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THE gateway ♦ volume C number I 



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P/T Receptionist required at University area 
Sports Injury Clint Position otters campus 
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communication and customer service 
skills Phys Ed, Kinesiology or Physiology 
background interest in Health Care and 
previous reception experience are assets 
but not required. Position requires a 
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Work with children this year! Walk to 
work from campus! U area childcare 
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work with school-age children Excellent 
opportunity tor Education students! Smtts 
are 3 15-5 45 pm, Monday-Friday. or any 
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Welcome back, eve-yone! It's n ee to see 
everyone's smiling laces. Or grumpy faces. 
I honestly don't care about your face, as 
long as your face's eyes are reading the 
paper n front ot you. What are you most 
excited about this year? Really? Toat's a 
dumb answer. Why don't you come up with 
something better? Okay, be ise that then 
Personally. I'm excited about my tte sister 
coming to the University this year. Sne's 
studying something : n Arts — linguistic 
history, or some crap like that Maybe I 
should care a bit more, but I'm more focused 
on keeping her away from an of you. Yes, 
that's right — you. the depraved Gateway 
reader I read your survey response last 
year, and I know how you scored on the 
Purity Test, and alter muen thinking. I've 
decided I don't want any ot you near he- 
Best of Hick in future romantic endeavours, 
though, judging from how you answered 
question 37, you'll need it. 



—-J ■ 


Back to School Edition 

The Crossword runs semi-regularly 
with the answer available at 


5. The Faculty; Take me to your 

7. Who plays Claire Standish? 

10. "O Captain! My Captain!" 

12. "Mrs._, you're trying 

to seduce me, aren't you?" 

13. Opted not to eat mice in Road 

14. Magic School. 

15. "If you wanna be the teacher’s 
pet/baby you just 


16. Matthew Perry at 17 (Again!) 

18. Goodwill_. 

21. The Perfect_. 

22. South Harmon Institute of 

24. Saved by the Bell: Weekend in 

26. "Dear Diary, my teen-angst 

bullshit now has a_* 

27. "Who's your daddy and what 
does he do?” 

29. "_magazine day!" 

30. The New Guy 

32. Vote for_. 

34. Based on the book Queen 3ees 
and Wannabes. 

37. Bathroom psychiatrist. 

39. Mandy Moore as a Jesusfreak. 

40. Undercover reporter goes back 

to high school 

41. What stained Carrie’s prom 

42. The original American Pie. 

1.10 Things’s Guidance couselor Mrs. 

Perky says, _’ is the term 

used most often." 

2. Louanne Johnson: "There are no 
victims in this 

3. Elle Woods' Beau 

4. Teen Movie Spoof: "Oh it’s already 


6. Mona Lisa Smile's lead. 

8. Jim Sturgess' dream school in 21 

9. Stuttering Hal Hefner joins the 

debate team. 

11. Cautionary_. 

17. "We're going streaking!" 

19. Hilary Swank's first movie role. 

20. They went on Double Secret 

22. The mean girl of High School 

23. Ferris Bueller's Girlfriend 

25. Michael J. Fox was a Teen_. 

28 Tnora Birch in Ghostworld. 

31 Orange County's druggie older 
brother Lance. 

33. Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance 
35. The most vagina-llke flavor of pie 
36 Two main cheer teams of Bring It 

On. Toros and_ 

38. Revenge of the_