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70 

Distinct  Styles 
of 

SUMMER 
FOOTWEAR 

For  Boys 
Who    Care 


^ 


J,  BROTHERTON 

50     YONGE    STREET 

TELEPHONE  N.  2092 


The   St.   Andrew's   College 

I^eview 


EASTER,      \  908. 

CONTENTS  : 

Editorials 

Stories 

Athletics 

Miscellany 

Skits 

Editof-in-Chicf : 

CAMERON  WILSON,  BA. 

BMtorst-HOUSSER 

JSusinees  /lRanagec:—E BERTS 

BEATY 
RAMSAY 

f  CRAWFORD 
Sest.  Aanagerg  :—\ 

[grass 

DAVISON 

:6£cbanae  lEWtor :— BURNS 

Issued  by  the  Edrtorial  Comniittee 
EVERY  CHRISTMAS,  EASTER  and  MIDSUMMER 


St  Hnbrew's  College  IReview 

Editor-in-Chief  :  Cameron  Wilson,   B.A. 

Editors  :   Housser,  Beatv,  Ramsay,  Davison. 

Business  Manager  :    Ebef^ts.        Assistant  Managers  :  CRAwpoRn,  Grass. 

Exchange  Editor:  'Bikns. 


EASTE-ia.  190S 


Editorials. 


^LREADY  are  we  looking  forward  to  the  pleasures  of  the  ap- 
proaching summer-term.  While  less  strenuous  than  other 
seasorLs  of  the  school  year,  it  is  none  the  lass  attractive.  There  is  a 
charm  in  the  out-of-door  freedom,  in  the  life  of  campus  and  corri- 
dor, in  the  long,  bright  days,  that  other  terms  do  not  possess. 

The  new  Tuck  will  add  greatly  to  our  enjoyment  this  term.  Its 
wide  verandah,  cheerful  sitting-room,  and  estimable  buffet,  will 
contribute  largely  to  the  attractiveness  of  the  cricket  season. 

Even  in  so  short  a  time  the  Tuck  has  proved  an  unbounded  suc- 
cess. It  is  practically  a  school  club,  and  in  after  years  will  be 
looked  back  upon  as  one  of  the  chief  centres  of  social  and  collegiate 
life.  The  kind  consideration  of  ]\Irs.  Williams  and  her  assistant 
have  done  much  towards  promoting  the  success  of  what  is  already 
recognized  as  a  true  college  institution. 


fHERE  are  in  most  schools  a  few  boys  who  never  indulge  in  the 
luxury  of  reading — a  few  rare  spirits  of  restlessness  and  dis- 
content, who  prefer  to  spend  their  time  in  idleness,  looking  for 
trouble,  that  usually  comes  their  way.  Only  a  few  days  ago  we 
heard  of  a  youth  whose  name  adorns  the  roll  of  S.  A.  C.  and  who 
has  never  in  his  life  read  a  story  book  of  any  kind — not  even  a 
penny  dreadful.  He  spoke  in  high  disdain  of  the  benighted  crea- 
tures who  spend  their  spare  moments  on  rainy  days  and  at  inter- 
vals in  sports  in  following  the  adventures  of  some  hero  worthy  of 


10  ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW 

all  honor  and  love.  For  his  own  pait  he  prefers  to  sit  on  a  wash- 
room window,  squirtinj?  water  over  those  who  are  better  employed, 
and  keenly  alive  to  the  (exquisite  joys  of  a  scrap  that  usually  results 
from  such  friendly  overtures. 

Poor  chap!  He  doesn't  know  what  he  misses,  but  some  day 
he  will.  The  mind  that  busies  itself  only  in  gathering  the  flotsam 
and  jetsam  of  aimless  days  and  petty  interests  must  some  day 
realize  how  futile  is  that  search.  The  rainy  day  will  find  it  un- 
settled and  morbid;  long,  winter  nights  will  be  but  durance  vile 
instead  of  charmingly  complete;  middle  age  may  be  bearable,  but 
the  declining  years  of  its  earthly  pilgrimage  will  be  absolutely  void 
and  dreary. 

Every  normal  man  and  boy  loves  a  hero ;  we  are  a  race  of  hero- 
worshippers,  and  which  one  of  us — except  the  noted  exception  cited 
above — has  not  grown  to  know  and  love  with  a  personal,  lasting 
affection  the  charactei-s  that  some  gifted  pen  has  drawn  between 
the  covers  of  a  book! 

There  are  times  in  our  life  when  we  must  be  alone — when  the 
companionship  of  man  or  woman  cannot  be  had — times  when  such 
companionship  may  be  distasteful.  In  that  day  of  loneliness  may 
Heaven  help  the  man  or  boy  who  cannot  lose  himself  in  the  pages 
of  a  book.  We  must  all  grow  old,  but  we  can  all  escape  the  barren, 
useless  senility  that  has  not  even  the  solace  of  a  cherished  volume 
to  brighten  the  grayness  of  life's  twilight  hour. 

THE  BOOKS  ABE  LEFT. 

"The  books  are  left— consider  it. 
The  day  that  sees  a  friendship  flit 

Lake  butterfly  to  bloonis  more  bright; 

Or  care,  the  gray  moth,  wings  by  night 
Where  lamps  of  joy  are  never  lit. 

"  Though  love  goes  by  with  grace  and  wit, 
Unwooed,   unheld   by   man 's   poor   might, 
Not  comfortless  shall  be  my  plight— 
For  Ixwks  are  left. 

'.'Though  in  the  inn  of  life  I  sdt. 
Last  of  my  friends  mine  ho«t  to  quit, 
Not  all  of  loneliness  shall  blight; 
I  may  not  be  deserted  quite 
While  still,  oh,  comrades  exquisite. 
My  books  are  left!  " 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  11 

IN  one  or  two  former  issues  our  pages  have  been  marred  by  edi- 
T  torial  complainings  at  the  lack  of  support  given  the  Review. 
Up  to  the  present  time,  the  preparation  of  each  number  of  the 
college  paper  has  been  a  nightmare  for  weeks  before  the  time  of 
going  to  press.  Nearly  every  article  had  to  be  dragged  by  sheer 
force  from  the  author's  lair  or  coaxed  forth  by  delicate  strategy. 
An  unsolicited  manuscript  was  an  unknown  quantity;  solicited 
ones  were  landed  after  many  trials  upon  the  editorial  patience — if 
such  a  thing  exists! 

This  year,  however  things  have  been  vastly  different.  Our  re- 
quest for  stories  or  articles  was  met  with  the  glad  hand  and  a 
ready  response  that  warmed  the  cockles  of  our  heart.  Several 
contributions  were  offered!  On  the  first  of  these  auspicious  oc- 
casions the  Editor  nearly  fainted  upon  the  neatly  written  manu- 
script, but  on  a  repetition  of  the  favor  was  able  to  look  as  if  such 
courtesies  were  the  regular  thing.  They  certainly  bid  fair  to 
become   so. 

It  is  the  right  spirit,  boys !  Keep  it  up !  If  for  one  of  many 
reasons  your  article  or  story  is  not  quite  suited  to  our  needs,  write 
another!  So  many  questions  enter  into  the  consideration  of  a 
manuscript,  that  its  rejection  by  one  particular  publication  is  no 
reflection  upon  its  merits.  Your  new  interest  in  the  Review— 
which,  after  all,  is  your  paper — ^is  greatly  appreciated  by  those  who 
have  charge  of  it.    Again,  thanks. 


12  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 


Contributed  Articles. 


AN  EPISODE    OF  A    ''DRIVE." 


HE  scorching  rays  of  a  July  suu  streamed  down  upon  one  of 
those  innumerable  ponds  of  the  Gull  River  system — one  of 
'J'  those  ponds  of  that  deep,  dark  water  which  takes  a  cleverer 
pen  than  mine  to  describe  or  only  an  eye  which  has  seen  it  to 
understand.  The  pond,  of  course,  indicated  a  dam ;  the  dam  a  mill, 
and  the  mill  a  village.  With  the  exception  of  a  narrow  strip  along 
the  near  side,  the  pond  was  covered  with  logs.  There  they  lay, 
some  thirty  thousand,  like  a  big  flock  of  sheep,  and  as  a  shepherd 
would  drive  the  sheep,  one  by  one,  to  the  slaughter-house,  so  the 
lumbermen  drove  the  logs,  one  by  one,  into  a  small  inlet  otf  the 
pond,  where  they  were  hauled  into  their  slaughter-house — the  mill. 

In  about  the  middle  of  the  logs  lay  the  sorting-jack,  which  indi- 
cated that  nearly  half  the  logs  were  sorted.  As  in  the  old  proverb, 
"All  roads  lead  to  Rome,"  so,  in  that  maze  of  logs,  all  booms  led 
to  the  sorting-jack,  at  least  one  big  one  to  it,  through  which  all 
logs  passed,  and  several  smaller  ones  from  it,  into  which  the  dif- 
ferent classes  of  logs  were  passed  after  they  were  sorted. 

Two  lumbermen  were  listlessly  driving  the  logs  down  to  the 
jack,  while  two  more  on  the  jack  sorted  them  and  piked  them  into 
the  various  booms.  The  boss  was  on  the  rear  of  the  jack,  passing 
the  logs  along  to  make  room  for  the  rest,  and  cursing  the  men  at 
intervals  for  getting  a  cedar  log  mixed  in  with  the  basswood.  The 
heat  was  unbearable.  The  sun's  rays  scorched  down  upon  logs, 
water  and  men  alike.  But  the  men  seemed  to  suffer  worst,  as  the 
logs  and  water  reflected  l)ack  the  heat,  as  if  there  were  a  sun  beneath 
them  as  well  as  above.  Even  the  boss  seemed  to  think  the  heat  too 
much  and  was  considerate  with  the  men.  They  deliberately  shirked 
before  his  eyes,  but,  either  from  lack  of  energy  or  on  account  of  the 
heat,  he  cursed  them  no  more  than  usual.  The  men  kept  up  their 
pretence  of  work  until  a  pointer  emerged  from  the  river  and  came 
down  the  pond  towards  the  little  gang. 

"Who's  in  that  pointer.  Bill?"  asked  one  of  the  men.  It  was  a 
chance  to  stop,  and  all  eyes  were  turned  towards  the  pointer. 


T.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  13 

"Someone  from  Macdunna's  drive,  up  above.  Wonder  what 
they  want  down  here  ? ' '  answered  Bill. 

Two  lumberjacks  were  pulling  a  couple  of  sweeps,  while  a  third, 
evidently  the  boss,  was  seated  in  the  stern  of  the  pointer.  They 
pulled  up  along  the  outer  boom  nearest  the  jack,  and  the  man  in 
the  stern  stood  up  and  yelled  over  to  the  men : 

' '  Where 's  your  boss  1    Where 's  Petrie  ?  ' ' 

"Here,"  growled  the  boss  on  the  jack.    "What  do  you  want?" 

"We're  bringing  three  cribs  through  this  afternoon  and  we 
want  you  to  give  us  room  to  get  by." 

"Can't  do  it,"  said  Petrie.  "You'll  have  to  wait  till  the  wind 
blows  us  on  the  further  shore;  there'll  be  lots  of  room  then." 

"It's  a  rush  order  and  we're  going  through  this  afternoon; 
you've  got  to  give  us  right-of-way.  If  those  logs  aren't  moved 
when  we  come  down,  we'll  know  why.    Understand?" 

He  sat  down,  and  the  two  lumbermen  soon  had  the  pointer  out 
of  hearing. 

' '  Who  is  that  young  pup,  Bill  ? ' '  asked  Petrie. 

■ '  Some  college  guy  they  call  Doc,  out  here  for  experience,  or  his 
health,  I  think." 

"Wonder  Macdunna  would  make  a  greenhorn  like  him  boss," 
growled  Petrie. 

"He's  a  good  hand  and  a  great  favorite  Avith  the  men,"  con- 
eluded  Bill. 

"Well,  he  can  wait,"  said  Petrie.  "I'll  not  move  a  blank  log 
for  him." 

"You'd  better,"  ventured  one  of  the  men.  "Jack  Gunn's  on 
that  drive,  and  he  swore  he'd  snuff  your  candle  next  time  you 
crossed  him. 

Petrie  leered  at  the  man  with  a  fiendish  look.  "Do  you  want 
to  get  hurt?"  he  asked. 

"No,"  said  the  lumberman;  "and  I  don't  reckon  any  of  us  is 
looking  for  a  scrap  neither.  That  Doe  means  what  he  says,  and 
we  ain't  anxious  to  get  mixed  up  with  any  of  Macdunna's  men." 

Petrie  leaned  on  his  pike  a  minute,  stroking  his  chin.  Then  he 
turned  to  one  of  the  men  and  said:  "You'd  better  get  steam  up  in 

the  alligator ;  it  won 't  be  hard  to  shift  that  boom  anyway. 

*         *         *         * 

That  afternoon  some  tourists  on  a  canoe  trip  up  the  lakes 
struck  the  little  burg.     They  were  portaging  over  the  da.m,  w^hen  a 


14  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

native  hailed  them:   "Not  imieh  use  going  up  the  river,  strangers; 
there's  some  cribs  coming  down  and  you  won't  be  able  to  pass  'em." 

"Will  the  cribs  run  that  slide  over  there?"  asked  one  of  the 
campers. 

"Yep." 

"It  would  be  a  shame  to  miss  a  sight  like  that.    Say  we  stay!" 
The  rest  of  the  campers  agreed,  and  they  drew  up  the  canoes. 

"Do  you  think  Bob  would  be  with  those  cribs,  Herb?"  shyly 
asked  one  of  the  young  ladies,  drawing  a  boy  aside. 

"I  only  wish  he  would,  Edythe.  I'd  make  him  get  over  his 
darn  grouch  and  come  with  us." 

"I  wish  I  hadn't  been  so  disagreeable  with  him,"  continued 
the   girl. 

"Oh,  Bob  was  crazy  to  think  of  such  a  thing.  He's  got  another 
year  before  he  can  practice  anyway.  But  do  you  know,  Edythe, 
when  he  came  the  night  we  got  our  holidays  and  said  he  wasn't 
coming  on  this  trip  we'd  planned  all  winter  I  thought  he  was  cra2y. 
He  wouldn't  give  me  any  satisfaction  at  first.  Just  said  he  was 
going  to  work  instead.  I  thought  he  meant  in  a  hospital,  of  course 
But  when  he  said  he  was  coming  out  in  this  forsaken  country  to 
work  on  a  drive  I  didn't  know  whether  the  exams  had  been  too 
much  for  him,  or  what.  At  last  he  told  me  what  was  the  matter — 
said  he'd  been  crazy  enough  to  ask  you  to  marry  him,  and  you  had 
told  him  with  great  simplicity  how  foolish  he  was  to  think  of  it. 

"I  guess  I  did  say  too  much,"  assented  the  girl.  "But  I've 
been  sorry  for  it  ever  since." 

' '  If  we  happen  to  see  Bob  and  I  get  him  to  quit  his  old  job  and 
come  with  us,  would  you  be  the  same  as  before  with  him?"  asked 
Herb. 

The  girl  kicked  up  a  little  sod  with  the  toe  of  her  shoe,  then 
turned  with  a  laugh  and  said:  "No,  I'd  be — just  a  little  different." 
"All  right,"  said  Herb,  "we'll  try  to  find  him.  for  the  trip 
won't  be  anything  without  him." 

*         *         •         * 

The  campers  wearied  away  the  rest  of  the  afternoon.  There 
was  nothing  to  do  around  the  town  but  keep  in  the  shade.  It  was 
even  too  hot  to  fish.  About  six  they  went  to  the  hotel  and  tried  to 
eat  a  little  of  its  so-called  supper.  Afterwards  they  engaged  rooms 
and  strolled  out  into  the  street.  Some  natives  were  sauntering 
towards  the  bridge,  directly  in  front  of  the  dam  a  few  hundred 


ST.    ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  15 

yards  further  down  the  river.  Slight  as  was  the  commotion,  it 
attracted  the  campers'  attention. 

"I  believe  the  cribs  are  coming  now,"  said  one.  "Let's  go 
dow^n  to  the  bridge. 

Soon  the  campers  were  leaning  over  the  wooden  railing  of  the 

bridge,  with  a  few  of  the  natives,  eagerly  waiting  to  see  the  cribs 

run  the  slide. 

*         #         *         * 

The  men  with  the  cribs  were  having  some  work  getting  them 
through  the  pond,  as  there  was  very  little  current  there,  but  with 
the  help  of  a  couple  of  warping  lines  and  a  big  scow^  they  soon  got 
them  near  the  dam. 

As  there  was  no  excitement  yet,  some  of  the  natives  on  the 
bridge  began  to  pass  remarks  in  what  they  thought  a  very  sarcastic 
way. 

' '  I  see  Petrie  gave  'em  lots  of  room, ' '  remarked  one. 

"Scared  o'  Jack  Gunn,"  sneered  another.  "Where  be  Jack? 
I  don 't  see  him  on  either  of  those  cribs. ' ' 

"He's  back  on  the  third  with  Doc — half  tight,  too,  I  think. 
There 'd  been  some  fun  if  Petrie  hadn't  moved  the  logs.  I  bet  he 
goes  to  bed  early,  if  they  stay  to-night,  anyway." 

' '  Oh,  Jack  won 't  touch  him ;  he  gave  'em  lots  of  room  this 
time." 

While  the  natives  had  been  discussing  Petrie  and  Jack  Gunn 
two  lumberjacks  had  landed  and  walked  out  on  the  dam.  They 
stuck  a  couple  of  cant  hooks  in  the  white  windlasses  over  the  stop- 
logs  and  raised  the  logs  one  by  one  until  they  had  the  water  rushing 
down  the  slide  like  a  cataract.  One  of  the  cribs  was  now  towed 
nearer  the  dam,  until  it  w^as  caught  by  the  current  and  carried 
towards  the  slide.  Gradually  it  gained  speed,  then  dipped,  shot 
down,  bounced  a  little  on  the  white  water  below,  and  then  was 
swept  on,  right  under  the  bridge  where  the  campers  were  standing, 
but  slackened  speed  as  the  current  became  less  swift  in  the  river 
below. 

"Don't  I  wish  I  was  on  one  of  those  cribs,"  said  a  camper. 
"It's  better  than  shooting  the  chutes." 

The  second  crib  went  through  the  same  operation,  and  soon  was 
drifting  down  the  river  below^  the  bridge.  Then  the  third  crib 
started,  but  by  some  mischance  it  struck  the  slide  about  two-thirds 
down,  which  threw  it  out  of  its  course.     But  Doc,  Jack  Gunn  and 


16  ST.    ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

Glen  Miller  were  on  it — three  men  as  good  as  Macdunna  could  wish 
to  have  on  any  crib. 

"There's  Bob!  There's  Bob!"  yelled  Edythe,  catching  sight  of 
Doc,  just  before  the  crib  struck.  "But  I  feel  he's  going  to  be 
drowned,  and  oh !  it  will  be  my  fault. ' ' 

"By  gosh!  it's  Bob  all  right,"  said  Herb;  "but  he's  not  going 
to  be  drowned.     Heavens!  didn't  that  crib  hit  the  slide  a  bang?" 

The  jolt  of  the  crib  hitting  sent  it  swirling  across  the  white 
water.  It  completely  submerged  for  a  minute,  then  ro.se  entirely 
out  of  its  course.  It  had  shot  right  across  the  current  and  one  end 
struck  on  a  little  island  below  the  dam.  The  whole  crib  started  to 
swing  round  and  threatened  to  break  up  on  the  island. 

"Quick!"  yelled  Doc.  "Don't  let  that  other  end  strike  or  she'll 
go  to  pieces." 

Pike  in  hand,  he  sprang  off  the  crib  and  struck  out  for  the 
island,  about  ten  feet  away,  followed  by  the  two  men.  The  current 
swept  them  down  a  little,  but  a  few  strong  strokes  carried  them 
into  water  up  to  their  w^aists,  and  .soon  the  three  lumbermen  were 
putting  all  their  strength  into  their  pikes  to  keep  the  crib  from 
swinging  onto  the  island. 

"Oh,  he's  drowning  himself!"  cried  Edythe.  as  Doc  jumped 
into  the  water.  "He  saw"  me,  he  saw  me,  and  hates  me."  Herb 
was  too  interested  to  reply  to  this  outburst. 

"Pretty  piece  of  work,"  said  one  of  the  natives.  "Quick  head, 
that  Doc.  If  he'd  been  a  minute  later  she'd  have  swung  up  and 
gone  to  pieces  and  he'd  been  the  rest  of  the  summer  picking  logs 
up   in  Balsam." 

Doc  and  the  men  gradually  pushed  the  crib  out  into  the  cur- 
rent, jumped  on,  and  were  soon  swept  under  the  bridge  and  down 
with  the  other  cribs. 

"Oh,  Bob,  Bob!"  yelled  Edythe.  as  the  crib  swept  by.  "Oh, 
he's  gone,  and  didn't  see  us." 

"If  it's  any  man  on  that  crib  you  want  to  see.  he'll  be  back 
all  right,"  said  one  of  the  nativ(\s.  "They'll  be  mighty  diy  after 
that  little  work." 

The  natives  moved  away  and  the  campere  with  them.  The 
scow  now  ran  the  slide,  and  the  men  put  back  the  stop-logs,  and 
soon  the  pond  and  river  were  as  serene  as  ever. 

*         *         *         * 

Up  a  side  street  of  the  little  village  came  a  sound  of  tramping 


SI.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW  17 

as  if  St.  Croix's  army  was  afoot.  But  it  attracted  no  attention  in 
that  village,  as  it  was  only  the  lumbermen  coming  for  a  drink. 
Each  man  had  his  pike  with  him,  and  they  filed  up  the  street, 
stacked  the  pikes  against  the  side  of  the  hotel,  and  lined  up  against 
the  .bar. 

After  the  third  round  Doc  called  Jack  Gunn  aside. 

"Jack,"  said  he.  "that's  my  limit.  Don't  make  a  hog  of  your- 
self, and  try  and  keep  the  men  straight.  AVe'll  stay  here  to-night. 
I'm  going  down  to  look  after  the  cribs." 

"All  right.  Doc,"  said  Jack,  already  half -shot.  "I'll  do  my 
best." 

Doc  walked  out  of  the  bar  and  down  to  the  river,  where  the 
cribs  were  tied.  By  some  mischance  he  missed  Herb,  who  reached 
the  bar  just  after  he  had  left.  Doe  gave  a  few  orders  to  the  cook 
and  put  in  half  an  hour's  work  making  the  cribs  secure  for  the 
night. 

He  was  strolling  back  up  the  street,  when  he  remembered  a 
lumberman,  an  old  friend  of  his,  who  had  been  hurt  in  the  shanties 
in  the  winter.  He  entered  a  little  white  cottage  and  talked  the 
remainder  of  the  evening  with  the  sick  man.  About  ten-thirty  he 
started  out  to  get  the  boys  in,  when  he  ran  into  Herb. 

"Bob,  you  old  skate,"  cried  Herb,  "have  you  been  trying  to 
miss  us  on  purpose  ?  I 've  been  looking  all  night  for  you.  Edythe's 
at  the  hotel,  half  crazy;  thinks  you're  trying  to  skip  us  on  her 
account. ' ' 

' '  Why,  Herb, ' '  cried  Bob,  "  I  'm  glad  to  see  you.  But — did  you 
say  Edythe's  out  here? — and  wants  to  see  me?" 

"Wants  to  see  you.  Bob?  I  should  say  she  does;  nearly  had  a 
fit  when  you  jumped  off  that  crib." 

"Come  on  over  to  the  hotel  then,"  said  Doc.  "I  should  see 
about  the  men,  but  that'll  do  later.     Come  on!" 

After  Doc  had  left  the  bar  Jack  Gunn  forgot  everything  the 
boss  had  told  him  and  proceeded  to  get  gloriously  full.  At  half- 
past  ten  he  bought  a  bottle  of  gin,  and  he  and  Glen  Miller  started 
for  home.  Both  were  natives  of  the  village,  but  had  been  up  at  the 
Sault  all  spring  and  summer,  and  had  been  working  their  way 
back  when  they  struck  Macdunna's  drive  coming  through. 

They  were  crossing  the  bridge  when  they  met  some  of  the  vil- 


18  ST.     ANDREWS     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

lage  sports.  Jack  at  once  thought  it  necessary  for  a  drink  all 
around. 

"Where's  ya  been  all  sunmu'r,  Jack?"  asked  one. 

"Me  and  Glen's  been  up  north,  up  at  the  Sault.  Ain't  we. 
Glen?" 

' '  Yeh, ' '  said  ( J  len.    "  That 's  right. ' ' 

"We's  been  riding  logs  where  there  am  swift  water,  too.  This 
yer  river's  like  a  millpond  to  what  we  was  through.  Ain't  it. 
Glen?" 

"Yeh,  that's  right,  Jack,"  said  Glen,  too  drunk  to  say  much 
more. 

"It  takes  me  and  Glen  to  ride  'em  in  the  white  water,  too. 
Many  a  log  we 's  rid  where  the  white  water  flows.    Eh,  Glen  ? ' ' 

"That's  right.  Jack,"  said  Glen.    "We  have." 

' '  I  was  powder-monkey  on  that  drive, ' '  continued  Jack.  ' '  Pow- 
der-monkey, the  man  with  the  donamite.  Four  dollars  a  day.  See! 
Takes  old  Jack  to  break  the  jams;  takes  me  to  find  the  key-log. 
Eh,  Glen?" 

"That's  right,  Jack;  you  kin." 

"Well,  boys,  we  must  be  gettin'  on.    Have  another  drink?" 

"No,  thanks.  Jack." 

Jack  was  trying  to  impress  on  one  of  them  that  he  needed  a 
drink,  when  he  accidentally  stepped  on  the  man's  boot  with  his 
calks,  which  went  through  the  leather  like  so  many  awls. 

"Hold  on,"  said  Jack;  "if  I've  spoilt  your  boot  I'll  pay.  Old 
Jack 's  got  the  money,  too.    Eh,  Glen  ? ' ' 

"That's  right.  Jack,  you  have,"  said  Glen. 

Jack  was  trying  to  find  the  holes  in  the  man's  boot  when  Doc 
and  Herb  came  along  on  their  way  to  the  hotel,  and  Doc  forgot 
Edythe  for  a  minute. 

"Come  on,  Jack,"  he  said;  "you'd  better  come  home.  You're 
going  to  sleep  at  home,  aren't  you?" 

"Yeh,  if  the  old  woman  don't  kick  me  out.  She  ran  me  out 
with  a  broom  last  time.    But  I  was  drunk  then." 

"You'd  better  turn  in  too.  Miller,"  said  Doc.  "Come  on. 
Jack,"  and,  taking  him  by  the  arm.  Doc  soon  had  him  at  his  gate 
in  spite  of  all  protests,  "Jack,'"  said  Doc,  "you  were  with  me 
when  Macdunna  gave  me  the  orders  about  the  cribs,  weren  't  you  ? ' ' 

"Yes." 

"Well,  you're  boss  now,  and  you're  to  caiTv  out  those  orders. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  19 

Understand?  I'm  going  back  up  the  lakes  on  a  canoe  trip,  and 
I'll  explain  to  Macdnnna. " 

"I  undei-stand,  Doe,  but  — "  The  intoxicated  man  let  his  hand 
fall  heavily  on  Doc's  shoulder,  and  his  grasp  closed  con\Tilsively. 
"Doc,"  he  began  again,  "don't  do  it.  If  you  went  back  to  Mae- 
dunna  and  said  you'd  quit  he'd  brain  you  with  a  peevey  or  kick 
your  face  off  with  his  calks." 

"That's  all  right.  Jack;  I'll  take  care  of  myself.  All  I'm  afraid 
of  is  that  you  won 't  get  the  cribs  through. ' ' 

Gunn  pushed  Doc  out  to  the  end  of  his  arm,  still  holding  his 
shoulder.  He  gazed  into  his  eyes  like  a  child  for  a  minute. 
"You're  right,  Doc;  you're  right,"  he  said  at  last,  his  voice  break- 
ing. "You're  a  greater  man  than  Macdunna  ever  was  or  will  be. 
He'd  be  yellar  to  touch  you.  I'll  see  the  cribs  go  through  all 
right."  A.  MoRPHY. 


SCARFACE. 


T  N  the  soft  mellow  sunshine  which  glanced  brightly  on  the 
T*  golden  sand  by  the  side  of  a  brawling  mountain  stream  in 
y  Kootenay  lay  a  mother  grizzly  and  her  litter  of  cubs.  The 
cubs  were  snarling  and  gnashing  their  teeth  over  a  salmon,  scooped 
from  the  stream  by  the  quick  paw  and  sharp  claws  of  the  mother. 
Finally  one  big  fellow  conquered  and  quietly  departed  with  the 
greater  part  of  the  fish  to  eat  it  in  peace  when  crack!  a  bullet 
from  a  44  Winchester  dropped  him  in  his  tracks. 

Instantly  the  sleeping  mother  was  aroused.  An  angry  growl 
was  emitted  from  her,  her  eyes  turned  to  little  red  balls  of  fire,  and 
she  charged  in  the  slow  and  ungainly  manner  of  her  kind  upon  the 
intruder.  But  again  the  muzzle  of  the  rifle  spat  fire,  and  the 
mother,  shot  through  the  heart,  fell  far  short  of  her  intended  vic- 
tim, crawled  a  step  or  two  farther,  and  then  rolled  over,  an  inert 
mass,  within  a  yard  of  the  hunter. 

The  cubs  now  turned  and  endeavored  to  escape,  but  again  and 
again  the  rifle  echoed  through  the  woods  as  the  hunter  pursued 
the  cubs,  and  soon  a  deathlike  stillness  told  the  unseen  tragedy 
which  had  been  enacted. 

But  what  is  this?     The  cub  with  the  salmon  slowly  arises  and 


20  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

staggers  down  to  the  stream,  where  he  takes  shelter  behind  the 
waterfall  that  shoots  far  over  a  ledge  of  rock,  leaving  just  room 
enough  for  him  to  stay  there  without  getting  wet. 

Here  he  stay(^d  till  the  hunter  had  collected  his  game  and  gone 
off  for  help  to  carry  it  to  the  village.  Then  he  came  out  and  tried 
to  wake  his  mother.  His  efforts  proving  futile,  however,  he  seemed 
to  gather,  as  if  by  instinct,  that  she  was  dead,  and  with  a  miserable 
little  cry  ran  to  the  warm  den  underneath  the  roots  of  a  gigantic 
Douglas  fir,  and.  crouching  in  the  innermost  recesses,  whimpered 
himself  to  sleej). 

He  was  not  hurt  nuich,  for  the  bullet  had  merely  grazed  the  top 
of  his  head  from  his  eyes  back  to  his  ears,  and  had  only  stunned 
him,  but  the  scar  it  left  was  looked  for  on  all  grizzlies  by  hunters 
when  he  had  matured  and  grown  to  notoriety. 

Next  morning  he  was  very  hungry  and  longed  for  his  mother 
to  come,  perhaps  with  a  .salmon  or  a  partridge,  or  even  a  mouse 
would  have  tasted  well  then.  Slowly  he  crept  from  the  den  and 
up  to  his  favorite  berry  patch,  wliere  he  succeeded  in  somewhat 
alleviating  the  gnawing  pains  of  hunger.  Then  he  went  back  to 
the  hole  under  the  tree,  for  he  was  sick  and  his  wound  bothered  him. 

Thus  he  continued  till  winter  arrived.  Then  he  stayed  in  his 
hole  and  slept  as  only  a  bear  can  sleep,  when  suddenly  he  awoke  to 
the  fact  that  the  snow  was  gone  and  the  sun  was  warm  and  bright. 
He  crawled  outside  and  went  to  get  a  drink  in  the  stream,  when 
he  was  startled  by  seeing  a  big  bear  with  a  heavy  scar  on  his  head 
and  looking  thin  and  emaciated  with  hunger  reflected  in  the  limpid 
water  of  the  pool  below  the  falls.  Starting  back,  he  looked  round, 
but  was  unable  to  see  any  other  bear,  until  it  finally  dawned  upon 
him  tliat  he  was  the  bear,  that  he  was  almost  full-grown,  and  also 
that  he  was  the  biggest  bear  he  had  ever  seen. 

He  then  took  a  drink  and  ambled  over  the  brow  of  the  hill  in 
search  of  food.  How  strange  was  tliis  journey.  Animals  that  he 
had  fiwl  from  in  feai-  tui-ned  tail  and  lan  when  he  approached.  He 
became  conscious  nT  a  new-lxtin  contitlenee.  and.  acting  accordingly, 
he  killed  a  coon  wliii-h  lie  found  in  its  den.  His  hunger  was  .some- 
what appeased  by  lliis,  Init  still  he  i-ambled  on.  At  nightfall  he 
made  a  bed  in  a  thicket,  slept  there,  and  again  set  out  next  morning. 

And  so  things  went  on.  He  became  the  scourge  of  the  country 
by  killing  sliecp  and  cattle  on  his  visits  to  the  settlements.     Man 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  21 

after  man  hunted  him;  trap  after  trap  was  set  foi-  him,  l)ut  he  was 
invulnerable  to  everything. 

One  day,  as  he  was  stalking-  along,  he  met  another  l)ear,  smallet- 
but  older  than  himself.  Instantly  he  rushed  at  it,  expecting  it  to 
flee,  but  what  was  his  surprise  when  he  found  himself  knocked 
down  as  if  by  a  battering  ram,  and  before  he  could  regain  his  feet 
he  was  being  so  furiously  bitten  and  cut  that  he  took  to  his  heels 
and  left  the  other  bear  to  domineer  over  that  part  of  the  range. 

He  was  so  bruised  and  battered  that  for  the  next  few  days  he 
remained  in  one  of  his  lairs,  where  he  vowed  eternal  vengeance 
against  his  conqueror.  . 

Winter  came  again,  and  he  was  again  forced  to  hibernate,  but 
the  following  spring  found  him  inatured  to  his  full  strength  and 
grown  to  immense  proportions. 

His  first  act  was  to  meet  the  bear  which  had  thrash(Hl  him  and 
to  administer  to  it  such  a  drubbing  that  his  domination  of  the 
range  was  never  again  questioned.  Then  he  proceeded  to  a  ranch 
owned  by  a  young  man  named  Ridgway.  Here  a  fine  bull,  majestic 
in  its  strength  and  power,  charged  at  him.  Scarface  with  one  blow 
of  his  huge  paw  stretched  it  on  the  plain  with  a  broken  skull,  and, 
having  eaten  his  fill,  returned  to  the  woods. 

Coming  upon  the  carcass  of  the  bull,  Ridgway  vowed  vengeance 
against  Scarface,  for  he  knew  no  other  could  have  broken  the  bull's 
skull  as  it  had  been  broken.  Taking  his  rifle  and  camp  kit,  he  pro- 
ceeded to  trail  Scarface.  For  over  a  week  the  chase  continued.  The 
bear  was  elusive,  the  man  determined.  At  last  Ridgnvay  got  within 
range  of  him.  Scarface  paused,  and  as  he  did  so  his  side  and 
shoulder  were  plainly  brought  to  view.  Up  went  the  rifle,  but 
slowly  it  dropped  down  again.  The  cunning,  wit,  strength  and 
nobleness  of  the  animal  overwhelmed  him,  and  while  he  pondered 
Scarface  disappeared.  Shouldering  his  kit,  Ridgway  started  home, 
calling  himself  a  soft-hearted  fool,  but  deep  down  in  his  heart  he 
was  glad  that  he  had  let  Scarface  go. 

But  he  was  not  to  regret  this.  Scarface  seemed  imbued  with  a 
sense  of  duty  to  Ridgway.  No  more  were  sheep  and  cattle  ruth- 
lessly slaughtered.  Only  once  in  a  while,  when  food  was  scarce, 
was  a  sheep  or  one  of  his  herd  killed,  and  then  it  was  only  Scarface 
who  killed  it.  No  more  mountains  lions  were  heard  of,  and  the 
cattle  were  no  longer  in  danger  of  attack.    Scarface  patrolled  the 


22  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

cattle,  and  if  a  hungry  wildcat  or  a  lynx  killed  a  sheep  he  was 
immediately  tracked  down  by  Scarface  and  never  heard  of  again. 
Scarface  reigned  supreme  in  his  range  for  many  years,  until  he 
at  last  succumbed  to  old  age.  "We  may  add  that,  though  there  are 
fears  for  men,  if  there  is  an  animal  heaven,  we  need  have  no  fear 
for  Scarface.  D.  R.  C.  Wright. 


TRUE  WORTH  OF  CHARACTER, 


HERE  is  a  structure  whch  every  person  is  building,  both 
young  and  old,  everyone  working  for  himself.  This  is  called 
^  character,  and  every  act  of  life  is  a  stone  in  helping  on  the 
structure.  If  day  by  day  we  are  careful  to  build  up  our  lives  with 
pure,  noble,  upright  deeds,  at  the  last  will  stand  a  fair  temple 
honored  by  God  and  man.  But  as  one  leak  will  sink  a  ship  and 
one  small  flaw  break  a  chain,  so  will  one  mean,  dishonorable  act  or 
word  leave  its  impress  and  work  its  influence  on  our  character. 

Truthfulness  is  the  corner-stone  of  our  building,  and  if  it  is  not 
firmly  laid  in  youth  there  will  ever  be  a  weak  spot  in  the  founda- 
tion. Here  is  a  great  building  going  up,  point  by  point,  story  by 
story,  though  we  are  not  conscious  of  it.  It  is  a  building  of  char- 
acter, something  more  to  be  proud  of  than  a  building  of  bricks  or 
stone. 

Our  minds  are  given  to  us,  but  our  characters  we  make  for  our- 
selves, and  as  a  number  of  trees  make  up  an  orchard,  so  a  number 
of  acts  and  words  make  up  a  character. 

Some  people  have  the  idea  that  character  means  actions  alone 
and  what  people  think  of  us,  but  it  also  means  thoughts  and  words 
just  as  nuich  as  acts. 

It  is  the  essence  of  being.  It  is  nothing  more  or  less  than  the 
self,  the  all  of  a  person's  life. 

Deep  down  beneath  graces  and  gifts  back  of  all  its  measures, 
lies  the  make-up  of  the  person,  the  character.  Though  the  people  of 
the  whole  world  breathe  in  the  same  air  and  are  subject  to  the  same 
accidents,  troubles  and  joys,  yet  there  are  not  two  pei*sons  alike — 
the  character  is  different  in  each.  The  most  imperial  thing  in  the 
universe  is  the  character,  but  it  is  a  delicate  organ,  for  the  slightest 
touch  leaves  its  impression.     The  inner  self  is  undergoing  a  con- 


ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW  23 

stant  change.  Every  book  read,  every  deed  performed,  the 
thoughts  we  entertain,  the  habits  indulged  in,  the  accidents  and 
surroundings  of  life,  mingle  with  the  being  and  become  a  part  of 
self.  Circumstance,  station  and  opportunity  may  have  much  to  do 
in  shaping  destiny,  but  our  active  self  is  the  chief  factor.  Circum- 
stances only  affect,  t'hey  never  create  character.  ]\Iany  believe  that 
circumstances  cause  their  failures  and  ill-luck,  but  this  wrong  idea 
should  be  cast  aside. 

These  never  accomplish  much,  for  they  live  the  life  that  they 
think  they  were  made  for.  A  man  must  not  blame  his  failures  to 
hard  luck  and  unkind  fate. 

The  influential  citizens  of  any  community  are  not  the  men  of 
brains  or  wealth,  but  those  of  upright  character. 

The  public  knows  that  intellect  may  become  trickery,  wealth 
treachery,  but  character  stands  like  Gibraltar.  It  has  been  defined 
as  the  joint  product  of  nature.  It  determines  rank,  measures  and 
influence ;  it  demands  respect.  Nature  gives  the  raw  material ; 
character  is  the  carved  statue. 

Reputation  and  character  are  two  different  things,  yet  reputa- 
tion seems  to  count  in  some  instances.  Character  is  what  we  are; 
reputation  is  what  is  attributed  to  us.  Reputation  is  an  idle  and 
most  false  imposition,  oft  got  without  merit  and  lost  without  de- 
serving. 

Let  us  all  assist  in  building  this  great  structure.  We  can  never 
start  too  soon,  as  it  is  a  noble  enterprise,  in  which  we  should  all 
take  part. 

Honor  bears  a  close  relation  to  character.  In  St.  Andrew's 
College  there  is  plenty  of  honor  among  the  boys,  hence  plenty  of 
character. 

The  Hon.  Wm.  Jennings  Bryan  painted  a  beautiful  picture  for 
us — "evergreen."  Many  of  us  who  are  continually  looking  on  the 
funny  side  of  life  take  such  expressions  with  great  disgust.  Mr. 
Bryan  assured  us  however,  that  he  was  in  no  way  hinting  at  the 
yellow  fruit  with  which  we  are  all  so  familiar.  Again,  too,  he 
mentioned  the  buzzard  and  the  bee,  and  all  who  heard  his  fine  ad- 
dress on  the  11th  of  February  will,  doubtless,  not  forget  his  com- 
parison. 

Mr.  R.  A.  Waite,  International  Secretary  of  the  Y.  M.  C.  A.,  in 
his  address  to  us  on  the  morning  of  the  13th  of  ]March,  impressed 


24  ST.     ANDREW'S    COLLEGE^    REVIEW 

upon  us  the  importance  of  good  clean  companions  and  the  resist- 
ance of  bad  habits. 

Dr.  Maodonald  always  has  new  and  original  advice  to  offer  us 
each  Sunday  evening,  and  in  days  to  come  when  we  look  back  on 
our  "teens"  we  will  never  regret  our  early  opportunities,  but  will 
always  feel  young  enough  to  join  in  that  good  old  college  yell — 

Hoot,   Hoot,   Mon,   Hoot! 

Hoo,   Raa,   Ri ! 

Protai  Aei  S.  A.  C. 

S-t-a-n-d-r-u 

College!  G.  Bartlett  Frost. 


CONTRABAND  OF  WAR, 

HE  "was  a  cargo  steamer  of  twenty-six  hundred  tons,  perhaps 
two  liiindred  and  forty  feet  over  all.  and  had  a  beam  of 
thirty-nine  feet.  Her  engines  were  simple  compounds,  and 
she  made  her  seventeen  point  five  in  fair  Aveather. 

Her  nationality  was  Norwegian,  but  her  house  flag  was  never 
listed.  She  led  a  cheekei-ed  and  varied  career,  which  often  necessi- 
tated the  services  of  a  consul.  Her  name  she  changed  when  occasion 
demanded,  her  paint  and  rig  still  more  often,  but  her  crew  signed 
on  voyage  after  voyage  with  unwonted  regularity. 

At  last  her  tradin«i's  led  her  to  gun-running,  and  the  spring  of 
a  certain  year  saw4ier  standing  out  from  the  Golden  Gate  bound 
for  Vladivostoiv  loaded  to  the  hatch-covers  with  an  assorted  cargo, 
billed  as  farming  implements  and  machinery. 

For  two  weeks  the  '' Bona  vista,"  as  she  was  called,  ploughed 
eastward  through  a  gray-green  sea  bounded  l)y  a  gray-green  sky, 
while  her  tiremen  threw  spanners  and  nuts  at  refractory  stokei*s, 
and  her  skipper  cursed  at  the  quality  and  quantity  of  her  coal. 

Then,  crossing  the  line  of  traffic,  she  fled  up  the  coast  of  Japan 
at  her  top  speed,  describing  a  neat  half-circle  around  a  fat  gunboat 
which  puffed  despairingly  in  her  wake,  while  the  crew  jeered  and 
passed  nneomplimentary  remai-ks  on  tlie  (|nality  of  Japanese  gun- 
nery. 

Now,  a  slii|)  with  clean  papers  does  not  as  a  rule  flee  from  the 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  25 

gunboat  of  a  foreign  power,  so  the  wireless  aboard  the  gunboat 
crackled  and  spit  far  into  the  night,  and  at  daylight  the  "Bono- 
vista,"  driving  north  under  a  full  head  of  steam,  found  herself  in 
such  a  position  that  she  could  not  mistake  the  meaning  of  a  neat 
arrangement  of  signal  flags  a  mile  to  seaward.  She  had  her  chance 
and  she  took  it.  Crossing  the  cruiser's  bow,  she  drove  up  the  coast 
of  Japan  minus  her  bridge. 

For  two  days  she  fled  on.  never  quite  losing  sight  of  the  black 
trail  of  smoke  astern,  while  her  donkey  engines  rattled  and  roared 
and  case  after  case  of  rifles  plunged  over  the  side. 

The  stokers  remember  those  three  days  very  dimly.  They  re- 
member the  loose  coal  sliding  and  tumbling  over  the  iron  floor,  as 
the  steamer  pitched  and  rolled,  and  that  barrow  after  barrow  was 
filled  and  trundled  aft  to  the  stokehold,  where  the  wide-eyed  trim- 
mers mechanically  cursed  them  and  asked  for  more.  They  remem- 
ber the  chief  engineer  standing  on  an  overturned  barrow  and  wedg- 
ing the  safety  valve  with  a  shovel,  while  the  swaying  trimmers 
passed  the  long  shovels  in  and  out  of  the  furnace  doors,  where  the 
white  flame  ran  in  and  out  over  the  surface  of  the  coal.  Once  a 
man  who  had  drunk  too  much  water  dropped  his  shovel  and  doubled 
up,  shrieking,  on  the  floor  with  stokers'  cramp.  Him  they  packed 
into  the  ash-hoist  and  ran  him  up  to  recover  on  deck.  These  and 
many  more  things  will  they  tell  you. 

Yezo  and  the  Gulf  of  Tartary  had  long  been  passed,  and  the 
morning  of  the  third  day  found  the  "Bonavista"  driving  past  Cape 
Lapatka  and  on  into  Bering  Sea,  still  pursued  by  the  trail  of  smoke. 

Making  58  degrees  North,  she  doubled  around  the  Commander 
Islands,  hoping  to  shake  off'  her  pursuer,  but  by  daybreak  of  the 
third  day  the  smoke  cloud  had  so  increased  in  size  that  she  was 
swung  east  again  and  made  for  the  Kurile  Islands. 

It  looked  as  if  her  luck  had  changed  at  last,  her  coal  was  gone, 
and  she  was  burning  her  woodwork,  and  the  bearings  of  the  forward 
piston-rod  cross-head  were  red  hot  and  were  eating  their  way  into 
the  piston-rod. 

The  cruiser  had  gained,  and  was  now  barely  seven  miles  astern, 
just  out  of  range.  But  the  "Bonavista"  had  one  more  card  to  play. 
Staggering  past  Cape  Lapatka  again,  riding  high,  and  barely  draw- 
ing twelve  feet,  she  headed  for  the  passage  between  two  uncharted 
islands  with  unpronounceable  names,  and  felt  her  way  through  the 


26  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

channel,  hurried  on  by  a  six-inch  shell  which  arrived  in  the  hold 
via  the  forward  cargo  hatch. 

The  commander  of  the  cruiser,  naturally  supposing  that  where 
a  loaded  freighter  could  go,  he  could  follow,  took  the  channel  at 
half  speed. 

What  happened  is  worthy  of  consideration.  The  cruiser  struck 
the  bottom  with  a  jar  that  lifted  her  a  foot  out  of  the  water  and 

brought  up  all  standing,  the  after  boiler  exploding  from  the  shock. 

*         «         *         * 

The  afternoon  sun  blazed  down  on  the  uncharted  island  and 
sparkled  on  the  dancing  water,  but  there  was  no  " Bonavista" — 
only  a  battered  cruiser,  whose  crew  swore  at  a  distant  trail  of  smoke 
and  waited  for  the  flood  tide.  L.  Bell. 


THE  LAST  RESORT, 

QLL  night  long  the  guns  had  roared,  and  now  as  the  gray 
morning  dawned  on  the  beleaguered  city  of  Georgetown 
it  showed  the  powder-blackened  garrison  still  working  their 
guns  manfully. 

Thrice  througii  the  night  had  the  united  squadrons  of  France 
and  Russia  attacked  the  town,  but  had  each  time  been  repulsed  with 
great  loss  to  both  sides;  but  now.  far  in  the  offing,  the  great  fleet 
was  preparing  for  a  final  assault,  which,  with  the  forts  in  their 
present  dilapidated  condition,  could  have  but  one  sequel. 

At  the  Marconi  station  on  the  citadel  the  Hertzian  waves  were 
bringing  in  a  cipher  message,  which  ran  as  follow's: 
"Will  arrive  by  dusk.     Hold  out  at  all  costs." 

(Signed)         "Xassa." 
When  the  commander  had  deciphered  the  message  he  touched  a 
bell.    Almost  instantly  a  small,  dark  man  appeared. 

"Douglas,"  said  the  commander,  "if  you  can  by  any  means 
prevent  that  fleet  attacking  us  before  the  Japs  arrive  by  dusk,  you 
will  have  that  promotion  for  which  you  have  so  long  been  waiting. 
I  will  leave  the  matter  entirely  in  your  hands." 

"I  will  do  my  best,  sir,"  replied  Douglas,  and  without  more 
adieu  set  out  for  the  dock,  where  a  large  submarine  boat  was 
anchored. 

Having  set  a  party  of  men  to  load  the  boat  with  torpedoes  and 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  27 

other  necessary  implements,  he  himself  carefully  overhauled  the 
engines  and  torpedo  tubes,  his  quick  eye  detecting  a  loose  bearing 
or  a  flaw  in  the  machinery.  At  last  all  was  ready,  and  amid  the 
cheers  and  well  wishes  of  the  garrison,  the  ''Viper"  and  her  daring 
crew  departed  on  their  perilous  enterprise. 

After  sailing  along  on  the  surface  till  they  came  within  about  a 
mile  of  the  hostile  fleet,  the  man-hole  was  closed  and  the  "Viper" 
sank  to  a  depth  of  twelve  feet.  Then,  forging  ahead  till  the  peri- 
scope pointed  out  the  huge  French  cruiser  "Miquelon"  not  fifty 
yards  distant,  the  engines  were  stopped  and  the  crew  stood  by 
the  two  torpedo  tubes,  waiting  for  the  order  which  would  rid  the 
seas  of  at  least  one  of  their  opponents. 

At  last  the  order  was  given,  and  as  Douglas  watched  for  the 
result  through  the  small  iron-bound  port-hole,  he  saw  a  huge  volume 
of  water  rise  up.  at  each  end  of  the  ship,  and  as  the  sound  of  the 
explosion  reached  them  through  the  water  the  bow  of  the  great 
cruiser  rose  high  out  of  water,  and  as  a  host  of  blue-clad  figures 
raced  across  the  slanting  decks  as  they  came  up  from  the  hatches 
the  mighty  ship  sank  stern  first  amidst  a  cloud  of  steam. 

Again  the  torpedoes  were  discharged,  and  this  time  the  Russian 
battleship  "'OhJioff"  turned  her  nose  landward  with  her  stern 
under  water  and  a  heavy  list  to  port. 

Till  about  three  in  the  afternoon  the  "Viper"  sailed  among  and 
under  the  blockading  fleet,  plying  her  work  of  destruction,  till  a 
well-placed  shell  from  a  gunboat  hit  the  periscope,  which  not  only 
rendered  that  instrument  useless,  but  also  flooded  the  boat  to  such 
an  extent  that  it  had  to  come  to  the  surface.  Hardly  had  it  come 
into  sight  when  the  water  was  torn  up  into  fountains  of  foam,  as 
every  gun  that  could  be  brought  to  bear  poured  its  iron  hail  on  the 
disabled  "Viper."  Again  she  sank,  but  hardly  had  she  left  the 
surface  when  a  large  torpedo  boat  destroyer  swept  down  on  it.  A 
slight  tremor  passed  over  the  destroyer  as  its  sharp  bow  cut  the 
"Viper"  in  two  just  amidships. 

As  Douglas  rose  to  the  surface,  through  the  churning  waters, 
and  as  his  bursting  lungs  inhaled  the  fresh  sea  air,  he  noticed  far 
away  on  the  horizon  a  cloud  of  smoke ;  then,  as  he  sank  again  for 
the  last  time,  he  heard  the  distant  boom  of  a  gun. 

The  Japanese  squadron  had  arrived,  the  "Viper"  with  all  her 
brave  crew  was  lost,  but  the  city  was  saved. 

Douglas  had  won  his  promotion — a  higher  one  than  man  could 
give.  H.  MacKeen. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 


29 


Athletics. 


HOCKEY, 


HE  hockey  season  of  1908  was  the  most  unsuccessful  in  the 
history  of  the  College.  Out  of  five  matches  played  only  one 
•*■  was  won,  but  as  this  was  with  U.  C.  C,  and  the  most  im- 
portant from  the  boys'  standpoint,  w^e  feel  that  our  record  was 
partly  retrieved.  College  had  by  no  means  a  weak  team,  but 
Varsity  III.  and  especially  T.  C.  S.  had  exceptionally  strong  ones, 
and  S.  A.  C.  were  forced  to  fight  uphill  battles  in  all  their  league 
games.  They  always  gave  a  good  account  of  themselves,  and  were 
well  supported  by  the  College.  We  have  no  excuses  to  make  for 
our  poor  showing,  as  without  doubt  the  better  teams  won,  and  ts^e 
wish  to  congratulate  T.  C.  S.  on  winning  the  group. 

Besides  the  intercollegiate  matches,  the  annual  exhibition  game 
was  played  against  U.  C.  C,  and  in  this  game  S.  A.  C.  succeeded  in 
breaking  their  string  of  defeats  and  won  handily  by  6 — 4.  This 
makes  the  record  of  games  for  the  year  as  follows : 


S.  A.  C.  vs.  Varsitv  III 

Lost 

3—  5 

S.  A.  C.  vs.  T.  C.  S 

Lost 

3—  9 

S.  A.  C.  vs.  T.  C.  S 

Lost 

5     12 

S.  A.  C.  vs.  Varsity  III 

Lost 

3—  6 

S.  A.  C.  vs.  U.  C.  C 

Won 

6— ,4 
W.  B 

5.>4.C.  vs.  VARSITY  IIL 


St.  Andrew's  opened  their  hockey  .season  on  January  5th  in  a 
junior  intercollegiate  fixture  with  Varsity  III.  A  great  deal  of 
interest  was  manifested  in  this  game,  as  the  boys  were  anxious  to 
ascertain  the  merits  of  the  team.  It  was  a  hard,  fast  game,  and, 
although  Varsity  won  by  5 — 3,  they  were  forced  to  the  very  limit. 
They  completely  outweighed  the  College  seven,  w'ho  played  a  plucln' 
game  against  w^eight  and  experience.     It  AvaS/in  this  game  that 


30  ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW 

S.  A.  C.'s  great  weakness,  shooting,  was  most  apparent.  Varsity 
also  seemed  off  color  in  this  line. 

The  game  opened  with  a  fierce  attack  on  the  College  nets,  and 
Smith  and  Grass  were  called  upon  frequently,  but  Varsity  kept 
pressing,  and  finally  McPherson  slipped  one  past  McKinnon  for 
the  first  score.  A  minute  later  a  shot  by  Oldham  netted  another, 
and  three  minutes  after  this,  on  a  combination  play,  Phippen  made 
it  3 — 0  for  Varsity.  With  this  lead  to  conquer,  S.  A.  C.  bucked  up, 
and  for  the  next  ten  minutes  outplayed  the  University  boys,  finally 
being  rewarded  by  a  score  on  ]\IcAvity's  hard  shot  from  the  side. 
From  this  till  half-time  it  was  a  ding-dong  contest,  both  teams  miss- 
ing numerous  chances  to  score,  but  just  before  time  the  College 
forwards  swept  down  four  abreast  and  Carling  shoved  in  one,  mak- 
ing it  3 — 2  for  Varsity. 

S.  A.  C.  started  the  second  half  full  of  confidence,  but  Varsity 
developed  a  sni-pi'ising  l)nrst  of  speed  and  forced  College  to  resume 
their  defensive  game.  Smith  played  a  very  useful  game  here, 
blocking  all  kinds  of  rushes,  but  the  forwards  failed  to  check  back, 
with  the  result  that  IMiippen  made  it  4 — 2  in  8  minutes.  Before 
S.  A.  C.  could  I'ceover,  Carter,  who  had  been  playing  a  strong  game, 
rushed  the  length  of  the  rink  and  then  passed  to  Phippen,  who 
again  netted  the  rnhl)ei'.  Varsity  could  not  keej)  up  the  pace,  and 
S.  A.  ('.  assumed  the  offensive.  They  rushed  down  the  ice  with  a 
good  three-man  combination,  but  Coryell  and  Carter  broke  up  most 
of  the  rushes,  while  several  golden  opportunities  of  scoring  were 
lo.st  by  weak  shooting.  Varsity  still  seemed  content  to  play  on  the 
defensive,  and  S.  A.  C.  were  forced  to  slow  down  on  account  of  their 
stiflf  body-checking.  But  College  were  not  to  be  denied,  and  with 
about  five  minutes  to  play  Carling  and  Kilgour  combined  for  a 
score.  They  were  unable  to  repeat  this,  however,  and  Varsity  were 
returned  winners.  For  S.  A.  C.  Smith  and  Carling  were  the  best, 
while  for  Varsity  Carter  and  Phippen  shone. 

The  University  boys  won  on  their  merits,  as  with  more  weight 
they  were  enabled  to  check  harder.  Had  S.  A.  C.  been  better  shots 
the  sc'ore  might  have  been  closer,  but  there  is  no  doubt  that  Varsity 
had  a  shade  the  better  of  the  argument. 

The  teams: 

S.  A.  C. :  Goal,  ^IcKinnon ;  point,  Grass;  cover  point,  Smith; 
rover,  Kilgour;  centre,  (-arling;  right  wing.  INIeAvity;  left  wing, 
Oliver. 


ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW  31 

Varsity  III. :  Goal,  McLaren ;  point,  Carter ;  cover  point,  Cor- 
yell ;  rover,  McPherson ;  centre,  Phippen ;  right  wing,  Oldham ;  left 
wing,  McDonald.  W.  B. 


S,A,C.  vs,  T.C.S, 


The  next  game  was  with  T.  C.  S.,  and  as  they  had  tied  Varsity 
on  the  round  there  was  considerable  speculation  as  to  the  result, 
but  the  most  ardent  supporters  of  the  College  team  were  doomed 
to  disappointment,  as  T.  C.  S.  won  in  rather  easy  fashion  by  9  to  3. 
The  Trinity  boys  had  a  fast,  well-balanced  team,  while  the  College 
seven  did  not  play  as  aggressively  as  against  Varsity  and  seemed 
decidedly  off  color. 

The  game  started  at  4.30,  and  the  whistle  had  scarcely  blown 
when  T.  C.  S.,  by  a  brilliant  three-man  combination,  scored  the 
first  goal.  A  minute  later  Ball  slipped  a  long  shot  past  the  defence, 
making  it  2 — 0.  T.  C.  S.  continued  to  press,  and  the  Saints  failed 
to  work  together  and  played  rather  ineffective  hockey.  The  defence 
seemed  unable  to  check  the  speedy  Port  Hope  forwards,  and  in  a 
few  minutes  the  score  stood  4 — -0.  At  this  stage  College  took  a 
decided  brace  and  the  play  became  very  equal.  T.  C.  S.  were 
forced  on  the  defensive,  and,  playing  brilliant  hockey.  College,  after 
Drummond  had  stopped  some  hot  ones,  succeeded  in  notching  their 
first  just  before  the  gong  sounded. 

T.  C.  S.  started  the  second  half  with  a  rush,  but  College  replied 
gamely,  and  the  first  part  of  the  half  was  productive  of  the  best 
hockey  of  the  game.  Port  Hope  scored  first,  making  it  5 — 1,  but 
St.  Andrew's  replied  quickly.  A  minute  later  T.  C.  S.  again  wid- 
ened the  gap,  but  S.  A.  C,  urged  on  by  their  supporters,  once 
more  came  within  range.  The  score  now  stood  6 — 3  for  Port  Hope, 
and  at  this  stage  a  close  game  seemed  probable.  But  College  for- 
wards tired  with  the  fast  pace,  and  the  remainder  of  the  half  was 
decidedly  in  favor  of  the  visitors,  who  successfully  eluded  the 
S.  A.  C.  defence  three  times  before  the  final  gong. 

For  S.  A.  C.  Carling  was  the  best,  his  rushing  being  a  feature. 
Kilgour  and  McAvity  were  also  good.  The  forwards  were  weak  in 
checking  back,  while  the  defence  allowed  some  easy  shots  to  evade 
them. 


32  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

For  T.  (".  S.  cvci-ybody  played  a  good  game,  their  combination 
and  speed  htnng  a  noticeable  feature. 

The  teams: 

S.  A.  ('.:  Goal.  .McKinnon;  point.  Grass;  cover,  Smith;  rover. 
Kilgour:  centre,  Carlinf,*-;  right  wing.  ^NfcAvity;  left  wing,  Oliver. 

T.  C.  S. :  Goal,  Drummond  II.:  point,  Pinkham:  cover,  McGib- 
bon :  rovei-.  Hall:  centre,  Drummond  I.:  right  wing,  Maynard;  left 
wing,  ('.iinphelj.  W.  B. 


S.A,C.  vs.   U.CC. 


'Y\\i'  .iiiiiiial  game  Ix'twceii  S.  A.  ('.  and  U.  C.  C.  took  place  at 
the  .Mutiifil  Street  Rink  on  Fehi-ufiry  21st.  In  this  game  S.  A.  C. 
sncceedcd  in  breaking  their  string  of  defeats  and  WQn  handily  by 
6 — i.  It  w;is  a  tiltinu  wind-np  1o  the  College  hockey  season,  as  it 
left  everyb(»(ly  siitislied  with  the  work  of  the  team.  Both  colleges 
tni-ned  ont  loyally,  and  the  rink  at  all  times  resounded  with  their 
numcfous  yd  is.  Tlic  game  itself  was  fast  and  exciting,  and  kept 
up  the  enthusiasm  of  tlie  hoys  from  beginning  to  end.  T''.  C.  C,  as 
in  tlie  Kughy  match.  Hnished  strong,  ])ut  S.  A.  ('.  always  had  th«' 
game  in  liand,  and  tlicir  lead  of  four  goals  pi'oved  too  much  foi" 
U.  ('.  ('."s  plucky  tinisli. 

The  teams  were  given  ;i  Lircat  i-eccplion  when  they  stepped  on 
the  ice.  iind  this.  eou|)le(l  with  their  detei'inination  to  win.  ma<]e 
them  iinxions  to  Liet  at  one  another.  Kefei-ee  AVaghorne  did  not 
keep  them  long,  howevei'.  and  the  game  eonnneneed  at  3.4.")  sharp. 
Both  teams  started  at  a  I'ast  clip,  hut  S.  A.  ('.,  urged  on  by  tlie  eon- 
tiiuious  eheeriiiL:'  of  their  .su[)|)<irteis.  toi-c  in  on  tlie  V .  ('.  ('.  net  with 
a  vengeaiiee.  but  I'pixT  Canada  i-elieved  again  and  again.  This 
only  maile  S.  A.  ( '.  woi-k'  hatder.  and  tliey  hoivd  in  i>ersislently. 
finall\'  sneeecdin'.;-  in  scorinu'  the  lirst  goal  of  the  match,  lint 
V.  (".  ('.  were  not  loim  in  e\-eninL:  np.  as  a  minute  later  Adams 
scorcHJ  on  a  eomhination  rush.  The  next  u'oal  also  went  to  our  op- 
])onents,  and  the  \' .  ('.  ('.  liovs  went  wild.  But  their  enjoyment 
was  slioi't-lived.  as  the  ri'mainder  of  the  half  was  occupied  with 
almost  continuous  iiishes  on  the  l'.  ('.  ('.  goal.  Woods  played  very 
creditably  Imt  befori'  the  gong  sounded  three  shots  had  eluded  him 
a.ml  the  teams  left  the  ice  with  the  Saints  in-the  lead  bv  4 — 2. 


i 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  33 

S.  A.  C.  started  the  second  half  in  whirlwind  fashion.  They 
rushed  through  and  around  the  U.  C.  C.  team,  and  McAvity  and 
Carling-  both  notched  a  goal,  making  the  score  6 — 2.  A  minute  later 
Carling  went  right  to  the  U.  C.  C.  net,  but  Woods'  spectacular  stop 
saved  what  looked  like  a  sure  goal.  S.  A.  C.  seemed  to  be  out  of 
condition  and  slowed  down  considerably,  LT.  C.  C.  assuming  the 
offensive.  For  the  next  ten  minutes  Thompson  was  subjected  to  a 
storm  of  shots,  but  he  was  equal  to  the  task  and  gave  a  wonderful 
exhibition.  He  stopped  them  from  near  and  far,  and  U.  C.  C.  was 
only  able  to  get  two  lucky  scores.  S.  A.  C.  had  by  this  time  .steadied 
down,  and  the  rest  of  tthe  contest  was  practically  an  even  break. 
The  game  ended  with  U.  C.  C.  vainly  endeavoring  to  haul  down  the 
Saints'  lead.  As  there  was  no  gong,  the  referee  was  unaware  of  the 
conclusion  of  the  game,  and  30  seconds  extra  time  was  played,  in 
which  U.  C.  C.  scored  another  goal,  but  as  this  was  distinctly  after 
time,  according  to  both  timekeepers,  the  goal  was  rightly  not  al- 
lowed. 

For  S,  A,  C.  Thompson  was  the  shining  star,  his  goalkeeping 
being  a  decided  factor  in  the  result.  Carling,  Hope  and  Smith  were 
also  very  useful. 

U.  C.  C.  played  a  plucky  game  against  weight,  but  they  were 
outclassed  in  the  first  half.    Burkhart  shone  for  U.  C.  C. 

The  teams: 

S.  A.  C. :  Goal,  Thompson ;  point,  Grass ;  cover  point,  Smith ; 
rover,  Hope;  centre,  Carling;  right  wing,  ^McAvity;  left  wing, 
Ramsey, 

U.  C,  C. :  Goal,  Woods;  point,  Young;  cover  point,  O 'Grady; 
rover,  Burkhart:  centre,  Adams;  right  wing,  Mulqueen:  left  wing, 
Davidson, 


S.A,C,  vs,   VARSITY  IIL 


The  last  league  game  of  the  season,  against  Varsity  III.  resulted 
in  another  defeat  for  College  by  6 — 3.  This  was  a  faster  game  than 
the  first,  and  also  considerably  rougher.  Varsity  required  to  win 
in  order  to  meet  T.  C.  S.  for  the  group  championship,  and  they 
proceeded  to  make  good  use  of  their  weight,  Coryell  and  IMcPherson 
being  most  inclined  to  rough  it.     S.  A.  C.  fought  hard  to  win,  as 


34  Sr.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

this  wax  their  last  chance  of  winniiifr  a  leagrue  match.  There  were 
several  chanfjes  on  the  teams,  for  S.  A.  C.  Thompson  replacing 
McKinnon  in  goal  and  Hope  taking  Kilgour's  place  at  rover.  For 
Varsity,  Douglass  replaced  Oldham  at  right  wing. 

Varsity  started  out  in  a  very  determined  manner,  but  it  took 
over  five  minutes  for  them  to  .score,  McPherson  doing  the  trick  on 
a  lone  rush.  For  the  next  15  minutes  there  was  a  fusilade  of  shots 
on  the  Saints'  goal,  and  Thompson  gave  a  fine  exhibition  of  goal- 
tending.  However,  he  couldn't  stop  the  impo.ssible  ones,  and  Var- 
sity's tally  crept  up  to  5,  with  the  Saints  still  at  nothing.  Then 
Varsity  tired,  and  the  College  seven  began  to  show  their  mettle. 
They  rained  shots  on  Varsity's  net,  but  ]\IcLaren  took  care  of  all 
which  did  not  go  wild.  S.  A.  C.  seemed  unable  to  score.  But  per- 
severance is  generally  rewarded,  and  with  5  minutes  left  Carling 
gladdened  the  hearts  of  the  College  supporters  by  scoring  S.  A.  C.  's 
first  goal.  This  ended  the  fun  for  the  half,  with  Varsity  4  goals 
in  the  lead. 

S.  A.  C.  appeared  greatly  refreshed  by  the  rest,  and  after  Mc- 
Laren had  stopped  several  hot  ones  Carling  scored  from  a  scrim- 
mage in  front  of  the  net.  This  was  quickly  followed  by  another 
score,  and  it  seemed  as  if  the  game  might  be  saved  yet.  Both  teams 
set  a  fast  pace,  and  for  ten  minutes  there  was  no  let-up.  Both  goal- 
keepers stopped  numerous  shots,  but  several  of  the  players'  use- 
fulness was  marred  by  their  rough  tactics.  Varsity  finally  scored 
on  a  hard,  close  shot.  Nothing  daunted,  S.  A.  C.  set  to  work  harder, 
but  were  unable  to  negotiate  Varsity's  net,  while  McDonald's 
rushes  down  the  boards  kept  the  College  defence  busy.  The  gong 
rang  with  S.  A.  C.  going  hard  against  a  forlorn  hope. 

For  Varsity  McDonald  and  Carter  were  the  best,  while  Carling 
and  ^fcAvity  scintillated  for  College.   There  was  a  marked  improve- 
ment in  the  shooting  of  the  teams,  and  also  more  combination  play 
was  indulged  in.    Varsity  had  a  stronger  team  and  deserved  to  win. 
The  line-up : 

Varsity  III.:  Goal,  McLaren;  point.  Carter;  cover  point,  Cor- 
yell ;  rover,  McPherson ;  centre,  Phippen ;  right  wing,  Douglas ;  left 
wing,  McDonald. 

S.  A.  C. :  Goal,  Thompson;  j)oint,  Grass;  cover  point.  Smith; 
rover,  Hope;  centre,  Carling;  right  wing,  McAvity;  left  wing, 
Oliver.  W.  B. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  35 

PERSONNEL  OF  FIRST  TEAM. 

HOMPSON     (WINN)— Goal— One  of  the  best  goalkeepers 

S.  A.  C.  has  had  for  a  good  man}-  years.    His  first  year  on 

^       the  team,  he  has  lots  of  nerve,  great  speed  in  clearing  and 

cool-headedness.     Saved  the  game  in  S.  A.  C.  vs.  U.  C.  C.  match, 

and  will  be  of  great  value  to  the  '09  team. 

Grass  (Grasshopper) — Point. — A  graduate  from  last  year's 
seconds ;  knows  how  to  use  his  body ;  plays  a  good  defensive  game, 
but  is  inclined  to  be  reckless  sometimes. 

Smith  ("Doug") — Cover  Point. — Captain  of  the  team  and  an 
old  color.  Smith  worked  hard  with  the  team  and  w^as  an  excellent 
example  to  his  men.  He  was  a  splendid  stick-handler  and  a  good 
defence  man;  in  fact,  he  was  the  best  all-around  man  on  the  team. 
He  kept  his  head  during  the  most  critical  parts  of  the  game. 

Hope  ("'Fat") — Rover. — Replaced  Kilgour  I.  as  rover,  and 
filled  the  position  well.  Uses  his  weight  well  and  checks  back  hard ; 
a  little  weak  in  shooting;  a  hard  man  to  stop. 

Cabling  ("Isaac") — Centre. — Another  graduate  from  the  sec- 
ond team.  He  is  a  fine  stick-handler ;  knows  how  to  play  his  posi- 
tion ;  a  fast  skater,  an  accurate  shot,  scoring  most  of  the  goals.  One 
of  the  best  on  the  team.    Will  be  a  valuable  man  for  next  year. 

McAviTY  ("Pete") — Right  Wing. — A  hard  worker,  fine  stick- 
handler  and  an  accurate  shot.  His  chief  fault  was  wandering  from 
his  position.    Played  a  good  game  throughout  the  season. 

Oliver  ("Shorty") — Left  Wing. — Plays  a  good  game,  a  hard 
worker,  a  little  weak  in  checking  back,  a  fast  skater,  he  was  at  a 
disadvanta-ge  in  having  to  play  left  wing  when  he  shoots  right- 
handed.     Also  a  valuable  man  for  next  year. 

Ramsey  ("A1")— Spare.— As  Oliver  was  laid  up  for  the  U.C.C. 
game,  Ramsey  played.  He  plays  a  hard  game,  but  is  inclined  to 
rough  it. 

The  colors  given  are  as  follows:  Smith,  captain;  1st,  Carling: 
2nd,  Thompson ;  3rd,  Hope ;  4th,  McAvity ;  5th,  Grass ;  6th,  Oliver. 

The  team  wishes  to  thank  Winstanley  for  his  good  work  as 
manager  of  the  team  throughout  the  season. 


36  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

CRICKET  PROSPECTS  FOR  1908. 


PROSPECTS  for  a  good  cricket  team  this  year  are  as  bright,  if 
not  brighter,  than  they  have  been  for  some  seasons. 
We  have  four  old  colors  back — Grant  I.,  who  has  played 
on  the  team  two  years;  Miller.  Smith  and  Hope,  of'la.st  year's  team. 
^Miller  fills  the  position  of  wicket-keepei-.  that  is  generally  so  hard 
to  fill,  the  others  all  being  fielders. 

Our  weak  spot  this  year  seems  to  be  lack  of  bowlers,  but  I  have 
no  doubt  some  of  the  second  team  men  will  turn  out  well. 

Of  new  material  there  is  an  abundance.  Crawford  I.  and 
Housser,  who  made  the  second  team  two  yeare  ago  and  were  not 
back  last  year,  are  with  us  this  season,  while  Wood  I.,  McAvity, 
McFarland,  Edmond.s,  Douglas,  Smith  and  McKiunon,  of  last  year's 
seconds,  are  also  available.  Besides,  there  are  a  number  of  new 
men  that  have  played  before. 

AVe  have  been  lucky  to  secure  the  services  of  ]\Ir.  Hatt  as  pro- 
fessional again  this  year,  and  tlici-c  are  also  a  number  of  masters 
who  will  come  out  and  heli>  us. 

The  Cricket  Connnittee  for  the  year  are:  ]\Ir.  James,  convener; 
Housser,  Bollaixl,  Smith*  I.,  Grant  I.,  Miller,  Grass  and  Hope. 

J.  C.  Hope. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  37 

''DUTCH'*  BOLLARD. 


HE  Review  publishes  with  areat  jileasure  the  above  snap-shot 
of  "Dutch"  Bollard,  whose  recent  victory  was  a  subject  of 
'I'  much  congratulation.  "])utch"  had  the  honor  of  coming 
second  in  the  Canadian  wrestliu<i  championship,  winning-  a  hand- 
some silver  medal  awarded  by  the  C.  .V.  A.  V. 

It  is  a  significant  fact  that  his  successful  opponent  was  light- 
weight chajiipion  of  last  year,  wlio  svu'ceeded  this  year  in  Avinnino- 


not  only  the  li^litweight.  but  tlic  wcltcfwiMght,  championship  as 
well. 

Bollard  is  the  youngest  schoolboy  who  has  ever  achieved  so  great 
an  honor,  a  fact  that  should  greatly  stimulate  the  interest  of  all 
S.  A.  C.  boys  in  this  splendid  form  of  exercise  and  amusement. 

Not  only  does  his  victory  reflect  great  honor  upon  the  College 
in  general  and  himself  in  particular,  but  a  large  share  of  the  glory 
is  due  to  ]\Ir.  Chapman,  whose  never-failing  interest  and  painstak- 
ing efforts  were  i)rimarily  responsible  for  his  pupil's  success.  The 
Review  tenders  the  most  hearty  congratulations  to  Mr.  Chapman 
and  to  Bollard  on  their  very  creditable  showing  in  a  contest  that 
was  really  national  in  character. 


38 


ST.     ANDREW'S    COLLEGE     REVIEW 


Miscellany. 


VISIT  OF  HON,   WILLIAM  JENNINGS  BRYAN, 


eAST  term  we  had  the  pleasure  of  listening  to  one  of  the 
leading  men  in  our  own  land.     This  term  it  has  been  our 
privilege  to  have  a  visit  from  the  Hon.  William  Jennings 
Bryan,  a  probable  Presidential  candidate  for  the  Democratic  party 
in  the  United  States. 


One  February  morning  Dr.  Macdonald  announced  to  the  school 
that  Mr.  Bryan  was  to  pay  us  a  visit,  and,  as  is  usual  when  any 
chance  of  missing  school  presents  itself,  the  boys  became  greatly  ex- 
cited, particularly  the  Americans  in  the  school.  The  others,  too, 
were  all  anxious  to  see  and  hear  the  great  man  who  has  been  figur- 
ing so  prominently  in  United  States  politics. 

About  eleven  o'clock  Mr.  Brj'an  came,  accompanied  by  Mr.  Mac- 
donald editor  of  the  Globe.  The  school  gave  their  visitor  three 
hearty  cheers,  and  he  then  spoke  to  the  boys. 

Mr.  Bryan  is  not  what  may  be  called  a  "powerful"  speaker, 


ST.    ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  39 

but  there  is  something  in  his  manner,  something  in  the  personality 
of  the  man  himself,  that  holds  the  attention  of  his  listeners.  The 
quiet  way  in  which  he  states  the  strongest  facts  helps  to  impress  it 
the  more  on  your  mind. 

His  subject  was  what  we  could  be  to  those  about  us.  Mr.  Bryan 
upholds  that  it  is  as  ea.sy  a  thing  to  be  nice  to  those  around  us  as 
to  be  repulsive.  And  as  we  are  only  to  live  in  this  world  a  short 
time,  why  not  make  ourselves  agreeable  while  we  are  here,  that  we 
may  be  missed  the  more  when  we  are  gone.  "Do  not  think,"  said 
Mr.  Bryan,  "that  when  you  leave  St.  Andr^ew's  you  are  through 
with  school.  You  are  only  just  beginning.  Life  is  one  great  school, 
and  we  are  never  through  till  death  itself  overtakes  us. ' ' 

When  he  had  finished  the  Canadian  National  Anthem  was  sung 
and  Mr.  Bryan  left  the  hall.  He  received  a  good  send-off  from  the 
school,  who  were  out  in  full  force  to  see  him  leave.  His  visit  was 
enjoyed  very  much  by  all  the  boys,  and  with  some  at  least  the 
words  of  advice  given  by  ]\Ir.  Bryan  will  long  remain. 

Fred  B.  Housseb. 


"  THE  HOBOES/* 


X  the  evening  of  February  21st  the  noble  hobo  band,  or  the 
instrumental  torturists,  took  the  platform.  They  were 
greeted  with  much  applause,  as  they  had  appeared  before 
and  had  already  made  a  hit.  The  opening  chorus  was  sung  after 
their  arrival  on  the  stage.  Then  the  leader  called  the  roll.  Those 
present  were : 

James  Ashbarrel — Shook. 

Zeb  Whistlebreeches — ^lacfarlane. 

Pierpout  ^Morgan — McAvity. 

Ned  Crowbar — Greene. 

Rastus  Whitefish — Carling. 

Wm.  Oystereye — Frost. 

Lizzie  Logan — Macnee. 

Fritz  Katzenjammer — Bollard. 

Pete  Cowear — Gooderham. 

Prof.  Beanpole — Davison. 

John  Rockefeller — Anderson  (leader). 

After  this  the  leader  spoke  on  his  noted  company,  which  was 


40 


ST.  ANDREW'S  COLLEGE  REVIEW 


formulated  by  his  noble,  def,'-eiierated  ;Lri'eat-irrand-nncle  three  years 
ago.  Throughout  his  s])eech  he  cracked  many  jokes,  made  up 
chiefly  of  bad  grammar,  in  regular  hobo  style.  He  said  they  were 
minus  theii"  leading  gent  or  door  mat.  but  he  suspected  him  any 
moment.  Then  this  character  entered  and  ran  up  the  aisle  to  the 
stage.  He  certainly  was  well  made  up,  being  a  typical  hobo.  Thr 
audience  were  in  fits  at  this  time.  Then  came  a  song  by  Shook. 
"Shovelin'  Coal."  McAvity  and  Frost  then  cracked  a  joke,  which 
took  immensely.  Next  Carling  and  Macfarlane  had  a  duel  with 
cap-pistols.     AVnttic  ^NLncncc.  wlio  was  dressed  up  as  a  blonde  lady. 


was  certainly  a  .success,  lie  had  everybody  guessing.  Ned  Davison 
rendered  the  ''Maple  Leaf  Rag,"  and  afterwards  gave  us  a  parody 
on  ''After  Blenheim,"  which  was  very  good  indeed.  "Dutch" 
Bollard  sang  "No!  No!  No!"  to  perfection.  Greene  also  starred, 
singing  "If  the  Man  in  the  Moon  Were  a  Coon."  The  orchestra, 
composed  of  an  autoharp,  four  mouth-organs,  the  piano,  the  drum, 
cymbals  and  triangle,  j-cndered  many  heart-tickling  pieces. 


Poor  little  pupj)y  {}{><:,  poor  little  piip. 

He  always  looks  down,  he  never  looks  up. 

Poor  little  pupi>y  dog.  so  sad  and  lonely. 

For  he  knows  pretty  soon  he'll  be  made  in  bologna. — Ex. 


ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW  41 

THE  CADET  CORPS. 


HE  Cadet  Corps  of  S.  A.  C.  is  expected  before  the  school  year 
of  1907-08  is  over  to  eclipse  the  same  organization  of  other 
"^  years.  It  is  both  larger  in  numbers  and  in  the  size  of  the 
individuals  this  year  than  ever  before,  and,  under  the  direction  of 
Sergt.  Campbell  and  Capt.  Taylor,  of  the  Body  Guards,  who  is 
master  in  command,  the  Corps  expects  to  fully  reach  its  expecta- 
tions. 

In  the  large  military  carnival,  which  takes  place  about  the  mid- 
dle of  May,  the  Corps  has  entered,  and  the  boys  are  now  working 
hard  to  show  up  to  the  best  advantage. 

Toward  the  end  of  May  the  Corps  expects  to  spend  three  or  four 
days  out  under  canvas,  to  which  each  member  is  looking  forward 
with  delight.  On  the  whole,  the  Cadet  Corps  has  every  reason  to 
congratulate  itself  on  this  year's  aspect. 

The  officers  are  as  follows: 

Captain — Wood. 

Lieutenants — Hope,  Grass. 

Sergeants — BowTiian,  Macdonald  I.,  Edmonds,  Eberts. 

Corporals — Winstanley,  Davison  I.,  Crowe,  Bollard. 

Crawford  I. 


THE  LITERARY  SOCIETY, 


•J^l"  FTER  a  fairly  successful  season,  the  Literarj-  Society  has 

V    I      again  almost  come  to  a  close.    Under  the  leadership  of  Mr. 

Black  things  have  gone  along  very  smoothly,  and  it  is  only 

hoped  that  the  society  will  always  be  fortunate  enough  to  secure 

for  its  head  as  good  a  president  as  filled  the  position  this  year. 

During  the  season  we  have  been  favored  with  an  entiriely  new 
style  of  entertainment  in  the  form  of  the  hobo  band,  a  minstrel 
show  in  one  act. 

Besides  this  were  the  usual  form  debates  between  the  two  fifth 
forms  and  the  sixth.  These  have  not  yet  been  completed,  as  it  still 
remains  for  Crawford  and  Macdonald  of  V.a.  to  debate  with  Hous- 
ser  and  Rogers  of  Fonn  VI.  for  the  honors. 

The  junior  and  senior  reading  contest  came  off  as  usual,  Pater- 


42  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

son  L  winning  the  junior  recitation  and  O'Brien  the  junior  reading. 
The  senior  reading  was  won  by  Ross. 

xVltogether  the  school  has  spent  some  very  enjoyable  evenings  at 
the  Literary  meetings  this  winter.  To  the  historians  and  all  those 
who  so  kindly  came  forward  to  make  each  meeting  a  suece.ss,  the 
officers  of  the  Literary  Society  extend  their  sincerest  thanks  and 
appreciation. 

The  officers  of  the  Society  for  this  year  are  the  following: 

Hon.  President — Dr.  Macdonald. 

President — ^Ir.  Black. 

1st  Vice-President — Housser. 

2nd  Vice-President — Crawford  L 

Secretar>^ — Winstanley. 

Historians — ^NIcAvity  and  Eberts. 

F.  B.  H. 


SOCIAL  NOTES. 

APTAIX  FIREFLY  WOOD,  one  of  the  young  Canadians 
sel•^'ing  the  King  in  the  Highland  Bi'igade,  is  back  again 
after  a  severe  attack  of  pneumonia,  scarlet  fever,  and 
grippe. 

Mr.  Whiteford  Bell  is  back  fn^ii  liome  after  recovering  from 
getting  his  feet  wet. 

Mr.  J.  A.  Crowe  gave  a  delightful  little  tea  for  a  number  of  his 
relations  who  are  visiting  from  the  South. 

Signor  Mordecai  will  not  receive  this  week  on  account  of  severe 
illness. 

Mr.  Neddy  Winstanley,  in  a  light  gray  suit,  carrying  sunflowers 
and  blushing  very  prettily,  entered  the  prefect's  alcove  on  Friday, 
]March  the  22nd.  A  supper  was  given  by  Mr.  ]\IacFarland  in  his 
honor,  at  which  Mr.  Winstanley  received  congratulations  from  his 
many  friends. 

One  of  our  esteemed  masters  has  been  giving  the  boys  a  series 
of  afternoon  receptions  in  his  room  after  school.  On  Monday  he 
wore  black  over  i>ink  aiul  cari-ied  cowslips  and  forget-me-nots.  He 
was  ably  assisted  by  s(»!ne  of  tlie  .season's  most  popular  buds,  Mr. 
Eddie  Winstanley,   Mr.    Vvxry   MeAvity  and   Mr.   Pickles  McCul- 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 


43 


lough.     The  fine  College  orchestra,  under  the  direction  of  Signor 
Abendana,  rendered  beautiful  music  throughout  the  afternoon. 

Mr.  Fred  Housser  entertained  recently  at  the  tea  hour  in 
honor  of  his  charming  friend,  Mr.  Montana  Winstanley,  one  of 
this  season's  debutantes.  Mr.  Housser  looked  charming  as  usual 
and  wore  a  pink  gown  covered  with  green  lace,  and  carried  sham- 
rocks, while  Mr.  Montana  Winstanley  looked  particularly  sweet 
and  fresh  in  purple,  and  carried  a  huge  bunch  of  sunflowers. 
Among  those  present  I  noticed  Mr.  Whiteford  Bell,  who  cut  his 
finger  last  month,  and  whose  numerous  friends  took  this  oppor- 
tunity of  congratulating  him  on  his  rapid  recovery;  ]\Ir.  MacFar- 
land,  the  charming  actor,  looked  very  chic  in  gray;  ^Mr.  Robert 
Grass,  the  noted  scholar,  was  also  there.  As  has  been  mentioned  in 
another  portion  of  this  journal,  Cupid  has  been  busy  again,  and  this 
time  the  happy  victims  are  Mr.  Montana  Winstanley  and  ^Iv.  Grass, 
whose  engagement  has  been  an  open  secret  for  quite  a  time.  The 
young  people  are  being  heartily  congratulated  by  their  large  circle 
of  friends.     The  wedding  will  take  place  some  time  in  May. 


44  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

THE  DRAMA, 


^^  AST  night,  before  a  large  and  appreciative  audience,  "College 
'TT  Life,"  a  comedy  in  three  acts,  was  presented  for  the  first 
time  by  the  St.  Andrew's  Stock  Company,  under  the  direc- 
tion of  Mr.  John  Hope,  formerly  leading  man  in  "Nellie  the  News- 
girl"  company,  and  ^Mr.  Cecil  MacFarland,  the  charming  actress 
who  has  been  playing  Shakespeare  in  the  States.  The  two  prin- 
cipals are  assisted  by  a  very  comj^etent  company,  while  the  orches- 
tra, under  the  leadership  of  Sigiior  Edward  Davison,  is  said  to  be 
one  of  the  best.  A  performance  will  be  given  every  night  this 
week  and  the  usual  matinee  Saturday.  Next  week  the  tragedy 
"Working"  will  be  given,  in  which  neither  of  the  principals  will 
appear. 

After  the  theatre  visit  the  St.  Andrew's  Tuck  Shop. 

Excellent  cuisine,  moderate  prices,  conveniently 

situated  to  the  jn'incipal  car  lines. 


EXCHANGES, 

QCTA  RIDLEIANA— The  Christmas  number  is  among  the 
l)est  of  our  exchanges.     There  is  something  about  Acta 
liidlciana  that  always  makes    it  fresh    and    invigorating, 
something  unconnnon  that  appeals  to  the.interests  of  everyone.  The 
reading  matter  is  as  enjoyable  as  ever,  and  the  stock  of  poems  is 
good.     AVe  look  forward  eagerly  to  tlu^  enlarging  of  this  j^aper. 

Till  Qucors  rnivprsifii  -hiurndJ  lias  had  an  excellent  series  of 
articles  by  Dr.  Knight — gotnl.  eonnium-sense  talks  on  the  eare  of 
the  eyes  and  ears;  a  very  readable  and  instructive  article  on  the 
work  of  the  blood,  and  one  on  the  relative  values  of  foods.  These 
heli)ful  talks  by  one  who  knows  cannot  but  be  of  inestimable  benefit 
to  TJu  Journal's  readers.  "A  stitch  in  time  saves  nine."  and  a 
little  knowledge  upon  such  imj)ortant  subjects  <  an  do  nnich  to  les- 
sen the  evils  that  eome  later  mi  owing  to  ignorance  and  neglect. 

St.  Hilda's  CJtrouicJi      Neat   it  is  in  appearance.     The  various 


ST.    ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  45 

events  at  St.  Hilda's  are  covered  by  interesting  articles,  a  good 
poem  beins:  thrown  in  here  and  there  between.  For  improvement 
we  should  suggest  that  some  photographs  and  illustrations  be 
adopted. 

The  Quill — from  Aleuin  Prep.  School,  X.Y.,  seems  slightly  dif- 
ferent from  most  school  papers.  Though  it  produces  a  rather 
bulky  outside  appearance,  it  may  be  read  from  cover  to  cover  in 
half  an  hour.     It  contains  some  good  short  stories. 

The  Argus — from  Vancouver  High  School — is  of  a  slim  and 
brilliant  appearance  that  compels  one  to  raise  the  cover.  While  in- 
teresting as  a  school  periodical,  its  extremely  small  and  close  typ'i, 
unbroken  by  a  single  illustration,  makes  it  not  only  an  eye-tirer,  but 
also  inclined  to  look  slightly  monotonous. 

The  Iris — Philadelphia  High  School — appearing  on  our  ex- 
change list  for  the  first  time,  is  highly  welcome.  It  seems  to  pick 
out  and  review  in  an  interesting  manner  the  popular  functions  of 
the  school.  The  original  sketches  add  to  it  greatly.  It  would  be 
improved  by  enlargement. 

Vox  Lycei — -AVe  are  pleased  to  have  the  first  number  of  the 
Ottawa  Collegiate  Institute  paper.  Its  general  appearance  and 
matter  is  excellent.    We  hope  to  continue  receiving  the  numbers. 

llie  Grove  Chronicle  is  a  most  creditable  little  monthly  from 
Lakefield  Preparatory  School.  Some  stories  and  illustrations  would, 
no  doubt,  greatly  improve  it. 

Vox  Colegii — from  Whitby  Ladies'  College,  is  a  pleasing  jour- 
nal for  a  monthly.  Probably  it  interests  the  Whitby  students  more 
than  the  casual  observer. 

llie  Calendar — continues  to  be  as  interesting  and  original  as 
ever.  Its  joke  column,  "Hash,"  is  one  of  the  best  in  our  exchange 
library. 

The  Magnet — deals  entirely  with  school  life  at  Jarvis  Collegiate. 
It  is  very  well  gotten  up,  but  is  too  obscure  to  cause  nuich  interest 
on  the  part  of  the  outsider. 


46 


Sr.     ANDRliW'S    COLLEGI-:     REVIEW 


The  College  Outlook— oi  Moose  Jaw  High  School,  is  rather 
small  but  bright  and  attractive. 

College  Echoes— irom  the  Anglo-Chinese  College  at  Tientsin, 
continues  to  be  as  fascinating  as  ever. 

"We  are  pleased  to  receive  the  recent  numbers  of  Lux  Colum- 
hiana,  The  Ashhurian,  McMnfttrr  Monthly,  Acta  Victoriana,  The 
Varsity  and  The  Booster. 

The  Shucis  is  an  excellent  little  publication,  very  neat  in  ap- 
pearance, and  full  of  interesting  reading.  Its  jokes  are  particu- 
lar! v  good. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  47 


Skits. 


CHRYSTALLIZED  EMOTIONS, 

GONY — Room  23  Trio,  with  Bowman  I.  accompanying  on  the 
fiddle. 


(3 


Joy — Winstanley's  face. 

Anger — "Fat"  Eberts  being  wakened  in  the  morning. 

Hatred — Edmonds  having  his  hair  mussed  or  Winstanley  after 
the  cat  at  2.40  a.m. 

Pleasure— Bell  with  a  dozen  baked  potatoes,  1  bottle  apple  juice 
and  some  cream  puffs  in  front  of  him. 

Disgust — Eberts  seeing  anyone  run  for  a  car. 

Joke — Macnee  as  an  athlete. 

Delight — Mr.  'R when  Crawford,  Housser  and  Wood  I.  have 

their  Latin  done. 

Pain — McAvity's  face  after  missing  the  Branksome  Church  line. 

Miracle — A  Crowe  without  wings  or  Eberts  on  time  for  any- 
thing. 

Love — Masters  for  Mordecai. 

Haste — Shook  after  hitting  Waterous. 

Beauty — Winsrtanley  asleep  or  ]SIacnee  at  five  miles  distant. 

Cleverness — Macnee,   Moore   or  Pickles  making  a   two-minute 
speech. 


48  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

Regret — Seats  for  the  theatre  and  gated  with  poetry. 

Grandeur — Davison  I.  in  his  new  spring  coat  or  Cap.  Wood  at 
the  dance. 

Cyclone — Eberts  stepping  on  a  tack  in  liis  bare  feet. 

Acton  (to  master  in  laboratory)  :  "Sir,  will  tliat  stuff  dye  hair?" 
Master:  "Why,  do  you  want  to  try  it?" 

^Master  (to  Andei*son)  :  "Wliat  did  you  like  best  at  Mr.  Peary's 
lecture?" 

Anderson:  "The  pictures  of  the  Esquinio  women,  sir." 
Master:  "I  wonder  if  they  would  appreciate  yours  as  much?" 

Anderson  (at  table)  :  "Now  in  Ottawa — "     Chorus  of  groans. 

Harcourt  (to  master)  :  "Sir,  I  wouldn't  do  it  that  way." 
Master:  "Oh,  I  suppose  I  must  be  wrong  then!     I  have  only 
been  doing  this  for  ten  yeai*s. ' ' 

Edmonds:  "I  had  Bowiiian  1.  in  my  room  to-day  and  gave  him 
a  deuce  of  a  lecture  about  having  more  respect  for  a  prefect." 
Admiring  Listener:  "I  bet  he'll  remember  it,  too." 

^Master  to  Bell  I. :  "What  has  been  the  matter  with  you  1  Scarlet 
fever?" 

Boll:  "No,  sir;  I  got  my  feet  wet  the  other  day  and  thought  I 
had  better  slfiy  "home  for  a  week  to  make  sure  not  to  catch  cold." 

Macnee  made  a  new  record  for  the  hundred — 8  1-5  sec.  Whitney 
got  sore  at  him. 

McDonald  III.  to  Macncc:  "(ice I  you  should  have  seen  me  slug 
IMcAvity  on  the  rink  to-day." 

Macnee:  "I  soaked  him  a  few.  too." 
Both:  "Sh— ,  here  comes  :\rcAvity." 

Chemistry — is  the  study  of  how  to  burn  your  hands  without 
a  fire. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  49 

Physics — is  the  study  of  how  to  make  a  feather  drop  as  fast  as 
a  piece  of  lead. 

Grammar— is  the  study  of  how  to  analyze  a  sentence  so  that  you 
can't  understand  it.  Or  to  call  a  word  a  whole  bunch  of  names 
when  it  can't  talk  back. 

Algebra — is  the  study  of  how  to  get  an  answer  to  a  question  that 
only  a  very  clever  man  can  dispute. 

History — is  the  study  of  one  man  getting  a  larger  army  than 
his  rival  and  defeating  him  in  battle,  after  which  he  takes  posses- 
sion as  king. 

Geogi'aphy — is  the  study  of  Brant  County. 

French — is  the  language  of  France,  taught  by  an  Irishman. 

Latin — is  the  language  of  a  bunch  of  farmers,  who  derived  it  all 
from  roots. 

Composition — is  the  study  of  how  to  make  nothing  cover  two 
pages. 

Geometry — is  too  difficult  to  explain. 

Master  (to  bell  boy)  :  "Let  me  out  the  front  door!" 
Bell  Boy :  ' '  Have  you  written  leave  ? ' ' 
What  the  master  said  will  not  be  repeated. 

Master  to  Andei^on :  ' '  Take  two  houi*s  for  making  a  face  at  me. ' ' 
Anderson:  "Sir,  I  didn't  make  a  face." 
Master:  "Don't  oontradict  me.    I  heard  you," 

No  one  would  think  McAvity  was  susceptible  to  a  woman's 
charms.    But,  alas,  our  Percy  has  got  it,  too. 

The  many  friends  of  Ike  Ross  will  be  pleased  to  hear  that  Lou- 
don, Ontario,  won  the  ping-pong  and  marble  championships  of 
Canada. 


50  ST.     ANDREWS     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

Winstanley  (mother's  little  picture  of  joy)  blushed  very  pret- 
tily as  he  entered  the  prefect's  seat  on  Friday,  i\Iarch  20th. 

Watty  Macnee's  speech  on  the  ''College  Cut-Up"  was  very  in- 
teresting. He  remarked  that  "He  was  sorry  so  many  fellows  were 
jealous  of  him  and  his  powers  as  a  heart-breaker." 

Mordecai's  latest  illness  was  a  mixture  of  scarlet  fever,  pneu- 
monia and  diphtheria,  but  his  wonderful  constitution  withstood  it 
so  well  that  he  had  no  temperature  throughout  the  whole  time. 

The  new  rule,  to  clear  the  flat  in  the  afternoon,  is  not  so  much 
for  the  boys,  but  it  enables  the  master  on  duty  to  have  a  little  exer- 
cise, by  pulling  them  out  from  under  beds,  etc. 

Missou  (in  his  wandering  dreams)  :  "If  you  love  me,  darling, 
chew  my  ear ! "     • 

Later:   "Ain't  she  the  catsup  !" 

Eberts  (scenting  a  peach)  :  ' ' Gizook ! " 
The  Peach:    "Skidook!" 

Poet  Laureate  Davison  II. :  "I 'm  looking  for  the  man  who 
wrote  the  'Merry  Widow'  dance.  And  when  I  find  him,  I  am  sure 
that  I  shall  kick  his  pants." 

Room:     "Gazook!" 

Sutherland  to  Sheriff:  "Come  on  down  town,  and  get  some 
holly  for  St.  Patrick's  Day!" 

Fink  (looking  at  the  moon)  :  "I  wonder  if  the  same  moon  shines 
in  Winnipeg!" 

Reasons  given  for  the  morning  walk : 

Missou:  "I  go  for  the  walk;  the  girls  have  nothing  to  do 
with  it." 

Grass:  "I  like  to  see  the  girls  but  the  walk  is  reallv  all  I  sro 
for." 

Housser:    "I  don't  give  a  hoot  for  the  walk;  me  for  the  girls!" 

Chorus  from  Room  20:    "Hear!  Hear!" 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  .    51 

Epitaphs  seen  in  a  country  churchyard: 
"Wasn't  I  a  fool 
To  take  Murphy's  mule!" 

"Here  lies  Henry;  he  was  my  best. 

He  slid  down  a  plank,  and  a  nail  did  the  i-est." 

"Here  I  lie  sleeping  all  forlorn; 
I  never  had  such  a  good  sleep 
Since  the  day  I  was  born." 

Hastings  II.  (with  a  happy  smile)  :  "Please,  Sir,  may  I  clean 
the  blackboard?" 

Miller  (who  has  fallen  asleep  in  history  class)  :  "Oh,  Eliza,  I 
get  the  extra  to-day!" 

Master  (in  Latin  period)  :  "Give  me  the  masculine  plural  of 
the  feminine." 

Boy:     "Alright,  Sir!"  • 

West:    "Did  Mr.  H.  give  you  the  slipper?" 
Dyment :  "  No ;  he  didn  't  come  down  to  my  end. ' ' 
West:     "He  came  down  on  my  end  alright." 

Master :   ' '  What  is  a  sand-bar  ? ' ' 

Prep.  Infant:    "Why,  a  bar  of  sand,  Sir!" 

Prep.  Infant  (boastfully)  :    "Sir,  our  canary  was  hatched  from 
the  egg  by  my  aunt!" 
Poor  Auntie ! 

Mr.  H. :    "What  do  they  call  little  chickens?" 
"Chiclets,  Sir!" 

Mr.  H. :  "Now,  let  me  have  your  eyes  on  the  blackboard, 
Nelson!" 

Nelson  :   ' '  They  won 't  come  out.  Sir ! ' ' 

^Master  (to  Campbell  III.  in  reading  lesson )  :  "Wrong  sentence. 
Go  on— 23!" 

Chorus:     "For  you!" 


52  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

A  certain  Lower  School  master  is  quite  an  expert  at  diabolo. 

In  arithmetic  class  (master  to  boy)  :     "Now,  have  you  got  the 
barn  in  your  head  ? ' ' 

Carmichael:    "Sir,  when  is  the  salted  arms?" 

Harcourt :    "0,  that  hat !    It  caused  me  many  weeks '  work ! ' ' 

*  *  Sixteen 's  me  minimum  ! " 

Bowman    II.     (on    the    march)  :      "Don't   splash    mud    on    my 
spats ! ' ' 

Harcourt:    "Only  six  quarters  taken  off  for  that  march'" 

Boarder:     "Where  did  Tokas  get  the  shirt?" 

Mr.  M. :    "Who  made  that  noise?" 
Burns:     "I  don't  do  such  things." 
Norris :     "I  never  saw  it. ' ' 
Acton:    "Not  in  the  least,  Sir." 

Master:     "Where  is  Hope?" 

General  Chorus:    "Gone  to  buy  some  fresh  buns." 

I\Ir.  T. :    ' '  Order,  Boys !  Order ! ' ' 

Bell  II.:     "Ha-a-am  a-a-a-an-d  ai-ai-gs!" 

Mr.  McK. :     "Acton,  you  have  brains,  haven't  you?" 
Acton  :    "I  don 't  know.  Sir. ' ' 

Fleming  (to  fellows  who  are  .standing  around):     "I  have  $10 
here,  ])ut  fifteen  cents  is  all  I  can  spend." 


One  of  the  boys    (humming  to   himself  as  he  leaves  the  sick 
room)  : 

"Why  go  to  the  doctor  for  a  little  cough  or  sneeze. 

If.  when  he  sends  around  tlu>  bill,  it  gives  us  heart  disease?" 


i 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  "  53 

Evans :     ' '  Sah,  newspapers  sold  well  durin '  the  wah,  Sah  ! ' ' 

Crawford  I.  (in  his  sleep)  :    "Does  this  train  go  to  Winnipeg?" 
Ode  to  a  second-flat  boy: 

Ainsley  had  the  stomach  ache, 

Went  to  see  the  nurse; 
Got  a  dose  of  calomel — 

Only  made  it  worse. 
Couldn't  work  at  all  in  school; 

Couldn't  write  a  line. 
Saturdaj^  morning  came  along — 

Ainsley 's  feeling  fine. 

Melchior  (to  Herk.)  :   "Got  some  news  for  you,  Herky. " 
Herky :   ' '  What  is  it,  Venie,  old  girl  ? ' ' 
Melchior:   "I  broke  your  watch." 
Freddie  explodes ! 

Bowman  I.,  the  lucky  boy,  who  takes  violin  lessons. 
Our  masters  are  making  some  very  good    scores    at  the  Ar- 
mouries.   Lately  one  made  six. 

Hastings  made  six  at  the  Armouries.     He  must  have  used  a 
shotgun  when  he  killed  that  moose ! 

Boy  (to  room-mate)  :    "It's  no  use  our  both  being  gated.   Let's 
toss  and  see  who'll  say  it  was  his  fault." 

Mr.  Magee    (to  Firstbrook)  :    "Look    serious,    and    stop    that 
idiotic  grinning!" 

Mr.    Taylor    (to    dog):    "Come  and  sit  with  me,  my  canine 
friend!" 

"I  can't  explain  it,  because  I  never  heard  it  explained." 

Mr.  M.  (in  science)  :    "If  this  chart  falls  on  me,  you  will  know 
that  I  died  a  martyr  to  science." 

We  all  turned  green  when  we  saw  a  certain  master  on  March 
17th. 


54  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

Promising  young  elocutionist :  "  Ah  1  At  last  I  have  reached 
the  psychological  moment  of  my  life.  I  am  about  to  give  birth  to 
a  thought!" 

Ebie  Sutherland  (to  McFarland)  :  "When  I'm  a  prefect,  I 
shall  ignore  you. ' ' 

Thomson  III.  (to  "Sliver"  Green):  "Come  over  here.  I 
want  to  pick  my  teeth." 

"A  man  lay  down  by  the  sewer; 

And  down  by  the  sewer  he  died. 
The  coroner  held  an  inquest, 

And  called  it  'sewer-side.'  " 

Canas:    "Did  you  see  a  Chinaman  woman?" 

MacNee  wishes  to  state  that  he  has  just  received  a  new  ship- 
ment of  samples.    Anyone  wishing  to  look  over  his  stock  may  do  so. 

Roll-call,  Room  25:  Professor  Anderson,  Hobo,  Fluffy 
Ruffles,  Jack  Frost  (or  Stable  Boy). 

Master:     "Allan,  what  is  an  egotist?" 
Allan:    "A  man  who  juggles  eggs!" 

Shook:  "Say,  fellows,  what  do  you  say  if  I  put  my  face  in 
as  a  skit?" 

Heard  in  the  Literary  Society : 

First  Junior  Boy:  "Say,  is  the  fourteen-year-old  wonder  going 
to  play  to-night?" 

When  Ch()i)py  (iraiit  heard  that  the  fencing  class  was  going 
to  have  its  picture  takoii,  ho  thought  ho  would  join. 

McAvity     (reading    composition)  :    "She    started    homo,    aiul 
vhen  she  got  there — " 

Voice  from  back  of  i-ooni :    "The  cupboard  was  bare." 

The  fight  of  the  season :  Pickles  vs.  Nicholson. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  55 

Carmichael :     "My  father  is  the  only  man  in  Kenora,  besides 
the  undertaker,  that  wears  a  high  hat!" 

]\Ir.  F.  (to  Haas  I.)  :    "What  do  you  think  of  this  composition, 
Haas?" 

Haas  I.:    "I'd  rather  not  say,  Sir." 

Mr.  F.:   "Why?" 

Haas  I. :  "  Ju.dge  not  that  ye  be  not  judged. ' ' 

"Who  owns  that  cat,  anyway?" 

Mr.  F. :     "Your  composition  is  like  a  young  man  neatly  dressed, 
but  his  whole  appearance  is  spoilt  by — " 
Hertzberg  (butting  in)  :  "Red  socks. "^ 

Hertzburg  (after  grammar  lesson)  :    "I  feel  like  a  pronominal 
adjective. ' ' 

Burke  (to  Master)  :    "Sir,  what  tense  is  'will'  in  the  sentence 
'Will  went  to  town'?" 


CRIBBED  FROM  THE  EXCHANGES, 

Questions  of  To-day. 

Did  you  ever  see  a  peanut  stand  on  the  corner  and  whistle  ? 

Did  you  ever  see  a  bed  spring  ? 

Did  you  ever  see  a  banana  skin  round  the  corner? 

Did  you  ever  see  a  cow  hide  in  a  butcher  shop  ? 

Did  you  ever  see  a  cow  slip  ? 


Undee-the-Table  Manners. 
It's  very  hard  to  be  polite 

If  you're  a  cat. 
When  other  folks  are  up  at  table, 
Eating  all  that  they  are  able. 

You  are  down  upon  the  mat — 

If  you're  a  cat. 


56  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

You're  expected  just  to  sit, 

If  you're  a  cat. 
Not  to  let  them  know  you're  there 
By  scratching  at  the  chair, 

Or  a  light  i-espectful  pat — 

If  you're  a  cat. 

You  are  not  to  make  a  fuss. 

If  you're  a  cat. 
Though  there's  fish  upon  the  plate, 
You're  expected  just  to  wait: 

Wait  politely  on  the  mat — 

If  you're  a  cat. 

— Teacher's  Magazine. 


Stkange,  Isn't  It. 
That  a  cavalryman  unhorsed  is  most  easily  cowed? 
That  one  can  show  his  temper  only  after  he  has  lost  it. 
That  no  young  man  ever  rose  rapidly  till  he  had  settled  down. 
That  the  plough  must  be  soiled  before  the  soil  can  be  ploughed. 
That  being  a  big  ass  at  night  will  often  make  you  a  little  hoarse 
the  next  morning? — The  Hija  Ynla.  ' 


Mary  had  a  piece  of  gum, 

It  was  as  white  as  snow ; 
And  everywhere  that  INIary  went 

That  gum  was  sure  to  go. 
It  followed  her  to  school  one  day, 

Which  was  against  the  rule; 
The  teacher  took  the  gum  away 

And  chewed  it  after  school. 


The  following  is  published  as  the  Freshmen's  yell  at  Acadia 
"Goslings,  ducklings,  chickens,  we, 
Rounded  up  we're  sixty -three; 
Wish  I'd  stayed  at  home  with  ma, 
Nineteen-eleven,  Bah.  liah.  Bah!" 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 


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ST.  ANDREW'S 

SWEATER 
JERSEYS 
CRESTS 
CAPS,  Etc. 

Call  and  see  the  new 
ST.  ANDREW'S  SEAL 
PENNANTS  with  the 
official  college  seal.  Its 
the  newest  and  most  po- 
pular college  fl-ig  in  use. 
Used  by  all  American 
colleges.       50c  to  §1.50 


Harry  H.  Love  6?  Co. 


189   YONGE    ST. 

TORONTO 


58  ST.    ANDREW'S    COLLEGE    REVIEW 

There  was  a  younj^'  fellow  named  Sam, 
Who  let  the  door  go  with  a  slam. 
His  mother  said  "My, 
What  a  noisy  young  guy," 
While  his  father  just  scowled  and  said — 

There  onee  was  a  dashing  young  colonel. 
Who  suffered  from  troubles  intolonel ; 

If  you  asked  him  a  question 

About  his  digestion. 
He'd  reply  in  a  manner  infolonel. 
— Columbia  Jester. 


Evolution. 
I  ate  nie  a  Welsh  rabbit. 

In  the  night  last  past ; 
I  ate  me  a  Welsh  rabbit, 

Whereby  to  stay  my  fast. 
Simply  a  Welsh  rabbit, 

A  harmless,  armless  thing, 
With  not  a  leg  to  stand  on, 

Nor  voice  to  speak  or  sing. 

I  ate  me  a  Welsh  rabbit. 

Then  hied  myself  away 
To  bed,  and  dreams  and  wishing 

'Twere  longer  yet  till  day. 
Simply  a  Welsh  rabbit, 

A  wileless,  guileless  ])ea.st 
l^hat  hath  no  other  mission. 

Than  serving  for  a  feast. 

1  ate  me  a  Welsh  rabbit, 

Oadzooks,  I  thought  it  so; 
But  after  I  had  gone  to  sleep, 

How  quickly  did  it  grow 
Into  the  strangest  creatures, 

Into  the  mares  of  night, 
Into  the  gibberish  monkeys, 

Into  shapes  that  fight, 


ST.  ANDREW'S  COLLEGE  REVIEW 


59 


You  never  know  how  much  real  comfort 
there  is  in  Clothes  until  you  have 
*-  worn  one  of 


Write  for  ^^""^ 

samp  es  and  from  Coast  to  Coast 

Measurement  Chart 

DEPT  D" 

R^I^Bl^ODEI^ICI^&Co. 

TOI^ONTO,  CANADA. 


60  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

Into  ring-tailed  roosters. 

Into  the  jabberwocks, 
Into  the  jaii.ii!inj4-  jaguars, 

Into  the  six-horned  ox, 
Into  the  hoi-sc  with  slippers, 

Into  the  liog  with  wings, 
Into  the  cat  with  feathers, 

Into  the  cow  that  sings, 
Into  all  manners  of  creatures. 

Of  the  earth  and  the  air  and  the  sea. 
And  all  of  them  promenading 

Or  sitting  around  on  me. 

I  ate  me  a  Welsh  rabbit, 

In  the  night  last  past; 
I  ate  me  a  AVelsh  rabbit. 

Whereby  to  stay  my  fast. 
Simply  a  Welsh  rabbit. 

How  could  there  possibly  be 
In  a  little  thing  like  that, 

A  whole  menagerie? 

— William  J.  Lampton. 


Glkaxixos  from  George  Eltot. 

And  one  should  give  a  gleam  of  happiness  whenever  it  is 
po.ssible. 

One  likes  to  feel  old  ties  strengthened  by  fresh  sympathies. 

Every  hand  is  wanted  in  this  world  that  can  do  a  little  genuine, 
sincere  work. 

ITow  music,  tliat  stirs  one's  devout  emotions,  blends  everything 
into  harmony — makes  one  feel  part  of  our  whole  which  one  loves 
all  alike,  losing  the  sense  of  a  separate  self  I 

The  most  solid  comfort  one  can  fall  back  upon  is  the  thought 
that  the  business  of  one's  life — the  woi-k  at  home  after  the  holiday 
is  done — is  to  help  in  some  small  nibbling  way  to  reduce  the  sum 
of  ignorance,  d(\<rradation  and  misery  on  the  face  of  this  beautiful 
earth. 

it  is  always  good  to  know,  if  only  in  passing,  a  charming  human 
being;  it  i-efi*eslies  one  like  flowers  and  woods  an<l  clear  brooks. 


JL.. 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 


61 


(r  cgistereo) 


NEW  SPRING  GOODS 


-FOR- 


NATTY  DRESSERS 


Exclusive  Sty^les  in 

HATS.    CAPS   AND    FURNISHINGS 


Hats,  Caps  and  College  Colors 
Neckwear  in  Latest  Shades  and  Patterns 
Gloves  that  fit,  look  and  wear  well 
Shirts  to  Order 


New    Light    Underwear   and  Socks     CPpmSi^ 

We  have   everything   towards  the  out-      ^^-^^Vl    ilMriS^ 
fit    of    the    dressy    College    boy,    and   invite 
inspection     and     comparison      without     any 
obligation  to    buy. 


J.  W.  T.  Fairweather  Cf  Co. 

84-86  YONGE  STREET.  TORONTO 


62  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

I  have  always  this  soil;  of  feeling  when  I  look  at  the  sunset- 
that  there  in  the  west  lies  a  land  of  light  and  warmth  and  love.- 
Christian  Guardian. 


Pboofs  of  the  Ancient  Order  of  Baseball. 
In  Genesis,  we  hear  much  of  the  beginning. 
Eve  stole  first,  Adam  second. 
Cain  made  a  base  hit. 
Abraham  made  a  sacrifice. 
Noah  put  the  dove  out  on  a  fly. 
The  prodigal  son  made  a  home  run. 
David  struck  out  Goliath. 

"We  hear  much  of  foul  flies  in  Pharaoh's  time. 
We  know  that  Rebecca  was  in  company  with  a  pitcher. 
Judas  was  a  base  man. 
Jehu's  team  was  highly  praised. 
"We  hear  of  the  Egyptians'  shortstop  near  the  Red  Sea. — Ex 


A  Result  of  Over-Study  in  English. 
The  boy  stood  on  the  burning  deck 

And  a  scornful  laugh  laughed  he; 
Then  took  a  lantern  in  his  hand 

Across  the  sands  o'  Dee. 

Colder  and  colder  blew  the  wind, 
When  clouds  are  highest  up  in  air; 

Then  spread  the  white  and  rustling  sail. 
The  rich  repast  prepare. 

Alas,  they  had  been  friends  in  youth, 

In  lands  beyond  the  sea; 
She  dwelt  unknown,  and  who  could  know 

The  still  sad  music  of  humanity? 

For  men  may  come  and  men  may  go, 
The  cold  sweat  melted  from  their  limbs ; 

She  warned  him  of  the  toils  below — 
I  hear  a  noise  of  hvmus ! 


ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW  63 


W.  A.  iiurrag  $c  (E0., 

TORONTO  ^imxtth 

IMPORTERS  AND  RETAILERS  OF 


HIGH-CLASS  DRY  GOODS 

As  well  as  a  fine  selection  of  Boys'  and  Men's 
Furnishings,  including  all  college  requisites      ^ 


Also  Bags  and  Suit  Cases  of  all  descriptions  ;  we 
purchase  them  direct  from  the  manufacturer,  so  can 
guarantee  the  quality  to  be  the  very  best,  and  our 
prices  are  reasonable. 


IMMEDIATE    PAYMENT 

Promptness  in  meeting  claims  has  been  for  many  years  a  point  to  which 
the  Confederation  Life  Association  has  given  special  attention. 

It  is  the  invariable  rule  to  pay  all  claims 

IMMEDIATELY 

on  approval  of  proofs  of  death,  thus  placing  ready  money  in  the  hands  of  the 
beneficiary  at  the  time  when  it  is  often  most  needed. 
Since  organization  the  Company  has  paid  over 

$10,000,000.00 

to  policyholders,  and  for  every  $ioo  received  the  Company  has  paid,  or  holds 
for  the  benefit  of  policyholders, 

$103.94 


CONFEDERATION    LIFE 

ASSOCIATION 

W.   H.   BEATTY.  W.  D.  MATTHEWS, i       Vice- 
President.  PREDK.  WYLD,         /Presidents. 
W.  C.   MACDONALD,  J.  K.  MACDONaLD. 

Secretary  and  Actuary.  Managing  Director. 

HEA.D     OFFICE,        -        -        -        -        TORONTO,    CANADA 


64  ST.     ANDREW'S     COLLEGE     REVIEW 

For  rill  sittiiifr  by  the  stile.  Mary, 

In  letters  all  of  gold ; 
'Tis  the  middle  of  night  by  the  castle  clock. 
The  parson  was  sitting  upon  a  rock, 

And  the  sun  did  shine  so  cold. 

— McMaster  University  Monthly. 


"Push,"  said  the  Button. 
"Never  be  led,"  said  the  Pencil. 
"Take  pains,"  said  the  Window. 
"Always  keep  cool,"  said  the  Ice. 
"Be  up-to-date,"  said  the  Calendar. 
"Make  light  of  everything,"  said  the  Lamp. 
"Do  a  driving  business,"  said  the  Hammer. 
"Be  sharp  in  all  your  dealings,"  said  the  Knife. 
"Find  a  good  thing  and  stick  to  it,"  said  the  Glue. 
"Do  the   work  you're   suited   for,"   said  the   Chimney. — Hya 
Yaka. 


"What  was  the  sermon  about,  dear?"  asked  the  mothei",  as 
Baby  Dorothy  came  home. 

"It  was — I  think — it  was  something  about  'Don't  be  afraid 
and  I'll  bring  you  a  bed  quilt.'  " 

"Why,  Dorothy,  thin^    what  you're  saying!" 

"  Ob,  no,  maana.  It  was  '  Fear  not,  and  I'll  bring  you  a  Com- 
forter.' " — Penn.  Punch  Boivl. 


Miss  DeRemer:  "Yes,  while  we  were  in  Egypt  we  visited  the 
pyramids.   They  were  literally  covered  Avith  hieroglyphics." 

Bewildered  Listener:  "Ugh  !  Weren't  you  afraid  some  of  them 
would  get  on  you  ? ' ' — Shucis.