That’s the biggest thing I get from it: seeing 
people grow, seeing them improve and them 
being successful, and feeling that you had a 
part in that.” 

Butlin has a long history with the Pandas 
program, having been one herself. She played 

five seasons 
here as a 

guard from 1996—2001, so she has a lot of per¬ 
sonal experience as a student-athlete. 

When she graduated, Butlin knew that she 
was done with playing full-time, but wasn’t 
ready to give up the sport. So she decided to 
combine her love of teaching and of basket¬ 
ball, and started coaching. 

In fact, she liked it so much that she went 
back to school for a master’s in coaching from 
the U of A—becoming that program’s first- 
ever graduate—before returning to the Pandas. 
This time, however, she was on the other end 
of the bench, and found it to be a completely 
new experience. She also found that she had a 
lot to learn. 

“I considered going full-time with coaching, 
but at this point in my life, I just didn’t feel that it 
was for me, and that’s why I’m teaching instead. 
I want to get more experience before I step into 
a role like that,” she explains. “That’s why I 
did my master’s, too. I knew the basketball side 
of it, but there’s so much more that there was 
to learn.” 

Butlin learned quickly, and is now an invalu¬ 
able part of the Aberta coaching staff—to the 
point that head coach Scott Edwards will jok¬ 
ingly call her the “associate head coach.” She 
works with the perimeter players during prac¬ 
tice, helps lay out strategy with Edwards, and 

coordinates subbing during games. She is per¬ 
haps equally valuable to the players, however, 
as a role model and confidante. 

“She’s got a great personality and rap¬ 
port with athletes; she’s young enough to 
be not that far out of her [playing] career, 
so she knows what they’re going through,” 
Edwards says. “One of her greatest strengths 
is her ability to talk to athletes on a one- 
on-one basis and bring out the best of them 
individually—remind them of the good 
parts of their game when they’re down on 

In Butlin’s third year as 
a player, the Pandas won 
the national champion¬ 
ship, and they brought 
home silver in her final 
year as well. Her experience as a 
Panda, and especially one who had 
such a distinguished career, helps her 
players connect to her, and, she feels, makes 
her a better coach. Last season, Alberta went 
to nationals for the first time since Butlin 
graduated, and her history was even more 

“I have a lot to do with decision-making, and 
they respect me for that but also just because I 
played here and did well.” 

“That’s the biggest thing I get from 
[coaching]: seeing people grow, 
seeing them improve and them 
being successful, and feeling that 
you had a part in that.” 

Cathy Butlin 

Pandas Basketball 

Check back on Thursday for the second half of our series 
on assistant coaches , where we will profile Ron Thompson 
from the track teams , and Ted Poplawski from the Bears 
hockey squad. 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 5 


EWE OF A by Norman Lau 








like YOU. 



SEXY GEEK by Ross Lockwood and Vishaal Rajani 


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RENT-A-THUG by Jeff Martin 


What! If you think I'm going to sit 
through another year of that 
you are insane in the 
mainframe! Plus, you know 
I'm a pacifist. 


2 I j 

Right, I forgot So, does that mean no one 
about that. is getting hurt this year? 

I can't 

M J 

Damn it... 

RUT-RUT &MEEBLO by Gateway Staff 





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This never would have happened 
if you'd volunteered for 
Gateway Comics. 

Please, help stop the madness. 
Now recruiting artists and writers. 

Gateway Comics Meetings 
Wednesdays at 3pm 


tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 


123, 133 and 147 

— ** \ 


Last week, we handed out dozens of 
Gateway frisbees around campus to 
our dedicated readers. If the number on 
the back of yours matches the numbers 
above, bring your winning frisbee up to 
our offices in 3-04 SUB to claim your 

Winners can choose from one of three 
fabulous prize packs: 


i) 2007/08 Gateway bound edition 
2) Gateway T-shirt and a mug 
3) Gateway mug and stickers 

Prizes will be given out first-come, 
first-serve, so try not to break the 
elevators—and don't forget to 
bring the evidence. 


Letting you level up since 1910 

gateway student journalism society 



Tuesday, 16 October, 2007 at 5pm Alumni Room, Students* Union Building 


Introductory remarks • Approval of 2006-2007 GSJS Audit (Allen & Associates) 

Announcements • Refreshments 

All members (i.e., those with five or more Gateway contributions in the 365 days prior to 16 October and who have reg¬ 
istered for membership with a Gateway editor) are asked to attend. If you have made five or more contributions to the 
Gateway in the 365 days prior to 16 October and would like to become a member, please contact the Editor-in-Chief at This meeting is also open to the public. 

For more information, please contact the Editor-in-Chief Adam Gaumont at 

or visit 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIH number 5 



To place a classified ad, please go to 


Parking spot—walk to U of A from 109st and 
81ave. $35/mo. Unpowered outdoor spot. 

Looking for female roommate to share two 
bedroom apartment on south side (near old 
Heritage Mall). $450/month + DD. Graduate 
or mature student preferred. Call: 695-6492 
Waikiki, Hawaii condo, weekly rental $1000 
(Sun-Sun) sleeps 6, ph: Natalie @ 425-3459 


Good quality furniture, tables and chairs, 
bookshelves, lamps, Victorian drawer chest, 
1940 dresser, steamer trunk, bookshelves, 
4-drawer filing cabinets. Woodworking 
tools & bench. Classics and other books. 
Enquire: Jennie 433-2932. Also garage sale 
Friday 14 Sept 3-7, Sat 15 Sept 9-3. 

Parking pass available one block from 
campus. Valid until Sept 08. Call 708- 
6631. _ 


Students interested in graduating debt free! 
Exciting, fun, rewarding part-time efforts 
pay you full-time. Learn and earn! www. 


On campus guitar instruction. Now booking 
for fall lessons, 


American Sign Language Class Level One, 
non-credit course, begins 20 September, 
2007 for twelve weeks: Thursdays, 6:30- 
9:30pm, $125. Contact Specialized Support 
and Disability Services, U of A, 492-3381, 
2-800 SUB for registration. 

Build a business asset while you build your 


Kitchen help needed at the Upper Crust Cafe 
and Caterers.PT or FT. Close to campus. 
We can be flexible around your schedule. 
No Sundays or long weekends. Fax resume 
to 436-8942 or in person afternoons 
10909-86 Ave. _ 

Catering Delivery driver needed for Upper 
Crust, Must be available 10am-2pm. Neat in 
appearance. Clean Driving record. Free lunch 
when on shift, Apply by fax 436-8942 or in 
person afternoons 10909-86 Ave. 

Part-time Receptionist required at River 
Valley Health. Uiversity area sports 
chiropractic clinic looking for energetic 
individual to fill immediate opening. Position 
offers campus location, flexible hours 
and competitive wages. Applicant must 
possess excellent communication and 
customer service skills. Phys Ed, Kinesiology 
or Physiology background and previous 
reception experience are assets. Applicants 
must be available for morning and weekend 
shifts and summer employment. Email cover 
letter, resume and hours of availability to 

Be a basketball referee: Earn cash every Sat. 
Website: or 988-4851 
Clinic: 28-29 Sept. Great reference and job 

McKee Out-of-School Care seeking part- 
time help to work with children 6 to 12 years 
of age. Part-time shifts are from 3 to 6pm. 
Close to University. Great experience for 
those in Ed., Recreation or similiar programs. 
Reply with resume by email to dsczebel@ 

This is the perfect job for you! If you are 
looking for a job that will work around your 
class schedule, and study times and pay you 
an hour you need to apply today. A Cappella 
Catering is now hiring for all service staff, We 
offer flexible schedules, bonuses and a great 
wage. Come join the many U of A Students 
already employed by A Cappella today! We 
are looking for full and part time. Apply to 

Male quadriplegic requires live-in aide 
alternate weekends. Driver's license 
required, will train. Lots of free time to study. 

Busy West-End Optometric Practice requires 
part-time assistant, Ideal opportunity for 
pre-optometry students. Please fax resume 
to 444-3880, Attn: Charlene. 

Night Owl? Night Bellman 11pm-7am 
needed immed. on Whyte Ave Boutique 
Hotels. $12-$13/hr to start depend on exp. 
Valet park guests' vehicles/luggage. Nice 
work envir. Fax: 465-8165 Email: dheil@ 

Gymnastics, diving, and swimming 
instructors needed ASAP. Fun learning 
environment for children participating in 
sport program offered evenings and Saturday 
mornings. Superior Wages. Phone Taunya 
or Drew @ 444-7300 or send resume to 


Volunteers needed 2-3 hrs/wk to teach 
English as a second language to adult 
newcomers to Canada. No experience 
necessary. Ongoing training provided. Great 
opportunity to meet students from around 
the globe. Contact Jason at CCI-LEX, 944- 

Girl Guide Leaders desperately needed 
NOW. Must be female and 18+, Contact 
or 435-5068 for info. Come join the fun! 

Got an hour? Be an In-School Mentor! Read. 
Write in a journal. Explore computers. Play 
in the gym. Enjoy arts and crafts. We have 
over 50 elementary schools to choose from 
in Edmonton and area. Call Big Brothers Big 
Sisters at 424-8181 or visit us online at www. 

Volunteer Assistant for Kids Karate Club, 
ages 6-12. One hour/week Thursdays 4pm, 
two blocks from UofA Campus. 2+ years 
experience in a Martial Art, Email WPKKC_ or phone Gordon at 
492-9930 weekdays. 

Volunteer with Safewalk! Safewalk is a 
Students' Union run servicethat walks people 
on and around campus at night, We look 
for friendly, energetic, and fun volunteers. 
Volunteer shifts are flexible, and can be 
chosen on a week to week basis according 
to the time and day that works best for you. 
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volunteer application deadline is September 
26th. Happy September! 

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2 news 

tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 


tuesday, 18 September, 2007 

volume XCVI11 number 5 

Published since 21 november, 1910 
Circulation 12 000 
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sister paper, and we love her dearly, though "not in that 
way.” The Gateway's games of choice are Portobello 
Market and dual-monitor WoW. 


Edmon Rotea, Krystina Sulatycki, Cody Civiero, Bryan 
Saunders, Moly Milosovic, Allison Graham, Paul 
Knoechel, Ben Ettinger, Maria Kotovych, Sarah Stead, 
Ben Carter, Trevor Phillips, Marc Affeld, Nick Frost, 
Kristina De Guzman, Alexander Witt, Sarah Scott, 
Jordan Abel, Jill Gamez, Jeffrey Klassen, Norman 
Lau, Ross Lockwood, Vishaal Rajani, Jeff Martin, Kyle 
Gooding, Grade 10 Mike Kendrick, Shaun Mott, Kate 
Wade, Jenny Frogner, Ryan Shippelt, Tara Stieglitz, 

Upcoming provincial election PI As focus 


GETTING THE WORD OUT MacEwan Students' Association President Justin Benko talks about the upcoming election. 


“I think its the students that some¬ 
times have the transient mentality 
[of], ‘Well, I’m here for my degree,’ 
or ‘I’m here for my masters,’ but they 
need to be pulled out and connected 
to [it] just as much as citizens who 
grew up in Edmonton,” Janz said. 

Ward 5 candidate Don Iveson 
added that issues are often compli¬ 
cated enough in municipal politics, 
and they need to be broken down 
for specific audiences. He noted that 
students have specific needs related to 
public transit and affordable housing 
that aren’t necessarily unique to their 
community, but that are nevertheless 

“Approaching [young voters] with 
those issues is an opportunity ... to 
engage them in something that mat¬ 
ters more to them than abstract con¬ 
versations about zoning or the other 
kinds of things that tend to come up 
in municipal campaigns,” Iveson 

Of the municipal issues currently 
having the most impact on the lives 
of students and young voters, U of A 
SU Vice-President (External) Steven 
Dollansky pointed to the housing short¬ 
age as an area of primary concern. 

“Our institution is located in a 
region of Edmonton with the lowest 
vacancy rates and some of the high¬ 
est rental rates in the city,” Dollansky 
said. He proposed that immediately 
following the upcoming election, 
councillors should commit to legaliz¬ 
ing secondary suites in mature neigh¬ 
bourhoods, ensuring existing suites 
meet building standards, and work 

to stimulate the supply of affordable 

Students’ Association of Grant 
MacEwan College President Justin 
Benko stressed that student apathy was 
not to blame for notoriously low turn¬ 
out at the ballots among university- 
aged voters. Instead, he said, a lack of 
information regarding the importance 
of voting needs to be addressed. 

“Students aren’t always aware [of] 
how government affects their lives 
directly,” Benko said. “We can’t always 
just expect students to get the infor¬ 
mation themselves. I think it’s very 

important to engage students.” 

Ward 4 candidate Ben Henderson 
added that one common misconcep¬ 
tion is that if the person you vote 
for doesn’t get elected, the vote was 

“Actually, that’s not the most impor¬ 
tant reason to vote—knowing that 
a certain demographic doesn’t vote 
means that they can be ignored. And 
it’s really hard to get people’s issues 
onto the table if they’re not a voting 
demographic,” Henderson said. 

Harvey Voogd, Ward 3 election 
candidate, echoed Henderson’s com¬ 

ments, and noted that decisions will 
ultimately reflect the age of the people 
who vote. 

“Traditionally, young people have 
not voted in any great amount,” 
Voogd noted. “So people in their 40s, 
their 50s, and 60s are going to make 
decisions that are going to affect 
all of us by default because people 
younger than those ages don’t come 
out to vote.” 

“We’ve done a really bad job over 
the last decade or so convincing 
people that their vote is important,” 
Henderson concluded. 



Compiled by Cody Civiero 


Two males were seen outside of 
Rutherford Library North aggressively 
panhandling on 13 September. After 
being unsuccessful for some time, 
they asked one person, "Can I lift your 
wallet?" and were told to "screw off." 
At that point, Campus Security was 
advised. The first male is described 
as white, 5'9" and in his 20s and the 
second is described as white, 5'7" and 
in his 20s with a yellow jacket. 


On 13 September, a CSS officer initiated 

a traffic stop for a cyclist, who dropped 
his bike on the ground and fled on foot. 
He was apprehended after a short 
chase, and was determined to have sev¬ 
eral criminal warrants out for his arrest. 
He was issued violation notices for fail¬ 
ing to stop for a peace officer and other 
traffic offenses before being released 
to EPS. 


On 14 September, Parking Services 
located a fraudulent parking permit 
displayed in a vehicle in the Windsor 
Carpark. CSS attended, and the driver 
of the vehicle arrived in time to pay the 
drop fee to the towing company. Code 
of Student Behaviour charges are pend¬ 
ing against the student, as well as pos¬ 
sible fines, tow charges, storage fees, 
and offence tickets issued by Parking 


On 14 September, CSS responded to 
the Rutherford Library area after a 
concerned University staff member 
noticed that a vehicle was obstructing 
the laneway. The staff member had 
knocked on the window of the vehicle, 
and the driver appeared incoherent, 
Officers attended the area and 
offered first aid to the driver, who 
was conscious but disoriented, and 
requested an ambulance after it was 
suspected that he was diabetic. The 
driver, of no university affiliation, was 
assessed and treated by paramed¬ 
ics. After being given sugar, he didn't 
require transport to the hospital. 


On 15 September, bike unit members 
spoke with a taxi driver who was block¬ 

ing traffic near the south entrance to HUB 
mall, The driver took off and committed 
numerous traffic violations in the bus loop 
before being stopped by an officer in a 
vehicle. The driver, who had no university 
affiliation, was issued several provincial 
driving tickets, including failure to stop for 
a peace officer. 


On 15 September, a male and female were 
stopped for jaywalking on 112 Street and 
83 Ave. The female was uncooperative 
and provided a false name before going 
unconscious. The investigating officer was 
also a paramedic and was able to provide 
assistance. The female was then identi¬ 
fied and it was determined that she had 
several outstanding criminal warrants for 
her arrest. She was escorted to EPS head¬ 
quarters and a charge of failing to provide 
identification to a peace officer was added 
to her resume. 

you may be aware, there are multiple definitions of the word “Sunday/sundae 

31 Ktt I CK3 What's your perfect sundae? 

Compiled and photographed by 
Steve Smith and Krystina Sulatycki 

Dan Thiessen 

2pm Dental 

Chris Thompson 


Eleshia Kimber 

Education III 



Arts III 

"My perfect Sunday would be waking up 
with a beautiful lady under my arm and 
wasting the day away." (No ice cream?) 
"Well, we could incorporate that." (That's 
kind of what a sundae is.) "Well, that's a 
different rendition of a sundae, yes." 

"Watching TV, trying not to do home¬ 
work." (No ice cream? Sauce?) "Oh, that 
kind of sundae. Well then it's pretty much 
a bowl full of sprinkles. Maybe a little ice 
cream, but I'm pretty much a bowl full of 
sprinkles kind of guy." 

"I guess it would be a banana split with 
chocolate, strawberry, and caramel. 
Maybe pecans or walnuts." 

"Hot fudge. No, just kidding. My perfect 
Sunday would be golfing." (You were 
right the first time.) "Oh, okay. Then hot 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIH number 5 


Panel probes prostitution problems 


News Staff 

Prostitution is sometimes called the 
world’s oldest profession, but there are 
some who think they can put an end 
to it—or at least the legal shortcom¬ 
ings, the poverty, and the ignorance 
that they believe perpetuates it. 

On Friday, 14 September, a panel 
discussion titled “Prostitution and 
the Law: Alternatives for Reform” 
was held at the Law Centre, exam¬ 
ining whether the decriminaliza¬ 
tion of prostitution—the removal of 
Section 213 from the Criminal Code 
of Canada—might affect those in the 
sex trade. 

Dawn Hodgins, a former prosti¬ 
tute and now project coordinator 
and public educator for Prostitution 
Awareness & Action Foundation of 
Edmonton (PAAFE), thinks that while 
the laws need addressing, decrimi¬ 
nalization isn’t the answer. The prob¬ 
lem doesn’t lie with the prostitutes, 
Hodgins believes, but with the johns 
who pick them up. 

“One of the things we know is that 
17 per cent of men who are caught 
trying to pick up a woman off the 
street have a violent criminal history,” 
Hodgins said. 

Decriminalizing prostitution in 
a public place, Hodgins explained, 
does nothing to change the violence 
that occurs behind closed doors, be 
it within an escort agency, a mas¬ 
sage parlour, or elsewhere. The 
punishments for johns, Hodgins 
emphasized, need to be tougher and 

Hodgins went on to suggest that 
with the rising cost of living, many 
turn to prostitution just to survive. 
However, she said, if one were to 
target and remove the demand—that 
is to say, the johns—the huge profit 
to be made would quickly disap¬ 
pear. So, Hodgins hopes, would the 

Another speaker and an advo¬ 
cate for decriminalization was New 
Democrat MP Libby Davies, repre¬ 
sentative of Vancouver’s notoriously 
poor and drug-riddled downtown 



SEARCHING FOR SOLUTIONS Libby Davies wants prostitution decriminalized. 

east neighbourhood. 

Were prostitution decriminalized, 
Davies believes, women of the street 
would no longer be criminals and 
would feel more confident in turning 
to law enforcement and in reporting 
violence, and it wouldn’t take decades 
for charges to be laid. 

PAAFE’s executive director, Kathy 
King, who lost her daughter to the 
streets, added to this sentiment. 

“I remember years ago, talking to 
a policeman once [about my missing 
daughter], and this policeman said, 
‘You don’t want to know what goes 
on,’ ” King said. 

However, Hodgins didn’t agree that 
decriminalization would do enough 
to reduce the violence and might 
only encourage people to become 
involved, which would lead only to 
more violence. 

Instead, she proposed preventative 
education in the public school system 

as part of the health class curriculum. 
Hodgins believes that men must learn 
at an early age that buying another 
person’s body is unacceptable. Young 
women, she said, must learn early on 
that selling themselves is demeaning 
and wrong. 

“I’m not sure how this idea of 
selling yourself as a form of female 
empowerment [makes women] inde¬ 
pendent of men. It actually makes 
[women totally] reliant on [men] for 
every dime,” Hodgins said. 

It’s important this message is taught 
at a young age, said Hodgins, espe¬ 
cially since many get into the trade 
as minors. Were prostitution simply 
recognized as slavery, Hodgins said, 
perhaps all those who participate in it 
would stop. 

“Why are there men in our society 
who think it’s their right to buy other 
people?” Hodgins asked. “To me, 
that’s the issue. That’s it.” 


OF MICE AND MEN AND MACHINES Researchers used mice to isolate a genetic link to vision loss also found in humans. 


University of Alberta researchers Dr Joe 
Casey and Dr Yves Sauve have found 
evidence that the absence of a gene 
involved with bicarbonate transport— 
the transport of carbon dioxide in the 
human body—causes blindness and 
may be associated with epilepsy. 

Casey, a biochemist, was using mice 
to study heart defects related to the 
Scl4a3 gene (anion exchanger 3 gene) 
in 2005. Although it's very rare for 
humans to lack a gene, it was important 
Casey used "knockout" mice—mice 
lacking Scl4a3—to find out what the 

gene's function was. 

Knowing that the Scl4a3 gene was 
also expressed in the retina, Casey con¬ 
tacted Sauve, a physiologist specializing 
in retinal studies, to see if the mice had 
any eye defects. 

Sauve discovered that the mice Casey 
was studying suffered from a loss of 
vision, though not necessarily blindness. 
The vision loss the mice suffered from is 
similar to hereditary vitreoretinal degen¬ 
eration (HVD), which causes blindness 
in humans, and in both cases there is 
an inner retina problem with neuron 

Their research led them to a simi¬ 
lar study on the Slc4a3 gene done in 
Germany. However, the German sci¬ 
entists were more concerned with its 
association with epilepsy. A mutation of 

the Slc4a3 gene doesn't cause epilepsy 
on its own, but there is evidence to sug¬ 
gest it lowers the threshold for epileptic 
seizures, increasing the chances of a 
person to have one. 

"We're making contact with people 
studying epilepsy and trying to find a 
link, but we haven't yet established a 
link," Sauve said. 

In the future, Casey and Sauve 
would like to possibly link a higher risk 
of epilepsy with a type of inner retina 
disorder—something that resembles 

"Science links different fields, and 
we ourselves are surprised when we go 
in directions we didn't expect, and it is 
fascinating when this happens," Sauve 

— Moly Milosovic, News Writer 


September 14th 
September 15th 


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10815 Jasper Ave 
935 2770 for reservations 

tuesday, 18 September, 2007 ♦ 


Cats—like humans—rely on movement for memory 



I HAS A MUSCLE MEMORY Cats show researchers how humans learn. 


News Writer 

Cats may seem unappreciative to their 
owners, but the advances made by a 
University of Alberta researcher sug¬ 
gest that their memory is influenced 
not by sight but action, a breakthrough 
that humans should appreciate. 

U of A professor of Physiology 
Keir Pearson studies the way that our 
brains control how we know where 
an object is in relation to our bodies. 
The experimental concept of testing 
whether or not an animal needs to 
perform an action or can merely see 
an object to remember it is one of the 
main focuses of Neurophysiology, 
Pearson’s field of study. 

“I’m interested in how the brain 
controls behaviour,” Pearson said. 
“If you move, you still know where 
objects are relative to your body, so 
that means there has to be some sort 
of remapping in your brain to keep 
track of where those objects are as you 

The first experiment that Pearson 

performed consisted of a cat stepping 
over an obstacle with its front legs. 
The cat was then distracted with food 
for as long as possible while straddling 
the barrier. Pearson removed the object 
while the cat was feeding, and then got 
the cat to continue to move forward. 
Every time the test was performed, the 
cat moved forward by raising its hind 
legs as if stepping over the obstacle. 

“The surprising result there was 
that this memory lasts for a long, 
long time,” Pearson said. “[Possibly] 
seeing the obstacle would be enough 
to tell the animal it’s there.” 

However, he inferred that that infor¬ 
mation could also have been sent to the 
brain from the cat’s forelegs to stimu¬ 
late memory, and that the sight of the 
object wasn’t the only factor that cre¬ 
ated the cat’s long-term memory. 

“[The] paper that we published just 
recently was to determine what fac¬ 
tors would establish this memory,” 
Pearson said. He explained that there 
were two factors possibly involved: 
the first being the sight of the object, 
and the second being the possibility 

that the movement of the cat’s forelegs 
sent a message to the brain to remem¬ 
ber the obstacle. 

To test this, the cat was brought to the 
obstacle so that it could see it but not 
step over it. If the cat was distracted for 
a much shorter period of time, it would 
remember the obstacle and lift its hind 
legs as done in the first experiment. 

“If it is more than a few seconds, 
[the cat] completely forgets, so the 
visual signal by itself is not sufficient,” 
Pearson said. “This indicated to us 
that it was the actual movement of the 
front legs over the obstacle that actu¬ 
ally established the memory.” 

Because of the results found in 
Pearson’s tests, researchers have fur¬ 
ther ideas on how these discoveries 
will benefit people. Pearson explained 
that this study helps us understand 
little things about human behaviour, 
from how we can go down stairs with¬ 
out actually needing to see the stairs, 
to being able to find where we parked 
our cars in a large parking lot—even if 
it takes some of us slightly longer. 

More important are the possibilities 

of what this research can do for our 
health. Pearson said that people with 
Alzheimer’s, dementia, Parkinson’s, 
or other cognitive disorders can’t keep 
track of objects in their environment. 

“[Researchers] might be able 
to develop some sort of test to see 
whether there’s a memory decline in 
these patients to do with knowledge of 
where objects are,” he said. 

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THE GATEWAY ♦ volume xcvill number 5 


Costs for Int’l students soar 

Despite rising tuition fees, foreign students continue to pursue Canadian degrees 


CUP Central Bureau Chief _ 

WINNIPEG (CUP)—While interna¬ 
tional students pay up to 180 per cent 
more than their Canadian counter¬ 
parts, few are complaining. In fact, the 
higher the price tag, the more seem 
willing to pay. 

Peter Tan, a third-year Applied 
Environmental Studies student at 
the University of Winnipeg, came 
to Canada from Malaysia in 2005 
because of its relative affordabil¬ 
ity. He chose Winnipeg because of a 
local five-month Grade 12 completion 
program, and later enrolled in the 
University of Manitoba. 

“Winnipeg was quite affordable at 
the time,” Tan said. 

When he arrived, the differential 
between domestic and international 
students was 100 per cent. This 
changed in the summer of 2006, 
when differential fees for all interna¬ 
tional students increased to 180 per 
cent over domestic tuition. 

“It wasn’t even posted online, but 
only on signs throughout the univer¬ 
sity,” Tan said, noting that overseas 
students only heard the news upon 
their return to Canada. 

“The hike was so ridiculous, my 
parents thought I was lying,” he said. 

Tan quickly transferred to the 
University of Winnipeg, opting for 
a similar degree at a 125 per cent 

His cousin and a friend had planned 
to join him until the University 
of Winnipeg also announced its 
intent to hike their differential fee 
to almost 175 per cent the follow¬ 
ing September. One gave up on the 
idea entirely, while the other moved 
to a similarly priced institution in 

“Not many can afford a $1000, 
three-credit-hours course,” Tan said. 

But despite the high price tag, there’s 
no shortage of international students 
arriving every year. In 2006, there 
were 156 955 students from abroad 

These price tags seems to be linked 
to population, but not in the way that 
most would expect: despite having the 
lowest tuition fees for international 
students, Manitoba hosted only 4815 
of international students in 2006. 
British Columbia, whose schools aver¬ 
age the highest international tuition 
fees in the country, was home to 
44 799, a close second to Ontario’s 
58 308. 

‘The hike was so 
ridiculous, my parents 
thought I was lying.” 



Don Wehrung, executive director 
of international student recruitment 
at the University of British Columbia, 
suggested that low tuition can lead to a 
lower reputation on the international 

“A large number of students attach 
a price tag with quality,” added Neil 
Besner, Associate Vice-President 
International at the U of W. 

Tan sees some truth to this, adding 
that good reviews from peers, as well 
as international visibility, would help 
improve first impressions. 

That equation worked for the 
University of British Columbia. 
When the university opted to 
remove an international tuition 
freeze in 1996 in favour of more 
aggressive overseas recruitment and 
better services for international stu¬ 
dents, international tuition jumped 
from $5700 to $13 700 the next 
semester. Meanwhile, international 
enrollment also increased by 30 
per cent. 

“We signaled to the external com¬ 
munity [that] we were open and 
accessible,” Wehrung explained. 

Beyond individual universities, 
the provinces are also desperate to 
attract international students to 

help strengthen international ties and 
add to the labour pool. 

Even students who leave Canada 
after graduation are seen as potential 
“informal ambassadors,” Rollins said. 
They can help inform the interna¬ 
tional community about Canada, 
thus contributing to future relations 
and business. 

“A university is better if it’s more 
international,” Besner said. 

International tuition is more expen¬ 
sive because provincial subsidies 
don’t cover non-citizens, explained 
Rollins. It’s up to individual students 
to make up the difference. 

“[Schools] set their own tuition in 
the context of their institutional pri¬ 
orities and available services,” Rollins 

And international students seem 
willing to pay the price for a 
foreign BA. 

“I agree [we] should pay more 
because were using someone else’s 
resources,” Tan said. 

Canadian universities are also rec¬ 
ognizing that it takes more than the 
promise of a Canadian diploma to 
lure international students. Many are 
working on improving recruitment 
efforts abroad, along with their local 

Be part of {fog. Centre* of 


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T H E A T R E 



In Manitoba, postsecondary insti¬ 
tutions have discussed possible 
changes to their programs with the 
provincial government, and several 
new bursaries and scholarships for 
international students will become 
available next year. 

The University of Winnipeg will 
use 90 per cent of the differential 
fees for different programs and 
financial awards targeted towards 
international students. New hous¬ 
ing initiatives and improved inter¬ 
national advising are already in the 

Yet for middle-class students like 
Tan, it’s not the question of improved 
services or additional peers that 
matters the most. Amid the flurry 
of tuition increases, Tan seeks 

CK DENTON— base jumper, 
itirow donor, fantastic Jo 
experimental aircraft test] 
and founder of Gawker Media¬ 
te widely acclaimed as the greatest 
journalist—nay, man—in the world. 
Did you know that he got his start 
the ( Gafeway, rocking the b 
knuckles, no-holds-ba 
Fleet Stflfet-style journalism? 

While Gateway News doesn't 
necessarily condone drinking with 
your contacts^ to get info out of them, 
you're definitely free to exercise 
some serious investigationalism 
to land that big story. 


etings Fridays at 3 


Doing new media in a very old media way since 1910 

opinion@gateway.ualbertaca ♦ tuesday, 18 September, 2007 

Hunting day needs 
to be shot down 

at night multiple times a week. While the eerie quiet 
of campus after midnight is rather soothing, I’ve 
recently discovered a sinister scourge that plagues our 
fine university. 

I counted 17 of them just last Wednesday during 
my stroll home, and with each one, I quickened my 
steps. Rabbits: eating our grass, procreating at a rapid 
pace, loitering in our green spaces, looking cute, and 
generally causing no problem whatsoever other than 
being there. 

As I finally reached the safety of my home, I 
slammed and locked the door, poured myself a stiff 
whiskey to try to ease the anxiety shakes caused 
by all those bunnies, and was relieved as I glanced 
down at the newspaper to discover that the Alberta 
government has named 22 September “Provincial 
Hunting Day.” 

The declaration is in response to a significant drop 
in hunters in our province, a reality that’s being 
caused by “television, computers, and shopping 
malls,” according to a news release from Sustainable 
Resource Development Minister Ted “The Man” 

“We hope that Provincial Hunting Day will give 
young Albertans the opportunity to experience the 
outdoors and build greater respect for wildlife,” 
Morton said. 

I’m not necessarily against hunting for any ethical 
reasons, but defending the activity under the ethos 
of a “respect for wildlife” is dubious at best. In fact, 
shooting an animal in the heart and then posing 
over its lifeless body with a mile-wide grin seems 
to be about as far away from respecting wildlife as 
you can get. It’s akin to stacking up naked POWs 
at Abu Ghraib and snapping a few shots for your 
MySpace page. 

The idea of “natural conservation,” which has 
also been long-associated with hunting, is another 
questionable mantra to apply to the shooting of 
animals, for similar reasons. Hunting is often lauded 
as important in controlling animal populations, but 
that seems like a slight exaggeration. The reason we 
see more and more wild animals heading into urban 
areas is because humans are constantly encroaching 
on their habitats. Leaving enough space to sustain 
animal populations seems more fitting than expedit¬ 
ing nature’s course with bullets. 

Lastly, there are no legitimate sporting roots for 
hunting. A sport is defined as “an activity involving 
physical exertion and skill in which an individual 
or team competes against another or others for 
entertainment.” I’ll give hunting the physical exer¬ 
tion and skill part—and even the entertainment facet 
if you enjoy seeing things die—but moose won’t 
return a volley of shots, deer can’t draw a bowstring, 
and bears (though godless killing machines) don’t 
stand much chance against a .300-caliber rifle with 
a scope. 

Hunting rose out of necessity for food. When 
humans were able to domesticate animals, the origi¬ 
nal need for hunting died out; we just found it rather 
enjoyable to continue to taking the lives of animals, 
as it was considered barbaric to take the lives of one 
another outside of the realm of war. 

Instead, with the numbers of hunters beginning to 
dwindle, maybe it’s time to let the activity die a slow 
agonizing death—like an elk shot in its hind quarters. 
There’s a reason young people are turning to televi¬ 
sion, computers, and malls rather than hunting: most 
people don’t actually find killing things an enjoyable 
pastime—at least, not in real life. 

An awareness campaign on how great it is to kill 
things is a waste of taxpayers’ money. You’re not 
going to convince what’s now a more socially aware 
and urban-based class of young people that hunting 
is an essential part of life. Perhaps a more realistic 
approach to pro-hunting campaigns needs to be 
taken: ads filled with bleeding animals, Dick Cheney 
shooting old men in the face, and images of animals 
being skinned for superfluous products and tro¬ 
phies will probably move just as many extra hunting 
licenses as Provincial Hunting Day will. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shoot some 
rabbits for the hell of it. 

Deputy News Editor 

Of course I never 
committed armed robbery. 

did do 


used this dock 



Crude comics a let-down 

As a long time reader of your 
publication, it's with a heavy heart 
that I write this letter regarding 
the Gateway's comics section (re: 
"Mich Mich" 13 September). As 
a frequent reader, I'm not one to 
complain about artwork or levels 
of humour, as I can appreciate 
that a student newspaper is where 
fledgling comic artists cut their 

But seriously, Gateway: a poop 
joke? The Mich Mich that ran in 
the 13 September issue made me 
question some of your editorial deci¬ 
sion making. The Gateway should be 
demanding nothing short of the best 
from their contributors, not trotting 
out the same old, tired tripe from 
Shaun Lyons week after week. 

Yes, shit is brown and would stain 
a toilet seat, Har, har, har. Is this really 
the type of humour you're striving 

I understand that you may not 
have an excess of artists willing 
to draw a weekly strip, but that 
shouldn't be the justification for 
running a piece of seriously sub- 
par work. I would much rather see 
a new comic struggle than watch a 
strip like Mich Mich fail to strive for 
anything past the lowest common 

I'm by no means suggesting you 
censor your contributors Gateway, 
just please exercise a little quality 


Science IV 

Gateway editorial fails to 
see both sides of the issue 

I'm shocked at the complete lack 
of objectivity in Conal Pierse's edi¬ 
torial about Elections Canada's 
decision to allow veiled women to 
cover their faces when presenting 
photo ID at the polling station (re: 
"Harper's actions just veiled racism," 
13 September). 

Mr Pierse fails to point out that 
Muslim women who wear veils 
didn't even want it in the first 
place. Groups representing Muslim 
women have said that they have 
no problem showing their faces for 
identification purposes. 

Many Muslim women have 
expressed their frustration that 
they weren't consulted on this issue 
and that this decision was made by 
people who apparently know little 
about the veil, 

In addition, Mr Pierse fails to indi¬ 
cate that the leaders of all the major 
federal parties—including Stephane 
Dion and Jack Layton—have pub¬ 
licly disagreed with Elections 
Canada by stating that they believe 
that Muslim women should show 
their faces when voting. 

Instead, Mr Pierse has singled 
out the Prime Minister in order to 
trot out the old, worn-out attack 
that the Conservatives are "scary." 

I think most people see through 
these pathetic attempts at paint¬ 
ing the Conservatives as something 
they're not and are pretty tired of 

This slanted piece of work 
isn't what I would expect from a 
newspaper like the Gateway that 
aspires to be credible. You would 
do better to provide more balanced 

editorials, rather than malicious 
ones like Mr Pierse's. 


Economics V 

Globe cooling in places 

While much has been made in 
the media about the extent of the 
summer melting in the Arctic, very 
little has been made of the record 
amount of sea ice forming in the 
Antarctic this year. Indeed, this is 
probably the first you've heard of 

Very quietly, the ice extent in the 
Southern Hemisphere (Antarctica) 
has reached its highest level since 
records began in 1979. According 
to NASA GISS data, the Antarctic 
has cooled by IF since 1957. This 
highlights an interesting dichot¬ 
omy in the way global warming- 
related topics are reported by 
the media, and presented by the 

Take for example, the Larsen Ice 
Sheet breakup in 2002, and the 
winter of 2004. The Larsen Ice sheet 
breaking up in 2002 received a lot of 
media attention (hint: it was in An 
Inconvenient Truth). What wasn't 
reported is that the breakup wasn't 
caused by global warming—it was 
caused by a spike in solar activity. 

Indeed, two years after the solar 
peak subsided, the winter of 2004 
was the coldest in the entire 50-year 
record of South Pole temperatures. 
That's right, coldest 

And since 2002, the Larsen Ice 
sheet has refrozen and even grown. 
This past year has seen cold and 
snow records set in Australia, South 
America, and Africa—facts that 

received very little play in the news. 

Now, before I get a bunch of angry 
replies calling me a global warming 
denier, let me say that I do believe in 
climate change. The planet's climate 
is a system of immensity and com¬ 
plexity beyond our easy understand¬ 
ing, but to suppose that it's static is 
to ignore all evidence. 

What I do question, however, is 
how the proponents of man-made 
global warming (and the skeptics 
to a lesser extent) selectively pick 
only certain evidence, ignore whole 
swathes of conflicting data, crush 
dissent, claim consensus, and don't 
even enter into a real debate. If the 
science is clear, try and explain away 
the Antarctic data. 


Materials Engineering IV 

Girls not angry for once 

Where the hell are all the feminists? 
There are two things I've seen in 
a couple weeks that've made me 
wonder why I don't hear screaming 
feminists anymore. 

First, Britney performed at the 
VMAs. Sure, her performance 
may have sucked ass, but that's 
not what got the media's attention. 
Apparently, she's fat and embar¬ 
rassingly out of shape. If they think 
Britney is fat, I'd hate to see what 
they call "regular" women. No 
wonder she went crazy. 

Secondly, every day I take the 
LRT, I see degrading ads for Slice 
TV. Particularly, one showing the 
woman saying, "If I wanted to be 
smarter, I'd watch a book." What 
the hell? 


THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 5 

opinion 7 

Quit sullying tuition s good name 

If you re planning on going out and protesting it, make sure you do it right 



own with tuition: it’s a cry 
often heard on campuses 
across Canada these days— 
especially here at the U of A—but if 
you stop sticking it to the man long 
enough to think about it, it becomes 
apparent that this particular turn 
of phrase is counter-intuitive to say 
the least. 

That’s because tuition actually 
means instruction, with the money 
you pay for said instruction being 
your tuition fees. 

Far be it from me to resist linguis¬ 
tic change, however, as the mean¬ 
ings of most all of the words we use 
in the English language today have 
changed by degrees since their incep¬ 
tion (including “tuition” itself, which 
comes ultimately from a Latin word 
meaning guardianship). 

Indeed, as a sign of the times, the 
Canadian Oxford Dictionary—the 
“official dictionary of the Canadian 
Press,” don’t you know—has the mon¬ 
etary sense as the primary meaning 
of tuition, with the instruction itself 
coming in a close second. 

Still, you can impress your friends 
at protest parties by saying “up 
with tuition” and then proceeding to 
explain the word’s etymology—pro¬ 
vided, of course, that your friends are 
a bunch of English nerds. Otherwise, 
you’ll just end up being unpopular 
like me. 

Fortunately, I’m beginning to find 
myself in good company in demand¬ 
ing more from my university (okay, 

so technically speaking, it’s my 
alma mater now, to use some more 
fancy Latin words). Namely, the 
Students’ Union and its council (well, 
some of it, anyway), who have, with 
the recent Bear Scat/Tracks scandal— 
dare we say, Bearsgate?—decided 
to draw a line in the proverbial sand 
and insist that the University be 
responsible for providing students 
with a decent online registration 

Still, you can impress 
your friends at protest 
parties by saying up 
with tuition and then 
proceeding to explain 
the word s etymology— 
provided, of course, 
that your friends are a 
bunch of English nerds. 

Say what you will about the way they 
handled Bear Scat—and coupling the 
student response so far with good old- 
fashioned common sense, I’m going to 
say that they screwed it up big-time— 
the SU has, in sticking (probably too) 
tightly to their guns, undertaken a subtle 
but important shift in the way they do 
business. That is, a shift away from 
complaining about how much 
university costs, and towards 
coming to terms with this cost and 
demanding more bang for their 
educational buck. 

Most, if not all, of the last ten or so 
SU execs—and certainly the last four 
or five—have focused almost entirely 
on the admittedly unjust increases to 
tuition fees in our province. But given 
the reality that there’s almost certainly 

no way of getting the University 
or the government to actually rescind 
on these increases—as well as the 
annual caps that have been imposed 
on them—simply railing against 
these annual single-digit increases 
out of principle seems increasingly to 
be a waste of time. 

If, however, you insist on jump¬ 
ing on the protest train, then at least 
try to take some free tuition from the 
French: student groups in Quebec are 
now threatening “an unlimited gen¬ 
eral student strike” in response to their 
government’s de-freezing of tuition 
fees for the first time since 1994. 

How Quebec students can live in 
complete denial of inflationary forces 
for so long is beyond me—as is how 
students can, strictly speaking, go on 
strike, seeing as they aren’t employed 
by the universities or producing 
much of anything (other than, per¬ 
haps, potential future value for the 
labour pool). I suppose threatening to 
withhold payment is the force at 
work here. 

But the fact remains that if you’re 
going to protest something, you’ve got 
to go all out. And one of these Quebec 
student coalitions—the Association 
Pour une Solidarite Syndicale Etudiante 
(ASSE)—is doing just that, going so 
far as to demand that tuition be free. 

Though it’s a bit of a stretch, go big 
or go home I say. Why not demand 
the same here in Alberta, where 
our government could realistically 
afford it? 

Instead, we’re content with think¬ 
ing that maybe somebody should 
do something about that gosh darn 
tuition thing one of these days. 
At this rate, “tuition” will simply 
come to mean “increase,” and stu¬ 
dents and linguistic purists alike will 
have something new to complain 

Rogue candidates would spice up elections 

“All of a sudden, polling stations would be packed 
with every last voter in the city, each casting their 
ballots to ensure someone with a good conscience 
and desire to do good in the city would get into 
public office, and not some disgruntled clown with a 
vendetta against mimes.” 

P eople just don’t seem to care 
about municipal elections. Not 
that that’s news, but I mean, 
people don’t care even a little bit. 
In fact, the last time that Edmonton 
held mayoral elections, the turnout 
was a paltry 42 per cent—and that 
was a marked improvement from 
the 35 per cent turnout the election 
before that. 

At this point, the municipal gov¬ 
ernment is practically chosen by 
aristocratic means, since a minority 
of the population is now represent¬ 
ing the whole. 

The general attitude is “Who gives 
a fuck?” despite the fact that the 
people sworn into office from these 
elections are in control of hundreds 
of millions of dollars and make 
decisions that significantly effect 
the people of the city, be it in their 
management of the roadways, public 
transportation, municipal employees, 
or even recreation programs. 

Clearly, with the current atti¬ 
tude of apathy still prevailing in the 
face of all that the City Council is 
responsible for, we’re past the point 
where a simple advertising campaign 
could bring back some semblance 

of majority representation to the 
municipal elections. 

We’re in Hail Mary territory here, 
and I’ve got just the play to run: all 
that we need to do to get people back 
to the voting booths is to grant the 
mayor and all those with seats on 
Council total immunity from the 

No crime they commit, no matter 
how heinous, could ever be brought 
before a judge. No matter how many 
laws they broke in full view of the 
public, the police couldn’t lay their 
hands on them. Just imagine a city 
where the mayor could drive to work 
drunk. In a tank. On the wrong side 
of the road. Throwing hard drugs to 
school children. While uttering racial 

All of a sudden, polling stations 
would be packed with every last voter 
in the city, each casting their ballots 
to ensure someone with a good con¬ 
science and desire to do good in the 
city would get into public office, and 
not some disgruntled clown with a 
vendetta against mimes. 

Additionally, it would make the 
race for municipal office a much 
bigger and showier event. Mob bosses 

would pour money into their cam¬ 
paigns in hopes that they’d be able 
to deal drugs and whack snitches 
with disdain for the police. The cra¬ 
zies would campaign like, well, crazy 
for the opportunity to take their 
insanity to the next normally illegal 
level. And all the while, the legitimate 
candidates would be required to 
work twice as hard in order to con¬ 
vince the public of their convic¬ 
tions and that they don’t harbour 
a secret desire to go to the near¬ 
est nursing home and beat up the 
residents. The entire democratic 
process would be once again revital¬ 

Naturally, all those working for 
Elections and Census Services will 
ignore this groundbreaking new way 
to approach municipal elections, 
because they don’t really give a fuck 
about city elections either. 

It’s a shame though, as the potential 
of electing a “rogue mayor” would 
really put the kick back in these 
elections—plus it would finally give 
me the opportunity to free myself 
from these societal shackles we call 
clothes. I guess I’ll just keep my fin¬ 
gers crossed. 


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Some people believe that a child wearing 
a bear costume is adorable. 

These people are traitors to our cause. 

If you want to discuss the growing problem of bear 
sympathizers, drop by one of our Four O'clock 
Thursday meetings in SUB 3-04. 


Watching out for bear spies since 1910 

Obesity isn’t a problem that can 
be solved just by sitting around 

If we keep accomodating larger individuals, they’ll have no pressure to change 



A s the 2012 Olympic Games 
in London draw nearer, 
preliminary preparations 
are underway to accommodate the 
large influx of both athletes and 

Among these is the widening of 
seats in stadiums so that larger indi¬ 
viduals can fit in them—something 
that contradicts the Games’ celebra¬ 
tion of physical fitness. 

Seats in Olympic venues can cur¬ 
rently box in people with ass-ends 
50cm wide—4cm larger than the 
previous 46. The official reason for 
this expansion is, of course, the clas¬ 
sic one: we must not discriminate 
against people on the basis of size 
or stature, and every effort should 
be made to allow all those who want 
to enjoy the thrilling events of this 
historic athletic competition to do 
so. Which, I think, is a total load of 

The last thing that these people 

should be doing is sitting down and 
watching athletic events—they’re the 
ones who should be down there run¬ 
ning around the track. 

If we want to fight gargantuan 
girth, making room for it isn’t the best 
way to go about it. I guess you could 
call it discrimination if you want, 
but is it really? People are free to live 
whatever lifestyle they choose. This 
doesn’t mean society should adapt 
itself in order to prop up unhealthy 

There’s something 
wrong with being 
overweight: it’s bad 
for your health. Just 
telling people doesn’t 
seem to be getting 
the message across; 
perhaps some societal 
pressure is in order. 

In essence, this is what we’re doing 
when we increase the seat sizes at 
stadiums. Moreover, it’s this kind of 
appeasement that allows the problem 
to go unsolved. 

I will grant that people whose 
weight issues arise out of genetic 
disorders or other factors beyond their 
control should perhaps be excused 
from the debate. But we shouldn’t 
make amends for people who are 
grossly overweight due to their poor 
eating habits or a simple lack of will 
to get rid of their schmeebs. 

We should do nothing to make 
these people more comfortable— 
maybe then they’ll choose to do 
something about their ballooning 

There’s something wrong with 
being overweight: it’s bad for your 
health. Just telling people doesn’t 
seem to be getting the message across; 
perhaps some societal pressure is in 

I’m not saying that upping the 
width of a seat will increase obe¬ 
sity, but I think this is symptomatic 
of a larger issue. Were telling these 
people, either directly or indi¬ 
rectly, that it’s okay for them to be 

If we stop accommodating them, 
they’ll either have to change or stay 
on their couch at home and get fatter. 
I should hope they prefer the former; 
unfortunately this won’t happen 
until both parties choose to flex their 
muscles a bit. 


If educated University women aren't 
willing to speak out, who will? I'm not 
saying you have to burn bras, stop shav¬ 
ing, and support abortion, but at least 
write a fucking angry letter. Jeez. 

Education V 

SU not servicing students 

There's one thing that escapes me in all 
this debate about Bear Scat: where do 
some SU executives get the idea that the 
sole function of the SU is lobbying? 

Part of the SU's mandate—the most 
important part, I would argue—is to pro¬ 
vide services for students. Students cer¬ 
tainly don't give the SU $65.75 per term 
just to lobby—that money is supposed to 
go towards providing useful services. 

Perhaps some executives, particularly 
Bobby Samuel, need to be reminded 
that the precious SU funds that they 
don't want going toward Bear Scat only 
exist because students pay SU fees each 
term, expecting services in return. 

Forget all this Dedicated Fee Unit gar¬ 
bage. We're already paying the SU for 
services, and I, for one, feel we're not 
getting much value for our money. 

I'd wager that Bear Scat is used by 
more students than any other SU ser¬ 
vice, and thus it is entirely reasonable, 
and should be expected, that the SU 
fund it out of the money we give them to 
provide services. 

SU executives: lobby all you like, feel 
righteous about it, but don't forget what 
we're paying you for. 

Computing Science IV 

Let’s trade notes, not germs 

Everybody stays up late cramming for 
exams and getting projects done, leaving 
us all on edge and run down. Although 
everybody loves university students, 
germs especially love us. We catch and 
amass diseases like they're Pokemon. 

I know while in the Tory bathroom 
holding your nose from the stink and 
thinking about the hot boy/girl you just 
boinked there last week, the last thing 
on your mind is to be washing those little 
extremities or yours. However, doing 
more than the usual rise—even an extra 
45 seconds—can go a long way to stop¬ 
ping the spread of germs. 80 per cent of 
germs could be killed if we all just washed 
our hands. Everybody thinks toilet seats 
and public restroom knobs have a ton of 
germs on them; however, most people 
don't realize that ATM machines and 
doorways have more. 

While sitting in a lecture theatre 
,the professor is muffled by coughing, 
right? Cover your mouth. Just because 
you're plugging away, it doesn't give you 
points of valour; you're making it hard to 

Yesterday, while answering some¬ 
body's question, they coughed openly 
into my face, and when I stopped talking, 
they asked me why? Are you retarded? 
You just coughed into my face. 

I don't want your germs going into my 
mouth; I don't even want your germs on 
my clothing. I'm sorry, but if you're sick, 
stay home. And please cover your mouth 
if you must be on campus, and stop blow¬ 
ing your load everywhere like a groom on 
his wedding night. 

Business Communications IV 

Letters to the editor should be dropped 
off at room 3-04 of the Students' Union 
Building or e-mailed to letters@gateway. 

The Gateway reserves the right to edit 
letters for length and clarity, and to refuse 
publication of any letter it deems racist, 
sexist, libellous or otherwise hateful in 
nature—especially if it's typed with caps 
lock on. The Gateway also reserves the 
right to publish letters online. 

Letters to the editor should be no 
longer than 350 words, and should 
include the author's full name, program, 
year of study and student identification 
number to be considered for publication. 



Maybe it's just me, but it seems as 
though campus is especially rich with 
ignorant troglodytes blessed with a 
bonus chromosome, to whom noth¬ 
ing in the world is more important than 
rocking out to some sweet tunes. 

While riding my bike through the 
bus loop yesterday, I encountered no 
fewer than five individuals who, for 
some counter-evolutionary motivation, 
seemed to prefer being hit by a speeding 
cyclist than to take a few seconds away 
from Kanye's new album and look both 
ways before crossing the street. 

I even went out and installed a shiny 
new bell on my ride this weekend for 
the expressed purpose of preserving 
the safety and well being of my fellow 
pavement-dwellers—but alas, my 
efforts have fallen upon deaf ears. At 
least, deaf to the world as it happens 
anywhere outside the musical radius of 
those irritatingly trendy white earbuds. 

I'm not sure if I'm more saddened by 
useless parents of these clueless won¬ 
ders, who apparently forgot to instill 
the importance of road safety in their 
crotch droppings at an early age; or 
the shit-mongers themselves, who not 
only provided me with an apt test of 
my brakes and navigational skills, but 
solidified my seething hatred for them 
with their looks of disdain, as if it's my 
fault for clipping them. 

While you're lying in the sack, being 
beaten with bicycle tires, I hope you 
realize that you've no one but your¬ 
selves to blame. 


The Burlap Sack is a semi-regular 
feature where a person or group who 
needs to be put in a sack and beaten 
is ridiculed in print. No sack beatings 
are actually administered. 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume XCVIII number 5 


WebCT deserving of more hatred 

“I’m pretty sure the saw was invented because 
trying to rip a tree in half with just bare hands was 
something very few people could do. So how is it that 
those behind the University’s online application Web 
Course Tools (WebCT) get away with calling their 
program a tool?”’ 

C orrect me if I’m wrong, but 
isn’t a “tool” something 
designed to make tasks easier? 
Wasn’t the hammer invented because 
pounding nails into the floor with 
one’s forehead was a little too demand¬ 
ing on the skull? 

I’m pretty sure the saw was invented 
because trying to tear a tree in half 
with just your bare hands was some¬ 
thing that very few people could do. 
So how is it that the people behind 
the University’s online application 
Web Course Tools (WebCT) get 
away with calling their program a 

As it happens, I have the pleasure 
this semester of being registered in 
a first-year course, and chuckled to 
myself when my professor told the 
bright-eyed freshmen that all notes 
would be on, as he put it, “the spawn 
of Satan known as WebCT.” 

The freshmen innocently tittered at 
this comment thinking this was just 
a joke; I chuckled knowing that they 
would soon discover it wasn’t. For 
those who’ve never had the pleasure 
of using WebCT before, allow me to 
break down the procedure into three 
simple steps: 

1) On the login page, enter your 
CCID and password. Hopefully, this 
will be one of those days where 
WebCT actually recognizes it. 

2) After a brief wait (usually six or 

seven millennia), your “blackboard” 
should have loaded. This is your 
personal homepage on WebCT, and 
it’s as archaic and outdated as it 
sounds. On it, you will find links to 
each of your courses that use the pro¬ 

I should note at this point that 
you will only get this far if you have 
a web browser compatible with 
WebCT, you have cookies enabled, 
java installed and enabled, and you’ve 
turned off your pop-up ad blocker. 
Basically, to use WebCT, one must do 
everything they can to expose their 
computer to viruses and spyware— 
well, everything besides browsing 
free porn sites. 

3) Select a course, and follow the 
links to the lecture notes you desire. 
Click on the link for these notes, 
and wait a few more millennia for 
them to load. Which they usually do. 
Eventually. God willing. 

Now if, for whatever reason, they 
don’t load, I’m afraid that’s the end of 
the line. Don’t even think about click¬ 
ing on “save target as” and seeing if 
that works, because “no such inter¬ 
face is supported.” If you want to see 
notes, you have to see them using 
the WebCT program first. If it isn’t 
working, you could contact AICT 
or the WebCT help desk, but they’ll 
likely just assure you that there’s no 
problem, and that even if there was, 

it probably originated with the user 
(read you). 

Now, I’ve taken a few computer 
courses in my time, and I can even 
do some coding and programming, 
so when told I don’t know how 
to use a computer, I’m offended. 
Furthermore, I really don’t think 
it’s because my brand-spanking-new 
computer doesn’t have enough RAM, 
or that it can’t process quickly enough. 
The problem either lies with WebCT, 
or Windows Vista, or E-learning, or 
Blackboard Learning, or whatever 
“catchy” name they’re calling the 
minion of Lucifer today. 

After WebCT has failed me once 
again, I cry quietly inside—or, alter¬ 
natively, bubble with rage. Feel free to 
do either—usually, I go with bubbling 
with rage for the rest of the day. 

So, to the University administration: 
If you really want the U of A to be a 
world-renowned institution, WebCT 
(and Bear Tracks) have got to go. 

Instead, there should be a single, 
functional site where students can 
go to check their email, register for 
courses, download notes, and pay 
tuition. Until you understand this, 
our university and its students will 
just be seen as dimwits living in 
the primitive days of “blackboards” 
who, like stupid tools, pour money 
into the pockets of WebCT and its 

The frustrations of snail mail can now 
be experienced online thanks to U of A 

I t exists among us, completely 
undetected, while were hypnot¬ 
ically distracted by something 


Day by day, it chugs along, hoping 
that nobody will notice it and expect 
it to change. It breathes a quiet word 
of thanks to others like it for the 
recent attention they’ve been receiv¬ 
ing, happy that our eyes are being 
directed far, far away from its own 

But though its powers are lim¬ 
ited and people are frequently frus¬ 
trated by it, they say nothing. Others 
just ignore it or pretend it doesn’t 

This scourge is closer to us than 
we can imagine, and it’s not going 
anywhere soon. Students on this 
fair campus have been embroiled 
in a discussion about Bear Scat and 
Bear Tracks, but have forgotten that 
there’s another University computer 
service that truly deserves our atten¬ 
tion. I suggest that students take off 
their scat-covered blinders and turn 
their indignation towards the true 
bane of a U of A student’s existence: 

Bear Tracks is a dream compared 
to the useless WebMail. My unsuc¬ 

cessful attempts to send attachments 
with it are outnumbered only by 
Lindsay Lohan’s failed attempts to 
dry out. And how often is WebMail 
“temporarily unavailable” or pain¬ 
fully slow? 

What’s more, the U of A green and 
gold interface is butt-ugly, and the 
abundance of folders has always baf¬ 
fled me. WebMail is way more convo¬ 
luted than it needs to be, which makes 
navigation tedious. 

Until students stop 
complaining about 
Bear Tracks and turn 
their attention to 
WebMail, this train 
wreck will continue 
frustrating students. 

Some may ask why I don’t just use 
another email service. I do—but 
I like using my U of A account for 
things like job applications. I prefer 
to deal with all my professional com¬ 
munications through my WebMail 
account, as I feel that a university 
email address projects a more busi¬ 
ness-like image. 

But perhaps the best thing about 
my other email account is the sheer 
amount of spam that I receive. 
Nothing beats reading a really stupid, 
funny, or nonsensical subject line 
on a spam message. I mean, how 
can WebMail’s spam filters deprive 

us of reading hilarious subject lines 
such as, “Hottest new offer but 
without any results” or “No no 

While I don’t actually open any of 
that spam, some of those messages 
are so chock-full of suspense that 
they’ve come close to convincing me 
to open them. Take, for instance, a 
message with the subject line: “My 
name is. Can I ask you?” The antici¬ 
pation to find out what this mystery 
person wants nearly kills me, and I 
struggle with the temptation to open 
this message. It’s not easy. But if I use 
WebMail, that mystery is completely 

Until students stop complaining 
about Bear Tracks and turn their 
attention to WebMail, this train 
wreck will continue frustrating stu¬ 
dents. And really, is Bear Tracks all 
that bad? Sure, it’s far from perfect, 
and it could definitely be organized 
better, but I’ve never had it seize up 
on me or fail to perform a function 
that it’s designed to do. 

Like many of you, I use my email 
several times a day, but I certainly 
don’t access Bear Tracks with that 
same frequency. Email is often a con¬ 
venient way for students to commu¬ 
nicate with professors or to take part 
in some components of course work, 
so it’s much more crucial to have this 
working properly than the seldomly 
used registration software. However, 
until that happens, WebMail will keep 
clunking along under the radar, and 
students will simply have to grin and 
bear it. 




• Conduct interviews over the telephone from our centrally 
located call centre, accurately enter data into a computer 

• Absolutely no sales involved. 

• Position requires excellent telephone manner and typing skills. 

• Flexible scheduling with shift choices. 

• Company benefits plan. 

• $10.50 / hour to start, with performance based reviews. 

Please mail, fax or email your resume to: 

2nd Floor, 10304 - 108 Street, Edmonton, AB T5J 1 L9 

Fax: 780-485-5085 
Phone: 780-485-6558 



Arctic Sovereignty: 

MacEwan presents Dr. Michael Byers, professor, Canadian 
Research Chair in International Law and Politics from the 
University of British Columbia. % 

Dr. Byers will be discussing challenges for Canadian 
sovereignty, security and environmental protection. 

Thursday, September 20, 2007 

MacEwan’s City Centre Campus (10700-104 Avenue) 

Multi Purpose Room 

7-8 p.m. 




Edmonton Hispanic Bilingual Association 
Asociacion Bilingue Hispanica de Edmonton 



Distinctive Programs Hispanic Club 

Friendly,cultural learning environment 
Adults: 9 integrated levels 
Children/Youth: 4 levels by age 
Qualified instructional team 
Fall, Winter and Spring terms 
Families and seniors welcome 





Wednesday Evenings 

7 pm to 9:30 pm 
Classes start: September 26 

Saturday Mornings 

10 am to 12:30 pm 
Classes start: September 29 

Ritchie Junior High School 
9750 - 74 Avenue 

Ample parking and bus routes 

We are a registered (#50257836), non-profit society and 
heritage school recognized by Alberta Learning since 1981. 

Free membership with registration 
Social activities, dinners,dance workshops 
Annual Spring Latin Fiesta 

Cafe tertulia (weekly), films (monthly) 
Multimedia/periodical exchange service 
Volunteer Opportunities 


on two REGISTRATION dates 

SEPTEMBER 19: 7:30pm-9:00pm, or 
SEPTEMBER 22: 11:00am-12:30pm 

At later dates ask for your name 
to be added to the waiting list for 
possible openings. 

more info: 



or visit