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EDITORIALS 



Consumer Takeover 



In this age of excess and con- 
sumerism, traditions have evolved into 
a commodity. The pagan spirit of 
Hallowe'en has been lost amidst the 
shuffle of inane worship to the candy 
god - "CANDY, candy, we want more" 
scream pastily-drcssed children as they 
scamper through the leaf-strewn streets. 
And what of Christmas? Companies 
nowadays arc cashing in on our gulli- 
ble minds salivating for more products. 

Christmas and Hallowe'en are 
mere examples of traditions gone awry. 
Not that I'm a devout believer of either 
faith but I do cherish their simple be- 
ginnings. 

After the hustle and bustle of 
such chaotic holidays have dissipated, 
there are no lingering renmants of 



sweet, warm memories, but disgruntled 
customers who complain about what 
they did and didn't gel. no second 
thought to perhaps the meaning embed- 
ded within Gift X. We don't care who 
got us what and why, but how much wc 
received and where it'll fit in our golden 
lives of plasticity. 

Perhaps 1 am hoping for the im- 
possible, but hey, I'm an idealist simply 
crying for the loss of imagination - 
Where has it gone? People no longer 
rely on themselves for entertainment but 
on propaganda advertising glossy prod- 
ucts to show them the way. All I ask of 
you is don't sell yourself short — there 
is some vestige of creativity and imagi- 
nation left in you yet - you just haven't 
looked for it. 



Vivre I'Herald Libre! 



Free speech. Civil rights. Free- 
dom of the press. Freedom of expres- 
sion. Terms to live by, to believe in and 
to cherish. As students we preserve 
these ideals as our rights of passage. 
Freedom of thought enables us to con- 
stantly re-examine the world, its prob- 
lems and its systems. Without freedom 
our revolutionary ideas would stagnate 
and compress, unable to spread or lake 
root. 

Freedom... a synonym foryouth. 
But even here, at Innis College, free- 
dom meets opposition. Not from the 
establishment, not from the Young Re- 
formers, not even from senilic profes- 
sors who believe free thought means 
memorizing the bar code of their text- 
books. Bui ourselves. Students. Young 
minds. 

The Herald has received com- 
plaints from certain quarters about the 
"quality" and "style" of some articles 
published in the paper. To these "jour- 
nalistic overseers" the articles in ques- 
tion are "childish", "unsophisticated", 
"pointless" or just plain "shit". A fa- 
vourite saying comes to mind: "One 



man's meat is another man's poison." 
{Sorry about the gender specific lan- 
guage; "person" didn't seem to fit.) 

Apart from being eliiish, ego- 
centric and malicious, their point of 
view is also undemocratic. The Herald 
is not a magazine written for a specific 
target group, (namely its subscribers). 
The only people the Herald writes for 
are students - Innisites in particular — 
and students are by nature a culturally- 
and intellectually-diverse group. 

We cannot afford, nor do we 
want, to exclude the work of students 
because somebody taking up space in 
the Innis office or slouching around the 
Pit thinks it more suitable for toilet pa- 
per. The Herald is not just written FOR 
students, it is written BY students. And 
it is also PAID for by all Innis students 
(approximately 8.8% of your I.C.S.S. 
fee goes towards the Herald). All rea- 
sons why the Herald should be 
respresenlalive of the entire college, not 
just some David Frum wannabe. 

Tut, tut. I thought Innis brought 
you up better than that. 



N.B. If ihcn; arc some spols. biiimc (he wanei. 
And S iim grcmliiu in Ihc muchinc. Muybe Rurals and 
Urbans, wiih lula lipwn wanting lo have some fun. 
NOT! Exlra ihank.s lo [he noami.siei. lo which none of 
this could have been possible. Thanx. from Ihc 
pandaman. 




The Executive 

sally blake. editor 
diane sidik. editor 
Stan chan, assistant editor/ 
treasurer 

Junior Editors 

crinn freypons...news 
scott culley... commentary 
erin sims... random thoughts 
noami freen\an...music 
jitlia burton. ..music 
linda galvin...film 
rachel m. murray... art/fiction 

rob judges. ..graphics 
Caroline meyer...photography 
deborah mallory... layout 
charles yung... distribution 

The Staff 

damien boyes daniel curric-hall 

cass enright funky hot papa 
hubert & borphan sam lanaway 

minesh simon 
erin-beth southwood alan wong 
paulina wyrzkowska antonia yee 

The Layout Crew 

michael dielissen 
george stone 
alan wong 

Herald Logo 



Cover Design 

alan wong 

Contributors 

bagomundo rob barber 
farley bissoondath shown boughey 
ravin' c william o'higgins 
mordechai ondaatje brian montenegro 

Innis Herald Information 

Location: 

Innis College 
2 Sussex Avenue 
Room 305 (Old Building) 
(416) 978-4748 

Office Hours: 

Mondays 10. 12-6 pm. Tuesday 12 ■ 7pm 
Wednesday 7-6. Thursdays 12 • 3 pm 
Friday 10, 12- 4pm 

Deadline for January Issue: 

Friday. December 9. 1994. 

The Inni.'i Herald is a monthly, sludeni-run newspaper of Innis College. 
The Innis Herald has an opcn-lelicr policy. Wc reserve the right to edit any 
subnii\sions. including scxisi. i iu isi. or hoiiiophohic conlcnis, in consulta- 
tion wifh ihc (iiilhor. Alt wriiiiit; siibiiiitled miisr he accompanied by the 
author's signaiure and telephone number. The views and opinions expressed 
in the Innls Herald attribute only to their autliors and do not reflect flic 
opinions of Innis College and the student body. 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



random THOUGHTS 



bingo in the rain??? 



By Erin Beth Southwood 

O.K. Today it was raining. Now 
to a normal person this may be consid- 
ered a mild inconvenience, but, to me, 
an individual who does not wear shoes, 
it pisses me off! I could handle it when 
it got a little cold -- 1 just wore another 
pair of socks, but rain! ~ ahhh! I re- 
ceived from my friends some sugges- 
tions to cope with the elements, like the 
childhood "plastic-bags-on-my-feet-to- 
keep-out-the-water" idea. 

Did your mother ever make you 
do that as a child? Mine did, only be- 



cause I refused to wear ugly plastic 
boots. 1 insisted on wearing those little 
white tennis shoes that you could buy 
for $3.00 at Bi-Way (yeah I admit I 
shopped there). Anyway, after coming 
home, feet drenched, with a cold, my 
mother said it was the boots or the plas- 
tic bags. I figured I could take the bags 
off when I got to school and no one 
would know the difference, whereas 
with boots it would be a little more ob- 
vious when there were a pair of yellow 
galoshes sitting below my coat in the 
cloakroom. So every day it rained I 
wore the bags over my shoes, with 



elastics around my ankles to hold them 
in place. It surprisingly worked. My 
feet were dry and my mother was happy, 
even if 1 did look a little strange and 
made a plastic squeaking sound as I 
walked. 

I do not think as a university stu- 
dent, I could walk around wearing plas- 
tic milk-bags on my feet. I cannot im- 
agine what my professors would think. 
That reminds ... this is to tho.se five guys 
(and everyone - you know who you are) 
who looked at me a little strange as 1 
stare at the ground to avoid walking on 
glass or other Toronto side- walk crap. I 



who is alice white?? 

( a piece of crack investigative reporting, and it may well be my last ) 

urrie Hall 



By Daniel Currie Hall 

On Saturday, October 1 5, some 
300 people gathered outside the Ottawa 
Congress Centre to protest against the 
1 .400 people inside the centre. The peo- 
ple inside were Reform Party delegates, 
bu.sy voting to oppose gun control leg- 
islation, the Official Languages Act, and 
the Employment Equity Act. The peo- 
ple outside formed the Campaign 
Against the Reform Party (or I suppose, 
CARP). I have been trying, in a mis- 
guided and thouroughly out-of-charac- 
ter attempt at serious journalism, to talk 
to these people to find out who they are 
and why they wanted to crash Preston 
Manning's party. Unfortunately, they 
have not been answering their tel- 
ephones of late (they were, after all, busy 
planning a demonstration at the time), 
and while they do have an answering 
machine, it didn't actually answer any 
of my questions. (I promise to write a 
follow-up article if they ever call me 
back.) 

Still, CARP does give a fairly 
clear idea of what they are all about in 
their leaflets. According to the text on 
the front of these, boldly printed across 
a faint image of Mr. Manning's face, 
they are out to prevent Reform from 
obscuring "its image as a racist, sexist, 
homophobic party." On the reverse side 
are several quotations from various re- 
form officials; Mr. Manning's name 
comes up frequently here, as does that 
of Herb Grubel, MP for Capilano-Howe 
Sound. 

I heard that tbe Reform Party's 
usual way of explaining embarrassing 
quotations was to maintain that they 
were quoted out of context, so I called 
the party's Ontario headq.iarters to see 
if this was in fact their defence, and if 
so, what the quotations sounded like in 
context. 1 reached a human being instead 
of a machine this time, but, despite her 
claims to the contrary, she didn't really 
answer the questions, either. After a pre- 
amble of explaining that this is a free 
country and that CARP therefore had 
every right to express their opinions, she 
did accuse them of taking quotations out 
of context. Tlie Reform Party, she ex- 
plained, believes in treating all citizens 
exactly equally, regardless of race, sex. 
sexual orientation, etc. (In fact, she re- 
peated this statement many times dur- 
ing our conversation, often as an alter- 
native to answering more specific ques- 



tions. Sometimes she took the trouble 
to rephrase it, sometimes she didn't.) I 
asked whether she had any specific ex- 
amples of how CARP insidiously ma- 
nipulated the words of innocent Refonn- 
ers; as she did not, I offered to read her 
some of the quotations from the leaflet 
so that she could provide the context for 
them. 

I started with a particularly 
damning remark attributed to Alice 
White, right at the top of the page: "...we 
are letting in loo many people from the 
Third World, the low blacks, the low 
Hispanics. They're going to take over 
the province." What sort of context. 1 
wondered, could possibly explain thai? 

"Who is Alice While?", she 
asked. It was a good question, and I was 
peeved. (I was supposed to be asking 
all the good questions.) The CARP leaf- 
let simply says, "Alice White, Reform 
Party official." "I'm a Reform Party 
official, and I don't know who Alice 
White is," she said. It was perhaps the 
most straightforward remark she made 
to me. 

Undanted, I tried a quotation 
attributed to a more recognizable source. 
CARP quotes Preston Manning as say- 
ing, "Homosexuality is destmctive to the 
individual and in long run to society." 
Didn't this contradict the statement that 
the Reform Party would ignore sexual 
orientation? She couldn't tell me 
whether Mr. Manning had actually made 
the statement in question, and for con- 
text, she repeated her generality (the 
Reform Party believes in treating eve- 
ryone equally, etc.). "Is it in fact the be- 
lief of the Reform Party that homosexu- 
ality is destructive?" I asked. She re- 
peated her spiel again. 1 was getting 
tired of it. 

I wanted specifics. I asked 
whether this policy of equality would 
apply to, say, recognizing homosexual 
marriages as well as heterosexual ones. 
She said that "marriage" was not legally 
defined to include homosexual unions. 
Would Reform change that definition? 
"1 can't get into that," she said vaguely. 
(Why not? Personal distaste for the sub- 
ject? Or a genuine reluctance to reveal 
the party's position on gay rights, which 
seems to be fairly clear, particularly now 
that MP Myron Thomson has been 
quoted as saying, "I do not hate homo- 
sexuals; I hate homosexuality," (not by 



CARP but by the Ghbe and Mail and 
the Toronto Star, and in a context equat- 
ing homosexuality with crime). 

Too frustrated to ask any more 
questions (and eager to retreat from real 
journalism into my usual, comfortable 
realm of opinion, fiction, and pseudony- 
mous poetry), I let her have a closing 
argument of sorts. So she rambled on, 
repeating the "equality" spiel two or 
three more limes for good measure, and 
insisting that the best way to understand 
the Reform Party is not by reading 
carp's quotations, but by talking to 
party representatives and asking them 
for specifics, which of course they 
would cheerfully supply. Upon which I 
said goodbye as politely as my integrity 
and stomach would allow, hung up, and 
screamed. 

P.S. When 1 ran this article 
through my spell checker, it wanted to 
change "Preston Manning" to "Pristine 
Meaning". Ah, the gall of inanimate 
objects! 



heard your cold comment "Hey she's not 
wearing any shoes!" So what? You may 
be hindered by the materialistic ideals 
of a society that insists on Haunting their 
personality (or lack oO through their 
clothing choices, but I am not. 

O.K.. if you have read tliis much, 
you probably either hate me or think I'm 
perhaps a couple pumpkins short of a 
patch (I love Hallowe'en). Well, not to 
worry, because you are not alone, My 
roommates will swear on CNN that I am 
a lunatic. Wait - I have somediing bet- 
ter ... 

Last week 1 was at a little-known 
pub, the Orange Snail on York Campus 
(don't cringe at the word York ~ my best 
friend goes there), so I was there for the 
purpose of participating in a bingo tour- 
nament (hey. bingo's fun). Anyway, dur- 
ing die course of ihe evening, this young 
man and his companion at a nearby ta- 
ble seemed to be showing an interest in 
the female counterparts at my table. We 
were uniniercsted (jocks are just not our 
thing) but decided to humour them in 
between bingo games. The man (who 
never did tell me his name) began the 
conversation with some clever (ha ha) 
typical line or something. My friend re- 
torted sarcaslicaliy. "Hey . you must be 
a visual-arts student" To which he re- 
plied (and I stiff can't believe this one). 
"Me? No\ I'm straight, honest, I'm 
straight!" Yeah. O.K., sure, like we 
were inquiring about your sexual orien- 
tation? I cannot conceive ihat there are 
students (who are supposed to be edu- 
cated) that still believe in these types of 
stereotypes. Let's just say we did not 
exactly prolong the conversation. 

The most frightening thing about 
all this is that he never realized how he 
offended us. He repeated several times 
throughout the evening (especially af- 
ter we threw some bingo chips in his 
beer), "What? Did 1 say something 
wrong?" For the sake of entertainment 
I allowed my friend to humiliate him 
throughout the evening, even if it meant 
he had to sit at our table. I just hope this 
attitude is not prevalent throughout the 
vast portion of my generation's male 
population. I have a bad feeling, though, 
Ihat still we have a long way to go ... 




the innls herald: november/december 1994. 



random THOUGHTS 



Pizza Gigi is definitely uppercrust 



One of the premium aspects of 
life at UofT is the incredible selection 
of cultural activities within a short walk 
of campus. One of the greatest condi- 
tions associated with the Innis lifestyle 
is all the spare lime you have to sample 
these cultural activities. Your only true 
concerns being "is this what I really 
want?" and "what am I going to eat any- 
way?" 

It is unfortunate to note many 
Innis students regularly explore this sec- 
ond question wiihout fully qualifying 
the first. The majority of us consume 
copious amounts of pizza during our 
congenial stay here at St. George's cam- 
pus, but honestly, how many know that 
pizza can actually be the greatest legal 
consumption easily accessible until fnur 
in the morning - or later? I am referring 
of course, to Pizza Gigi. 

Side note- 1 am living in my dream 
house. More on that later -end side note. 



"The crust is 
a big part of it," 



- Steve Kaiien 



Harbord and Lippincoli. but a lei- 
surely stroll through campusland and a 
tittle beyond, for those daring and capi- 
tol enough to somehow break free of the 
Innis pit, has been home for countless 
years to. quite simply, the greatest, most 
elegant, kick-ass Homeric slices of pizza 
ever to be created this side of the great 
beyond. Enjoyed by the desperate, the 
drunken, the sober, the dazed and con- 
fused. You, mc, everyone. Everyone 
who has found Gigi. 

It ail starts with sauce. It's not 
one of those spicy taste the acid of the 
pure almost sun dried tomato type 
sauces popular with the thirty something 
generation, it is a sauce whose life be- 
gins with the timeless joys of garlic, red 
wine, and oregano. It kind of says Bur- 
gundy but the taste is all warmth. It 
gucks, it literally gucks in your mouth 
in that sweet succulent way that makes 
you want to tear off part of the cmst, 
ohh the crust, and goob it around so that 
your pizza becomes more of a French 
countryside picnic rather than a laic 
night famish relief session. 

The crust. The Sicilian double- 



raised thick as a stack of buttermilk pan- 
cakes yet wholly submissive to the whim 
of every tooth crust which slightly 
crunches on the underside while the lop 
slowly ingests the more solvent of the 
pizza-top's ingredients. I know it's 
baked, but some days I swear it could 
be pan-fried in olive oil. Oh my god! I 
can't believe 1 forgot all about the olive 
oil while I was talking about the sauce. 
You know why? Because of the 
oregano. 

All Sicilian slices, and there are 
always at least three different types of- 
fered, the vast majority of which 
are vegetarian', come 
with a delicate and 
caring sprinkle of 
Oregano flakes 
all over the 
whole 
damned 
thing. Thick 
wholesome , 
flakes of I 
semi-dried 
oregano 
which melt 
right into the 
sauce and blend 
promiscuously 
with the onion, with 
the tomato, with the green 
olives, and for those who order 
from home, the Italian sausage, ohh the 
Italian sausage. 

I know this sounds like a dream- 
land, and it is. but there is a nightmarish 
quality new lovers of Gigi must be aware 
of. The wait. The three minutes at least 
of standing around watching other peo- 
ple walk off with their slices while yours 
is still heating up. You know you want 
it. You know it is only three steps away. 
You get the feeling this guy has com- 
pletely forgotten about your existence, 
even though you are blocking his view 
of the entire world, and is currently 
standing there doing nothing about the 
one slice of Gigi you painstakingly se- 
lected from the dozens lining the coun- 
ter which is. as you fret, burning away, 
ounces of joy degenerating into cinders 
every second. And believe me, occa- 
sionally you're right, somehow he has 
forgotten. But even if he hasn't, it has 
been so long you think he has, and if 
you think waiting for that sexy some- 



one to finish in the bathroom is tough, 
you might not live Uirough the inhuman- 
ity of the Gigi counter. You know your 
pizza is coming But it Is Taking Soo 
Long. All 1 can say my friend is. pa- 
tience. Eventually Gigi-lovers learn a 
kind of innate timing. They sit down, 
enjoy a smoke or a game of strip poker 
and just ease because they know that 
when their slice is ready, the door to the 
oven will call a little louder, just for 
them. 

Once you have discovered Gigi, 
your life will change; take on new di- 
mensions; be brighter. For 
instance, lovers 
find it difficult 
to pass the lo- 
cation with- 
out look- 
j/ij,' at die 
store. 
Some- 
times a 
bow or 
some 
type of 
pagan 
tribute is 
d e a m e d 
highly appropri- 
ate, if not compul- 
sory. Any slice from 
somewhere else, diough it 
may be tasty, cheap, and even filling will 
never quite be //(//-filling. Somewhere 
in the back of your head will be a small 
voice saying, "I could be eating Gigi." 




"It took me three 
months. " 

- Rhodes hopeful John Ziedman 



Strangest of all is the apparent 
need to stop people going into other es- 
tablishments and inquire as to their ex- 
periences, if any, with Gigi. Now 1 know 
how Christians feel (though I stop my- 
self from hanging outside Syd Smith 
with a clipboard and two pounds of 
Maybelline smeared all over my visage). 

Tips for beginners: 

1: Sample the sicilHans first. 
They provide a more honest represen- 
tation of Gigi's unique brilliance. 

2: When trying the regular slices 
be wary of ones widi little sauce or too 



many green peppers. No one knows 
how a company with perfect onions, ex- 
quisite sausages (ohh. the Italian sau- 
sage), perfect large-diameter pepperoni 
and ideal tomato slices can fuck up the 
green peppers, but you never know. 

3: If you are standing there wait- 
ing for service and the guy with three- 
day shadow and a Malboro hanging be- 
tween his lips throws out a super fresh 
pepperoni pizza - GRAB IT NOW! 

4: When tirdering to home always 
ask for thick crust (30 minutes) or 
sicillian (one hour, but is it ever worth 



"/ never knew. " 

- Cathy Oh 



.5: NEVER NEVER NEVER piss 
them off or phone back and say, "Oh 
yeah, and onions.'" Honest, they'll ruin 
your pizza. 

6: Gigi does not open for lunch 
Now back to that sidetrack for a little. 
Just why am I now living in my dream 
house? Because I live so close to Pizza 
Gigi that any time I feel like it I can call 
them on my phone, tell them exactly, ex- 
actly what I want on my very own pizza 
- how many Italian sausages, where to 
put the pepperoni, do 1 svani the sauce a 
little to the ends or pushed into the mid- 
dle, and what shape do I want my 
oregano flakes to come in. Hell, if I 
wanted to, I could tell them to fashion 
the onions into a Mona Lisa. I then have 
enough time to go downstairs, sit down 
on my can and enjoy Calvin and Hobbes 
while taking the longest most euphoric, 
if not orgasmic dump I have ever had, 
walk back upstairs, change, look at my- 
self in the mirror, change again until I 
look just right, walk out my door and 
walk, no no no no, stroll, to Pizza Gigi 
and still have lime to play two pinball 
games before some guy says, "Hey, 
Agent Dan, your pizza is ready." And 
all this guy is going to do about it is take 
ten lousy bucks. Ohh yeah, this day 
keeps getting worse and worse. 

' How I ever got to accept pizza 
without pepperoni I'll never understand. 
But you can get toppings on slices for 
half a buck. 



you have too much 
time on your hands 



anonymous 

i think that you have had loo much 
time on your hands to spend so much 
time deciding what is right and what is 
wrong how dare you tell me what i see 
is wrong who the hell told you that you 
rule how do you know did you chat it 
up with Chaucer did he tell you did you 
ask him a question and he answered ask 
me and i'll tell you that you suck you 
cut everyone down until you smile 
tightly and frustratedly because no one 
is giving you what you want why be- 
cause you're pathetic and you made all 
this shit up and why should anyone else 
think of il who lold you all this hat 
bullshit i'm spending way loo much 
money to sit here^and have you tell mc 
what to think i think four hundred dol- 
lars for this goddam course gives mc the 
right to think what i want pay me eight 



hundred and maybe i'll be the audience 
you obviously want the one who sits in 
the goddam front row and nods at eve- 
rything you say and laughs at your 
goddam jokes and maybe i'll regurgi- 
tate all the crap you want me to i have a 
problem with this i think you are fucking 
high on yourself you're supposed to 
teach us not shove a hose down our 
throats and force-feed us all this shit 
you've been formulating for all these 
years you've had too much time on your 
hands i can write and it feels good and 
no one is going to tell me i'm a fool and 
ask what was my point and didn't i read 
the book and what was i gelling al well 
this is my point that you suck and i hope 
someday someone kicks away the soap- 
box you're on and you lay in a crum- 
pled twisted heap on the floor god will i 
laugh 




the innis herald: novetnber/december 1 994. 



random THOUGHTS 




Dear Aunt Alma, 

A little less than a month ago I 
took my roomalc and two male friends 
to the movies (with free passes of 
course). When we walked into the half- 
empty theatre, one of the guys we went 
with declared that there just weren't four 
scats together in an idea! location and 
insisted that we simply must split up. 
So the two guys sat together and my 
roomate and I went and sat in the mid- 
dle of an empty row and enjoyed the 



movie. I couldn't believe how they just 
ditched us like that after ! took them 
there, so us two gals took off after the 
show without waiting for them. The one 
guy called me after they got back to say 
sorry but they did not realize that it 
would upset us so, while the other 
(whose bright idea it was to take off on 
us) did not bother. My point. Aunt Alma, 
is: was this a really inconsiderate thing 
for them to do or am 1 just over-react- 
ing? 

Signed, 
Abandoned. 

Dear Abandoned, 

Your two friends are obviously 
members of the view-and-run school. 
(Perhaps there's something more than 
friendship between them...) My advice 
is, when it comes to free passes, make 
sure you're on the receiving end. Are 
these guys friends or freeloaders? If you 
decide they're friends, tell them how you 
feel. If not. blow them off. They're not 
worth the ticket price. 

Dear Aunt Alma, 

I have a problem wih my love life. 
My boyfriend and I have used food in 



our sexual practice and foreplay for two 
years now. At first it was exciting and 
new but now it's getting a little boring. 
Anyway my problem is that now 
everytime I open the fridge, I gel homy... 
Any suggestions...? 
Signed, 

Lotus Cream Dreamer. 

Dear Lotus Cream Dreamer, 

Perhaps a lighter alternative 
would be best. I suggest Cool Whip 
Light, Philly Cream Cheese Light 
(spreadablc only) and a variety of fruit 
at the bottom yoghurts. If household 
appliances are becoming a problem, you 
might want to try aversion therapy. At- 
tach an electric buzzer to the fridge han- 
dle. Soon you will associate fridges with 
pain and unpleasantness. Either that, or 
your hair will fall out. 

P.S. Peanut butter tastes belter 
with everything. And it rejuvenates your 
skin! 

Dear Aunt Alma, 

I'm distressed. 1 kind of like this 
person, but a lot of people don't seem 
to think the person is any good. Nor- 
mally. I don't care what other people 



think, but the problem is I really don't 
know the person too well. I guess I'm 
worried that all the people are right 
about the person, and I might get hurt. 
What should I do? 

Signed, 

Distressed. 

Dear Distressed, 

Love is blind -- I'm glad you're 
wearing contacts. Often friends see 
warning signs that yt)u overlook. If your 
friends are genuine and interested only 
in your well-being, 1 would take their 
advice to heart. On the other hand, ii is 
almost impossible to walk away from a 
love-interest once the bug has bitten. So. 
if you must pursue this person, do so 
with eyes wide open. Any more prob- 
lems, drop me a line. 

Send your pleas for advice to: 

Dear Aunt Alma 

c/o The Innis Herald 

2 Sussex Ave,. Rm. 305 
... or drop them off in the box outside 
the Herald office. 



Announcement 

Group: Canada-Wide Campaign for a 
modem Constitution 
Speaker: Hardial/Baines 
Date: Nov. 9lh 
Time: 7:00 

Place: Med. Sci. BIdg. 

Location: Room 2173 

Topic: The need for a modern 

Consiituition and dcnKKrattc renewal 

Por more Info Contact: Barbara Seed 

(537-SM2) 



Violating Cobain's 
Ghost 

by Charles Yung 

Two weeks ago I heard a radio 
call in show on the late Kurt Cobain. It 
seemed that everyone who called in had 
an opinon about his lifestyle, his person- 
ality, his problems, his death, and prob- 
ably his dog and his cat too. The com- 
ments were judgemental and personal, 
things like "he was a loser", "he was a 
martyr", "he was a coward". I think most 
every aspect of his life was dragged out 
and critisized, above all, his suicide. 



Why is il that people feet it's their 
right, no. their duty to make judgements 
on the lives of people they never met. 
never knew, and never really cared about 
anyway? They .seem to think that they 
can play god, blessing or damning who- 
ever (hey chose, and then defend (heir 
slaicnicnis with ihe ever-popular "free- 
dom itt speech". Yes, I believe in 
everybodies right to say what they think; 
that includes bigots, homophobes. eve- 
ryone. But that doesn't mean that eve- 
rything should be said. 

Tiie way in which the public and 
the media had dealt with the death of 
Cobain and other public figures has been 
disrespectful at best, disgusting at worst. 
As the most recent, and in some ways 
one of the most publicized occurences, 
it highlights all of the worst aspects of 
our media system; sensationalisim. 
vicous criticisim, and merchandising (I 
think seeing a Kurt Cobain T-shirt with 
the years of his life on it made me physi- 
cally ill.) 

Yes to free media, but please, 
have some sense of decency. The pri- 
vate lives of the famous are not public 
properiy. The lives of the famous are 
not there for egotistical tecny-bopers to 
make judgements on. And as for Kurt 
Cobain, let his memory rest. If you must 
talk about something, try his music. It's 
the one thing he gave to the world, and 
the only thing we really have a right to. 



Free Tickets!!! 



The first 20 people to find the inscription written inside i 
"The Elcrnal Champion" i 
by Michael MOORCOCK (book could be found in the Herald ] 
office during office hours) ] 
gets a free pass to the ' 



Carpe Diem. . . 

hy Diane Sidik 

Life is short, so make the most of it. Live each day as if it was your last 
because you can't predict the fulure. 

We weave a meagre thread in this gargantuan plane of existence; though we 
are in solid control of our mental faculties, biology pulls the reins. 

No matter how hard we try to evade death, it creeps up on us when we're 
not looking. .."HA! Gotcha! Can't turn back now baby "cause you're mine!" 

I don 't believe any of iliat builshii about how the afterlife is so much belter 
than real life because life is real. Savour iis joys, taste the pain — nobody gets a 
second chance. 




Metropolitan Cinema! j 




the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



random THOUGHTS 



lula can suck minea 



I am writing to express my ut- 
ler concern about Luia Lipson's ram- 
blings about the uselessness of men 
in the past issue of the //eraW. Obvi- 
ously your loss of faith in the male of 
the human species is due to some un- 
fortunate slick-ins with some sleaze 
who do call themselves men. I firmly 
believe that your unfortunate "■expe- 
rience" which you refer to was sim- 
ply a lapse of your better feminine 
judgement, as a touch of skanky ho- 
ness look over for a night and you 
were simply hunted. Myself, almost 
being too romantic for my own good, 
am sure that you have not turned into 
the undesirable witch you describe 



yourself as becoming. You just need 
a dose of true romance, which the 
doctor Johnny Lover can suggest and 
supply. A roaring fire on a chilly To- 
ronto eve. a bottle of alcoholic bev- 
erage by candle-light, and a riff of 
"Tears in Heaven" the ol' accoustic 
is just what you need to restore your 
faith in romance. Must sex be men- 
tioned? Of course not; is it assumed 
to take place. I know it is hard to 
reverse your feelings with the writ- 
ten word, as die sensuous touch is 
what is needed, but it cannot be con- 
veyed through the newspaper. 
Until then, Lula ... 



here's to old lost friends 



by huge dare 

God I miss those days. Those 
days when I waved my hand at you and 
said. "Hello." 

Are you at all like me? Do you 
remember orcare? It's not been so long, 
why does it feel so long ago? I'm sit- 
ting here, in our favourite place. In an 
old wooden coffee shop, silting on a 
rickety set of ebony chairs across from 
the mirror. Our mirror. 

I remember when we would jusi 
stop all the talking. All that useless noise. 
Admit it, il was just conversation that 
we felt was necessary. But you felt it, 
didn't you? That we didn't really need 
to speak. The company was enough. I 
remember words failing me, so I slopped 
to sip the coffee and silently stare at your 
reflection. 

I guess you never really knew. 
During those moments, when I bottled 
up into myself. When I paused and acted 
distracted. That I was actually gazing at 
you through the mirror. I stared at your 
beauty with a fog-filled mind. A child- 
ish innocence that doesn't seem to be 



there anymore. It wasn't easy to look 
away. I don't know why. 

Know this, I could have stared 
for an infinite measure. 1 had heard that 
many poets had often spent hours star- 
ing into a pond or garden, to quietly 
meditate on colours of feelings that they 
brought about. I understand them for 1 
Ihink I was of them. 

I miss you. and now that I think 
of it, I think I loved you. Even though 
we ncverkissed or hugged. Even though 
I never actually touched you, I know 
that feeling must be true. Friends have 
told me diat the touch of your love could 
bring an electrical feeling of life , A dar- 
ing jolt of anticipation, experience and 
comfort. I may have missed that, but 
sometimes I think I was given more. 

I look in the mirror now and see 
an empty chair. It reminds me of an in- 
cnmpleieness I find within myself. I 
shun the mirror and stare deep inside 
the empty cup on the table. A spoon 
hangs out from the inside. Perhaps 
someday, I'll drink to friends again. 




Bad Karma Spawns 
Burger King 



TOP 6 WAYS TO FIND 
Burger King 

(With apologies to the number 7) 
Fellow Innisites might be won- 
dering just where in fuck Burger King 
operates. As we at the Herald are full 
of Good Karma, we offer this simple 
guide as possible ways to locate the es- 
teemed editors of Burger King. (That's 
if they will do anything but wipe their 
asses with your siufi) 

' 6. Hang around photocopiers. 
5. Follow your nose, it always 
knows. 

4. Stand in front of a mirror and 
say "Bad Karma" five times. 

3. Eat a lot of rotten raspberry 
sandwiches, astral project, and follow 
the trail. 

2. Barf up meatloaf and watch it 
solidify into a s\i page newspaper. 

1 . Why would you want to? 



Ode to Burger King 

by Julia Burton 

At Innis a rag called Bad Karma 
Caused apoxisms in everyone's 

dharma 

The articles written 

Made me feel I was bitten 

In the gut by a bad chicken 

schwarma 

And Burger King was 

born... 

Twenty years ago Michael met 
Bubbles the chimp and they melded. 
Thai same evening, a shot was heard, 
and two large eggs landed from the 
planet Ork. Out hatched Bad and 
Karma, the instant editors of the instant 
paper... Burger King. Their childhood 
was alonley one, their only friends Liz 
and Oprah. At nineteen they saddled 
up the lama and headed off for innis 
College in search of knowledge, truth 
and the American Way. 

Bui ihe sands of Innis were not 
good enough for Bad and Karma. They 
grew resentful, bruding, their bowel 



movement's irregular. Their raspberry 
sandwiches were left to mold over. In 
short, their lives were crap. But then, 
when all seemed lost. Bad and Karma 
came up with a brilliant (if democrati- 
cally challenged) idea. 

Bad-Let's write our own newslet- 
ter. 

Kanma- Yeah, and fdl it with eso- 
teric streams of consciousness. 

Bad-That make absolutely no 

sense. 

Karma- And sound the same! 
Bad-So no one else can write for 
us but us. 

Karma- Because we're Bad- 
Bad- Karma! 

Karma- Ooo Bad, you make me 
tingle. 

Bad-I'm hungry. 
Karma- And I'm celibate. 

Don't Squeeze the Karma 

by Up D. Ass 

Reading your newsletter has 
changed my life! Before il was 
Mciamucil or Ex-lax. Now, just a three 
and a half minute read of Innis' excit- 
ingly new. REGULAR publication (are 
bold letters for bullshit, cow shil or just 
plain shit?) and a new bowel movement 
has fallen! 



Thanks to Burger King I no longer 
have to use prickly Herald newsprint for 
rectal recussitation- white 8 1/2 x II 
paper is so much smoother! 

On a scale of I to lO.BK, 

URINATE! 



Dear Messers, rats and 
phat pharts 

Oh. wc bow to your holy 
righeousness and superior literariness. 
How are wc supposed to achieve you 
exquisite standards when we do not 
share the same Sally Slruthers ICS 
alumnus? Your fine education glows 
from every expressive page. Here at die 
Herald we sit and wail, picking our 
noses, praying your smell will drift 
down the corridor to our office, bring- 
ing with il the aroma of good writing. 
Perhaps we could join forces and to- 
gether battle the emperor. Or even bet- 
ter, keep writing pathetic cheap shots 
about the Herald so we can waste space 
insulting you back. 

Love. 

Phornicatingly, phreaky, 
pheculant. phomless. in-pherlile, phowl, 
phishy, phraudulenl, phuck. pherdempl, 
phingers. 



the innis herald: november/december 1 994. 



C OMMENTARY 




To attack Rurals is to attack Hip 
Hop. Tcenagcd-ncss, and The spirit of 
self. If Rurals isn't for you, don't bother 
to read il. Wipe your ass with it if you 
want. Last month I told weak people 
not to read Rurals. Frank disregarded 
the warning, read on, and wasted time 
by actually complaining. Fuck, who 
cares? 

So here's Rurals for the cusp... 

I know this guy who thinks 
chicks get the short end of the rurals 
stick, since their rural styles are light- 
fitling. I know this other guy who says 
chicks get shafted since most rurals 
music is aggressive. Two valid points 
but... 

1 went to Montreal on the week- 
end to .see my friend and fellow rurals 
guy Dr. Hoo. The dominant style in 
Montreal was Gino, no question. 
Rurals was blue ribbon. I noticed these 
chicks at this club called "Foufons 
Electroniques" ("Electric Asscheeks" in 
English). They had the tight-fitting, 
small-sleeved, three-striped, oval-en- 
veloped rurals gear, and they were get- 
ting down to Public Enemy and Ice 
Cube and Ministry and shit. I don't 
know if these chicks were genuinely 
happy listening to such cock-fueled mu- 
sic", and sweating in their shrink- 
wrapped gear, or if they just wore the 
illusion of ruralian bliss. 1 wanted to 
step, but I thought it best not to bring it 
to their attention that in every way they 
were rural*. And who says chicks don't 
like loud music? We can't expect 
chicks to dig only R. Kelly and the 
Cranberries and shii. And about tight 
gear, big deal. I'm sure rurals chicks 
aren't going. "Danm! To be rurals I 
must wear uncomfortable gear!" 



Rurals at first was a style much 
like B-Boy. The B-Boys and Flye Girls 
wore the same shit; Starter Gear, baggy- 
ass Buffalo. Swings, crooked caps. The 
style was androgenous, and con.sequcntly 
very unsexy. When Rurals dropped, it 
was male-geared and so chicks had to 
bust andro styles as well. 1 remember 
the first time I saw a real rurals chick. 11 
was at a Beastie Boys concert two years 
ago. She rocked a big Clobber jacket, 
huge jeans. Stales. It was weird man. 
weird and unsexy. Now chicks have a 
choice. They can by up lo them. It's 
just too bad I can't squeeze into one of 
those tight-ass tees with boobs oti the 
front. That's cool. 

*Rurals gets played out when 
people go, "Hey. I'm rurals." It relies 
on being lowkey. The minute it gets 
hype, companies flood the shops with 
whipped-up, second-rale gear. Rurals is 
best when it's home-made. Don't sweat 
it, it's loo late. Rurals has already taken 
over. Stay tuned. (Why is this style called 
"rurals"? What farm did you grow up 
on? - etymological ly bemused jr typing 
ed.) {The farm your dad works on, skill- 
lacker. - Judge Rob) 

The Rurals Top Ten 

1 . The S impsons, eleven times a week 

2. Operation Vagabond (shhh) 

3. "Unbelievable" - Biggie Smalls 

4. Fila gear 

5. "Murder was the case" - Snoop 

Doggy Dogg 

6. Spacehawk comics 

7. Fuckheads who take drugs 

8. "Staria" - Smashing Pumpkins 

9. Bitlies in the BK lounge, Urbanes 

10. Hip Hop groups that sample Joy Di- 
vision and Bauhaus 



"why c^am't a feRoTtieR M-x t)o Y 

^0 t eVeN CARe AftoJT IT 
vem^ x>o WHAT 1 

to 00 , & '(^et Tue. 



urbans 




by funky hot papa 

I'm the funky hot papa, from 
Scarborough, I've been around, and I 
sure the hell am't no cocky nineteen- 
year fmsh. i wuz goiuia c;iU tiiis col- 
umn, "Pissing OJY Rurals," but I'd get 
loo many letters ihanking me. Oh 
yeah. ! am proud of who \ am, but dial 
don't make me arrogant, ami 
as.sholish. No shit. Nti lie. 

Rural, you might miss your 
skool.but that don't mean you can be 
cocky in your column. Ass you stated. 
'' Being aj5 ass wuz "^o good. Assc^ are 
the best. Asses are too cool tor 
notelaking and class participation 
marks." Well, let me remind you, if 
you haven't caught on yet: YOU 
AIN'T IN HI SKOOL NO MORE! If 
being an ass wuz so good, dien I hope 
Roseanne B;trT gives you a full moon 
in your face every blotxly day. 

Ass for noi paiticipaiing in one 
of the best events ui University, that 
being tVosh week, diat didn't make 
you an ass, thai made you a nerd, 
('member? The assicst thing you did 
wuz refusing \o shake [he hand of a 
nerd in your art class!) Das right, you 
is 3 NERD. Frosh week is no wack. 
in fact I think you is wack. Way wack. 
Who sez you had to drmk. What does 
being lonely have to do wit frosh 
week? Tlierc is only one redeeming 
qua)ir\' in your column, Rurals, ''Who 
Cares!! 

I know you is wack 'cause, 
rurais are not like what you is. Rurals 
is not"baggy. or any tiling oval around 
it," Rurals. get a life. "Give it up" - 



so scz your band Public Enemy. Life 
is short, so play hard (ha! ha! ). I look 
foPA'ard to going coUimn-to-coUimn 
wilcha. Ass you can sec and read, dis 
column is a paragraph for paragraph 
mirror response to your coltimn. f 
know you ain't gonna like dis, but das 
life man. "Cause "I AiM." Fornow I'll 
leave you wii the Urbans Top S, (yo. 
rurals, noUcc it is numerical, not writ- 
ten. And it ain't no cheap Lettemian 
wannabe. Top Ten MY ASS!* whicii 
is basically just a list of things I en- 
joy. En-Joy! 

ii rt?anT? pS 

%. Phomicating 
7. Condoms 

6. April Wine. SepL wit LAP, 
RPM 

5. Anything noi wriifen by Rural 

4. Freedom of Speech 

3. Aunt Alma 

2. Innis 

1. Originality 

P.S. Yo. bud-dy. Ch-ill. Da nanic's 
Funky Hoi Papa. Y:t don't see me call- 
ing ya Judge, or the Juilge man, or 
Jack. orSimon, or Bob. or Robert, do 
ya? And it's MISTER P'unky to ya. 
Oh. ya. \VTiattsama(ter witcho? If ya 
can't stand llic heat don't play wit fire. 
You might get burned. I'm here, so 
live wit it. bud-dyM If ya really didn't 
care, then why write? 'Sides, who sez 
1 wuz aitackin' . just jiving', man. Slay 
hip, and be nice. Urbuns all the way. 
No ass-wiping and no wack shii here. 



Free Tickets!!! : 

The first 20 people to find tlie inscription written inside Z 

"The Eternal Champion" by Micliael MOORCOCK I 

(book could be found in the Herald office during office hours) J 

gets a free pass to the J 

Metropolitan Cinema! • 

k the innis herald: november/december 1 994. 



C OMMENTAR Y 



"the change" in Poland 

by Paulina V/yrzykowska 



Since the transition from a 
(theoretically) communist system to a 
(hypothetical ly) capitalist one in 1989, 
many articles have been written by 
Western journalists on the enormous 
changes taking place in Poland. 
Having grown up in the "bad old 
days" of Poland, I don't feel qualified 
to debate whether the communist 
system was really as oppressive as 
some people claim, or merely inept 
and ridiculous. Politics played a very 
small pan in my life, and I certainly 
never felt oppressed by a system 
which I was bom into and considered 
as natural as the air that I breathed. 

What I can attempt, however, is 
to give an account of what my country 
is like now, five years after "the 
change". More importantly, I can do 
this from the perspective of someone 
who is just enough of an outsider to 
notice things foreigners would never 
see and Poles would take for granted. 

"Cholera! Poczekaj chwlle!" 

As my aunt hopped out of the 
car, 1 twisted around to face the back 
seal where my friends sat scrunched in 
improbable positions. 

"One of the windshield wipers 
just fell off and my aunt's gone to fix 
it," I translated. 

She came back in a few minutes, 
her short hair dripping water onto the 
fake-pink fur of the seat covers. My 
friends were giggling in the back seat 
and she threw them an amused glance 
before looking back at me. 

■'Tell your friends this is what 
our Polish reality is like here. That's 
how cars are. that's how life is." She 
laughed and continued in her sharp, 
inherently sarcastic voice, " I keep 
losing that frigging wiper every time it 
rains. At least it didn't fly off this 
time. And this is a new car too!" 

She's right. This Is what life in 



my country is like. Complaints 
delivered in a tone of bravado are as 
much a part of Poland as the unshak- 
able conviction that no matter how 
many windshield wipers break off, or 
how many price increases there may 
be over the next month, life will go on 
as usual. Every time I visit, saturated 
with the brief, sporadic coverage of 
the Western media and the stories I 
hear from newly-returned visitors, I 
am shocked to find that Poland feels 
the same as ever. 

Beneath the glitzy packaging of 
the new system, lie meanings and 



"I certainly never 
felt oppressed by a 
system I was born 
I into" I 

beliefs which do not change. 

One of those is a sort of down- 
to-earth, black humour which "keeps 
us from going insane" and makes the 
most ridiculous legislation or living 
condition sufferable. 

Another of those prevailing 
national Uiemes is a sense of history. 
Foreign visitors often remark on the 
feeling that the past is all around them 
in Poland. Time flows differently in 
my country. In a way, what may have 
happened fifty years ago is still 
happening today, because people 
remember it and It plays an active part 
In their lives, influencng how they 
think and see diings. 

I was bom in Warsaw. Warsaw 
has been the capital of Poland for the 
past three hundred years or so, but the 
city itself is less dian fifty years old. 
In 1944, on the verge of being liber- 
ated, Warsaw was burned to the 



ground by Nazi Sondercommando 
units who made their way through the 
city methodically blowing up one 
house after another. They were 
following Hitler's orders to have 
Warsaw "eradicated, totally and 
completely" in retribution for the 
uprising initialed by the AK under- 
ground. By the end of the war not a 
single house was left standing. The 
survivors who made their way back 
only to find their homes destroyed, 
started to rebuild immediately. They 
built on top of the mins, often using 
the bumed-out rubble itself as the only 
available building material. 

Today Warsaw is a fairly large 
city by European standards. It is 
complete with an old town which was 
reconstructed meticulously, based on 
the works of long-dead painters. At 
first glance it looks just like any other 
city in Europe, be it Frankfurt or 
Copenhagen. There isn't any other 
city, however, where bullet holes and 
pieces of shell can be found in the 
walls of houses where the original 
mins were incorpurated. Or where 
walls that are mosaics of bright red 
and dull grey brick, some new, some 
burned out in the fire that destroyed 
the city, are commonplace. It is 
impossible to walk for a block in 
Warsaw without hitting a plaque 
dedicated to victims of a street 
execution, or commemorating a 
makeshift insurgent cemetary. 

Tragedy of such magnitude 
doesn't really fade with time. It 
remains in the collective conscious- 
ness of the city and alters the way that 

"bullet holes and pieces of 1 
shell can be found in the 
walls of houses where the 
original ruins were incorpo- 
I rated" 



city looks at things and brings up It's 
children. Warsaw is a drastic exam- 
ple, but there isn't a place in Poland 
that doesn't have stories of the same 
sort. My country has' the dubious 
honour of being situated between 
Russia and Germany, both countries 
with strong imperial aspirations. Us 
history s a long list of conquests, 
occupations and uprisings. This is the 
feeling that a visitor is most likely to 
get - the conviction that history is not 
something in the past, but something 
that happens to all of us, all the time 
and effects everyone to some degree. 

Having spent a lot of time 
discussing all die things which never 
seem to change in my country, I now 
feel obliged to mention the one 
phenomenon which does actually 
seem to hint at future changes in the 
national character. 

According to Wpros!. one of the 
leading Polish publications. 90% of 
the nation are proclaimed Catholics. 
2.4% are neutral towards religion, and 
1.3% are atheists. Presumably, the 
remaining 6.3% are people of different 
religious affiliations. I would hazard a 
guess that this ration has not changed 
substantially since 1989, although of 
course some of the Catholics would 
have been less outspoken about their 
beliefs under communism. What has 
changed, however, al least in the 



younger generation, is the genera! 
attitude of people towards religion and 
the church. 

WTiile I was growing up, going 
to church was a political protest as 
much as it was an act of faith. The 
Polish Catholic church has historically 
stood for upholding the Polish culture 

"Religion is an 
official part of the 
school cirriculum." 



and language against occupiers and 
successive regimes. While it mostly 
refrained from making overt protests 
against the communist government (in 
return for the government's silent 
tolerance of its existence), people still 
saw it as the bastion of patriotism and 
decency in an increasingly corrupt 
system. 

I met a friend this summer 
whom I haven't seen for four years. 
We used to be best friends in primary 
school and just about the only endur- 
ing contention between us was the fact 
that his family was Catholic and mine 
was Atheist. When I last saw him we 
got into an argument over the imple- 
mentation of religion classes in public 
schools. This summer, I brought the 
point up again. He laughed and said, 
"Yeah, I have to admit you were right 
about that one. Oh, and I'm not 
Catholic anymore. In fact I'm at the 
stage where I'm trying to find a faith I 
can believe in." 

It wasn't the notion of religion 
that he discounted, but the institution 
of the church. Since the election of 
Walesa, the church has been steadily 
gaining political ground. New chapels 
are being built throughout Poland. 
The anti-abortion bill has been 
implemented. Religion is an official 
part of the school curriculum. 

More than once this summer 
I've heard people say the church tried 
to grab too much, too fast. The 
avarice of Uie priests is glaring in 
times of economic turmoil. The 
Catholic church's intolerance of 
differing beliefs is beginning to grate 
on people's nerves. In short, while 
playing an increasingly-powerful role 
in everyday life, the church is swiftly 
losing its place as a national symbol 
and changing into an oppressive 
power which might be resented and 
ridiculed. People are beginning to 
view the church hierarchy in the same 
way they have always seen the 
government: as something alien and 
hostile, and certainly not a representa- 
tive of the people. 

At the end of the two-and-a-half 
weeks we spent in Poland, I asked my 
Canadian friend what he thought of 
the country. He thought for a moment 
and answered, "Character. Your 
country's got so much character and 
passion. There're depths here I can't 
even begin to comprehend." When all 
is said and done, maybe that is the 
essential characteristic of Poland. I 
sometimes think Poles get addicted to 
the depth and passion and that's what 
makes us so fanatically attached to a 
country diat is often less than perfect 
and by no means easy to comprehend. 




the innis herald: november/december 1994. 




INTERVIEW 



A Discussion with Dan Leckie 



by Stan Chan 



Forthosc of you who don't know, 
there is an election going on. Although 
the spotlight has been focused on June 
Rowlands. Barbara Hall, and Gerry 
Meinzer, those living wiihin the bounda- 
ries running south of Bloor and between 
Bathurst and Bay. (including the Toronto 
Islands) fall within what is called Ward 
5. University of Toronto falls in this dis- 
trict, and as such, students have a stake 
in how the election turns out. It is. after 
all your livelihood that is being affected. 
For example, how many students have 
affordable housing? Will students get a 
low-cost Metro pass? Why is there never 
any parking on campus when you need 
it? These issues arc important to Innis 
students as well as all students in Uni- 
versity. 

In Ward 5 there are three candi- 
dates running for City Council, they are: 
Dan Leckie, Benson Lau. and Spiro 
Karagianis. 

I had the pleasure of interview- 
ing Dan Leckie. He has been active in 
the downtown community for over 30 
years. In those 30 years, he has been a 
Toronto Board of Education Trustee, 
brought the "Blue Box" recycling to To- 
ronto, and worked with former down- 
town councilor Jack Layton to develop 
Toronto's "Healthy City" plan. In addi- 
tion, he designed and implemented On- 
tario's new community economic devel- 
opment program. 

Now what does this mean to 
Innis students? To begin with, Dan 
hopes to sit down with the University 
and discuss their future plans for hous- 
ing development. He said that, "the Uni- 
versity has stated it's intentions to ask 
for zoning increases, density increases, 
in what is called an intensification of 
uses in the neighbourhood." As we all 
know there is a housing problem, there 
simply aren't enough houses to go 
around for students. Wrong! There are 
many houses that are available, but are 
vacant. 

- Dan found that, during canvasing, 
"many of the houses that were student 
residences were left vacant, and run- 
down." What arc U of T's intentions? 
There is the fear that the University in- 
tends to sell off some of their houses to 
the private sector, to facilitate the build- 
ing of new facilities. Dan Leckie be- 
lieves that U of T must act as a respon- 
sible landlord, and must consult with the 
residents. Said Dan, "the residents must 
be involved in the process." 

What about a low-cost Metro 



pass? When asked how he can convince 
the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) 
to provide students with a low-cost 
Metro pass, he stated that he would like 
to work with the students in a student 
run campaign. It is the responsibility of 
the students to argue with the TTC that 
they "need more affordable transit, and 
the transit needs more students." By pro- 
viding students with low-cost Metro 
passes, it would increase ridership, as 
well as make the students life long pub- 
lic transit users. Dan Leckie said that 
he "is not just going to vote [ for the stu- 



Harbourfront would be better suited for 
the promotion of the Arts, such as the 
Jazz Festival, which was held there this 
summer. 

With respect to the Kensington 
Community, he plans to utilize the com- 
munity economic development strategy, 
which is based on the theory that to im- 
prove the community, one must build 
from the strengths of the community. 
This plan deals with the local residents, 
who would be investing their money into 
their own businesses, which would help 
build a viable local economy, as opposed 




dents], but will act as a community or- 
ganizer," It is his contention that if the 
students make enough noise about the 
low-cost Metro pass, the TTC will take 
notice. By working in conjunction with 
the students. Dan hopes the process vvill 
move more quickly. 

What about the other issues in 
this campaign? One of the primary is- 
sues Dan intends to tackle deals with the 
expansion of the Island Airport. He does 
not believe that an expanded Island Air- 
port would be conducive with the envi- 
ronment, and the community living on 
the Toronto Island. Moreover, it could 
well be a deterrent to the tourism indus- 
try on the Island, with the increased ac- 
tivity and noise from the larger jets. He 
offers an alternative solution, namely a 
rail-link that would run from downtown 
to Pearson Airport. He says the cost of 
building the rail-link would be similar 
to the cost of the expansion of the Is- 
land Airport. 

Another issue which he is op- 
posed to is the introduction of a gam- 
bling casino on the waterfront, which 
would not be compatible to residential 
and recreational living. He believes 



to waiting for the economy to move Into 
their neighbourhood. The risk of invest- 
ing can encourage growth of the local 
community economy, and "will 
enpower the residents." It will also pride 
them with experience and networking. 
Dan docs not deny the fact that these 
risks are not without failures, but states 
that "the process is exciting, and that it 
will serve the residents." 

It has been said in many news- 
papers and articles that his opponent, 
Benson Lau, has the support of the larger 
Asian community. It is not a myth to say 
that people of ethnicity vote along ethic 
lines, and not on the issues presented. 
The matter of language is also a hin- 
drance. When asked whether or not the 
"ethnic " vote would be a factor, he 
stated that he has played prominent role 
in many Asian related projects, and tliat 
the Asian community does know him. 
Besides he has the support of many 
Asians, such as incumbent Metro Coun- 
cillorOlivia Chow, and NDP'er Winnie 
Ng. 

Dan Leckie 's philosophy is com- 
munity oriented, and all of his plans sur- 
rounds the idea of improving and bet- 



tering the community, and its residents, 
in addition to the local economy. The 
idea of the local residents investing their 
money into their own business to fur- 
ther the growth of the community 
economy is a good one. However, this 
concept is not without risk, and failure. 
That is you lose your money. But like 
life, you must initiate yourown success, 
and not wait for people to initiate it for 
you. I guess for the residents of the Ken- 
sington Area, this idea could well stimu- 
late economic growth for the commu- 
nity. With respect to the expansion of 
the Island Airport issue, if Dan can sell 
the idea of a rail-link, then I don't see 
why the City Council can't go ahead 
with his plan. I think it would be more 
environmentally friendly, and probably 
more cost efficient. 

Notwithstanding the fact that I 
have a personal bias against casinos to 
begin with. 1 must agree that casinos are 
disruptive to any community, regardless 
of its location. However, it is inevita- 
ble that Toronto will have a casino, the 
question that remains is the location. 
Hopefully, it won"t be in the 
Harbourfront area, where it could 
distrupt the peaceful residences and the 
thriving Art community. In order for stu- 
dents to get a low-cost Metro pass, I 
believe that students must organize 
themselves and make as much noise as 
we can. Call SAC (Student Administra- 
tive Council), talk to your president, 
Gareth Spangleit. Make him work for 
his position. Tell him that his position is 
not an honourary one. Then work with 
Dan to sell the idea that it would be ben- 
eficial to both the TTC and the students. 

With respect to the development 
on campus, I strongly agree that there 
needs to be a process whereby diere is 
participation from the students, and the 
residents of the neighbourhood. But will 
the process and the participation be 
enough? TTie University is die landlord, 
albeit a public landlord with responsi- 
bilities, but a landlord nevertheless. Ul- 
timately, the decision will be theirs, but 
at the very least we will know what they 
are doing, and what their intentions are. 

Is Dan Leckie the solution to the 
problems and issues in Ward 5? That has 
yet to be decided, but I do know that the 
solutions he offers are sound, and his 
experience over the years, working with 
the community, ciin only benefit the peo- 
ple in Ward 5. 



Take the 'A' Train 



hy Bagomundo 

With almost as much pleasure as 
I obtained from Pelee Island Winery's 
Camay Noir 1993 Ducks Unlimited 
Edition (produced right here in Ontario), 
I devoured the first new issue of the stun- 
ning Innis Herald. Heartfelt 
congratualtions to all who slaved so long 
and hard stomping the grapes of the 
press machine to produce this delight- 
ful missive. 

I note, with much hilarity, the 
first editorial of the first new edition. 
Presumably penned by one of the es- 



teemed editors, although they (quite 
rightly) wish to remain anonymous, it 
is a fascinating diatribe that evokeed 
much violin symphonies in my right 
brain. 

With pomp and circumstance I 
obtained access to TTC stacks and read 
brochures and minutes and recommen- 
dations and reports. {You mean 
propaganda- ed.) Some 1 even stayed 
awake for. The author of "Students 
Derailed" should brush up on their BSL. 
(Buses as a Second Language). No- 
where in "TTC-ese" are University stu- 
dents identified or referred to as TRAN- 



SIT CAPTIVES. (Not officially you 
pimple nosed prat - ed. ) 

The salient and simple facts of 
the matter are these: 1 ) Tlie TTC has one 
of the best safety records in any metro- 
politan city. 2)Tlie TTC has studied the 
possiblity of providing low-cost fares for 
post-secondary students extensively. In 
1988 a Mr. Worotynec (S.A.C.) ad- 
dressed the commission along the lines 
of the "4 for 3" Student Metropass. De- 
spite beliefs that students greatly con- 
tribute to revenue gains on the Rocket, 
only 32% of those questioned indicated 
they would take advantage of reduced 



fares. Even this figure is ridiculous as 
an extensive lobbying campaign was 
under way at U of T to make sure of 
good voter turnout. (I imagine they lob- 
bied during the December holidays.) 

The TTC cannot be compared 
with Peterborough or Guelph's transit 
systems. Both cities' populations would 
probably comfortably fit in Hart House 
circle, with room for playgrounds and 
parks. The TTC must be compared to 
Chicago, Calgary or Baltimore. Two of 
those cities do not offer reduced fares 

CONTINUED ON PAGE 12 



the innis herald; november/december 1 994. 



I N N I S © 



More Student Loans 



by Sally Blake 



Lloyd Axworthy and Paul Martin 
are the federal bed-buddies of financial 
distress -- and now post-secondary fund- 
ing has become iheir dirty laundry. In 
last month's social policy reform paper, 
Axworthy turned his fiscal eye to the 
cost of subsidizing Canada's learned 
scholars. What he found was a $2 bil- 
lion escape route labelled STUDENT 
LOANS and not one effectual student 
lobby in sight. 

In the paper. Axworthy formu- 
lated a plan whereby students will be 
made responsible for the bulk of their 
tuition. Universities will no longer re- 
ceive 75% of Iheir operating costs from 
the government, but will instead raise 
tuitions to fi- 



government funding, the already bad 
conditions (overcrowded classrooms, 
inadequate library facilities and reduced 
faculty) will get worse. 

Granted. But is this the way? 
Lei's look at some of the ramifications 
Axworthy's proposals will cause if pul 
into effect. 

1) Students will have an in- 
creased debt burden. To many stu- 
dents the cost of going to school is al- 
ready crippling. Many have dropped 
down to part-time or quit school alto- 
gether because of this year's tuition in- 
creases. How many will be able to af- 
ford $8000 ayear in tuition? Even with 
loans, students from less-priviieged 



of obtaining a mortgage, car loan and 
other credit necessities will be reduced. 

2) Not all students will pay (he 
same for their education. Students 
entering professions with a lower earn- 
ing potential will end up paying more 
interest on their loans than those enter- 
ing higher-earning professions. Ac- 
cording to Axworthy's plan, loan pay- 
ments will be based on 3.5% of your tax- 
able income. Sticking to that system, 
students who earn less will take longer 
to pay back their loans, thus acquiring 
more interest along the way. It is not 
hard to imagine the effect this will have 
on subject popularity. Realizing the debt 
load will be significantly less if you are 




Our economy has plunged into a possi- 
bly lethal taiispin in the past five years. 
We are paying $49 million in interest 
on our debt annually; we have one of 
the highest unemployment rates in the 
modem Western world and the worst fi- 
nancial track record of all the G7 na- 
tions. Those fortunate enough to be in 
work are subject to roll-backs, salary 
freezes and cariy retirement packages. 
Half the country is talking about user 
fees for medicare and the other half is 
screaming welfare fraud. Putting it sim- 
ply, the government can't afford to keep 
us anymore. And without replacing lost 



families will find it difficult to make it 
through. Faced with massive debts af- 
ter graduation, those without guaranteed 
earning potential or wealthy family 
backgrounds might find university loo 
great an investment to make in their fu- 
ture. This will, in turn, exclude such stu- 
dents from upper-level employment, 
thus re-establishing the class-oriented 
division of labour. 

Marxist theories aside, when you 
accrue a massive debt-load it makes it 
almost impossible to obtain other loans. 
If a student becomes saddled with a 
$30,000-debt over 20 years, the chances 



a dentist and not a philosopher, many 
students will choose professional pro- 
grams over the liberal arts. Subjects 
like English, Philosophy and History 
will lose essential funding and fall into 
decay, thus producing market-oriented 
universities. 

3) Universities and colleges will 
have to find funding elsewhere. Faced 
with programming costs and no govern- 
ment bucks, institutions of higher learn- 
ing will have to turn to the private sec- 
tor. This is not in keeping with the Ca- 
nadian tradition of public education, a 
system we have built up over the past 



thirty years to keep universities and col- 
leges independent of private money. 
Wading into the corporate web of self- 
interest and profit-margins raises an 
abundance of ethical questions. Will the 
influence of private funding turn univer- 
sities into corporate training-camps? 
Will students end up at Del Monte U? 
Taco Bell College? Will the importance 
of liberal arts programs dwindle into 
academic obscurity, studied only by the 
aristocracy who have time and money 
to bum? How will it effect die type of 
research being conducted? In wake of 
the Concordia massacre where one un- 
der-publ ished professor went beserk and 
killed a number of his peers, academics 
across the 
country 
have begun 
to study this 
question in 
earnest. If a 
department 
depends on 
private 
grants to 
survive, 
professors 
are pres- 
sured to 
produce re- 
sults at 
break -neck 
speed. Not 
only does 
this effect 
the quality 
of work, it 
also dictates 
the type of 
work being 
done, often 
catering 
projects to 
market 
needs rather 
than aca- 
demic inter- 
est. 

In 

view of 
these ques- 
tions and ar- 
gu men ts, 

the pragmatism and sensibility of 
Axworthy's proposals begins to pale. 
Although government cutbacks look 
good on paper, will they look quite as 
good when reflected in a stratified, mar- 
ket-oriented generation of graduates? 
We need to examine the social implica- 
tions of private education and not focus 
solely on its economic advantages. By 
ignoring the relationship between edu- 
cation, die work force and social struc- 
turing, Canada loses it's entire identity 
as a welfare state. Without equity we 
have no social program - it's as simple 
as that. 



the innls herald: november/december 1 994. 



mU So d=dU S 



Sports Update 



by William O'Higgins, 
Co-Ed Athletic Rep. fCSS 

The Innis Intramural Volleyball 
Teams are playing their brains out, but 
just for fun, of course. 

The Co-Ed team has played 
nearly all of their regular season, and 
thanks to the regular efforts of several 
super-frosh they are three and two, and 
headed for the play-offs. In fine Innis 
tradition, the collateral sport of hacky- 
sack played by members of the bench is 
going strong, when they are not struck 
dumb by the brilliant piay of our fine 



players, with such stand-out moments 
of the off-the-face bump, and the mighty, 
spirited serves of our Spirit Challenge 
Rep. bouncing cheerily off the back wall 
of the far court. 

The Men's team has ju.st started 
its season, but is already looking like the 
best entertainment value since govern- 
ment-subsidized chemical experimenta- 
tion. After having their first game de- 
faulted to them, and losing their second 
narrowly, they have gelled as a team, and 
are playing the best game outside of 
Division I. At their last game they held 
off defaulting by playing with five on 



the court, before their knight in shining 
armour, the late but ever-cheerful. Deep 
Dillion, arrived. From that point on they 
were unstoppable, highlighted by thun- 
derous hits from back and front court 
by the President. Aaron Magney, and the 
amazing Super-Frosh Craig. The other 
team was also amazed by the magical 
sideways over-the-tape set, which NO 
ONE saw coming. 

Come on out to a game, to play, 
to cheer, to play hacky-sack, and then 
join us at the Wicket afterwards for a 
laugh and a brew. After all, it beats tiie 
snot out of studying. 



Innis Bits 



Free Tickets!!! 

The first 20 people to 
find the inscription 
written inside 
"The Eternal Champion" 
by Michael 
MOORCOCK (book 
could be found in the 
Herald office during 
office hours) gets a 
free pass to the 
Metropolitan Theatre! 



by Alan Wong 

Lots is happening lately at innis 
College to celebrate Innis' many mo- 
mentous events this year.. 

To kick things off. Innis Rez 
threw a party. October 23rd, for ail of 
its newly-moved-in residents. Music, 
bridge and chess tournaments, and lots 
of food and beer (paid for by the one 
dollar lockcd-my-key-in-my-room-and- 
I-want-a-don-to-open-my-door fee) 
were the order of the afternoon. The 
celebration ended off with an election 
for the Innis Rez Council (it also ended 
when all the pizza and beer were con- 
sumed). 

Innis Impressions 

by Charles Yung 

Being an oral account of the per- 
ceptions and reflections of a first year 
student upon completing two months of 
his university education 

My cousin told me not to worry 
about about which college I chose. Af- 
ter all. you usually don't spend a lot of 
time there anyway. The clubs of ail col- 
leges arc pretty much open to everyone. 
Registration, Irosh. and that's about ii. 

I think 1 chose Innis college al- 
most by instinct. The booklet [hey sent 
when they accepted us gave about a page 
on each college. Enough for a descrip- 
tion that sounds like a sales blurb. Bui 
the description of Innis was a little dif- 
ferent. Maybe it was just the emphasis 
they put on the writing programs at Innis 
(at the time, I was dead set on becom- 
ing a writer in the league of Atwood and 
Davies) 

And my impressions now? 
Small, but intimate. Not a lot of traffic 
or bustle. The low number of students 
means that there are no lineups at the 
registrars. The building is, unfortu- 
nately, very close to ugly, but the inte- 
rior is unintimidating, even comfortable. 
Fewer events and clubs, but that can be 
an advantage at times: Ihe're usually 
desperate for people. 

I have ended up spending a lot 
of time at Innis. talking and playing and 



This coming November 5th. 
Innis staff, alumni, students, residents- 
and friends will take part in the celebra- 
tion of the centenary of Harold Innis' 
(Harold Innis the economist, not Innis 
Herald the paper) birth, the 30th Anni- 
versary of the foundary of Innis College, 
and the official opening of Innis' first 
residence. There will be will be a re- 
ception and buffet at 7:30 pm.. and a 
cabaret staring Innis alumni from the 
'60s to '90s will follow. 

So far, Innis is by far the most 
successful residence on campus, with ail 
of its rooms filled (not common in many 
residences at U of T) and a waiting list 



of more than 500 students for its 339 
room St. George Street building. 

Why is Innis Rez so popular? 
Well, first of all it is new. No drafty 
windows or roaches or rodents to room 
with. Second of all it offers apartment- 
styled living, where four or five single 
bedrooms share a living room, kitchen, 
and two bathrooms. And Uiird, there is 
not a mandatory meal plan at Innis, al- 
though the food at the Innis Cafe is not 
at all bad. 

Rumour has it that Trinity Col- 
lege is thinking of renovating and con- 
verting (or perhaps demolishing) Dev- 
onshire House, which it owns, to apart- 



ment-style residences, similar to Innis 
due to the popularity of innis Rez. But 
this might not happen for quite some 
time. 

If this sounds all to perfect for 
you and you are interested in living here 
next year, a big GOOD LUCK fo you.' 
Most of the people currently living here 
will probably return next year and what- 
ever spaces are left will be divided 
among the professional faculty appli- 
cants, and on top of that a chunk of those 
spaces will go to first year students. 
With the word spreading around, there 
will definitely be a greater number of 
people applying for residence here. 



Innis College Semi-Formal Dinner & Dance 

Where: CasaLoma 

When : Saturday, January 28th 

Theme: 1890-1990's 

For more information please contact Kare and 
Kathy at the ICSS office. 



trying to study (wiihoui much succss). 
I think the biggest reason is the attitude 
The college itself has a policy that em- 
phasises equality, diversity, and my 
favorite, freedom of choice. The peo- 
ple, especally the I.C.S.S.. arc open and 
talkative. Most of all, they seem to see 
us new students as people, individuals 
who need personal guidance, attention, 
or just recognition. Personal attention 
seems scarce around here; student num- 
bers and thousand person classes give 
little in terms of individual treatment. 
If innis has anything going for it, the 
way in which they provide new students 
with a bit of personal contact is definetly 
it. In those first dizzying weeks, it 
makes quite a difference. 



Everything You Wanted To Know 
About Harold Innis (but were afraid 
to ask) 

bv one of our staff 

Harold Innis was bom a hundread years ago on November 5th, 1 894. 
He was an esteemed economist at the University of Toronto, best known in 
the field of Canadian economic history: 
The Fur Trade In Canada 

His best known works in the field of communications: 
Empire and communication 
The Bias of Communication 

"With imperfect competition between concepts, the University is essentially 
an ivory tower in which courage can be mustered to attack any concepts which 
threatens to become a monopoly" 

-Harold Innis, 1946 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



NEWS & COMMENTARY 



Noam Chomsky Speaks at U of T 

Provides Insight Into Current Peace Agreements And US Involvement In The Middle East 



By Scott Culley 

Noam Chomsky, noted linguist 
and controversial critic of the abuses of 
power and United State foreign policy, 
delivered two lectures al the University 
of Toronto early last week on Monday 
and Tuesday evenings. The Tuesday 
evening lecture. "The Middle East: 
Prospects for Peace and Justice"", fo- 
cused largely on the current Israeli-Pal- 
estinian issue, and the United States' in- 
volvement in Middle East affairs. 
Chomsky gave a general insight as to 
what he believes is truly taking place in 
this region of the world, and anyone 
with a limited knowledge of Middle 
East history and current events would 
have likely had a difficult lime follow- 
ing Chomsky, as he delivered an ex- 
tremely well-documented lecture that 
lasted approximately one hour. 

Following Ihc lecture, Chomsky 
responded to various questions from the 
audience, periodically exhorting people 
whom he perceived were not listening 
to what he had said, or were not think- 
ing things through to their logical con- 
clusions. The lecture was full of 
information, and the questions were 
(horough/y answered by Chomsky, as 
he held the interest of a packed Convo- 
cation Hall for more than two-and-a- 
half hours. 

In the lecture. Chomsky, who is 
known for his thorough research, dis- 
cussed various issues related to the Mid- 
dle East, including: the Gulf War, the 
current Arab-Israeli peace negotiations, 
the fate of the Palestinians, and the 
dominant role of the United States in 
mid-east affairs. The most current of 
these issues are the peace agreements 
between Israel and the Palestinian Lib- 
eration Organization (PLO), and Israel 
and Jordan, both of which have been 
helped along by the United States. 

The Israeli-Palestinian issue is 
not a simple one; watching the evening 
news will not likely give you a clear pic- 
ture, or an accurate one, according to 



Chomsky, as to what is currently tak- 
ing place in the Middle East. In order 
to understand Chomsky's view of the 
present Middle East issues, it is neces- 
sary to take a look at the history of how 
the current agreements came into being. 

In 1 967, during what is called the 
Six Day War. Israel took control of sev- 
eral sections of land that belonged to 
various Arab states including Egypt, 
Jordan. Syria, and all of what was at the 
time called Palestine. Chomsky noted 
that at this time the United Nations 
passed a resolution (UN 242), which 
"called for full peace between Israel and 
the Arab states in return for full with- 
drawal from Ihc occupied territories; 
full withdrawal meant that there might 
be minor, and indeed mutual adjust- 
ments on the former border .... The 
United Slates not only accepted [UN 
2421. bui insisted on thai interpretation. "" 
He continued, that "at the time Israel 
refused withdrawal and the Arabs re- 
fused full peace. . . . that impasse was 
broken in February 1971. At that time 
President Sadat of Egypt agreed to the 
official American policy. He offered Is- 
rael a full peace treaty ... in terms of 
UN 242, in return for full withdrawal, 
and only withdrawal from [the] Sinai 
[Peninsula)." 

Chomsky says that at this lime, 
the United States changed its policy of 
favouring UN 242, and declared a new 
policy of "no negotiations". He says 
that "at that point the United States 
joined Israel in opposition to UN 242." 

By the middle of the 1970's the 
international community began to fa- 
vour a two-state settlement, which 
would include the Palestinians, who had 
no rights under UN 242. A resolution 
regarding that consensus was intro- 
duced in 1976, but as Chomsky re- 
vealed, the US vetoed that resolution, 
as it did again in 1980. The United 
States also blocked similar resolutions 
each year up until 1990, just before the 
Gulf War. 

"The final settlement." 



Chomsky said, "is to be based solely 
on UN 242, meaning no recognition of 
Palestinian national rights. Further- 
more, as Israel and the United States 
have made clear and explicit, any with- 
drawal that takes place will be partial, 
[and] as they determine." 

Chomsky states that Israel will 
retain effective control over the Pales- 
tinian territories, including resources, 
the Jordan valley, a third of the Gaza 
Strip, and greater Jerusalem, which 
splits the West Bank into two sectors. 
Also, an access corridor from Israel to 
Jordan, which is to be settled completely 
by Israelis, splits the West Bank even 
further. Chomsky also revealed that Is- 
rael could take over Ihc whole of the 
Palestinian icrriiories it ihcy wanted to, 
without violating ihc agreement, but it 
would seem that ihcir current method 
of dividing the territories, confiscating 
Palestinian lands and moving in settlers, 
will be more effective in accomplish- 
ing their goals. Chomsky says that be- 
cause of the final agreement. Israel will 
be relieved of the need to adminisier the 
Palestinian territories, the Palestinians 
will remain a pool of cheap labour for 
Israel, and meaningful development in 
the Palestinian territories will be un- 
likely because Israel's policy is that 
there Is to be "complementary develop- 
ment not competitive development." 

The general thinking behind 
what is happening, is that the Palestin- 
ians will be politically isolated from the 
rest of the world, and most importantly 
for Israel, from the other Arabs states, 
which al one time may have supported 
an independent Palestine. Chomsky 
concludes that "if the Palestinian issue 
can be swept under the rug . . . then the 
tacit relations among the major coun- 
tries [in the Middle East) can be brought 
to the surface, with Israel becoming a 
technological, and industrial, and finan- 
cial, and military centre, and, of course, 
retaining its military predominance", 
largely supported and financed by the 
US. Chomsky believes that the money 



that the US is pouring into Israel is di- 
rected towards the subjugation of the 
Palestinians because they are seen as a 
nuisance, and as a disruptive force in the 
Middle East. He also said lhat the entire 
"peace process" is an attempt by the US 
to eliminate the Palestinian issue from 
the Middle East and to further guide the 
economic and political direction of the 
region. 

At the end of the lecture Chomsky 
said the following: "The arrangements 
thai are now unfolding are degrading and 
shameful, but no more so than the rather 
similar patterns that are being instituted 
throughout much of the world, as the real 
western ideals, not those of the fairy tales, 
have overcome many popular barriers to 
their realization. Some have progressed 
more than others in turning into human 
dust the wastes of sociciy. the fate pre- 
dicted for the Palestinians in 1948. but 
that is the direction in which much of the 
world is going, and will go if the mas- 
ters are permitted to design a world or- 
der in which [quoting George Bush] 
"what we say goes.'" 

If, as Chomsky believes, the 
United States is undermining true peace- 
ful settlements, and presenting a "peace 
process" thai fulfills its own interests, 
then it may be interesting to see how 
much the United States becomes in- 
volved in peace negotiations throughout 
the world within the next few years. Just 
a few weeks ago, there were reports in 
the news of US involvement in the pos- 
sible negotiations between the IRA and 
Britain. After listening to what Chomsky 
has to say, one might consider that maybe 
this is the United States' future role in 
the world, that of the great "peacemaker", 
who is really promoting peace for its own 
gains, because control by force is just not 
as popular as it used to be. Obviously, 
control by peaceable means is much less 
noticeable, or disturbing, to the general 
population than control by force, espe- 
cially when most people think that true 
peaceful agreements are taking place. 
Commeiils and criticism welcomed. 



whatsoever. The economic reality is that 
the TTC relies 68% on self-generated 
revenues (fares, advertising on TTC 
property, leases and charter services) the 
balance coming from Metro and Provin- 
cial coffers. In order to offer post-sec- 
ondary students a cut-rale Melropass. 
the TI C would lose $2 million a year, 
leaving the University and College 
branch to make up the shortfall. Real 
life, it appears, is not a bowl of cherries. 

If, indeed, the TTC has a "shit- 
shovelling" history it can only be from 
attempts by those diligent coffee-break 
shirkers who are building the Spadlna 
Rapid Transit line and who constantly 
shovel up student excrement left behind 
on the way home from over-refreshed 
events at the Sticky Wicket. And the 
efforts of the sympathetic councillor 
whose name escpaes me but sounds 
much like an cater of pitted Martini gar- 
nishes, would be best directed else- 
where. 



If one were to cut back on two 
pints of hops weekly. TfC fares would 
even be within reach of the most Impov- 
erished academic. But I understand 
from my sources that would be a mis- 
appropriation of OSAP funds. 

They young Camay is a llulc 
fruity but only costs $6.95 a bottle. Al- 
though I am starting a lobby group to 
arrange student discounts at the LCBO. 
If you wish to march on the Queen's 
Quay liquor store please forward a let- 
ter and a photograph of yourself in a 
compromising position to me, care of 
the Jnnis Herald. 

Lastly, purely for Infomiational 
purposes. I have never worked for the 
TTC. have no relatives in it and rarely 
ride the big red machine. In one lucid 
moment I believe I applied to operate 
the Queen nightcar, but I recall the 
brown uniforms were too prickly for my 
delicate skin. Mind the doors! 



Walksafer Service 
Sludeni Patrol and Escort 



978-7233 
(SAFE) 



U ol T Police Information 978-2323 

U ol T Police Emergency 978-2222 

Melfo Police Emergency 911 

Assaulled Women's Helpline 863-0511 

Victim Assistance Program 
for Lesbian S Gay Victims 

ol Violence 392-6874 

Women's College Hospital 

Sexual Assault Care Centre 323-6040 

Metro Police Sexual 

Assault Squad 324-6060 

Feedback and questions may be directed 
10 University ol Toronio Police 
561 Spadlna Avenue 
Toronio, Ontario M5S 2H3. 




the innis heraW: november/december 1994. 



RECORDS & REVIEWS 



Bev and Steph of 
TRANCENDANCE present 
THE LIVING ROOM 



9 p.m. - 5 a.m. 
Thursday, October 20th, 1994 

After two years of raving, 
Bev and Steph decided to get in- 
volved in the scene by co-founding 
TRANCENDANCE. Inspired by a 
trip 10 England, they brought some 
ideas back and along with the intent 
10 keep their parties relatively small 
and underground, they successfully 
put on the 3rd Canadian All-Am- 
bient-Night which happened on 
Thursday. October 20lh at Univer- 
sity College's Junior Common 
Room called The Living Room. 
The unique location and beautiful 
music set just the right tone for the 
night. Just after midnight, the pace 
of the music started to pick up, and 
all those who had been lounging on 
the couches came out of the shad- 
ows, filled the empty dance floor. 



by Ravin' C. 

and started freaking out. People kept 
on pouring in throughout the night 
and there was never a dull moment. 
On one half of the wall there was a 
variety of tllm loops, and nn the other 
side, silent classic films such as The 
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. and 
Nosferatu were shown while colour- 
ful lights danced around them, I 
think it was safe to say that fun was 
had by all. Bev and Stcph's next 
event is coming up on Friday, No- 
vember 4th when they present a night 
of acid house, acid trance and acid 
jazz with a way-cool lineup of DJs 
plus live musicians! Look for the 
bright orange flyers or call 921 -7452. 
It's gonna be well wicked (you suck 
if you don't come!). 



treble charger with hayden 

October 10th ... horseshoe tavern 



by Rob Barber 

The Horseshoe, to my surprise, 
was packed for a Tuesday night, no 
doubt due to the free admission and the 
fact that new local heroes Treble 
Charger (Ex NC- 1 7) were playing with 
Hayden. 

Prior to the headliners taking the 
stage, Hayden performed an inspired set 
(coffee-house folk music with edge) to 
an uninspired room. Despite Hayden 's 
effort and ability, the crowd — consist- 
ing primarily of university students in 
varying modes of dress — were igno- 
ranily disinterested. During a great ren- 
dition of "Take" (the song appearing on 
last year's CFNY Discovery to Disc CD) 
people couldn't help but fall drunkenly 
off tables. It happened. 

The crowd picked themselves up 
as soon as Treble Charger look the stage, 
bringing with them a super-energized, 
albeit short, set of guitar-driven melodic 
allemarock. Their music sounded very 
much like many bands who have 
emerged from the very cool east-coast 
music scene (read: Sloan. Eric's TVip. 
Jate, etc.). Even so, the band has Im- 



proved upon their stage presentation 
immensely. I saw them once before, 
opening for another act about a year ago. 
Much of the credit to their improved 
sound should be given to the band's top- 
notch sound lech, now an integral part 
of their show. This in no way is meant 
to belittle the group's superb technical 
ability. 

But getting back to the sound tech 
for a second. The guy did an impressive 
job with intensity changes. And God 
knows, I'm an absolute sucker for a 
good passive-to-aggressive intensity 
change. 

Alas, the show was not long 
(about 45 minutes). The band left the 
stage soon after playing "Reed", a song 
currently featured on the current CFNY 
New Music disc. Treble Charger did a 
very capable job of justifying their cur- 
rent industry status as a potential next 
BIG THING. Who knows - if they do 
cop the 100 G's offered in the CFNY 
discovery contest, they'll be able to af- 
ford that PA, as well as deserve the ac- 
colades that go with it. 



KILLJOYS WllH 
PUNCH BUGGY 

Horseshoe l^vern, October 18th 

by Rob Barber 

The opening band tonight was 
Punchbuggy, hand-picked by headlin- 
ers the Killjoys. Unfortunately, I missed 
the majority of their set (something to 
do with an exam), but what i did see was 
some competent, peppy, up-tempo rock, 
reminiscent of the Doughboys. In fact, 
the drummer looked like one of the 
Doughboys (dreadlocks and all). Their 
set went so far as to include a well-done 
remake of Men At Work's "Who Can 
It Be Now?". 

Later on the Killjoys, who 
brought a loyal following from Hamil- 
ton, (I'd hate to be a Go Bus-driver to- 
night) showed their newly-shot video of 
'*Today 1 Hate Everybody". And af- 
ter a few technical difficulties were over- 
come, we were treated to what amounted 
to a pretty cool video. Then the show 
started. 

Okay, the Killjoys' sound: im- 
agine the Lemonheads with a healthy 
injection of testosterone. They are loud, 
brash and like to play POWER 
CHORDS! 

The problem with the Killjoys is 
that they suffer from an annoying musi- 
cal illness known as "samesongitis" - 
if you hear the first three songs of their 
set. you've heard them all. The songs 
are based primarily on the same chords 
and structure, and consequently tend to 
sound alike. However, there were a cou- 
ple that stood out: one is the aforemen- 
tioned video tune: the other was 
"Dana", currently found on the CFNY 
New Music disc. 

As I sit here at the bar I can hear 
the grumbling of my stomach accom- 
panying the band. It's telling me the 
sound of a pizza cutler going through a 
pie at Cora's sounds damn good... I'm 
outta here. 



ARTIS, CONSOLIDATED, AND 
MC 900 ft JESUS 
OPERA HOUSE 



by Julia Burton 

When Artis said that music was his 
first language, he wasn't kidding. Spoons 
may seem like an odd instrument of 
choice, but in Artis' hands they are keys 
to an amazing rhythmical universe. 
Hitting every part of his body, he really 
made those spoons sing. His unique 
talent doesn't stop there. Artis also sang 
poetry pieces and then blessed us with a 
duel flute piece, during which he played 
simultaneously out of his mouth and 
nose! An attentive audience sat on the 
cement floor of the Opera House. When 
Artis finished sharing his individuality 
with us, there was a thunderous applause. 
The crowd even sang "Happy Birthday" 
to him with members of the next two 
bands. I couldn't believe tlie guy was 46 
years old but at least there are cool old 
people out there. 

Before Consolidated began their 
set, all their T-shirt-sporting fans moved 
closer to the stage. They didn't move up 
to mosh, because before they started the 
band told everyone to be respectful of 
each other's space - no moshing! I 
figured in Toronto this might be redun- 
dant. So many audiences here are so 
unwilling to dance or mosh or show 
much outward interest at all. Anyway 
Consolidated was politically aware and 
expressed their strong opinions with very 
direct lyrics, wicked thumping grooves, 
and graphic videos. It's a shame I had 
trouble hearing the words, but the 
footage shown of guns and men ejaculat- 
ing or animal vivisection and slaughter 
definitely assisted me with the intended 
meanings of the songs. After an hour of 
listening and watching very heavy issues. 



I felt totally drained. I was relieved to 
have the quieter question-and-answer 
session that followed the musical 
assault. Intelligence was all around 
(excepting some oafs hooting in the 
back) and there was an excellent debate 
over animal testing ethics vs. human 
benefit. The band argued and defended 
their views well. They are big-time 
vegans! I figured it must be quite a job 
to slay so politically righteous, espe- 
cially since they did gel signed to a 
major label recently, and they were 
accused of hypocrisy because of it. Oh. 
well. Welcome to life. Consolidated 
seemed to have irritated some of those 
people in the back, but they definitely 
managed to educate and entertain me. 

MC 900 ft Jesus was the reason I 
bought my ticket. The song "The City 
Sleeps" gives me goosebumps. The 
ambience of this set was entirely 
different from the rest of the evening. 
Mark Griffin is a strange poet and the 
music swayed from jazz improv to 
funky hip-hop record -scratching. The 
band sounded great and it included two 
real-live-genuine non-syntho drummers 
and a sexy bassist with a wild hairdo. 
For most of the set, ! found myself 
drawn into the odd stories Griffith told 
in a Beastie Boys/Tom Waits kinda way. 
My mind would just drift off with the 
music. As far as I know, my Red Baron 
only consisted of beer, so I guess MC 
900 ft Jesus succeeded in sucking me in 
to their alternate reality. 

I feel lucky. I got to dance, listen 
to intelligent arguments, space out, sing 
happy birthday, and drink beer. A good 



O 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



RECORDS & REVIEWS 



RAVE 101: REPORT 



By Hubert & Borphan 

For those who caught our last 
article about RAVE, we would like to 
give you our impressions on the last 
two RAVES that we went to. 

The first of the two was "Ren- 
egades" which was run by Syrous in 
conjunction with Pleasure Force. 
From what we can remember. Syrou.'i 
started out at ihc end of 1 993 summer 
(?) and has up to this date produced 
some ofToronlo's finest hardcore 
parties such as "Judgement Day", 
and the October 8th party ("Ren- 
egades"). Almost as a giant monolith 
falling from the sky. the location was 
more than simply spacious, as it held 
upwards of 3,5(X) (hippies, ravers, 
skaters and anyone else who attended 
and we haven't mentioned), all 
dancing to the furious magical (mysti- 
cal) influences that were being spun 
by Darren Jay, Slipmaster J, Sniper. 
Kenny Ken, and Jumpin' Jack 
Frost, along with other fine young 
dreamweavers, either homegrown 
Canadian or shipped in from tlie U.K. 

By the end of this wonderful 
night (around six o'clock in (he 
moming) our bodies were stripped of 
almost all moisture. Upon leaving 
"Renegades" , we were witness to the 
many puddles of human sweat which 
covered most, if not all, of the floor. 

Our next RAVE attendance was 



"The Erotic Prophecy" which was 
run by Delirium. A message for all 
you ravers from Pickering: STOP 
BUYING ALL THAT PHUCT 
CARDBOARD! IT'S NOT GOOD 
FOR YOU! And stop buying it from 
Leon. And for all you Commerce (and 
others who enjoy Calculus) ravers 
when dealing with Natural Loga- 
rithms: DROP THEE! Delirium was 
a good party (or yum-yum dim sum as 
Nara would say). Wc especially 
remember the vicious trax spun by 
T.O.'s finest: Sniper. Mystical 
Influence, Jungle Ph.D. . Medicine 
Muffin (to name a few), and featuring 
Nicky Blackmarket, one of the 
U.K.'s best hardcore deejays. While 
not as big as Syrous. Delirium still 
delivered a good time. 

Let us not forget Destiny 6 
which took place on October 1st. 
Unfortunately wc could not attend. 




NEV AND U5ED 

A Monthly Review of New and Not-So-New CDs By Damien Boyes 



DISCLAIMER: Let me preface 
this by saying thai as a music critic, I 
suck. I like what I like — no more. I'm 
not going to give extensive explanations 
of every track and the overall musical 
style as compared to the golden age of 
whatever it is I'm reviewing. This is my 
own personal opinion and the Herald 
will noi lake responsibility for anything 
I have to say. unless they want to. TItank 
you. 

BONEY M. 
BoneyM.Gold 1992 

The only positive things that I 
remember about our old eight-track 
are the Muppet's concert album 
(especially "Gonzo Eats a Tire To the 
Tune of Flight of the Bumble Bee") 
and Boney M. It was the early "SOs, 
and Battle Star Calaciica was one of 
my favourite shows. Now on this 
Boney M. album diere is this song 
called "Night Fligtii to Venus" that has 
what sounds like a Cylon (those evil 
robot guys) on it and 1 loved it. When 
I saw this CD for sale I snatched it up 
immediately and went home and 
revelled in the '70s disco tunes that 
emanated from my stereo. Classics 
like "Rasputin", "Ma' Baker" and, 
yes, "Night Flight To Venus". This is a 
great recording for anyone longing for 
the late-'70s. I definitely recommend it. 

R.E.M. 
Monster 1994 

You have heard all there is to 
hear about this CD. U is a reversion to 
a style more reminiscent of their 




King Cobb Steelie 



earlier albums. Michael Stipe is at his 
unintelligible best once again. It's 
much more light-hearted and " poppy". 
I can't offer you any more additional 
information except that there is this 
guitar-echo effect that is used almost 
continuously throughout the album. 
You've heard it on "What's the 
Frequency, Kenneth?", and it's on 
75% of the songs; after a while it 
becomes annoying. 



LOVE AND ROCKETS 
HOT TRIP TO HEAVEN 

It has been five long years since 
Love and Rockets' last release and 
boy have they changed. During these 
past years they have pursued solo 
projects and obviously have been 
influenced by a lot of different styles. 
In a recent interview at CFNY, Daniel 
Ash cited bands such as The Orb and 
Primal Scream as sources of inspira- 
tion. Ash's haunting and soaring 
vocals makes for songs free in spirit as 
the titles "TVip and Glide". "No 
Worries" and "Set Me Free" suggest. 
I find it quite refreshing to hear the 
music of one band evolve so much 
over the years. If you are still into the 
old-school Love and Rockets sound, 
perhaps you will not like this new one, 
but if you are ready to be pleasantly 
surprised by this new and experimental 
sound, go lor it - it's a good buy. It's 
not good ... it's grrnrcat! 

Caroline 



KING COBB STEELIE 
PROJECT TWINKLE 
(lunamoth) 

The new King Cobb Steelie 

disc was a personally well-awaited 
gift. If you have ever seen them live 
you know what I mean. 

TTie new album maintains the 
combination of wicked funk, rock, and 
hip-hop samples. The lead track 
"Skimp" proves a great example of 
the band's diversity. King Cobb even 
goes so far as to bring in a horn 
section on the long-winded, but utterly 
cool "80% Knockout". 

This, the second album from the 
Guelph-based quintet. Is a bit different 
from their self-titled debut. Quite a 
few of the songs are in the eight to 10- 
minute range, most of them appearing 
on Side II of the album. This may 
alienate some people who are used to 
ihe standard radio-length tune, but to 
King Cobb Steelie fans it means don't 
butt out that joint - it's gotta last a 
very trippy eight-to-IO minutes. 

Rob Barber 



DINOSAUR JR. 
WITHOUT A SOUND 
(Warner) 

Once again. J Mascis has shown 
why he is considered one of the most 
influential songwriters of the alterna- 
tive genre. Without a Sound is a solid 
collection of what Dinosaur fans have 
come to expect from their previous 
work. ..with some variations. There 
are the usual rockers like "Feel the 
Pain" and *'I Don't Think So", but 
the album is quieter, more melodic 
and contains no less than three 
ballads! The most notable of these is 
"Seemed Like the Thing To Do". 

As usual, Mascis plays all 
instruments, with the exception of 
bass guitar, which is played by Mike 
Johnson. On most tracks Johnson 
doesn't seem to exist, which is the 
album's only flaw; he is constantly 
being drowned out by guitar over-dubs 
and pounding drums. Dinosaur fans, 
as well as those who enjoy good ~ no, 
make that exceptional - alternative 
rock, will like this album. 

Rob Barber 




the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



RECORDS & REVIEWS 



NIFX For Vegans 




by Noanii Freeman 

Can you have punk rock without a con- 
text or a system of values for it, however 
fluid their form is? This is a qucsiion that 
resonates each time a new jewc! case is 
snapped shut and each time a DiY band 
dives from ihcir reservoir of sincerity into 
a puddle of Punk with a capital "profit". 

This punk is a slippery fish to catch, 
and when you have, do you cat it or do you 
throw it back? 

NOFX aren't making any promises 
either way with regards to integrity, but their 
dcad-on lyrics and calibrated music is keep- 
ing their place for now. . , 

1 he bonus is that mam-man Mikt is 

keeping the viny! alive with a new NOFX 
3-song 1 2" on his label Fat Wreck Chords, 
possibly in January, which will feature " We 
Ain't Sbit" and an as-yct-unnamcd song 
that didn't make it on to Punk In Dmblic. 
plus a disco remix. And he persuaded SnufT 
to reform for him. 

So what Mike consider:s punk ";ig- 
gressive music without a lot ol bullshi("and 
he thinks it's punk that bands arc signing 
who arc not really professional musicians, 
but having fun ;ind playing because they 



love it. 

Fucking fucked-up shit up does 
amount to sincerity, but 1 think thai shit 
is fucked up. My definition of "punk" 
does not include Warner! NOFX make 
big bones about keeping their major-la- 
bel options open and not saying other- 
wise because it'd be considered hypo- 
critical; the problem with Fat is that 
records sell between 20,000 - 40,000 
copies, but they don't get radio or TV 
airtime. 1 think they like pissing me off. 

NOFX come to A-fCA Concerts' 
RPM show with Face To Face and Ten 
Foot Pole (X-Scared Straight) and will 
be bringing wiih them a one-hour NOFX 
Fat video of mostly live anO interview 
footage since 1985, plus the four videos 
of their 10-ycar career. 

NOFX would not go death-metal if 
Sony offered them lots of cash. "We 
wouldn't do anything for cash 'cause 
we're makin' lots of cash already." 
Again, that punk is a slippcr>' fish to catch 
and one must realize the fish can survive 
only so long above the surl acc of the lake, 
and no matter how good a half-calen fish 
may taste, it's dead, dammiL 



XXX 

PJ 

Pi 

Q 

o 

CD 




Dave Smalley/Down By Law at theRivoli 
Saturday, October 22nd,I994 



Hotline 
Benefit 
Show 

Support Your 
Scene I 
Thanks Daraghl 



Saturday, November 12th 
7:30 p.m. 
VegaiWegetarian Pot-Luck 
means bring some num-nums! 
SHOTMAKER 

MINNOW 
CANDYWHEEL 

& movies 
Classic Studio $5 
12A Ossington at Queen 



Craig Mac k 
Project : Funk 
Da World LP 
(Bad Boy) 

Craig Mack suffers from two 
things: Weird-Face syndrome and 
Huge Hit-Single syndrome. 

The first disorder is of no 
relevance at all. The second is what 
causes Project: Funk Da World to 
come off as a let-down. "Flava In Ya 
Ear Mack's single, rocks. The first 
big rap hit since Warren G's "Regu- 
late", it brings the no-worry, good- 
time feeling back lo a scene tilled with 
shitty G-funk and played-out Old 
Skool. "Flava In Ya Ear" is so good, in 
fact, the album has already sold lots of 
copies on the strength of it. It's almost 
a bum on everyone who bought it. 
since some of the album ain't so good. 

It's like this: the best tracks all 
sound like "Flava In Ya Ear and the 
other tracks all sound like bad remixes 
of "'Flava In Ya Ear". But y'know, 
"Flava In Ya Ear" is so good, the other 
songs aren't that bad at all. If variety's 
yer thing, this album isn't for you. 
Keep in mind though, that variety 
destroyed the Goats, and wounded De 
La Soul and Beastie Boys. Mack uses 
a cool sample of tlic "Days of Our 
Lives" theme, and throws in some 
EPMD and Stetsasonic for good 
measure. If this was M.E.A.T. maga- 
zine, and Mack was some rocker, his 
album would get the "Great for a 
party"-raling. The album bounces, no 
doubt, but to the same rhythm and 
pace. 

Rob Judges 




(Dysgusher) 

Ragingly powerful straightedge 
hardcore here. In the spirit of previ- 
ous New York bands like Life's Blood 
and Youth of Today, but verging from 
the straight he root with a brutal grind 
influence. Monster X come up with a 
potent blend of rabid power thrash, 
widi speed and intensity lo spare. All 
the while, inhuman vocalist John X 
vomits forth strong lyrics decrying 
overpopulation, the assault on repro- 
ductive rights, and. simultaneously, 
the war on drugs and the idiocy of the 
drug culture. Fuck shitty "alternative" 
college rock a la Bad Religion and 
Green Day; this is Die Hard Core for 
1994. 

Mordcchai Ondaatjc 



Free Monster X 7" goes to 
the first two people who call 
Noami at SI6-2292 and an- 
swers the question: Do you 
touch the black? 




HARDCORE 
RECORD 
SWAP 

Symptom Hall 

(160 Claremont) 

$1 admission 
Bring your 

records, tapes, 
T-shirts, etc.! 
12:00-6:00 
Saturday, 

November 19th 



J only thing hpunkier 

After the War Started 7" 
(Overthrow Records) 

Japan's race to achieve world 
hardcore supremacy takes yet another 
giant step forward with this superla- 
tive slab of pure crusty noise. Al- 
though far from ground-breaking in 
concept, this particular Dis-clonc 
outfit surges ahead of the pack with 
seven thunderous salvos of intensity 
equalled by very few acts of this 
decade. Wliat really makes Disclose 
maim so is the ridiculously-high 
distortion levels employed, resulting 
in a guitar sound thai crosses the pain 
threshold, combined with primitive 
bludgeoning rhythms and relentless 
roaring vocals. This makes this an 
essential record for anyone into savage 
foreign hardcore. 

Farley Bissoondath 



the innis herald: november/december 1 994. 



FILM & MOVIE REVIEWS 



FULL SCREEN 



by Linda Calvin 



FULL SCREEN: Coalition of 
Film and Video makers of Colour and 
Aboriginal People 

Recently {Oct 20-23) FULL 
SCREEN presented a conference, 
called MEDIA COLOURS, which 
addressed critical media issues facing 
Aboriginal and People of Colour. Al- 
though MEDIA COLOURS focused 
on the many problems, such as cast- 
ing, producing and the main underlin- 
ing structures which limit the possi- 
bilities of film- and video-makers who 
are of "non-while" background, it also 
brought forth these same issues in re- 
spect of both women and disabled peo- 
ple in the industry. MEDIA COL- 
OURS was a scries of workshops, 
screenings, and panel discussions, of 
which the third aspect was of most 
interest to myself. In total the confer- 
ence's primary objective was directed 
towards networking by encouraging a 
support system whereby information- 
gathering and sharing is possible. 
"Casting Blues" Panel 

The first panel discussion in- 
volved the idea of accessibility to em- 
ployment within an industry that has 



constructed the role according to under- 
lying assumptions which are generally 
unchallenged. One member of the panel 
explained how she/he looked forward 
to seeing more people of colour in film, 
citing an example that there should be 
more stories which deal with "a family 
who must deal with the fact that their 
son was just shot in the back of the 
head". Personally. I agree with another 
panelist, Sandi Ross {of ACTRA) who 
stated that she was not interested in any 
more of these types of stories. The prob- 
lem with the remark of the first panelist 
is twofold. First, and most obvious, is 
that the idea of the story is a stereotypi- 
cal assumption for the role of a person 
of colour. Second, and more significant, 
to the aims of the conference is the fact 
that the person who put fonh the story 
idea was totally oblivious to her/his er- 
ror. The point is is that when an actor 
goes to an audition for a role, the way 
she/he should act should not be pre-de- 
termined according to any stereotypes 
of her/his ethnic background. For ex- 
ample, not all East Indians have accents 
as one member of die audience pointed 
out. 

The keynote speaker. Anthony 
Sherwood {Street Legal) pointed out that 



a non-white actor, in addition to possess- 
ing a dedicated commitment to their 
craft by going to many auditions, etc., 
she/he must be a social activist by work- 
ing within organizations that are spe- 
cifically designed to promote positive 
images of people of colour and Aborigi- 
nal people. Historically speaking, dur- 
ing the mid-seventies people of colour 
were not permitted to act in commercials 
since the industry officials were "afraid 
of how products would sell". Any cast- 
ing agents who attempted to defy this 
system of logic were blacklisted. In ad- 
dition, there was a central concern about 
the fact that people of colour are usu- 
ally represented in situation comedies, 
as opposed to dramatic stories. A pri- 
mary suggestion which came from the 
panel was the need to be visible — to 
make an impact on the major organiza- 
tions (OFDC. LIFT, CBC) which arc 
available since it is these very structures 
which are inherently discriminating. 
"Changing the Face of the Media" 
Panel 

The second panel discussion fo- 
cused on broader issues including the 
need for organizations, such as The 
Black Film & Video Network, to in- 
crease productions by, and about, peo- 



ple of Colour and Aboriginal people. 
The concept of increasing production 
extended to the need for networking 
with other similar organizations, pro- 
fessional development (i.e.. acting 
training), and continuous lobbying of 
the press and funding organizations 
(i.e.. Telefilm. OFDC). Social activ- 
ity by such groups as The Black Film 
& Video Network, and the first con- 
ference (which spawned FULL 
SCREEN SHOOTING THE SYS- 
TEM), were responsible for the de- 
velopment of specifically-designed 
funding bodies, including the Racial 
Equity Fund. As a result of the po- 
litical activism, there has been some 
relief from what a panelist called the 
"cinema of representation", which in- 
volves films centred around race. 
Now the objective is to represent peo- 
ple of Colour and Aboriginal people 
in films which focus on general hu- 
man stories which are not a rcfiection 
of underlying stereotypes. In addi- 
tion, there is a necessity for critical 
writing on the films that are being pro- 
duced so that they can be both pro- 
moted and challenged as worthy 
works of art. 



FILM RATINGS 




OVER 1,000,000 MOVIE POSTERS 

* OVER 100,000 MOVIE STAR PHOTOS 
ROCK AND SPORTS POSTERS AND FRAMING 

NOSTALGIC - CURRENT 

MOVIE POSTER WAREHOUSE 

335 LESMILL RD . (DON 
(416) 391-0133 



by Unknown 

1 Like it Like That. Darnell Mar- 
lin's (a first-time director) poignant 
Bronx tale encompasses issues of sexu- 
ality, family and marriage within a 
Latino family setting. The Latin music 
combined with the editing makes one 
feel they are watching a video at mo- 
ments, but the strength of the characters 
and the solid backdrop of the city makes 
this film fulfilling to watch. 

Natural Born Killers: Micky and 
Mallory go on a killing spree across 
America, but the real villains are the me- 
dia who create heroes out of these two 
miscreants. Oliver Stone (and Quentin 
Tarantino as writer) lays out media vio- 
lence without excusing anyone as vic- 
tim, and explodes the screen with 
graphic images of wild vehemence. 
Definitely see it. 



The River Wild: I never knew 
river-rafting could be so dull. Meryl 
Strcep (Gail) as the embodiment of 
power d(x:s not save this impotent group 
of men from fioating down current. 

The Shawshank Redemption: 
It's a film worth seeing, but let's not get 
too excited over a film that reveals its 
plot in the advertisements for ii. If you 
like the dreamy-eyed Tim Robbins 
(Andy Defresnc) who plays an unjustly 
convicted killer incarcerated for twenty 
years then you will not be disappointed. 
Everything in this film is both predict- 



able and unexciting, but it's glossy Hol- 
lywood style saves it. 

Speed: Exciting -- but too much 
hype over it. 

Trial By Jury: There is a signifi- 
cant rule of thumb in scriptwriting. even 
if a character, or her/his situation is bor- 
ing you do not write it like that. The 
depiction of bureaucracy in this film 
loses sight of what should be most in- 
teresting, and that is the plight of the 
woman juror who is being manipulated 
by all of the male characters. 

Wes Craven's New Nightmare: 
Any Freddy Krueger fans will be disap- 
pointed by this shallow examination of 
reality versus unreality story. This film 
is more interesting if viewed from the 
perspective of a writer's difficulty in 
completing a script. Freddy is dead and 
this is a feeble attempt to resuscitate 
box-office receipts. 

Whale Music: Maury Chuykin 
gives a well-rounded performance given 
the best lines of dialogue, although the 
character of Claire (Cyndy Preston) is 
under-written, and suffers as a result of 
this weakness. The story revolves 
around a once popular rock star, now in 
hiding from a nasty wife, a manager, and 
memories of his dead brother, who is in 
the process of creating a symphony for 
whales. The symbolism is a bit thick, 
but the dialogue is great. This is a Ca- 
nadian film well worth checking out. 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 




FILM & MOVIE REVIEWS 



Clerks: A conveniently refreshing movie 



by Linda Galvin 

Clerks is a raw comedic romp 
through a convenience store, an cnviron- 
nieni well-known lo everyone. Accus- 
tomed lo classiciil Hollywood, a viewer 
cxpccis that something serious will hap- 
pen, such as a robbery, instead Clerks is 
simply, but not merely, a day in the life 
of Iwo clerks. Dante runs the conven- 
ience store while Randal (occassionally) 
looks after the video store. Although 
there is not much of a storyline to the 
film oiIkt (h,jn (he little love interest 
which iriKTiwiiK-s iiscif alongside a se- 
ries ol mcidcnis m an otherwise non- 
eventful day. Clerks operates wonder- 
fully on the level of dialogue, especially 
that of Randa who encourages Dante to 
just "lei out' at the customers sometimes. 



Clerks is an interactive experience 
during which the audience can easily 
identify with real-size characters. The 
film opens with a sequence which 
lightly comments on the self-serving ac- 
tions of a man who discourages every 
customer who enters the store to buy 
cigarettes to serve his own materialistic 
needs. There are plenty of characters, 
and situations, with which anyone can 
identify as the two would-be clerks 
manage lo fend off weird antics of a man 
obsessed with securing the perfect 
dozen of eggs, a woman who retrieves 
ihc freshest milk from the back of the 
fridge, and strange requests from a 
porno-mag addict who wishes to use the 
toilet. 



pulp fiction's endur- 
ing appeal 



by Shawn Boughey 



Pulp Crime is a genre which con- 
tinues to retain a special status among 
many movie goers. Nothing comes 
close lo a quick-witted vviseguy getting 
in over his head against a ruthless crime 
boss and his heat-packing henchmen. In 
the best of these films, intelligence and 
the instinct for self-preservation win out 
over massive firepower. 

Steven Frear's film The Grifters 
is a tense story about a small time con 
man who makes the move to Ihc "big 
grift". Through the course of a twist- 
ing, suspcnscful plot the very nature of 
"Truth" and Identity are brought into 
question. Miller's Crossing represents 
the Coen brothers (of Raising Arizona 



and Barton Fink) foray into the gang- 
ster ntm genre. Gabrielle Byrne plays 
a smart, hardened gangster who gets 
caught between his loyalty to his aging 
crime boss and his desire for a woman. 
He must manoeuvre himself smoothly 
between two rival dons and keep him- 
self alive to make " the smart play". 
Goodfellas is Martin Scorsese's defini- 
tive modem gangster film. All of the 
usual mafia suspects are here, includ- 
ing Ray Liotta and Robert Dc Niro. 
Scorsese recaptures the success of his 
previous collaboration with De Niro in 
Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. 
Scorsese's familiarity with the conven- 
tions of this genre frees the talent in this 
film to showcase Ihcir outstanding act- 
ing ability. Goodfellas has more to of- 
fer in character depth alone than many 
ganster films have in their entirety. Defi- 
nitely see it. 



I LOVE Q U E N T I N 



by Cass Rnrighf 

Everyone just loves Quentin 
Tarantino. He is a grade nine dropout, 
former video store clerk, who makes 
ultra cool, violent crime films. He is a 
self-proclaimed film geek, who can ram- 
ble on about obscure films for hours. 
Now. since the release of his latest film, 
Pulp F(( f(V?/j.everyonc is jumping on the 
"I love Quentin' paddywagon. Tlie truth 
is. Pulp is very good, and worthy of what 
evciyonc is saying. Not quite as god- 
like as all the reviews say, but a great 
film nonetheless. In a nutshell, the film 
revolves around a selection of gangsters, 
and their intertwining lives. There arc 
hitmen John Travolta and Samuel L. 
Jackson, boxer Bruce Willis. Bonnie & 
Clyde-esquc lovers Tim Roth, Amanda 
Plummer and the mob boss and his wife 
Uma Thurman. with gangster Harvey 
Keilel and Quentin Tarantino thrown 
into Ihc fun. There are a series of 
storylines and plot twists that weave in 



and out of each other, which really can 
not be explained in words. Just sec it. 

Personally. I liked Reservoir Dogs 
better. I found it more raw. more chill- 
ing Uian Pulp. Pulp boasts Reservoir 
Dogs' alumni harvey Keitcl, Tim Roth, 
Quentin Himself, and a sly cameo by 
Steve Buschenii as Buddy Holly. The 
script is vastly improved in Pulp, with 
more witty dialogues between charac- 
ters on all useless subjects as cheese- 
burgers in France to foot massages and 
pigs with personality. Watch out for 
utterrly hilarious scenes involving 
Quentin Tarantino's garage signs and 
Christopher Walken's ass. 

So if you are a fan of John 
Travolta, swearing, guns, obscure '7fls 
tunes (Urge Overkill covering Neil Dia- 
mond rocks), sharp dialogue and nip- 
ple rings, go sec this film. If nol, see it 
anyways. You will be a fan of the above 
things. Pulp Fiction and Quentin 
Tarantino after ihe experience. 



Warning; Do not go to see this 
film expecting to see a high-budget 
chase-sequence with a horse on the top 
of a skyscraper. These two off-beat, yet 
normal, characters only play hockey on 
top of the stripmall. Clerks simply pro- 
vides a refreshing couple hours of laugh- 
ter which, in some ways, barkens back 
lo the days when you basically picked 
up a camera and worked with a few peo- 
ple to create a story. Although Clerks 
does not gratuitously display the costs 
of film success ihrough visual means 
(i.e., glossy film) it retains the interest 
of the viewer long after the film is over 
through its witty, well-written dialogue 
spoken by everyday, "real' characters 
who speak without hesitation. Clerks 



is not composed of an expensive pro- 
motional package consisting of a star, a 
producer/director team and a mega-mil- 
lion dollar budget (which ends up being 
only another version of the tiim released 
last week but with a different title). Nor 
is Clerks one of those films which peti- 
plc will go to a video store and ask, "Do 
you have that one. with that guy. in lhat 
movie that was out last year?" Although 
Clerks does nol possess a veil of rever- 
ence between it and the viewer because 
of its evident rough edges it certainly 
stands above many of the films I viewed 
at the recent Toronto International Film 
Festival. 



CINSSU - SAC Free Friday Films 
presents five films of the Pulp Crime genre 
which run each Friday at 7:00 pm in Innis 
Town Hall, 2 Sussex Avenue. The films 
include: 

The Grifters on Nov. 11, Stanley 
Kubrick's The Killer on Nov 1 8, Miller's 
Crossing on Nov. 25, Jean-Luc Godard's 
Pierrot le Fou on Dec. 2, and finishing the 
line up with Goodfellas on Dec. 9. For 
more information about these and other 
Free Friday Films, pick up a flyer at SAC 
or Innis (CINSSU Office Room 307. 




COMING ATTRACTIONS 



IfueLies. Nov3-G 
la ' HOV7-8 
SpanhinoKieHonlieij Nov 9 -10 
Nov 12 -14 



Seefhemoii our tiig screen! 

Pfograms available at the cinema, 
throughout College West, 
or call us ot 323-1301 and we'll moil you one. 



For Listifios call 323-3233 



efOfl 



o 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 



art & LITERATURE 



■ Innis goes Absolutely, Insanely Bonkers over Art, Lit, & Creativity!!! : 



This is your local Art and Lit 
Chapter of the Innis Herald speaking. 
Put a pen lo paper? Tinkle the keyboard 
more than the ivories? Got a mind and 
know how to use it? Then 

WAIT! DON'T TURN THE 
PAGE! pppppliileeeeeease! (add 
Roger Rabbit sound effects) 

Cut to the chase? Write and sub- 
mit your short stories, poems (cheerful 
or deathly) semi-fictional thoughts 
(opinions or rants are more "Random 
Thoughts'" dept.) haiku, whatever... non 
prejudicial, and open to raising a ruckus- 
thal, to me. is a bit of the Herald's phi- 
losophy (possible Latin motto: Censor 
nothing, edit very little). Life'.s short so 
play hard-submit that long-lost story- 
pseudonyms o.k. " or anything under 
(he sky (pending libel, but don't worry: 
nothing much shocks the editor 
anymore). 

That's the prerequisite "write fer 
us spiel"... but it's true. Write stuff. 
Write lots of it. Don't make it another 
3-person staffed papcr-we're not a 'zine 
(yet). This is your paper... you decide 
the direction. Can't say 1/wc love to 
type, but if there is writing coming in, 
there'll be a Herald coming out. So as 
the corny but decent saying goes. Look, 
xYvcTv. mXolKmchcarl., antiWrucl (Henry 
Wadsworth Longfellow) 

As well, I'd love h if we could 
get a representation of Innis artists (for- 
mal or informal) in these pages. Short 
of film, dioramas or sculpture, we're 
open to any artwork. Never in compe- 
tition with eye weekly but reviews of 
galleries, art news, guest column- and 
art related stuff (non-Barnes, too) would 
be righteously great. Write about Eli 
Langer. Write about whatever you want. 
As for your genius creations (I'm not 
being sarcastic) ...Obviously we can't do 
justice to the colour works (anyone spot 
me a scanner?) but submit the usual (pen 
& ink. drawings, graffiti) and subject to 
your approve re: reproduction of pho- 
tocopies (we'll do 'em good) you'll have 
your work preserved in the monthly 
Herald Gallcrie du Papier. All stupid 
kidding aside, this is your paper. " Use 
it or lose it..." we represent you- and 
hopefully we can represent your artis- 
tic, literary tastes in a fonim atmosphere 
lo a open audience. Get over the fear, 
and submit art or (and!) lit. 

If space permits, relevant 
postings related to an & lit (someone 
think of a better name, please) can be 
included... student showings, writers, 
dramatists, arts (dance, too) events info, 
as long as they aren't those $100 dollar 
workshop capitalistic crap (sorry.) Wc 
could also publish poems by people fa- 
mous/unknown/alivc/dead (you type 
'em, & I print 'cm) or quotes. 

Thought of the day: (never 
thought I'd be quoting this guy but well 
it's true:) "The dramatic concerns of 
kid-dom are 80 % bogus... You are not 
going to achieve individuality by hav- 
ing your knee pierced or wearing a great 
big ring in your buttock" - P.J. O'Rouke 

Same goes with artwork. And 
any blurbs of information, interesting 
(short) newsclippings trivial absurdities 
(more like "of interest", not really Cliff 
Clavin or EnquirerlSmril Daily Globe/ 
Fleet St. stuff) . Why asking for obscure 
(some say useless) shit? Just because. 



Also it makes the worid more interest- 
ing and makes it go down easier (I'm 
too angered and exasperated/sad by the 
news so an antedote of other infomation 
might work). Reading a paper is ordi- 
nary. Getting involved is another trip 
altogether. Anyone for a little trip or 
mind expansion/ literary cioudbursting? 
I've been around this fucking Option 
Bold command too long. Forgive me... 
this is what happens when you're look- 
ing for non-caffeine keep-you-awake- 
prodders. 

All entries with a phone number 
would be much appreciated (we don't 
butcher pieces, but if we need to con- 
tact you re: "HEY! this is great-any thing 
else you want in?', a # would be 
RILLLY decent of ya). Entries submit- 
ted on disc (Word on a Mac or anything 
3.5 ") are immediately graced with im- 
mortality and arc deified by this editor. 
TTiough we do accept stuff in pen. And 
frankly, I don't give a shit if it's Uni- 
vesityStandardEnglishPerfectScholar 
Crap. Give us what you think is good. 
It's not grammar - it's feeling-passion- 
cxperimentation. Life's short so create 
damnit. 

Token subliminal message: Sub- 
mit to the presence of the almighty om- 
nipolcm coWcge paper. After hearing 
the prez mention at the Innis Welcom- 
ing Dinner that all of this year's frosh 
made Innis their #1 choice (most excel- 
lent...) , I hope that many Innisites will 
submit stuff... and continue to show/ 
make this college great. Screw teen 
spirit... become temporary property of 
yer college. And show "em wc "ve (now 
and forever?) got the most dynamic pa- 
per on campus. Speak (create) your 
mind. 

We're here... so stir it up. 
Adios, amigos. 

R.Murray yer jr. (ok, I am short) 
editor/typing slave fer the art & lit sec- 
tion of the Innis Herald (working title: 
"No Art No Culture No Civilization" ~ 
wish I could take credit for that, but I 
can't; art as artistic expression... any- 
thing under the moon). 

Think up another name if neces- 
sary. But this one will do fer now. 
Maybe we'll rotate them. Do what you 
like. 

information overload 
33, 000. 

This is not a love song, a song 
about tuition hikes or a warbling rant 
about freedom of speech. Just an idea. 

There are about 30 thou at U. of 
T, and apart from classes, clubs and beer 
you don't always meet as many people 
as you'd like to. (newcomers to the city, 
first years, etc. etc.) So in lieu of e-mail 
boxes, if you feel like finding something 
write up a blurb and wc can print it. No, 
not Trekies, Beatlcmania show junkies 
or Rocky Horror addicts (sorry for al- 
ienating al you Deep Space 9er's... some 
of us just believe in the X-Files, is all). 
Just people who want to contact others 
widi similar (or, heaven forbid, slightly 
different) lastes, new ideas or the odd 
loose thought. Kind of like classifieds 
without any major goal in mind (buy? 
sell? Find? Collect? Meet? Swap 
Assignments...cr, books? Trade music? 



Event info.? Got 1st issue of particular 
comic? "Anyone remember that obscure 
group from Germany... what's their 
names-Fury in the Slaughter-house?... 
scream so I can find you!"? Info, for 
services available to students? stuff 
about 'zines? anything anarchistic?) . 

You might scoff at this, but still. 
You gotta admit it, if you see another 
billboard with fliers everywhere on this 
campus then you might scream. ("How 
does anyone find anything around here, 
anyway?") It ain't pathetic network- 
ing... it's just a section to let Innisites 
(etc.) find if they are looking. The Var- 
sity might have classifieds and fliers are 
fine for those who like neon paper, but 
this section could be a happy compro- 
mise (and great for people without mo- 
dems) and fill a need for Innis if ya want. 
If ya don't, then don't !@##$%^&* 
bother and file under apathy. Have a 
nice life, though. Hopefully you'll find 
use for Ibis, since the thought of being 
overrun by requests for obscure gradu- 
ate theses isn't exactly what I had in 
mind. 

Perverts, try the NOW, please. 
Singles, direct thyself to the personals. 



Curiosity killed cats before but what 
would you be if you didn't even try. 

Don't shoot the messenger- or 
shoot the idea down in flames. 

In other words, obscure thoughts 
(under 50 wds, perhaps, for this sec- 
tion.) For the token price of a loon, 
(don't worry it won't turn into an infor- 
mation overiord scenario) . I know, I 
know. It's not art & lit — just a thought. 
But anyone sharing the same mindspace 
about it? 



Vindictive Verse 

(a rambling rhyme) 

Do you know what I see in your deep- 
set eyes? Reminders of the pain the 
lies, your toned body, amis 
of sleel, me writhing under you - 
this is not how ii should feel, 
your powerful legs follow mc as 1 
try 10 lumaway. a manipulative 
mind keeping reality at bay while 
your own sexuality goes astray - 
how could I feel for you? how could 
I ask you lo slay? hurting mc, 
isolating me this way, these are 
noi the games I'd intended lo play 
- I'd thought ihe monogamy and 
faith were clear, clouded by your 
sudden anger and my fear of losing 
you, the humiliation and pity of 
those I knew, to find you in bed 
with acquaintances of mine, bragging 
to your friends of deeds so fine - 
why couldn't you just have let me 
go before my love had had the 
chance to grow. You hurt me, ihere 
I've said it and now you know - 
good-bye sweetheart, I guess it's 
me who's got lo let you go. 

Anfonia Yee 



The End 

by Erinn Freypons 

In a cold sweat I beat 

against the night. 

The fright, the fright! 

Of what were we possessed 

To think that we were 

right? 

The raging day surges 
blindly forward 
A consuming fire this flam- 
ing ward 

Covering the darkness of 
our hands 

With the streaming blood of 
all life s Lord 

We killed something as 
beautiful and as delicate 
As short and as strong 
As sea blue tears , 

To think we belong. 



the innis herald: november/december 1994. 




art & LITERATURE 



$18 



BASED ON A TRUE STORY 



by Oook: Speaker To Rodenfs 

There is a soft, almost inaudi- 
ble crunch as I break the lock on the 
motel door. I kick the biis of dcadbolt 
inside, and slip into the darkness. I 
move left quickly, lo Ihc suitcases, 
with a practiced step, effortlessly 
gliding around Ihc night stand. I pick 
the cases up and. feeling thai they arc 
soft, draw my knife. The cloth slices 
easily with a quiet ripping, barely 
noticcLiblc above the sounds of rain. I 
reach inside Ihc lining, pulling out Ihc 
bundle of traveler's cheques. 1 do the 
.same to ihe other case, and then 
quickly check the table between the 
beds, finding it easily in (he dark. 
Empty. 1 slip out of the room quietly, 
pulling the door shut, and using a strip 
of duct tape, tape it closed. I shealh 
the knife and pick up my sledge- 
hammer. I check In make sure that it 
is still wrapped properly. lis head Is 
covered in a hand lowel, and laped 
with electrical tape to reduce reflec- 
tion. The handle is only two hand 
spans long, but I don't need much. 



"His movement 
suggest grace and 
power" 



I look around, the adrenaline 
flowing in earnest now. and move on 
to the next room. I hit the door above 
the handle, and the door frame splits 
with a sharp crack. I dive inside, 
listening Intently. There doesn't seem 
to be a sound, and 1 get up. I move lo 
the suitcases, knowing from long 
practice where they will be. I know 
the layout of these rooms perfectly, 
and everyone leaves their things in the 
same places. Just as 1 reach down, 
there is a prickle at the back of my 
neck. Something below hearing alerts 
me;- 1 take up my tools and half-lum to 
the door. A bear of a man fills the 
small opening, the glint of his pistol 
the only visible feature. I freeze, 
hoping he hasn't seen me. He moves 
into the room cautiously, moving 
almost silently, frightening in such a 
large man. His movements suggest 
grace and power, and cold sweat 
begins lo run into my eyes as I watch 
the gun intently. He gets wiihin a few 
feet, and 1 feci the panic fill me. 1 
can'i be caught! 

I throw Ihc hammer at him, and 
break tnr ihu window opposite Ihe 
door. I .ilniiisi ni.ikc it when a piece of 
clolh catches ai niv >inklcs, and I go 
down. As 1 reach down lo free my 
feet. I look back. 1 i:oi lucky and hit 
him with the hammer, but he didn't 
make a sounil. 1 pull the clolh away, 
knowing even in the dark that ii's a 
bra. He doesn't know where I am. but 
he is moving toward me. past nic lo 
the window, as 1 hold niy hrcaih, I 
jump to my feci and rim tliruugh ihe 
open door, into the ram, 1 am hall a 
mile away, lying in a rain-filled ditch 
when I realize I am still holding ihe 
bra in my hands. I have held it so 



tightly ihat a broken wire has cut into 
my palm. I throw it away, and get out 
of the ditch to tlag down a ride. As a 
rig slows lo a hall ten minutes later. I 
check my fanny pack to see if 1 still 
have the money. 1 do, and it feels like 
a lot. 1 get in, entering a welcome 
womb of warmth and the gentle voice 
of Patsy Cline. 

Two days and four states later 
it is still raining, but now it is a cold, 
ugly rain that attacks the windscreen 
of another truck as it pulls into a gas 
station. 1 look out past it, and see a 
row of five motels on both sides of the 
freeway, three of which are part of 
chains that I know well, and two 
independently owned. The money is 
almost gone, so 1 say goodbye to the 
driver and run through ihe rain. I look 
around as 1 check in lo one of the 
independent motels, liking the way 
they have tried to give it class. 

I get to my room and wait for it 
to grow dark. I found a cheap 
backpack two stops back, and a 
hardware store, and 1 spend an hour 
taping up another sledge and cutting 
back the handle. I throw away the bag 
and the bits of wood and tape, and 
look about my room, memorizing its 
layout. 

When it is fully dark I set out, 
going to the other independent motel, 
and looking in one of the windows at 
the back. It looks easy, so I go to the 
doors and check it. Someone tried to 
save some money by buying cheap 
doors. They won't make that mistake 
again. 

I look around, pleased that the 
stomi is intensifying. There seems to 
be no one about, so 1 set my feet, and 
hit Ihe door. It pops with a satisfying 
clink of the deadbolt falling to the 
floor, and I enter smoothly, dropping 
the sledge by the door. Within a few 
seconds I discover some money in one 
suitcase, and move quickly lo the 
night stand. 

I open the drawer and slip my 
hand in. 

"Freeze! Security!" is the 
bellow behind me. 

My hands close on an object in 
the drawer, and I spin, lashing out 
with ihe soft but heavy form. There is 
a flash of lightening, and I see a man's 



face for an instant, just as the book in 
my hand connects with his temple. He 
lets out a muled grunt and tumbles in 
the darkness. I hear his foot hit 
something, and he falls. I am on him 
in an instant. The heavy book in my 
hand moves almost of iis own accord, 
rising and falling with a frenzied 
rhythm. For a while there is nothing 



"I realize I am 
still holding the 
bra in my hands." 



but Ihc mo\ emcnt of my arm and a 
wet, repealed thudding. 

I come to my senses, kneeling 
on the floor of the motel room. My 
arm is numb, and in the low light from 
ihc open door I can just make oui the 
bloodied mash of the Security guard's 
face. He isn't breathing, but more 
important, he made noise, and might 
have had a partner. I gel up and run 
out the door, across the fields, into the 
night. 

Hours later I stop in a small 
stand of trees and fall to my knees 
again. 1 look at my hand, lo see what 
is in it. Through the blood, mailed 
grass and hair 1 can just make out the 
words: 

"Placed by the Gideons'" in 
plain gold script. 

I throw it away, and put my 
face in my hands as my body is racked 
by sobs. Uncontrollable, they shake 
me to exhaustion, and I fall asleep 
where I collapse, under die trees. 

I wake shivering, and 1 know 
that 1 am sick. There is a fog to my 
thoughts that 1 can't shake, and I am 
sure it is due to fever. 1 remember to 
look in my fanny pack, and the money 
that I found in the suitcase is there. I 
count it out. my hands quaking 
slightly. Eighteen dollars. I di ink for 
a moment about the guard, and then 
clamp down on that thought and think 
about the future. What can I do? I 
know the answer, and look at the 
money again. More than enough for 
breakfast, a few new clothes and 
another sledge. 1 start the long walk to 
the highway. 

The End 




Somelhing need nol please mc... il tias a 
rigtil lo Ix: heard, read, expressed and cxisl. 



Il's tx:cn done t>erorc bul. welt, shon 
stuff deserves lo have its say. 



L'amourest sans pitid 
love is dirty business 
an Leioup et L.a Sale Affair 



Infonnation is not knowledge' 
Knowledge is nol wisdom/ 
Wisom is not truth' 
Truih is noi t)cau(y/ 
Beauty is not love/ 
l-ove is not music/ 
I^USIC is the best... 
-Frank Zappa from Joe's Garage 

The Real Thing 

I know tlie feeling 

II is Ihe real ifiing 
Tlie essence of the Irulh 

The perfect moment 
Thai golden moment 
1 know you feel it too 
1 know the feeling 
It is Ihe real thing 
Vou can'i refuse the embrace. 
Il's like the pattern below (he skin 
You gotia reach out and pull il all in 
And you feel like you're too close 
So you swallow anoiher dose 
The pinnacle of happiness 
Filling up your soul 
You don't think you can lake any more 
You never wanna Icl go 
To touch Ihc nioi.'i of experience 

The most basic inga-dicnis 
To see the unseen gliiier of life 
And fci'l Ihc dirt, grief, anger and sirifc 
Chenih ihe ceri;iinty of now 
It kills you a hil at a lime 
Cradle ihe rnipiration 
Il will leave yiiu writing un Ilie floor... 
Tins IS so unreal, what I feel 
This nourishmcnl. life is t>ent 
Inio .1 ^h:l(X■ i can hold 
A iwisi of f.itc, all my own 
Just gni your leeih, make no sound 
Take a step away and look around 
Just clench your fist and close your eyes 
Look deep inside, hypnotise 
The whisper is but a shoui 
Thai's what ii is all about 
Yes. the ecstasy, you can pray 
You will never let il slip away 

Like the sacred song that someone sings 
through you 
Like ihe flesh so warm that the ihom 

sticks into 
Like the dream you know one day will 
come 10 life 
Try 10 hold on just a little longer, 
stronger 
It's Ihe jewel of victory 
The chasm of misery 
And once you have billen the core 
You will always know ihe flavour 
The splil second of divinity 

You drink up the sky 
All of heaven is in your arms 
You know Ihe reason why 
It's right there, all by itself 
And whai you arc. there is nothinj; else 
You're growing a life within a life 
The lips of wonder kiss you inside 
And when it's over ihc feeling rciiia<iis 
tt all comes dov\n to ihis 
The smoke cle.irs, I sec wh.it ii is 
Tlial made iiic (ccl ilii-. 
Tliisiss(.uiire:il,whjlllccl 
Flood, sell jour soul, Icel the blood 
I'uiiip through your \cin-i. tan t cvplain 

The cicmcni ihat's everything 
Juf I Lient h youi fist and close your eyes 
Look dcL'p inside, hypnotize 
Yes. ihe ecstasy, you can pray 
You will never let il slip away 
Like Ihe echoes of your childhood 
lau-Tlilcr, e\cr afler 
Like the TirM Iiiik luve urged you lo take 
il's guid.inci;, in silence 
Like your hcanbeai when you a-alize 
you're dying, hul you're trying 
Like Ihc way you cry for a happy 
ending, ending,.. 
1 know 

■Words by Michael i'ation. Music by 
Faith No More. 



the Innis herald: november/december 1994. 



art & LITERATURE 



o n 



e-twelve, r twelve 



by Cesare Caligari 



I led her into the room through 
while numbers, the victims of elephan- 
tiasis that shouted their mantra, "two- 
iwo-two," as we were sucked Into the 
void. The man was encased in a simple 
wooden box when we entered. His hard 
voice told us, "I know your names now; 
there is no escape." The room, black, 
was blanketed with heavy fabric that 
blocked out light, except for some hid- 
den streams, those bursts of whiteness 
that seemed painted onto the walls. 
Small tables were attached to larger 
chairs, their symmetry compromised by 
a seemingly haphazard arrangement; a 
blank screen finished off the set design. 
The forms were dark and mysterious, 
but as I knew, we were where we ought 
to be. 

I led my companion to the mas- 
ter. "Here is my betrothed." I an- 
nounced, proud to serve. We faced the 
great teacher. His black clothes, stylish 
and painfully tight, made his oval face 
seem inhumanly white. Slowly his 
sleepy eyes opened. "Yes." he said tell- 
ingly, "she will be a fine student." 

She and J sat together in the front 
row. 1 could feel her awe - the master's 
-Voice was working its magic on her al- 
ready! - yet I knew she hesitated. So 
many hesitate before submission to a 
great mind. 1 understood then ihat our 
session would be long, maybe fifty min- 
utes in total, and exhausting, but that, in 
the end, she would feel his phallic 
strength. He lay down on the carpet and. 
assuming another guise. looked at the 
ceiling. "This ceiling," he said, "is in- 
determinate. It may not truly be." She 
and I nodded seriously. "It has been 
made unreal. Abstraction, distortion." 
We nodded again. "Ah, the influence 
of Monck. I will rise now." he con- 
cluded. 

Unbending, he rose in a single 
movement. It shocked my companion; 
she gasped, seeing his head rise from 
its dormant position to one of immense 
strength, above us. I bowed my head. 
"Oh, the power you have over us," 1 



babbled. 

"Hey. don't you know authori- 
tarianism is uncool." my companion spat 
out. 

"Yes." said the master. 
"But dude, you arc authoritar- 
ian." 

"No." The man smiled indul- 
gently. "You do not yet understand. You 
arc a novice. I preach against the forces 
of evil. I build in their place something 
that is not so uncoutli or uncanny, some- 
thing pure from the impure. You may 
call my methods authoritarian, but it i.s 
something else completely. You slan- 
der me with your generalisations. All 
endowment is not evil. The absolute 
power I wield over you is beautiful, my 
young pledge." 

My friend groaned. How I 
wanted to help her! Still 1 knew that 
my purpose was in bringing her to the 
professor, my saviour, and that only he 
could teach her the true path of knowl- 
edge amidst the distorted forms of two- 
two-two. She struggled to comprehend 
these new concepts. "Purity and impu- 
rity," she started, "arc. y'know, totally 
subjective. Why should 1 believe in your 
so-called purity. It's booty. Show me 
impurity. Do it. man." 1 wanted to 
scream; she had challenged the master. 
He would not spare her soul. Indeed 
not. He turned to the blank screen be- 
hind us and. magically, there appeared 
a single image of light and dark: a pear, 
nothing more, a pear delineated against 
a white background, resting on nothing- 
ness, defying natural law. It was a sump- 
tuous pear. Then, with a gesture of his 
finger, the screen changed. My com- 
panion looked in horror There, where 
the beautiful pear had been, now reposed 
the same pear in decay. The skin had 
browned and wrinkled and the rotting 
fruit was oozing forth, trapped in a still 
image of hell. 

"Existence rots purity," said the 
angst-ridden master. "You see here how 
it can happen." 

My friend rose in fury. "No, I 
haven't seen anything of the sort. You 



The Lion and the Unicorn 

by Erinn Freypons 

So strong and yet so frail 
Your silent fingers trace 
The frozen stone cold lines 
That frame my saddened face. 

Whatever are we doing 
Alive in this lost space? 

How is it that your beauty 

Amidst the evil and the dead 
Can shine like a furious Sun 
And bring Illumination to the dead? 

Whatever are we doing 
Alive in this lost place. 
Wearing the purest image 
Of wedded soft white lace. 



Chutzpah 



Arms Reaching, 

Rubber, Metal, PLASTIC. 

A bunch of pink flower;, filling a 

bowl. 

No time, no place 

No SenSe ofRhYtliEm. 

A volcanic embryo of cryogenic 

fastfood. delivered and served. 

For a goblet filled with tears 

From a torn out 

Masonry of forgonen dreains. 

A wretched abt)minalion 
reduxed from some assiduous 
attorney 

sent from the bowels of the 
LIGHT! Laughter! 
Children? 

Exacerbated Philandering. 
A missive irrevocably 
turned from its destination. 

clima\ 

-anonymous 



made the pear rot. It was unnatural." 

"Precisely. There is something 
in the natural that is inherently unnatu- 
ral." 

"Man, you are on majorly bad 
drugs," she said, retaking her seat. How 
could my companion spit these words 
at the master? How? 

The master, though, was not in- 
sulted. Without hesitation he removed 
his clothes and his body stood, exposed, 
before us. "This is purity." he said with 
an appreciative glance at himself. Hold- 
ing aloft his empty clothes, he explained. 
"This is impurity. These clothes, objec- 
tively, arc not of my being. Yet because 
I wear them, they are, subjectively, a part 
of me. They have been made true by 
my force of will." 

My companion appraised the 
sight before her. She had recovered 
quickly from the initial electric shock 
of his naked purity. "Those clothes are 
totally cool: where did you get them, 
man?" 

"A funky place on Queen 
Street," answered the master, "but that's 



really not the point. The question I pose 
to you is. why, if you believe that I have 
profoundly changed the essence of these 
utterly wicked threads, can you not be- 
lieve that the natural can be made un- 
natural, that the pear can rot?" 

"But I do believe. I really do. It's 
solid." she cooed perceptively, as she 
moved forward to kneel before the vi- 
sion of one so great. "Now, I under- 
stand. You are the master. Totally." I 
joined her at his feet. We were the bless- 
edly devoted. 

Somewhat later, we left the room 
for the mundane existence that the un- 
believing call the "real world". There 
were many colours to be seen, and true 
vanishing points. It was tedious. We 
were silent, and I knew that my friend 
was thinking about the profound change 
that had occurred in the depths of her 
soul, and elsewhere. "Man. that was 
awesome," she said, breathless. "Ger- 
man Expressionism is so cool." 1 nod- 
ded, already thinking forward to next 
Tuesday, anticipating the master's lec- 
ture on the Kammerspiel. 



Innis Herald General Meeting: 

Everyone Welcome 

Sunday, November 13th 
7:00 p.m. 

2 Sussex Avenue 
in the Pit! 




the innis lierald: november/december 1 994.