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OPINION 


tlmisdiy. august 27, 2009 * www.Uicgainwiyi >n line.ca 


Fresh advice for freshmen: campus veterans spill secrets 



OPINION 

STMT 


Group 

Commentary 


So you’re standing in the middle of 
campus — dazed, confused, unsure 
of which direction to go. You can’t 
tell SUB from CAB from FAB. and 
don’t know why there’s some build¬ 
ing named after a ntrrle called Tory. 
You're clutching a bunch of over¬ 
priced books, wielding an over¬ 
priced lunch, and being crowded 
by thousands of other students, all 
of whom apparently know exactly 
where they're supposed to be. You 
can't waste the day wishing it’d slow 
down, so you’re going to need to 
pick up the pace. Welcome to your 
freshmen year, kids. It ain’t gonna lie 
easy. 

Luckily, the venerable veterans of 
Gateway Opinion are here to provide 
you — that’s right, you in the Grad 09 
hoodie — with valuable tips, secrets, 
and insights that can only be garnered 
from the hard-knock life experience. 
It would literally take hours of campus 
living to collect tips Like these, and 
who has that kind of time to waste? 

Mike Chafe 

Let’s face it; now that you’ve left the 
high school fish tank and moved 
into the vast ocean of postsecondary, 
you're going to have to make a few 
sacrifices. Soon you’ll kiss goodbye 
to such old friends as money, per¬ 
sonal hygiene, and of course sleep. 
University life will soon ravage your 
body, turning you into an insomniac 


zombie, just like that guy from the 
Twilight movies. So, what's a stu¬ 
dent with no time for actual sleep 
to do? Energy drinks are much too 
weak and cocaine is far too expen¬ 
sive. The solution is simple: sleep in 
class! With a few simple steps, you'll 
soon be spending your lecture hours 
dreaming. 

On die first day of classes. I’d 
advise quickly befriending the class 
keener. Keeners are usually found in 
the front row. transcribing out the 
professor’s every word and making 
copious notes about their normal 
notes. Having this person as an ally 
will provide peace of mind that while 
you sleep, you won’t miss any impor¬ 
tant information. 

Seating position is also important. 
Obviously, a front-row seat will be to 
your disadvantage in die an of lecture 
sleeping, but silting in the very back is 
also a rookie mistake for a new sleep- 
lecturer. Clioosing a seat in the middle 
is ideal as the crowd creates optimal 
camouflage to avoid the eyes of watch¬ 
ing professors. 

Finally, be sure to dress noncha¬ 
lantly. Even though your fluorescent 
orange t-shirt with "I put out on 
the first date!" bedazzled in rhine¬ 
stones on the front is cool, it tends 
to attract too much unwanted aiten- 
tion. Follow this advice and you'll lie 
getting your eight hours no problem. 
Sweet dreams. 

Mike Dadural 

So it's to your first year of university, 
and you're on your own. Let's get 
down to the heart of it — to whom 
can you turn? Beer? Porn? Food? 
Well, all of those work, but if you're 


not into alcohol and there isn't a com¬ 
puter in your immediate vicinity, 
fotxi will be the friend that provides 
you with a shoulder to cry on for the 
year ahead. 

If you find yourself hungry in 
HUB. Ho Ho's is your place ro go. 
For S5, you'll be treated to either 
rice or chow mein, with your choice 
of two other items. As small as this 
may sound, it’s surprisingly filling 
for something that’s inexpensive. 

Looking for a quick caffeine fix? 
Head to GAB — Tim Hortons is the 
place to be. It may be commercial, but 
you can snag a fresh (and dirt cheap) 
cup of joe for those long lectures or 
study sessions. 

For those who venture into the 
SUB food court, Marco’s should be 
a place to keep your eye on. For an 
average of S6, your taste buds will 
be treated to a cheesy, meaty, and 
delicious donair. It’s also good to 
keep in mind that on Tuesdays, Taco 
Time hosts its weekly Taco Tuesday 
where you can score a scrumptious 
taco for minimal cost. 

So there you have it, friends: diese 
are just some of the fine food estab¬ 
lishments you can head to for a quick, 
inexpensive bite to eat. But don’t go 
spending it all too quickly; last thing 
you'd want is a hole in your wallet and 
a bloated stomach. 

Robert Frigon 

The Orientation clubs fair contains 
more treacheries than its fair surface 
would imply. Be wary when walk¬ 
ing through the booths in Quad in 
the first week; they'll try and keep 
you from your wanderings searching 
for the allure of beer with draws for 
a free iPod or cash shower booths at 


the Ranch. I learned the hard way, as 
time and time again. 1 put my name 
down for these wonderful draws. 

But inevitably, thanks to dozens 
of loud, pushy students, 1 end up 
also putting my name down for 
many more activities: rowing club, 
swimming teams, outdoor excur¬ 
sions, mixed acapella chorus. Student 
Spelunkers Anonymous. Engineers In 
Space, Campus Conservative Party, 
and many, many more. Doubtless you 
will fall into rkis trap also, and with 
your spank y-new ualberta e-mail 
being spread around everywhere, 
you'll feel the loving glow of awe¬ 
someness and acceptance — though 
that mighi just be the beer tent kick¬ 
ing in. 

Of course, after your first week, you 
realize that you don’t have time for 12 
distinct groups, each with their weekly 
meetings and passel of daily welcome 
activities The real kicker comes when 
you actually log in to your new email 
account and find yourself wading 
though, sadly and literally, thousands 
of messages about events, fundrais¬ 
ing bakesales. killer parties, lawn dart 
tournaments, and the initiation that 
Delta Gamma wants you to attend, 
because in the one minute talk with 
them they realized you were a perfect 
Delta Gamma specimen. 

So please, go look at all the clubs, 
as they are an integral pan of your 
university experience; but please sign 
up for only the one or two you really 
warn. Otherwise, you'll still lx* delet¬ 
ing bible study group im itations well 
into October. 

Aaron Yeo 

Many of you freshmen will find 
yourselves experiencing a kind 


of newfound freedom, especially 
when it comes to money. Leaving 
your summer job with a fat wad 
of cash in one hand, and maybe a 
credit card in the other, your wallet 
will soon be empty and your credit 
card will be crying out for mercy. 
Lesson number one: University is 
expensive. A full course load costs 
you more than $5000 a year, not 
including books, and that's still 
ignoring the money you’ll have 
to shell out to. in short, live. And 
unless you’re still at home mooch¬ 
ing off your parents, rent and food 
don't come cheap. 

Additionally, the freedom of having 
cash with no one watching you spend it 
will see you going on many a shopping 
spree. Booze, coffee and $13 lunches at 
SUB are all important ingredients to the 
student life. And soon enough you'll 
even feel guilty for not owning at least 
three pieces of pricey clothing with the 
U of A logo on them. 

In the end, there is only one solu¬ 
tion I can see here — as much as that 
extra cup of Tim's or that smoothie 
may help, resist the urges. Contrary 
to popular belief, spending more 
money doesn’t make you a better 
student. Dish it out wisely and don't 
be afraid to be a cheap-ass. Students 
are stereotyped as being broke, so no 
one’s going to be looking down on 
you for tipping less than 15 per cent. 
Unless, of course, you’re not tipping 
at all, in which case you're fueling 
the vicious circle; chances are, those 
waitresses and bargirls are in your 
English class and are just as broke as 
you. 

Sam Brooks 

Don't take ECON 101. 'Nuff said. 


NEW COURSE 

Interdisciplinary Energy and Environment Course 
INT D 561 

Fall 2009 - Industry, Government and the Duty to Consult 


This course will examine the "Duty to Consult" from perspectives of the "interests at 
stake" including Business. Law. Native Studies and Indigenous Knowledge incorporation 
into environmental and engineering aspects of consultation, accommodation, and project 
approval. Leading authorities on consultation processes will participate in the course. 

Recent Supreme Court of Canada decisions require government to consult, and accom¬ 
modate. Aboriginal people, whenever their traditional lands and livelihoods may be affected 
by development. Governments, in turn frequently pass these consultation duties on to 
industry. 

The Supreme Court Case Haida states: 'the controlling question...is what is required...to 
effect reconciliation between the Crown and Aboriginal people with respect to the 
interests at stake.' 

The "Duty to Consult" has created new challenges for industry, communities and govern¬ 
ment. and a demand for well-informed professionals who contribute to the process and 
the progress of development initiatives. 


Class Times: Tuesdays 18:00-21:00 (Section XI. Class # 38038) 
Instructor: Ellen Bielawski. Dean. Faculty of Native Studies 
Location: CEB 331 



For more information, please visit the School of Energy and the 
Environment website at www.see.ualberta.ca 





* 


___ tliaxik TJ«=>u 

4 ^arLec^e! 


To thank University of Alberta students, 
faculty and staff for their support, 
Coca-Cola invites you to a Barbecue! 

* while quantities Init 



temlery? 

^ * 

afing a 


ever wonder why only Coca-Cola on campus? 

Coca-Cola has been the exclusive cold beverage supplier on campus for 
just over nine years. Through this joint agreement between the University, 
your Students' Union and Coca-Cola, over $4.5 million has been 
generated and given back to the U of A campus! 

how do these funds reach students? 

• funding bursaries and scholarships 

• supporting Graduate Studies’ special initiatives 

• sponsoring events such as Week of Welcome, United Way 

Sub Day and the Turkey Trot 

• supporting athletics and sport camps 

So, the next time you reach for your Coca-Cola, enjoy it 
knowing you are supporting these great programs on campus. 

UNIVERSITY OF 




^ALBERTA