Skip to main content

Full text of "The Gateway (2011-03-29)"

See other formats

U of A lays off community relations director 

AARON YEO U of A for three years after leaving his 

■■" :; _ post as city councillor, and said that he 

was surprised at the news. 

Despite recent tense relations between “I had not realized that the posi- 

the University of Alberta and commu- tion for community relations was 

nities around campus, the U of A has being considered for elimination 
laid off Michael Phair, the director of under the reorganization plan at all,” 
community relations, for reorganiza- he said. According to an article by the 
tion and restructuring purposes. Edmonton Journal, his position was 

Phair’s position was formally elim- cut due to budget concerns, and Phair 
inated as part of reorganization in the was offered a one-year contract to 
department of university relations. continue, but turned it down. 

A new job for an executive direc- Provost Carl Amrhein and Vice 

tor for university relations has been President (University Relations) 
posted on the U of A’s website, which Debra Pozega Osburn were unavail- 
slightly differs from Phair’s position able for comment as of press time, 
by including work beyond local com- However, a memo was sent out by 
munity connections, in national and Pozega Osburn last week, explaining 
international relations. the situation to deans, directors, and 

Phair had been working with the chairs. It cited issues of redundancy 

and overlap as reasons for “realigning university needs to continue its efforts 
existing resources.” in those regions. 

“The new structure will ensure “There’s no question that the rela¬ 
the integration and co-ordination of tionship with the local communi- 
University Relations activities in sup- ties is important for the university,” 
port of the university’s reputation he said. “I think that although there 
building, relationship development, have been steps that we’ve taken over 
and community engagement objec- the last couple of years to grow that 
tives,” read the memo. relationship, there were and continue 

There have been a number of ongo- to be a number of thorny issues that 
ing disagreements between the U of A need to be handled, and I know the 
and communities surrounding its cam- university will find a way to address 

puses, such as issues with the Go Centre those issues. 

at South Campus and a proposed park- “They’re doing things differently, 
ing lot at Campus Saint-Jean. and as a result the position is no longer 

Phair said his efforts were mostly needed.” 
focused on building strong relation- Until an executive director gets 
ships with the Bonnie Doon and hired, Phair’s responsibilities will be 
downtown communities around divided up among the staff at the uni- 
Enterprise Square, and he feels the versity relations department. 

Politician or kid? 

It’s hard to tell politicans 
apart from children. Our 
handy guide will help you 
keep track this election. 


The Puck Bears fell 
short this weekend at 
CIS nationals, losing 
two games in a row and 
finishing their season 
without a medal. 


Failure in 



A cappella group 
Naturally 7 mesh R&B, 
hip-hop, and gospel using 
nothing but their voices. 



volume Cl number 43 ♦ the official student newspaper at the university of alberta ♦ ♦ tuesday, march 29, 2011 

Yamagishi beats McBean for VPSL 

utive who had already been elected to X i ] mair 

Colten Yamagishi was elected as the their positions. The Student Life race E 


Deputy News Editor 

Colten Yamagishi was elected as the 
Vice President (Student Life) to the 
Students’ Union executive Friday 
night with 50 per cent of the first- 
place votes, beating out rival candidate 
David McBean. 

Yamagishi is looking forward to 
starting the job and working on bring¬ 
ing his platform to life. He plans to 
focus on the campus musical and the 
services that he had proposed during 
the election, such as a gender diversity 
centre and a campus thrift store. He 
said that he hoped to set up the thrift 
store by the beginning of the upcom¬ 
ing school year, and that he would try 
to maintain the momentum set by the 
previous Vice President (Student Life) 
in regards to large events. 

“We’ve already seen excitement 
over dodgeball; now it’s time to bring 
in new ideas to improve and enhance 
the SU. Also, the new services are 
things I’m going to be focusing on this 
summer, such as the summer U-Pass. 

“I’m really happy and I can get to 
work now, despite being two weeks 
behind,” he said. “The results were 
really, really close and I think that 
that’s good and because David and I 
ran very strong campaigns.” 

Yamagishi joins the four other 
members of the Students’ Union exec¬ 
utive who had already been elected to 
their positions. The Student Life race 
was originally slated to take place with 
the other executive races. However 
the Discipline, Interpretation, and 
Enforcement (DIE) Board ordered 
a new election for the contest after 
candidate David McBean sent out an 
email to orientation volunteers that 
was incorrectly approved by Chief 
Returning Officer (CRO) Jaskaran 
Singh. Singh resigned from his posi¬ 
tion after the board’s decision and 
Students’ Council appointed Alena 
Manera to be the new CRO. 

Competitor David McBean said he 
was happy with the calibre of ideas 
that were exchanged in the race, 
which was the only contested one in 
the entire executive election. 

“It was close — we were only 
separated by a couple hundred votes. 
We both tried our hardest,” McBean 
said. “We both know what needs to 
happen [with the Students’ Union] 
and that showed in our similar plat¬ 
forms. I think there are some changes 
that need to be made, and I feel we 
both addressed this during the cam¬ 
paign and brought those [changes] 
to light.” 

Manera was impressed with the 


HUG IT OUT Yamagishi (left) received 50 per cent of first round votes. 

relatively high turnout in this year’s 
combined Students’ Council and 
Vice President (Student Life) elec¬ 
tions. While only 3,034 undergradu¬ 
ate students, or 10.5 per cent, voted 
in the election, this was a dramatic 
climb from the 1,740 students, or 
6.1 per cent, who voted in last year’s 
council election. 

“I think it raises an interesting 
question: how do we ensure that the 
council election is getting turnout 

like this? How do we ensure that the 
councillors going into council cham¬ 
bers have a clear mandate from voters 
and have a high enough percentage?” 
Manera asked. 

“Some faculties are going at 20 per 
cent [voter turnout], which isn’t ideal 
— you want 100 per cent in an ideal 
world — but 20 per cent is a pretty 
clear mandate to be walking into 
council chambers.” 


tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 

2 news _ 


tuesday, march 29,2011 

volume Cl number 43 

Published since november 21,1910 
Circulation 7,000 
ISSN 0845-356X 

Suite 3-04 

Students'Union Building 
University of Alberta 
Edmonton, Alberta 
T6G 2J7 

Telephone 780.492.5168 
Fax 780.492.6665 
Ad Inquiries 780.492.6700 
Email gateway@gateway. ua I berta .ca 


editor-in-chief Jonn Kmech J 492.5168 

MANAGING EDITOR Justin Bell 1492.6654 

senior news editor Alexandria Eldridge 1492.7308 

deputynews editor Simon Yackulic 1492.6664 

opinion editor AlixKemp 1492.6661 

arts & entertainment editor Madeline Smith 1492.7052 

SPORTS EDITOR Matt Hirji 1492.6652 

photo editor Dan McKechnie 1492.6648 

design & production editor Lance Mudryk 1492.6663 

onuneeditor Jordan Ching 1248.1509 


business manager Ashleigh Brown 1492.6669 

ad sales manager Vikram Seth 1492.6700 

ad/graphic designer Vikki Wiercinski 1492.6647 

circulation pal Nick Frost 

circulation pal Kathryn Dutchak 

THE GATEWAY is published by the 
A Gateway Student Journalism Society 

(GSJS), a student-run, autonomous, 
apolitical not-for-profit organization, 
operated in accordance with the 
Societies Act of Alberta. 

THE GATEWAY is proud to 
be a founding member of the 
Canadian University Press. 


Comments, concerns, or complaints about the 
Gateway's content or operations should be first sent to 
the Editor-in-Chief at the address above. If the Editor-in- 
Chief is unable to resolve a complaint, it may be taken 
to the Gateway Student Journalism Society's Board of 
Directors; beyond that, appeal is to the non-partisan 
Society OmbudsBoard. The chairs of the Board of 
Directors and the OmbudsBoard can be reached at the 
address above. 


All materialsappearing in the Gateway bear copyright 
of their creator(s) and may not be used without written 


Opinions expressed in the pages of the Gateway are 
expressly those of the author and do not necessarily 
reflect those of the Gatewayor the Gateway Student 
Journalism Society. 

Additionally, the opinions expressed in advertisements 
appearing in the Gateway are those of the advertisers 
and not the Gateway nor the Gateway Student 
Journalism Society unless explicitly stated. 

The Gateway periodically adjusts its circulation between 
7,000 to 10,000 printed copies based on market 
fluctuations and other determining factors. 


The Gateway is created using Macintosh computers, HP 
Scanjet flatbed scanners, and a Nikon Super Cool Scan 
optical film scanner. Adobe InDesign is used for layout. 
Adobe Illustrator is used for vector images, while Adobe 
Photoshop is used for raster images. Adobe Acrobat 
is used to create PDF files which are burned directly to 
plates to be mounted on the printing press. Text is set in 
a variety of sizes, styles, and weights of FENICE, Joanna, 
Kepler and Whitney. The Manitoban is the Gateway's 
sister paper, and we love her dearly, though "not in that 
way.” The Gateway’s games of choice are 


Dulguun Bayasgalan, Bryan Saunders, Ryan 
Bromsgrove, Adrian Lahola-Chomiak, Paul Cresey, 
Wendy Trieu, Bobby Williamson, Zaineb Hussein, Scott 
Fenwick, Aaron Yeo, Aqib Shirazi, Sam Brooks, Evan 
Mudryk, Ross Vincent 
Skybox by Dan McKechnie 

Students go silent for LGBTQ awareness 


TALKTO THE HAND Students took a vow of silence last Friday and had to use other methods to communicate. 


News Writer 

University of Alberta students took 
a vow of silence last Friday for the 
annual Day of Silence youth move¬ 
ment for LGBTQ awareness. 

The event is based on the premise 
that many in the LGBTQ community 
feel pressure to keep silent in order to 
avoid the threat of stigma that institu¬ 
tions, society, and families inflict. The 
U of A student groups Siderite, a net¬ 
work for LGBTQ students in residence, 
and the Residence Hall Association 
organized the Day of Silence event, 
where participants didn’t speak all 
day, until they broke the silence at 3 
p.m. Around 40 students gathered, 
dressed in red to show their support, 
in the SUB Alumni Room to listen 
to three speakers who addressed the 
issues of bullying and discrimination 
that LGBTQ students face. 

All three speakers stressed the 
importance of being vocal on LGBTQ 
rights and spreading awareness to 
local communities. 

“Whenever you have a majority 
that does not understand, therefore 
fearful of the minority, there is some¬ 
times a tendency to react negatively. 
The best way to get around that is 
to create a relationship between the 
two,” said Rachel Notley, the ML A for 
Edmonton-Strathcona. “It’s so impor¬ 
tant for the members of the queer 
community and allies like myself to 
educate people. Not just on the bad 
stuff, not just about bullying, about 
the good things, the fun things. You 
make it familiar, you make it real.” 

Former city councillor Michael Phair 
and Dr. Andre Grace, the director of the 
Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and 
Services, both spoke and emphasized 
the importance of the political realm in 
shaping the rights and perspectives on 
the LGBTQ community. 

“You are the future politicians, 
future leaders in this country. Don’t let 
politicians off the hook — hold them 
accountable” Grace said. 

The speakers also addressed the fed¬ 
eral election that will be taking place 
in the coming weeks, and asked the 

crowd to not be silent and to make sure 
they are protecting and standing up for 
the rights of LGBTQ individuals. 

Siderite member Laura Groves said 
this year the group focused on bringing 
attention to the word choices people 
use casually without understanding 
the hurtful repercussions they have on 
many people, which also functions to 
perpetrate negative stereotypes. 

“I think the biggest thing is 
approaching your friends when they 
are using this language. If you hear 
someone say ‘that’s so gay,’ ‘fag,’ 

or ‘dyke,’ [you should] actually say 
something about it. It’s so difficult to 
be the one that speaks out, but that’s 
why this event is so important because 
the people that are participating were 
silent at one point, or recognized that 
there is this silence,” Groves said. “I 
think the most important thing to 
take away from this is challenging the 
word use and stepping up.” 

Groves explained that Siderite also 
tries to ensure that LGBTQ student 
residents are given equal rights and are 
living in a safe environment. 

As you may be aware, power usage in Edmonton spiked by one per cent for Earth Hour last Saturday. 

31 KCC I CIO What is the least environmentally friendly thing you r ve ever done? 

Compiled and photographed by 
Scott Fenwick and Matt Hirji 

Jen Toth 

Science IV 

Carol Woo 


Sean Urquhart 

Engineering II 

Dylan Gibbs 

Science III 

Yesterday, my friend was making supper I print off a lot of paper when I'm not sup- 
with me at her house, and we used bot- posed to, and my shower isn't energy- 

tied water to fill the kettle. I don't want efficient. I take long, hot showers, 

to admit that, it was her. [ Why bottled 
water?] She doesn't like tap water. I pro¬ 
tested, but we did do that. 

I just recently bought a huge, giant La-Z- When I shave, I like to have the water 
Boy chair, and I was lounging in it during hot, so I just leave it running all day long. 

Earth Hour. So that probably wasn't the I crank it up to 10, so we get some seri- 

best thing to be doing. It's got a mas- ous hot water there. That's the only thing 
sage and a fridge, so that's probably not I can think of. 
very good for the environment. Yeah, TV, 

XBox, lights. I didn't actually know it was 
Earth Hour until after, and that's probably 
the worst thing I've done. 




Full of ourselves since 1910 


THE GATEWAY ♦ volume Cl number 43 


Reuters editor discusses the 
disappearing middle class 


Sports Editor 

The rise of a ‘super-elite’ in society 
is negatively impacting the mid¬ 
dle-class job market, according to 
world-renowned journalist Chrystia 

Freeland, global editor-at-large for 
the Reuters news service, spoke to an 
audience at the University of Alberta 
last Thursday to discuss the rise of 
society’s hyper-wealthy. According 
to Freeland, the recent growth of the 
super rich has caused a widening gap 
between the haves and have-nots. 

“There has been a shift in the last 25 
to 30 years. In the 1970s, the top one 
percent of U.S income earners cap¬ 
tured approximately 10 percent of the 
national income. Now that number is 
closer to 25 percent. It’s a really big 
shift,” Freeland said. 

“To put that into perspective a 
little bit more, in 2005, Bill Gates was 
worth $46 billion and Warren Buffett 
was worth $44 billion. That was as 
much as the combined wealth of the 
120 million people at the bottom 
of the US income distribution. Two 
guys’ income equaled 40 percent of 
the total income made in the entire 
United States that year.” 

“If you can make the 
leap into the super¬ 
elite, then great, you’re 
made. But if you don’t 
get there, it’s going to 
be a very different, and 
a much tougher, life.” 



Throughout her lecture, Freeland 
gave stark insight into the levels of 
stratification of wealth that cur¬ 
rently exists in society. While she 
insisted that the new ‘gilded age’ 
is often billed as merit-based in 
nature, it remains exclusive to a few 

To elaborate on this idea, she 
provided what she describes as the 
“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 

situation.” While there are fewer 
barriers to entry in the new econ¬ 
omy, there is also a winner-take- 
all phenomenon which eliminates 
the opportunity for large groups of 
people to succeed. 

“We see on the one hand the 
opportunities for great success are 
greater than ever. For example, if you 
guys come up with a great internet 
idea, and you might, you could do it 
because you might have a great idea. 
My point is that it’s a golden-ticket 
phenomenon, because little Charlie 
can get the golden ticket, but there 
are only five of them. The rest of 
us are still going to become 

The result of this phenomenon is 
the “hollowing out of the middle 
class,” according to Freeland. As a 
result of the globalization and tech¬ 
nological shifts that eliminate the 

need for skilled labour, there are very 
few chances for individuals to earn a 
middle-class living. And as Freeland 
explained, this creates grim prospects 
for postsecondary students looking to 
enter the workforce. If individuals are 
unable to hit the jackpot and make it 
into the elusive elite ranks, they will 
be automatically relegated to the 
lower classes in society. 

“You are entering a really tough 
job market. Returning to the Charlie 
and the Chocolate Factory analogy, it 
really is the case that the pressure is 
on. If you can make the leap into the 
super-elite, then great, you’re made,” 
Freedland explained. “But if you 
don’t get there, it’s going to be a very 
different, and a much tougher, life. In 
a way, what we used to say — just 
follow your bliss and stuff like that 
— it’s kind of not true anymore. I feel 
sorry for you.” 

Elections Office overcame early hiccup 


Manera mentioned that the inclu¬ 
sion of the Student Life race in the 
council elections likely helped with 
voter turnout, and that her office was 
discussing whether holding refer¬ 
endum^ during council elections in 
future years would further improve 

Despite the relatively high number 
of students who voted, there were 
some problems that appeared early on, 
with voters unable to cast their online 
ballots during the first hour of voting 
last Thursday morning because of a 
tech problem. The problem affected 
217 students. 

“Right after we opened polls at 9 
a.m., before an hour of voting had 
elapsed, I started getting emails from 
people saying that they were getting 
this weird error page. So I contacted 
the tech guy, and he fixed it within 
five minutes,” Manera said. 

After the problem was fixed, the 
CRO sent out emails to the affected 
voters, and 182, or 84 per cent, voted 
again. Manera was clear that she didn’t 
feel the tech issue would “invalidate” 
the vote. 

“It was like if you were in a munici¬ 
pal election, and you put your ballot 
in a machine and the machine doesn’t 
work,” she said. “So what the poll clerk 
says is ‘sorry, this machine is down, 
you’ll have to come back and vote later.’ 
So you have to leave and come back 
later. Some people don’t come back 
later, which doesn’t invalidate the elec¬ 
tion. It doesn’t overturn democracy.” 

Most candidates in the council 
elections ran as independents; how¬ 
ever at the start of the election, there 
were two slates of candidates, a slate 
giving candidates involved the ben¬ 
efits of having both shared platforms 
and resources. While one of the slates, 
Students United for Progressive Action 

(SUPA), ran last year, this year slates 
that had multiple members in the 
same faculty were ordered dissolved 
partway through the election after the 
CRO asked the DIE Board to issue an 
interpretation on the election bylaw. 
This caused SUPA’s wing in the Faculty 
of Arts to be dissolved. 

One SUPA candidate, Aditya Rao, 
appealed the decision, and in a sub¬ 
mission to the DIE Board claimed that 
dissolving the previously approved 
slates would cause the election to be 
“irreparably tainted” since the slate 
candidates had been campaigning 
extensively as slate members. 

Of the six SUPA candidates in the 
arts faculty, four were elected. All seats 
in council were filled in the election. 
However, Vice President (Student 
Life) elect Yamagishi has resigned the 
seat he was elected to in the business 
faculty, and a by-election will be held 
to fill that seat in September. 

Teach English LSAT MCAT 
Abroad GMAT GRE 

Preparation Seminars 

TESOL/TESL Teacher Training 
Certification Courses 

Intensive 60-Hour Program 
Classroom Management Techniques 
Detailed Lesson Planning 
ESL Skills Development 
Comprehensive Teaching Materials 
Interactive Teaching Practicum 
Internationally Recognized Certificate 
Teacher Placement Service 
Money-Back Guarantee Included 
Thousands of Satisfied Students 


• Complete 30-Hour Seminars 

• Convenient Weekend Schedule 

• Proven Test-Taking Strategies 

• Experienced Course Instructors 

• Comprehensive Study Materials 

• Simulated Practice Exams 

• Limited Class Size 

• Free Repeat Policy 

• Personal Tutoring Available 

• Thousands of Satisfied Students 


1 - 800 - 269-6719 

604 - 683-3430 


Become a Medical Radiation 
Therapist, MRT(T) 

The Alberta Health Services - 
Cancer Care is expanding to 
include Radiation services in 
Red Deer and Grande Prairie. 

When open, these new 
Radiation Therapy sites will 
result in the creation of new 
Radiation Therapist positions in 
addition to current opportunities 
in Calgary, Edmonton and 
Lethbridge. The Alberta School 
of Radiation Therapy is looking 
for mature and compassionate 
individuals with exceptional interpersonal skills to join us in... 

Creating a Cancer Free Future 

The Alberta School of Radiation Therapy offers a 28 month education program, 
which includes didactic and clinical components. Upon successful completion of 
the program you will have the opportunity to plan radiation treatments, calculate 
radiation doses, and deliver radiation treatments while providing empathy, 
assessments and education to the patient with cancer. 

To speak to someone about this career opportunity, 
please contact the Alberta School of Radiation 
Therapy at 780-643-4641 or for further career 
information www.albertahealthservices .ca 

Grand Challenges Canada 
Grands Defis Canada " 0 




Watch Canadian innovators 
explain their bold 
ideas for solving 
global health challenges. 


Follow us on: 
 ♦ tuesday, march 29,2011 

deserve more 
from U of A 

University of Alberta aren’t happy — the past few 
years have seen one complaint after another. The 
Garneau community has raised concerns regarding 
the fraternity and sorority houses in their neigh¬ 
bourhood. More recently, serious issues have been 
raised about the new Go Centre, with residents in the 
Landsdowne area worrying about the planned South 
Campus expansion. As well, in Bonnie Doon, resi¬ 
dents are fighting the construction of a new parking 
lot to serve students at Campus Saint-Jean. 

But despite widespread discontent amongst its 
neighbours, the university has opted to lay off 
Community Relations Director Michael Phair, the 
man whose job it was to address these problems. 
According to Provost and Vice President (Academic) 
Carl Amrheim, Phair was relieved of his duties due 
to budget constraints. While that may be true, the 
decision still raises some serious questions about the 
university’s priorities. 

As students, we’re often oblivious to the deal¬ 
ings the university has with the communities near 
campus. The complaints coming from residents 
surrounding the U of A tend to seem minor, or silly, 
especially when they may deny us parking or housing 
near campus. 

Until recently, however, it was Phair’s job to 
smooth out such relations with these communities 
and hopefully find solutions that would allow the 
university to expand while not completely alienating 
residents living nearby. By all accounts, it was some¬ 
thing Phair was good at — while he served as a Ward 
4 city councillor for 15 years, Phair was incredibly 
popular with residents, and his appointment to the 
community relations position scored the university a 
lot of points with the locals back in 2008. Not surpris¬ 
ingly then, the lay-off has raised the ire of many, who 
now have every reason to worry that the university 
has opted to completely dismiss their concerns. 

To compensate, the university is creating an execu¬ 
tive director position within the university relations 
department to deal with local, national, and inter¬ 
national relationships. According to the Edmonton 
Journal Amrhein said this new position would be 
responsible for more than just relationships within 
Edmonton, and cited desires to connect with the 
Chinese community and China itself as a source of 
research partnerships. Students have long complained 
that the university sacrifices quality of teaching in 
order to push a research agenda, but if Amrhein’s 
comments are anything to go by, the university is 
now also potentially putting local relationships on 
the chopping block in order to court foreign research 
interests, in what is yet another public relations blight 
on their record. 

As for Phair’s position, Amrhein said his respon¬ 
sibilities would be spread among other university 
employees. “There will still be people to go to,” he 
insisted. However, community members had been 
complaining for years before Phair’s appointment 
that they didn’t know who to contact at the university 
about their concerns, especially since the school isn’t 
subject to city planning bylaws and thus worries can’t 
be directed to the City of Edmonton. Phair’s dismissal 
means that once again, residents have no clear indi¬ 
vidual to whom they can voice their complaints, but 
rather a vague subset of employees within the Office 
of External Relations. 

While the university’s current budgetary woes may 
require them to cut some positions, residents have 
every reason to be worried when the school elimi¬ 
nates the person whose job was to hear their concerns 
about the institution’s continued expansion. The 
University of Alberta needs to take a good hard look at 
its priorities and determine whether or not sacrificing 
the goodwill of surrounding residents is worth what¬ 
ever money they may have saved. If they continue 
to ignore or brush off such issues, they risk further 
alienation of the people they’re trying to negotiate 
with, and more damage to their public reputation. 

Opinion Editor 




Faculty of Engineering 
limits elective choices 

An open letter to the Dean of 

I am just taking the time to write 
a brief letter to let you know of my 
extreme disappointment in the 
changes in complementary elec¬ 
tive requirements in the Faculty of 

When I first entered the faculty, 
I was pleased to learn that I could 
take whatever history course I 
wanted for my first-year comple¬ 
mentary elective, so long as it 
satisfied an appropriate amount 
of credits and course time. Being 
an amateur historian of the Second 
World War, I took on a second level 
history course about the conflict 
(HIST 296), in which I scored an 
A-, I did this well in the course due 
not only to my hard work and time 
invested in the required essays, 
but also due to my enjoyment of 
the material. I valued the freedom 
given to me by the faculty to select 
a course that allowed me to learn 
about something that I enjoyed, 
that would diversify my education 
as an engineer. 

When I learned that I would 
be taking a second complemen¬ 
tary elective in the first academic 
semester of my final year at the uni¬ 
versity, I was looking forward to it, 
After much deliberation, I decided 

to enroll in HIST 326: Topics in 
History at the Movies, a course 
that would teach me to analyze 
history as it is presented in movies. 

I subsequently learned that this 
year's topic was 'the Holocaust 
on film,' and was pleased to know 
that I would be taught the tools to 
investigate and explore the subject 

Unfortunately, after a number 
of inquiries with the Faculty of 
Engineering, I learned that I would 
not be permitted to take the 
course, due to a new restriction 
allowing engineering students to 
take only the complementary elec¬ 
tives listed in Section 84.6 of the 
University Calendar. 

I am dissatisfied with the faculty's 
short-sightedness in limiting cur¬ 
rent and future students to a more 
narrow spectrum of courses. After 
all, the calendar states that 'each 
program contains complementary 
studies electives so that students 
may explore areas of particular 
interest' and that the Canadian 
Engineering Accreditation Board 
"requires that programs include 
exposure to the central thought 
processes of the humanities and 
social sciences.'' 

In my humble opinion, if a course 
satisfies the latter requirement and 
has the appropriate amount of 
credits, then an engineering stu¬ 
dent should be able to take said 
course. I am unhappy to knowthat 
the faculty has decided to neglect 
the former condition. Forcing 
every student to pass through the 
faculty to conform to someone's 

idea of 'proper' complementary 
electives only narrows the scope of 
education for those students.. 

Engineering IV 

from 3* 


Secular option not a 
good idea for Morinville 

RE: ("Catholic schools shouldn't be 
only option/' Jordan Ching, March 

Excellent job using isolated inci¬ 
dents on the East Coast to badmouth 
the Catholic education system whilst 
simultaneously maintaining a ste¬ 
reotyped, simplified summation of 
Christian views on alternative sexu¬ 
alities that fully illuminates both your 
ignorance and bias. You've already 
done half the work in refuting your 
argument by damaging your credibil¬ 
ity, but I'm going to continue by issu¬ 
ing a few facts (something Gateway 
opinion is particularly devoid of). 

Morinville, located in Alberta (I 
assume you have difficulty with 
geography as you cited education 
missteps in Ontario), has a popula¬ 
tion, as of 2009, of roughly 8,000. 
The last government statistics from 
2001, while being admittedly old, 
show a Catholic population of 46 
per cent, a Protestant population of 
32 per cent and a population of 17 
per cent without religious affiliation. 
Ten years is a long time for change, 

but it is doubtful there has been 
a major demographic shift in this 
small Albertan town. Establishing 
the idea of a Christian, albeit Catholic 
(I doubt you care to note the differ¬ 
ence) majority, the logistical work 
needed to set up a secular system for 
a small cross-section of the popula¬ 
tion is simply not worth the cost. As 
Michele Dick, the superintendent 
of the area, says, "If you have 30 
children whose parents would like 
them to have secular education, and 
they're dispersed from kindergarten 
to Grade 9, that becomes financially 

Combine this with the fact that the 
nearest secular schools are a mere 
20 minute drive away, and you find 
that establishing a secular school 
system in Morinville is, while princi¬ 
pally noble, pragmatically idiotic. 

Via Internet 

Letters to the editor should be sent 
to or 
delivered via paper airplane to SUB 
3-04. Website comments may 
occasionally be printed. 

The Gateway reserves the right 
to edit letters for length and clar¬ 
ity and to refuse publication of any 
letter it deems racist , sexist libel¬ 
lous , or otherwise hateful in nature. 
The Gateway also reserves the right 
to publish letters online. 

Letters to the editor should be no 
longer than 400 words , and should 
include the author's name, program , 
and year of study to be considered 
for publication. 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume Cl number 43 


Let’s be honest: Parliament is 
populated by whiny children 


Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us 
at f tweet @threelinesfree f or 
message us at 



W e just made it through 
the labyrinthine Students’ 
Union elections. For 
the majority of you, it was a gruel¬ 
ing month of ignoring the posters, 
hoping that it would eventually make 
them go away — and now were 
expected to pay attention to another 
federal election. 

What makes this one particularly 
difficult is that once you start follow¬ 
ing federal politics, it gets harder and 
harder to figure out if you’re watching 
grown men and women fighting on a 
national stage for the chance to repre¬ 
sent you or if you’re watching a collec¬ 
tion of children arguing over whose 
turn it is to play on the swings. 

Let’s start simple. If you see a couple 
of people in a heated argument, utter¬ 
ing things such as, “no, you’re it,” 
“nuh-uh,” and “yuh-hiih,” then you’re 
dealing with children. If, however, 
they are arguing about who caused 
an election — with Harper saying 
“the opposition forced it,” before 
Ignatieff retorts with, “no, it was the 
Conservative party,” which Harper 
rebuts with, “the left is conspiring 
to form a coalition,” prior to Layton 
adding, “the right is in contempt of 

Parliament,” until Duceppe finally 
finishes with, “I hate you all anyway, 
I don’t want to play with you any¬ 
more!” — then, humble voter, you’re 
dealing with politicians. 

Arguing isn’t the only time when 
the line between legislators and tod¬ 
dlers is blurred. There are other 
subtle behaviours to watch out for. If 
you have someone crying on demand 
to elicit sympathy from those around 
it to manipulate them into doing 
what it wants, then you have a child. 
Don’t give it the cookie — it will only 
encourage it. 

If you have someone 
crying on demand 
to elicit sympathy 
from those around it 
[...] then you have a 
child. Don’t give it the 
cookie — it will only 
encourage it. 

But if you see someone plead¬ 
ing with you to get elected, making 
promise after promise, saying they’ll 
do anything it takes if you’ll just give 
them your vote — and don’t let the 
other kids get any because they’ll 
ruin everything — then it’s a politi¬ 
cian. It’s not easy to distinguish the 
difference, I know. 

Throwing a tantrum when you don’t 
get what you want is pretty standard for 

a child. They really wanted that thing, 
and they think they’re the only person 
in the world who deserves whatever it 
is they’re whining about. So it’s under¬ 
standable that they’d be pretty upset, 
even angry, when they’re denied it. But 
if a politician doesn’t get what he or she 
wants in Parliament, he’ll do the exact 
same thing. Yelling is common, fol¬ 
lowed by finger pointing, and the only 
thing preventing an all out brawl is that 
they’re usually disproportionately old 
white men, and they wouldn’t want to 
break a hip. 

Finally, we should look at what hap¬ 
pens when somebody does get all the 
power. On the playground, the alpha 
dog rules with an iron fist, keeping 
his subordinates in line with rewards 
of candy and the rights to beat up the 
new kid, while ostracizing whoever 
dares defy him. In politics, it’s basically 
the same. When a politician ascends 
to power, they’ll settle in, put all their 
friends in important cabinet positions, 
and then run attack ads against the 
opposition, preventing any chance of 
working together collegially. 

The critical thing to remember 
here is that with children, they don’t 
know any better. They haven’t yet 
been alive long enough to properly 
understand the various social norms 
governing behaviour when around 
others, so we can excuse their mis¬ 
takes. Most of us acted the same way 
when we were kids, but eventually, 
we grew up and learned how to play 

Those who didn’t went into politics. 

Yes, the LRT stairs smell like piss. But 
they're also an excellent leg workout. 

Gateway: If you aregoingto publish articles 
about memes, you should be aware of how 
current they are. The only relevant one was 

Why is there only one coffee shop on 
campus that sells coffee that doesn't taste 
like it was perked out of someone's ass? 

Msg for Simon, News Editor: Check 
Likealittle. Someone from EDCUP left you 
a super sweet message a few days ago. 

to the girls who keep talking about the boy 
in the brown jacket in anthro 101, we know 
who you are. 

Single-dad Banana ended in such a tragic 
way I'll be needing a psychiatrist 

I haven't been to SUB since September 

To guy from last week: haha doing Kegel's 
in class, nice, I try to do them more often 
but I never can get into the habit. Anyway, I 
wish your penis good fortune and long life 

Winter snows avast! 

Edmonton awaits nice shoes; 

Alas! Fucking puddles.:( 

To K.C. Pastrami. 

Dear Healthweek Organizers: Put the DDR 
tournament after 5 on both days, and the 
GOOD players will show up. 
why anal you ask? to help with 'small dick 
syndrome' — a smaller hole for little willy 

To the girl that asked about guys obsession 
with anal: I have five words for you, "In the 
butt, no babies!" 

For those interested in joining the U of A's 
official Handsome Men's Club (Local 646) 
we meet every Friday, 5:30pm at RATT by 
thefoozball table. 

My cat's starting to look more and more 
appealing to me each's scaring me. I 
need a boyfriend pronto! 

To the John Doe we met in Cameron, it's 
a shame we couldn't keep in touch. -The 
North African girls. 

I wish I'd have been given a university 
bucket list when I started first year. Like free 
concerts every Monday in Convocation 
Hall! _ 

"PleasePlay Again"-the most disappointing 
phrase in the english language. 

Oh shit, I forgot to get down on Friday. 

Students should protest the poor 
coordination of the Organic chemistry labs 

Dear classmate sitting in front of me in 
my 9:30-11:00AM class on Tuesdays and 
Thursdays. Please take a goddamn shower 
after tennis or at least use deodorants. You 
smell like a rotten onion. 

Too much B.O. U of A students need to take 
showers more often. Gag! 

A course that should be required for all 
incoming students is proper hall walking 

Please stop spitting indoors! I've seen this 
in the Ruth L stairways and in the gallery. 
Spitting outside is gross too, but at least the 
rain washes it away. 

There needs to be a day off in late March 
for everyone to get their shit together. I'm 
so far behind and haven't registered for 

Dear shoulder slamming pansy in hub. Try 
me see what happens 

Dear king shit right way walking douche 
bag who wants to shoulder check me in 
hub-touch me and my knee connects 
with your balls :). Don't have balls? We'll 

The Gateway reserves the right to 
edit any submissions, as well as 
refuse publication of any submis¬ 
sion it deems racist, sexist, hateful, 
libellous, or overtly offensive. The 
Gateway cannot guarantee that 
your submission will be used (but 
we'll try). Submissions should be 130 
characters max (including spaces). 


i fTtfur **- 



' 1 v 1 ■ Iff 

. . • • 


i vi r. i. 

\ k " 

i • 

. a 

— 1 ; 


* " " l 

i * * 

f n 



I# I* 

• i 

m ‘ k* " 



OFF U of A Students! 

tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 


Proud art of prank calling still worth mastering 




T hese days, with the invention 
of caller ID and text mes¬ 
saging, it seems that prank 
calls havd more or less fallen by the 
wayside. But I’m not ready to sur¬ 
render this classic joke just yet; too 
many hours in my life have been 
spent trying to decide who to call 
and which prank to pull. So for all 
you wide-eyed, greenhorn, wan¬ 
nabe pranksters out there, here are a 
few tips on how to transform your¬ 
self from a refrigerator runner to a 

First, let’s review the tools of the 
trade. There’s the phone, and, well, 
that’s pretty much it — but you do 
have to worry about how you use 
it. You’ll want to mask your voice 

"If a man 


willing to 

some risk 
for his 
either his 
are no 
good or 
he's no 

- Ezra Pound 



Risk-taking since 1910 

Opinion meetings 
Thursdays at 5 p.m. 
on the third floor 
of SUB 

with a modulator app, like Funny 
Call from iOKi. This will make you 
sound like anything from Rebecca 
Black to a chipmunk. Now that your 
voice is anonymous — and hilarious 
— you’ll need to know three simple 
rules before you call. 

The first rule of prank calls is do 
not pretend to be a telemarketer. The 
second rule of prank calls is do not 
pretend to be a telemarketer. How 
many times have you actually stayed 
on the line with someone trying to 
sell you tornado insurance? You need 
an alias that won’t trigger your tar¬ 
get’s reptilian instinct to flee from 

I recommend choosing something 
that sounds official or benign. Fake a 
wrong number or act like a surveyor 
to avoid an undue amount of suspi¬ 
cion. The third rule is take the time to 
establish that alias with simple ques¬ 
tions and inside knowledge of the 
target — if you don’t take the time to 
properly build the foundation of your 
prank, it will fail every time. 

Okay, now that you know the 

basics, it’s time to start making the 
calls. Choosing someone is simple. 
Scroll through your contacts and pick 
anyone who you’re reasonably certain 
won’t get the cyber police to trace the 
call after the fact. 

Will you use Jack Black 
to attempt to order 
the six-piece Chicken 
McNuggets, but with 
only four, because 
you’re watching your 

Choosing the actual prank is where 
you get to define yourself. You’ll 
want to start with some tried and 
true pranks before the complicated 
stuff, so here are a couple to get you 

The “secret life” is where you pre¬ 
tend that you’re a detective investigat¬ 
ing the disappearance of one of the 

target’s friends. Now, you’ll be break¬ 
ing some sad fake news, so choose 
someone who isn’t so close to the 
target that it will actually traumatize 
them, but close enough that they’ll 
care enough to not hang up. Start by 
saying you’re hopeful you will find 
them and then begin to ease into 
some questions about the fictional 
secret life you’ve created. 

“Did you know that your estranged 
uncle Ted had a membership in 
NAMBLA?” you could ask, “We talked 
to his 14-year-old friend Larry, and he 
said that Ted offered him 50 bucks to 
roll around in a tub of blue cheese and 
Cheerios. After the kid refused, Ted 
left and hasn’t been seen since.” The 
victim will be suspicious, but keep 
your delivery straight and you can get 
five minutes out of anything. 

While it’s always fun to prank 
your friends, you also might want 
to branch out into pranking people 
at work. The internet soundboard 
has given the intrepid prankster the 
power of celebrity voices, and some 
of them are just begging to be used 

to brighten the day of a lonely fast 
food worker. Will you use Jack Black 
to attempt to order the six-piece 
Chicken McNuggets, but with only 
four, because you’re watching your 
calories? Or will you pose as Hank 
Hill and attempt to sell propane and 
propane accessories to an unwary 
hardware store? The possibilities are 

Prank calls may have made troll¬ 
ing people more difficult thanks 
to things like caller ID. Then again, 
other advances, such as voice modu¬ 
lators, have given the intrepid prank¬ 
ster powers that they could once only 
dream of. 

Mastering the art of reeling some¬ 
one in with a bullshit story takes time, 
but many mistakes are easily avoided. 
The payoff of luring someone into 
your made-up world is orders of mag¬ 
nitude greater than simpler pranks like 
the banana peel or the fake vomit. So 
fire up the voice modulator, and reach 
a little higher. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a 
refrigerator to catch. 

For just $29.95, walk in with your taxes, walk out with your refund. Instantly. 
You’ll also get a free SPC Card to save big at your favourite retailers.* 



free SPC Card 

we make taxes easy 


Follow us on Twitter and Facebook 

© 2011 H&R Block Canada, Inc. *$29.95 valid for regular student tax preparation only. Cash back service included. To qualify for student pricing, student must present either (i) a 12202a documenting 4 or 
more months of full-time attendance at a college or university during 2010 or (ii) a valid high school identification card. Expires December 31,2011. Valid only at participating H&R Block locations in Canada. 
SPC Card offers valid from 08/01/10 to 07/31/11 at participating locations in Canada only. For Cardholder only. Offers may vary, restrictions may apply. Usage may be restricted when used in conjunction 
with any other offer or retailer loyalty card discounts. Cannot be used towards the purchase of gift cards or certificates. 


Sam Brooks, Matt Hirji 
Dan McKechnie, 
and Aaron Yeo 

words by 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume Cl number 43 

i, V 



‘ 0 -''' 

W '■■ 



HRs t 


tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 

There are a lot of students who have a hard time getting through post sec 
ondary education when the loans don't come. It's the job of the Students' 
Union to make sure that every student who is academically quali- a 
tied can get in and finish school/' Murphy explains. "It's 
not the case now and we're trying to fight to make it 

more so the case." ^^k 

Michael Polushin 

Sessional Professor, History and Classics 

Michael Polushin's office in the second floor of the Tory 
Building at the University of Alberta is plastered with postcards 
from around the world. They are letters that his former students have 
sent him after taking one of his classes and going on to pursue their inter¬ 
ests across the world. 

"When you are a graduate student, send me a postcard," Polushin loudly 
exclaims in his lectures. He isn't kidding. And by the looks of his office, hundreds 
of students have done just that. 

Michael Polushin is a sessional instructor in the Department of History and 
Classics. Originally from Edmonton, Polushin graduated with his masters at the 
University of Alberta and holds his doctorate degree from Tulane University 
in New Orleans. 

His eccentric personality and unique lecturing style has earned him 
an infamous reputation on campus. Polushin takes pride in 
knowingall of his students by theirfirstnamesandasserts 
that he is invested in their successes — such a 
commitment may even earn him a 
postcard in return. 

Students Union Vice President (External) 

would beg to differ," Aden Murphy says with a self-effacing 
tone when asked about his importance on campus. But while it's 
sometimes hard for him to admit that he's an integral part of student 
life on campus, he's certainly important. Murphy, a fifth-year student at the 
University of Alberta, is this year's Vice President (External) for the Students' 

"My job is to represent students to municipal, federal, and provincial governments 
and to try to advance the interests of post secondary students in government," 
Murphy says. 

That's no small task. With provincial fundingfor advanced education tough to come by, 
Murphy works long hours to develop both short- and long-term strategies to create 
more academic opportunities for his fellow students — a task he has embarked 
upon with humility and a deep sense of responsibility. 


\ » 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume Cl number 43 


Max Marcus 

Undergrad Engineering Student 

Wearing his orange scarf with pride, Max Marcus is cur¬ 
rently Vice President (Attraction, Engagement, and Retention) 
for the U of A student group Engineers Without Borders. A fourth- 
year computer engineering student, Marcus wanted to break down the 
general misconceptions that many people have towards the engineering 

"The idea is to have more globally minded engineers that break 
the stereotype of the engineer who only cares about the project's 
results, and doesn't care about the long term impacts of the proj¬ 
ect. We are advocating for engineering students to care more about 
those issues." 

Originally from Edmonton, Marcus will finish his bachelor's degree next 
year. And after gaining a wide-ranging worldview through his under¬ 
graduate studies, Marcus isn't quite sure where his passions 
lie just yet. 

"Law school is in the cards,” Marcus says. "Or maybe 
working in the engineering industry for a bit 
with the intention of going on to 
grad school." 

Trix Baker 

Varsity Athletics Administrator 

Trix Baker's relationship with the University of Alberta began 
in the late 1970s when she arrived on campus as a student- 
athlete. Playing five seasons for Pandas basketball, Baker led the 
team to a national championship appearance and captained the team in 
her final year. 

It was when Baker was hired as the Pandas basketball head coach in 1991 that 
her love affair with the campus of champions truly began. In her first year with the 
clipboard, Baker had her first child, Jordan — now a hulking 6'7" guard with the Court 
Bears — and in 1999 led her team to their first-ever national championship title. 

"They were struggling when I took them over. We didn't expect to win. We were 
just hoping to get some experience. We just got there and everything just fell into 
place. It was unbelievable. Nine out of the 12 of them were local kids. They still get 
together even today. I take a lot of pride in that," Baker says. 

After her retirement from the helm of the Pandas basketball team in 2005, 
Baker took an administrative position within the university Athletics 

Department. With her national championship banner hanging 
valiantly from the rafters of the Main Gym, Baker now works 
to facilitate the triumphs of current varsity athletes on 
campus as head of sponsorship and development 
for the Golden Bears and Pandas. 



tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 


CTJDjJ 71 






Rory Tighe 


• Emerson Csorba 



Andy Cheema 


Colten Yamagishi 




• FririH kkanrlar 


1 O 1 1 V-^ 1 <J lx U 1 1 O 1 

• Raphael Lepage Fortin 


Andrew Fehr 


Petros Kusmu 
Navneet Khinda 
Adam Woods 
Aditya Rao 
Chaka Zinyemba 
Kelsey Mills 


Colten Yamagishi 
Samaar Haider 

• Vanessa Johnson 

• Brit Luimes 

• Mallory McMurtrie 


Aaron Eslinger 
Lyndon Crone 
Saadiq Sumar 
Adam Gulyas 


Scott Nicol 


Rebecca Gould 

Jake Archie 


Eric Bellinger 


• Joshua Le 


• Susan Amer 


• Sarah Zhao 



Kinnar Power (SUPA) 


Kim Ferguson 

Amelie Roberto Charron 

Avinash Karuvelil 

Peter West 

Arun Thomas 

Su Su Liang 

Brett MacGillivary 

Petros Kusmu 
Ann Gordon 
Jessica Macumber 
Gabriel Tremblay 
Emily Fung 
Nikolas Kalantzis 
Zafir Kanji 

Harry Chandler 
Christina Wolinski 
Colten Yamagishi 

Brit Luimes 
Donovan Lovely 

Heidi Johnson 
Tyler Heal 

Scott Nicol 

Susan Amer 

• Christopher Rogers 



Jj|| • Lyndon Crone 


Spencer Dunn 

Kim Ferguson 
Su Su Liang 
Stephanie D Agostini 
Michael Parkes 
Jeffry Kochikuzhyi 
Victor Foroutanpay 
Nicholas Monfries 
Thomas L Abbe 

■ v yr 







 ♦ tuesday, march 29,2011 

Naturally 7 transform and twist a cappella traditions 


Naturally 7 

With Guests 

Tuesday, March 29 at 6:30 p.m. 
McDougall United Church 
(10025 Macdonald Drive) 
$49.50 at 


Arts & Entertainment Editor 

When New York R&B group Naturally 
7 walk onstage, none of them have 
instruments in their hands. Their 
instruments are their bodies; with a 
style they call “vocal play,” the seven 
singers in the group imitate drums, 
synthesizers, and horns to create their 
own back-up band using their voices 
alone. As the group takes the classic 

a cappella genre in a different direc¬ 
tion, ringleader Roger Thomas is happy 
to carve out an entirely distinctive space 
for their musical growth. 

“I think that probably, we are the 
most urban-sounding a cappella group 
that Ive heard,” Thomas says. “Because 
that urban aesthetic is closer to our way 
of thinking, we appreciate that Bobby 
McFerrin school, the Take 6 school 
— many that have come down that 
road. [What made most sense] to us 
was thinking like a DJ, thinking like a 
synthesizer — that’s just closer to the 
way that were wired. So when I would 
come with a song, an arrangement, 
we’d say, ‘Okay, well, who has the best 
electric guitar? Who has the best drums 
and bass?’” 

Naturally 7’s impressively structured 
harmonies and uncanny ability to imi¬ 
tate a vast array of different instruments 

using only their vocal chords has been 
attracting a lot of buzz in the music 
world. Initially catapulting into the 
spotlight with a YouTube video of the 
group taking over a car on the busy Paris 
Metro to sing a cover of Phil Collins’ 
“Feel It (In the Air Tonight),” Naturally 
7 has since performed for the likes of 
Quincy Jones and Herbie Hancock, and 
have even reportedly caught the atten¬ 
tion of Stevie Wonder. The new success 
earned the group a spot touring with 
Michael Buble, opening his concerts to 
crowds of thousands. 

Despite all the recent attention and 
new fans though, don’t expect Thomas 
and his bandmates to jump into the 
typical rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle any time 
soon — at the end of the day, they 
remain entirely committed to the 
moral foundations they were brought 
up with. None of the members drink or 

smoke — part of an effort to preserve 
their voices — and their faith is always 
a lyrical touchstone in their music. 

“Because we started in church and 
that’s our foundation, lyrically, we 
never left that part of it,” Thomas says. 
“Anyone who’s looking really close in 
our lyrics — even though it’s not very 
preachy — it’s always coming from 
an inspirational, spiritual, uplifting 
point of view. So we kind of carry that 
everywhere we go because of where 
we come from, and we’d rather spread 
something positive and have something 
positive to say than the opposite.” 

“Nearly all of our material, even if it’s 
a love song, pretty much has some sort 
of lyrical connotation between people 
and God or just some of the deeper 
message there,” Thomas continues. 
“But we just don’t beat people over the 
head with the gospel thing.” 

Naturally 7 may be grounded in spir¬ 
itual music, but they’re open to experi¬ 
menting with their a cappella blend of 
hip-hop and R&B — their latest album 
Vocal Play even includes their own 
vocal arrangement of our own beloved 
“Hockey Night In Canada.” 

“In January of 2010, we spent two 
and a half weeks in Vancouver for the 
Winter Olympics,” Thomas explains. 
“And we got a pretty heavy dose of 
the hockey theme [...] They told 
us, ‘If you do this tune, everybody 
knows it.’ And we’re like, ‘Really?’ 
And they’re like, ‘Trust us.’ So we 
tried it out on some audiences while 
we were in Canada performing every 
night for 15 or 20 shows we did 

“And every time we did it, you 
would see nothing but smiles on peo¬ 
ple’s faces, so they were right.” 

Ash Koley embrace spontaneous creativity 


Ash Koley 

With Ron Sexsmith 
Wednesday, March 30 at 7 p.m. 

The Haven Social Club (15120A Stony Plain Road) 

$22 in advance at or Blackbyrd, $28 at the door 


Arts & Entertainment Legend 


Design & Production Editor 

With the tools for fame at the fingertips of anyone with 
access to a webcam and the internet, innovation is crucial 
for musical talents looking to stand out in a sea of other 
voices. Winnipeg pop duo Ash Koley are all about trying 
to invent something new rather than looking to the past 
for inspiration. 

For their debut album Inventions , they’ve released seven 
professionally made videos out of the album’s nine tracks. 
Although the number of videos is impressive alone, the fact 
that they’re conceived of spontaneously and each filmed in 
one continuous shot makes them all the more captivating. 

“They’re recorded on the fly. Twenty-five minutes 
before we shoot it, we just go, ‘What do you want to do? 
Okay,’ ” says Phil Deschambault, songwriter and instru¬ 
mentalist of the band. “Because we write the song, pro¬ 
duce it, record it, and then shoot that video all in one shot. 
It’s all a part of that process; we don’t plan out the videos. 
We feel that if you plan it out, you lose that authenticity 
of who you are. 

“We feel like if you just get up and start shooting a silly 
video, who you’re seeing is us. We’re being ourselves, 
instead of sitting in a boardroom all bloody day long, 

everyone debating over how we’re going to be perceived 
and looked at.” 

Deschambault stresses how much he and Ashley Koley, 
the other half of the band, are lovers of film and the 
authenticity of great filmmakers. The two agree that the 
best ideas come from being spontaneous. 

“Sometimes we’ll load it up on our computer and we’re 
just watching it and we’ll be like, ‘Wait a minute. For 
some reason the light hits that thing at exactly the same 
time as the beat does this,’ ” Koley adds. “A lot of things 
happen by fluke that just look really cool. And we’re like, 
‘All right, let’s keep it.’ ” 

Occasionally the band also receives calls from other 
artists wondering who makes their videos. When they 
respond that they do it themselves, the other musicians 
are so impressed that they sometimes ask the pair if they 
would be willing to make videos for their bands. Although 
flattered, freelancing their video production skills is not 
in Ash Koley’s future. 

“We’re just winging it. The reason why we don’t do 
edits is because we don’t know what we’re doing. Why try 
and put ourselves forward like we do?” 

The fortune of the group’s process may seem random, 
but the genesis of the band’s most well-known song “Don’t 
Let Your Feet Touch Ground” reveals the importance of a 
positive attitude in everything Ash Koley does. 

“I went in to write a song that day and I was really 
down, having a fucking horrible day, and I thought, ‘Fuck 
it. I’m not going to write a horrible song, a down, sad 
song,’ since I knew I would only come out of there feeling 
worse,” Deschambault explains. “ ‘This time, I’m gonna 
write a positive song, try and get out of this slump.’ And 
really that’s how that song got started.” 

“And I guess that’s the message, if there is a message: 
just try to keep your head up and be positive about things. 
Be 10 feet tall, instead of 5’11 like me.” 



tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 

The Dodos embrace their inner guitar nerds 


The Dodos 

With Reading Rainbow 
Tuesday, March 29 at 8:30 p.m. 
Starlite Room (10030-102 Street) 
$16 at 


Arts & Entertainment Staff 

In scientific records, they may be written off as 
extinct, but on musical records, The Dodos are 
far from it. 

The San Francisco duo has been strumming 
and drumming a new sound with energetic 
acoustic records and vibrant live shows since 
2005. An unbridled buzz for their fourth album 
No Color has been building since the release of 
the well-received Time To Die three years ago, 
and the band proved they could live up to the 
hype at this year’s South by Southwest Festival 
in Austin. 

“We noticed during [our] shows 
that there’s always one or two 
dudes in the audience with the 
long hair — the nerdy-looking 
dudes that are rocking out the 
hardest. We want to make this 
record for those dudes.” 



On the new record, The Dodos are extending 
their wingspan and evolving with the addition 
of the electric guitar to their sound. 

“My first guitar was an electric, and the first 
songs I learned were those ‘90s grunge bands,” 
lead singer and guitarist Meric Long says. “I’d 
rip tablatures out of magazines and learn all 
the songs. I’d just completely forgotten about 

it because I spent so much time trying to play 

The Dodos’ previous records feature all¬ 
acoustic tunes, a distinct characteristic of most 
of their songs. Long, now having rediscovered 
the electric guitar, takes new pleasure in the 
aesthetic the instrument creates. 

“The most fun part of recording [the new 
album] for me was the time of day when we 
didn’t know what to do, so I would put on an 
electric guitar and just crap all over the songs 
with a bunch of riff-y nonsense,” he laughs. 
“But it all ended up working out.” 

Until now, their shows usually consisted of 
a simple drum set-up and an acoustic guitar. 
But The Dodos are currently touring with two 
electric guitars, which makes for a decidedly 
heavier gig. 

“It’s kind of a different band. I think fans and 

people are going to be a little surprised when 
they see us with all the new songs and the 
new electric sound,” Long says. “Regardless of 
whether [they] will make the jump with us to 
the new sound that we’re having, it’s really fun 
for us, and it sort of reinvigorates the band.” 

This, however, doesn’t mean a departure 
in musical style or genre for The Dodos. The 
extensive use of open tunings and quick finger¬ 
picking rhythms that fans are accustomed to are 
still present on the album; the electric guitar 
parts are mainly for riffs and textural support. 
Of course, no one knows this better than the 
guitar nerds for whom the new record has been 

“We noticed during [our] shows that there’s 
always one or two dudes in the audience with 
the long hair — the nerdy-looking dudes that are 
rocking out the hardest. We want to make this 

record for those dudes,” Long says. “It makes me 
happy to see those guys at our shows. We want to 
steer more towards that audience.” 

Evidently, The Dodos took their time to craft 
No Color to satisfy the most avid of guitar (and 
drum) nerds. 

“We definitely sat with the songs for a long time 
and tried to let them breathe as much as possible 
and not force them to do a certain thing,” Long 
explains. “Each one is different, you know. Some 
of them have been more like bedroom creatures 
and other ones have been flushed out of just me 
and [drummer] Logan [Kroeber] playing a bunch 
and coming back to it later.” 

Even though time is important, the true 
secret ingredients to The Dodos’ music can 
be narrowed down to three: “A lot of jam, 
a lot of ham, and a bit of zan,” Long says. 
“Z-A-N. That’s been a popular term with us lately.” 

Perfect Thing raises more questions than it can answer 



An Almost Perfect Thing 

Directed by Michael Clark 
Written by Nicole Moeller 
Starring Tess Degenstein , David Ley, 
and Frank Zotter 
La Cite Francophone 
(8627-91 Street) 

Runs until April 10 at 7:30 p.m., 
Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. 

Student tickets are $20, Sunday 
matinees are 2-for-l, and Tuesday 
performances are pay-what-you-can 


Arts & Entertainment Writer 

Do we have a right to hear another 
person’s story? Do we have a right 
to know the truth? And why do we 
want it so badly? These are the ques¬ 
tions that Edmonton playwright 
Nicole Moeller asks in An Almost 
Perfect Thing. 

The play tells the story of Chloe 
(Tess Degenstein), a girl who has 
been held captive in her abductor’s 
basement for more than six years. 
When Chloe, now an 18-year-old, 
finally escapes, the public and media 
want to know what happened. What 
did the man do to her and why? And 
how come it took her six years to 

To the public’s anger and dismay, 
Chloe won’t tell. That is, until 
she meets Greg (Frank Zotter). A 
washed-up journalist with a personal 

connection to Chloe’s story, Greg 
makes a tenuous deal with Chloe to 
write about her story in his newspa¬ 
per column, telling little tidbits of her 
story at a time. 

Greg is the only one Chloe will talk 
to, and his exclusive columns become 
the focus of international attention. 
Flowever, there are a few problems: 
Chloe refuses to lead police to her 
kidnapper Mathew (David Ley) or to 
share his last name, and consistently 
lies or fabricates details when telling 
her story. In what seems to be a case 
of Stockholm Syndrome, Chloe pro¬ 
tects her kidnapper, while Greg — 
though enjoying all the attention he’s 
getting as a columnist — questions if 
he can trust her. 

While the first 10 minutes of the 
play start off rather slow, the ten¬ 
sion and the intrigue begins to build 
soon after, and the story really starts 

The audience begins to see that all 
three characters on stage need each 
other: all are just as desperate to feel 
needed and loved. This is most obvi¬ 
ous when David, Mathew, and Chloe 
begin to start and finish each other’s 
sentences — an interesting and tricky 
narrative device that’s tough for any 
cast to pull off. 

As the story develops, Chloe is 
under more and more pressure to 
lead the police to Mathew (after all, 
he might kidnap someone else). As a 
result, the strain between Chloe and 
Greg builds and builds, and so too 
does the humour. 

One wouldn’t expect a play about 
a kidnapping to be so funny, but in 
many poignant moments of truth, the 
audience has no choice but to laugh at 
the absurdity of the characters’ all too 
human flaws. Each of the three char¬ 
acters in the play is convinced they 
are the one in control. 

But the script isn’t perfect: when 
the audience sees Chloe as a 12-year- 
old, her apparent level of maturity and 
manner of speech are exactly like that 
of her 18-year-old self, which is hard 
to swallow. Has she really not changed 
in six years? Degenstein is also prone to 
several instances of over-acting, some¬ 
thing which quickly wears thin. 

Zotter’s acting is very good, but his 
character Greg is shallow and grates 
on the nerves. Greg comes off more 
as a narrator than as a character, and 
he’s an annoying narrator at that — 
his endless soliloquys to the audience 
are a little too much. 

Surprisingly, it’s the kidnapper 
Mathew who really steals the show. 
Although Mathew is undeniably creepy, 
it’s hard not to empathize with him as 
a damaged and deeply hurting human 
being. Ley’s interpretation of the char¬ 
acter is spot-on. 

Although An Almost Perfect Thing 
deals in heavy subject matter, the fin¬ 
ished product doesn’t quite move, 
change, or satisfy the audience in 
any big way. Moeller has managed to 
craft an interesting story about abduc¬ 
tion and the media, but in the end, all 
the questions the script poses are left 

SPORTS ♦ tuesday, march 29,2011 



Compiled by Matt Hirji 


Born: Osier, Saskatchewan 

Played nine years in the CFL, 
making two Grey Cup appear¬ 
ances as a linebacker for the 
Montreal Alouettes 

Named head coach of the Bears 
football program in 2001, taking 
over from decade-long head 
coach Tom Wilkinson 

Career Highlights: 


Overall coaching record: 36-40 

Most successful seasons: 7-1 

(2004 and 2005) 

Friesen bids farewell to the Bears 

Former CIS Coach of the Year announces his resignation from Green and Gold football team 

Least successful season: 1-7 

( 2002 ) 

Awarded: the Frank Tindall 
Trophy for coach of the year 
in 2004 

U of A Coaching 














































Sports Staff 

When the Golden Bears football squad takes to 
the field this fall, they’ll do so without long¬ 
time coach Jerry Friesen on the sidelines. 

After 10 seasons at the helm of the Green and 
Gold football program, the Friesen era came to 
a close Thursday after the former CFL linebacker 
resigned as head coach. 

“I have resigned to pursue other opportu¬ 
nities. I am proud of the Golden Bears and all 
that we accomplished together and I am confi¬ 
dent the U of A Golden Bears will continue to 
improve and achieve their goals,” Friesen said 
in a press release. “When I am ready, I will pub¬ 
licly discuss my other opportunities.” 

In 10 seasons, Friesen amassed a 36—40 con¬ 
ference record, guiding the program anywhere 
from the depths of a 1—7 season to the heights 
of 7—1 years. 

Friesen accomplished those 7—1 seasons in 
2004 and 2005, and was named CIS football 
coach of the year in 2004. After those two tre¬ 
mendous years, however, the program went a 
combined 15—25 during Friesen’s final five reg¬ 
ular seasons as head coach. 

Friesen addressed the team for the final time 
early Thursday where he informed them of 
his decision to step down. The news came as 
a surprise to both the team and assistant coach 
Jeff Stead. 

“He came in and he had something prepared. 

He was pretty emotional, and read that off to 
the team. Obviously he said farewell to a bunch 
of the guys, and then he was gone,” Stead said 
Thursday afternoon. 

“It was a shock, for sure.” 

While the news was a surprise to the team, 
Acting Director of Athletics Vang Ioannides and 
Friesen had been in conversation about a pos¬ 
sible resignation over the last week or so. 

“It was in the works for a little bit of time, so 
Jerry and I had started having discussions over 
the last week to 10 days, but it took some time 
to come together,” Ioannides explained. 

“Now we’re in a situation where we’re of 
course planning for what we’re going to do in 
the immediate future, as well as trying to take 
stock of what we need to do to move forward 
and to have the Golden Bears basically reach 
prominence in CIS and compete.” 

As for Stead, whether or not he will be given 
the task of leading the Bears on an interim basis 
has yet to be decided. 

“No, we haven’t discussed that at this time,” 
Stead said. “I know they did mention to me that 
they are in the process of sitting down and fig¬ 
uring out what direction they want to go in.” 

With spring camp set to open in little more than 
a month, finding a replacement will be crucial for 
the Bears as they prepare for next season. 

“They want to get things done as quickly as 
possible,” Stead explained. “For spring camp 

and recruiting — it’s a big part of [the discus¬ 
sion] right now. We need to try and get [the 
coaching situation] solidified as soon as pos¬ 
sible so we at least have a direction.” 

While Ioannides’ term as Acting Director of 
Athletics will come to a close April 1 when Ian 
Reade takes over the position on a full-time 
basis, the change will not affect the immediacy 
of finding a replacement. 

“Ian has been made aware of the situation as 
it stands,” Ioannides said. “In the interim, we 
need to do something sooner than when Ian 
takes over. We will be making decisions.” 

“I am proud of the Golden Bears and all that we accomplished 
together and I am confident that the U of A Golden Bears will 




tuesday, march 29,2011 ♦ 


V Travel the world with 
Global Tesol 

■S Get TESOL certified in 
five days 

V Study in-class, online or 
by correspondence 

V Overseas job guaranteed 

V Call today for a free 
info package 

FREE SEMINAR every Tuesday at 7pm • 10037B-Whyte Ave 

B fl L 


1-888-270-2941 • 



"Sometimes in football, 
you have to score goals." 
— Thierry Henry 


Breaking nil nil ties since 1910 

Sports meetings every Thursday at 4 p.m. 
on the third floor of SUB 


A personal and often difficult 
subject to broach, a subject that 
still carries a significant stigma 
that can prevent people from 
getting the help they need. But 
with 3,600 suicides in Canada 
every year, it's a topic that 
deserves to be discussed. 

Pick up The Gateway Thursday 
for the final installment in our 
series on mental health. 

Bears sputter out at nationals 



Sports Editor 

The Alberta Golden Bears’ high hopes 
of claiming their 14th national cham¬ 
pionship in team history were dashed 
this weekend after a losing skid at 
the University Cup tournament in 
Fredericton, New Brunswick. 

Two straight losses to the St. Francis 
Xavier X-Men and the McGill Martlets 
quickly put an end to the Bears’ 
momentum and sent the team home 
without a medal for the first time in 
four years. 

The losses were a tough swallow 
for the Golden Bears, especially team 
captain and graduating player Eric 

“It’s difficult,” a disappointed 
Hunter said after McGill eliminated 
his squad from the tournament in a 
6—3 loss on Saturday afternoon. “My 
time here has been amazing and this 
year was especially good having a 
chance to be a leader. Our core group 
has been together for four years and 
I’ve developed some special bonds.” 

The Bears were unable to find their 
stride this weekend. Despite head¬ 
ing into the weekend as the third- 
ranked team in the tournament, the 
Bears came out flat in their first game 
against the X-Men. From the outset, 
the Bears were forced to their heels 
by the offensively minded Antigonish, 
N.S. squad. 

“Its difficult My time 
here has been amazing 
[...] Our core group 
has been together for 
four years and I’ve 
developed some special 



Unable to capitalize on their lim¬ 
ited chances with the puck, the Bears 
conceded a quick goal in the first 
period — a goal that evaporated any 
confidence the Green and Gold had 
and set the tone for a 3—1 X-Men 

Their second game against the 
McGill Martlets didn’t prove to be any 
better. Needing to beat the Red and 
White by at least four goals to qualify 
for the national championship final, 
the young Bears couldn’t muster the 
energy needed against such a formi¬ 
dable opponent. As Bears head coach 
Eric Thurston admits, facing such 
a daunting team with so much on 
the line may have eaten away at his 
squad’s on-ice poise throughout the 
game against the Martlets. 

“Obviously it’s not easy to go into 
a game knowing you have to beat the 
second-best team in the country by 

four goals,” said Thurston after losing 
to McGill 6—3 on Saturday. “I thought 
overall, we didn’t play bad, but credit 
to McGill — they’re a very skilled 

Due to the circumstances, Thurston 
implemented a strategy to allow his 
team increased scoring opportuni¬ 
ties against the Martlets. Unmitigated 
offensive aggression was the only 
way that the Bears could create the 
goal advantage needed to qualify to 
the next stage of the tournament. In 
the end, however, Thurston’s strategy 
backfired and created gaping holes 
in the defence for the Martlets to 
capitalize on. 

Martlets forward Max Langeller- 
Parent netted two goals in the game, 
including an unassisted goal in the 
final frame that put the game out of 
reach for the Golden Bears. However, 
the McGill victory can’t only be 


credited to the Martlets alone. Alberta 
contributed to their own downfall, 
ceding three goals on the McGill 
powerplay and going scoreless with 
the man-advantage. 

The Bears will now hang up their 
skates and regroup for next year. With 
17 players returning to the lineup, 
the Green and Gold will be ready for 
the future challenges ahead of them. 
Derek Ryan, who led the Canada West 
division with 17 goals will certainly 
be poised to make an even greater 
impact in the future. And while there 
is certainly a large dose of disappoint¬ 
ment inside their locker room this 
week, the Bears’ prospects of raising a 
CIS national championship banner to 
the rafters of Clare Drake Arena next 
season are promising. 

— With files from Colin McPhail, 
The Brunswickan (University of New 


• Between February 4, 2005 and 
October 13, 2006, the Bears had a 
home conference undefeated streak of 
18 games. 

• Over the past five seasons, the Bears 
have claimed four Canada West titles 

• In the same five seasons, the Green 
and Gold have claimed two national 
championship titles. 

• During the last five years, the Bears 
have claimed top spot in the Canada 
West division four times. The only year 

they missed this mark was during the 
2006-2007 season. The Bears still 
qualified for the national tournament, 
but finished off the podium. 

• The Bears have amassed a regular 
season record of 105-23-12 in that span. 

THE GATEWAY ♦ volume Cl number 43 



BONNIE X CLYDE by Wendy Trieu 




fc — 





60T ITS 

GETTIN' LARRY by Bobby Williamson 

THINGS AND STUFF by Kathryn Dutchak 

w.' ' 


■'If v,*' 



, m \v. .* 


“So then I was all like, ‘Listen...Rodrigo, if your going to come to our 
country, your going to have to learn how to speak our self-deprecating 
sense of sarcasm due to lack of historical and social 
context....yeh,..yeh.... and then I punched him." 


To place a classified ad, please go 


Door to door marketing positions available; 
great money, Flexible schedule; $15/hr + 
$15 bonus per lead. Color Shift Painting; 
780-716-0985. _ 


Great summer job. Local painting 
company needs full time painters for 
summer season - interior and exterior 
projects. $15/hr starting. Will provide 
all training. Call Color Shift Painting for 
details; 780-716-0985. 


Professional Editor, edits papers, projects, 
theses, & dissertations, consults on writing 
styles, how to research & organize papers 
Call 780-461-0440. 


1. Cinnamon 

2. Nutmeg 

3. Sweet Mango Chutney 

4. Ginger Nuts 

5. Black Beauty 

6. Brown Sugar 

7. Old Jelly Roll 

8. Gigabite 

9. Guardian Bob 

10. Old Spice 

11. (That boy is a) Monster 

12. Shane 

13. The Sugarplum Fairy 

14. Daddy Warbucks 

15. Snake Charmer 

16. Stephen the Butter-Covered Stripper 

17. The Lovely Bones 

18. Doctor Whoops 

19. Star Wars Kid 

20. Golden Nuggets 

21. The North American Banana Monopoly 

22. The Brazilian 

23. Scott Pilgrim versus these oh-so-itchy 
assless leather chaps 

24. Swimmer's Bone 

25. Free 


26. The MANconomy 

27. The Wrangly Jerkster 

28. Gunnz 

29. Bunnz