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the editors have something to sa 


The February Issue 1998 
Circulation: 3000 

Editors-in-chief: Cass Enright & Antonia Yee 
Brewculture Editor Cass Enright 
Creations Editor W.N. O'Higgins 
Entertainment Editor Ed McLaughlin 
Innis News Editor. Vicky Loh 
Music Editor Milena Placentile 

Production Editor Marijke de Looze 
Distribution Co-ordinaton Bronwyn Enright 

Herald Logo: Lenny Cohen 

Original Cover Art by: Justine Jackson 

Contributors: Austin Acton, Kelly Armstrong, B.O.C, Joanne Csillag, 
Tatyana Dachuck, John De Almeida, Kim DeCastris, Christina de Melo, 
Bart Egnal, Cass Enright, Idan Erez, Justine Jackson, Jing-Ling Kao, 
Brian Kim, Albert: Lacey, Andrew Lee, Vicky Loh, Linda Loucheaux, 
Glen Lou-Hing, Alexi Manis, Ed McLaughlin, Lisa McMartin, Klara 
Michal, W.N.O'Higgins, Milena Placentile, David Powell, Olivia Rallis, 
Ralph the Wonder Llama, Joel Schuster, Sexy Susie, Shiny and Happy, 
Diane Sidik, Pete Sobchak, Lori Turnbull, Antonia Yee. Richard Yee, 
Dan Zachariah, Kate Zieman. 

Special Thanks to: Susan Matheson, Sirje Lautens and David Powell 
for providing information and articles about Innis events on such 
short notice. Another special thanks goes out to Luke Sneyd for 
everthing - Luke, you know why. 

About the Innis Herald.., 

The Innis Herald is the monthly, student-run newspaper of Innis 
College. The paper is published at the beginning of each month by 
Centra Web Reproductions. The Innis Herald has on open-letter policy. 
We love to receive letters to the editor or just plain comments both 
praising and criticizing the issue in general, or any specific articles 
contained within the paper. We reserve the right to edit any sub- 
missions containing sexist, racist, ageist, homophobic, libellous or 
just plain dumb content, in consultation with the author. All writ- 
ing and artwork must be accompanied by the author's real name 
and telephone number. Upon request, however, articles may be 
published under a pseudonym. The views and opinions expressed 
in the Innis Herald are attributable only to their authors and do 
not reflect the opinions of the Innis Herald, its staff, or Innis Col- 

Please deliver or mail submissions and letters to the Editor to room 
305 (west wing) at Innis College, or leave them in the Innis Herald 
Mailbox in room 127 at Innis College, or e-mail them to We are located at 2 Sussex Avenue, 
Toronto ON, M5S 105. Our office phone number is 978-4748, or you 
^an fax us at "attention Innis Herald" 978-5503. 

For the first time in the last five years, the Innis Herald has 
made an effort to be part of Innis College. We have made 
contact v/ith almost all the representative groups at Innis Col- 
lege: the administration, the student unions, the clubs, the resi- 
dence and. of course, the ICSS government, in order to pro- 
mote all these groups" events and encourage unity at the Col- 
lege. Our intention this year was to change the Herald from a 
stoner rag to a forum for all of Innis' voices to be represented 
and heard by the rest of U of T. Outside of this newly aqulred 
mandate, we are proud to be an "arts" paper, focusing on all 
types of arts from film to creative writing. We are not a newspa- 
per, nor do we pretend to be. We leave that kind of coverage 
to The Varsity and the newspaper, who publish bi-weekly and 
weekly, not once a month. 

This past month has brought much criticism to the Herald. Some 
of it is warranted, some of it is not. Several Innis students, 
including the majority of our student government, have decided 
that the Innis Herald is a terrible paper, and we, the editors, 
have failed miserably at our jobs. While no paper enjoys unani- 
mous support, it seems to us that we hove failed In producing a 
paper which can boast a solid majority of Innis support. But 
we think we know why. 

Firstly, it is very difficult for us to gauge the success of our pa- 
per when students don't approach us with criticisms. Until this 
past month, we were unaware that some people thought so 
poorly of the Herald. In the past, we encountered only mild 
criticisms. Some people mentioned the print should be bigger 
We took the matter under consideration and made an editorial 
decision that our print size is comparable to that of other uni- 
versity papers. People compained that we didn't have enough 
pictures, and although we are no Sun, we have made an effort 
to include more. Some people didn't like the poetry or stories, 
but that is a matter of artistic taste. If you think you can do 
better, then please submit something to us. Otherwise, we 
believe that it is unkind of you to criticize those students who 
make an honest effort and who are brave enough to submit 
their works for print. Now we hear that the Herald is "crap". 

We want to know to what, exactly, this comment refers. 
The staff at the Innis Herald wants your feedback. We make 
this explicitly clear in our masthead. We can make the neces- 
sary changes to upgrade our paper only if you tell us what you'd 
like to see. 

Secondly, our job as editors is to edit what we receive. It is 
very difficult to promote Innis events and Innis opinions when 
we have to browbeat students into submitting articles. It is 
frustrating that, in spite of these repeated reminders and des- 
perate pleas, very few articles ever come forth. 
We find it ironic that although the Innis Herald advertises for 
new writers exclusively at Innis College and the Innis residence, 
half of the contributors to almost any given issue are not Innis 
students. Why is this? you may ask. Our answer is that the 
majority of Innis students are simply not interested in contrib- 
uting to the paper, just in passing judgment on it. In fact, while 
our staff begs Innis students to contribute, we field phonecalls 
from students at New College, Vic and UC who do not know 
us personally, but who really want to write for our paper of 
their own volition. Apparently, some U of T students do feel 
that our paper is worth both reading and writing for. In fact, 
the Herald has managed to attract several high-calibre writers. 
This year we have had the honour of publishing articles by ex 
and current Varsity writers, an award-winning Toronto Star 
writer, a former Rolling Stone Magazine writer, a freelance 
writer for Eye magazine, and various amateur freelance writ- 
ers. We don't mention this to intimidate potential writers, but 
rather to entice new contributors. The Herald is also proud to 
be the training-ground for many students who have never been 
published previously. True, not all our material is of equal qual- 
ity, but this is because we want to hear all your voices. We 
undertake to help struggling writers improve themselves. 
It is my hope that this editorial will motivate some of you to 
write and submit articles to the Innis Herald in the future. We 
want Innis student input — that's what we're here for. Your 
money pays for the Innis Herald; take advantage of the great 
opportunities which the Herald affords you. 

Letters To The Editor 


Are you Interested in joining the Her^d staff next year? 
The followir>g positions are available, to be ejected {all 
of them!) 

• Editor 

• Treasurer 

• Distribution Co-ordinator 

• Music Section Editor 

• Innis News Section Editor 

• Entertainment Section Editor 

• Arts & Literature Section Editor 

To be ellgibie to run for any of these positions, candi- 
dates must have submitted at least three pieces of 
work to two different issues of the Herald. 
More information will be available after Reading Week. 
Inquire at Herald office (Room 30S, old wing) or 
call u$ at 978-4748! 

Page 2 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

/ Can't Believe 
The Government... 

I remember maturity being a hot issue in 
high school. All those nerds and antisocial 
freaks who were supposedly too mature 
for their own good, and the cool, popular 
and very expressive opposites who 
reminded you of little kids with their 
trivial obsessions. I thought university is 
supposed to be for the budding adult, so 
why does it still look like a bunch of 10 
year olds flinging mud at each other? 
What it all boils down to is that the Auntie 
Harold was one big load of garbage, and 
such a poor indication of student spirit 
that it made the Herald look like a great 
piece of journalism. Hasn't anyone 
explained to the ICSS that using foul 
language not only denotes a really low 
level of intelligence and literacy, but also a 
lack of integrity and legitimacy? I can't 
believe the government that is represent- 
ing the students at Innis has lowered Itself 
to toilet humor, and is spending students' 
money on it. The worst thing is that 
they're proud of it, flaunt it, and cry out 
victory for democracy. 
Maybe some of the very limited content 
has some merit, as in what's happening in 
Toronto, and that the Innis editors are 
bad at their jobs. That's nothing 
compared to what the ICSS has shown 
themselves to be. I must admit that the 
Herald is of poor quality when compared 
to the other campus papers, and that the 
editors may not be doing the best job 
possible. But let me tell you that 
something like the Auntie Harold is the 
farthest cry of a solution imaginable. The 
fact that articles are rejected is only 
partially the fault of editors. The main 
problem is that articles submitted are 
often so poorly written that publishing 
them would embarrass not only the 
author, but the newspaper and the 
student body it represents as well. It was 
never about the censorship of ideas, and 
if the Auntie Harold is an indication of the 
quality of article that the ICSS can 
produce, no wonder the Herald doesn't 
publish them. 

If the Herald is to get better, it should stop 
squabbling with the ICSS about budgets 

and editors, and give the students the 
government and newspaper they're 
entitled to. I don't scream out all my 
personal problems, domestic intrigues 
and the like. Like most mature 
individuals, I strive to solve my problems 
with the people Involved. It really isn't 
fair for the Herald or Auntie Harold to be 
used simply to express a select number 
of personal views. For both the Herald 
and the ICSS, all I can say is quit fighting 
over illusions of grandeur (you're only 
university groups... not the Govemment 
of Canada or the Globe and Mail), and do 
your job. 

As for the countless who applaud the 
Auntie Harold because they find the 
Herald dull and listless, when did you last 
contribute? Students at UofT are some 
of the most diverse in the country, doing 
so much on campus and in the 
community. Newspapers are about 
sharing ideas and experiences, not of the 
editors and staff, but of the students 
themselves. So if you are involved In 
something, or know of an upcoming 
event, write a paragraph or two and 
submit. The Herald can only be what 
people make of it, and instead of 
complaining or wasting effort on trash, 
do something about it. 
It's really sad that the Auntie Harold ever 
needed to come out. I really hope that 
the ICSS reconsiders next time it wants 
to use student dollars to humiliate itself in 
public. And if nothing else, I hope they 
ask us what we think. Democracy never 
flowed one way, and if so. it never 

Klara Michal 

The Rating Party 

I had the misfortune of wading through 
the ICSS's sub-literate production, the 
Auntie Harold. Talk about a new low for 
student journalism. This is supposed to 
replace the Herald^ And meanwhile my 
student fees are subsidizing their feud... 
What's really the point of attacking the 
Herald right now? True, the quality's hit 
and miss. It has been for years. But if 
anything, it's been slowly improving — 

without much support from the ICSS 
dagger-crew. From here it looks a lot 
like the ICSS is simply testy about their 
administration getting bad reviews. 
They're attacking the people criticizing 
them, trying to convince Innis students 
that our sacred money would be better 
spent elsewhere. Maybe it's time the 
paper was shut down. Nice democratic 

Let's talk about responsible use of funds. 
The ICSS has spent money on the Auntie 
Harold, a Massage Club whose members 
use the funds to get massages, a big Star 
Wars poster In the their office, and Star 
Wars give-aways for a special trilogy 
screening that was barely advertised. 
And I'm sure they don't spend any stu- 
dent money on post-meeting beer runs... 
Let's look at the cuts they've made. 
They've slashed the budgets for the Cin- 
ema Studies Student Union, responsible 
for Free Friday Films, and the Environ- 
mental Studies Student Union, who had 
big plans for celebrating Earth Week at 
the college. They've also cut funds to 
the Innis library. They're systematically 
cutting traditional support, to give them 
a bigger pot to dip into. "Fight Whitey"? 
Joel — ^you ore V/hitey! You and the ICSS 
government are out-establishing the es- 
tablishment with a grab for power and 
money that's plain for anyone who cares 
to see it. 

The ICSS certainly has enough social 
events. But Innis social events are barely 
advertised, and benefit the same group 
of people over and over again. They say 
they'll advertise the events in the Auntie 
Harold, but why should we have to suf- 
fer through so much juvenile garbage just 
to find out what's going on? Why not 
poster more extensively at the College 
like a normal campus group? 
This incarnation of the ICSS Is consist- 
ently undermining the College commu- 
nity and adding nothing constructive. 
They think they can get away with any- 
thing (with the Auntie Harold they prob- 
ably will). The College lacks both the 
nerve and the ability to deal with them, 
so It's up to us. Next election, vote, and 
kick the bums out. 

Pete Sobchak 

mms news 

ICSS embarrasses Innis College 

Infighting within Student Government continues as Innis tries to clean up the mess 

What began as a proposal for a bi- 
weekly Innis College Student Society 
(ICSS) newsletter has ended as a night- 
mare for Innis College, On Tuesday 
January 20th. copies of the ICSS news- 
letter entitled "The Innis College Auntie 
Harold" were slipped under every door 
in Innis Residence and also placed in 
the Pit at the College. Within the three 
page, double-sided, photocopied 
newsletter were some expected and 
unexpected items. Expected were 
things like a report on updated weekly 
events on the club and party scene at 
UofT Unexpected were the excre- 
ment jokes, the racist jokes, the sexist 
jokes, the intense criticism of the Innis 
Herald, the personal and slanderous at- 
tacks on Innis Herald editors William 
O'Higgins and Cass Enright and the 
flagrant contradictions within the pub- 

The headline article, the "Auntie 

Harold's Statement of Intent" outlined 
the purpose of the paper as not only 
being a frequent ICSS update, but also 
a checks-and-balance publication 
whose intent was to keep an eye on 
the Innis Herald. This, of course, was 
not what the ICSS government origi- 
nally agreed upon, and therefore the 
publication in itself was a violation of 
the passed resolution. Within the pub- 
lication, there were two articles that 
specifically attacked the Innis Herald, 
which were accompanied by random 
attacking commentaries throughout. 
The article entitled "What Sucks in the 
Herald this Month?" by fUchard G. 
Slater attacked Creations Editor 
Wlliam O'Higgins for his contributions. 
Editor Cass Enright for conflict of in- 
terest and all of the editors for a lack 
of "journalistic integrity". The second 
notable article was by Heather Frost, 
entitled "The Herald Editors Are In- 

competent". Frost wrote that the 
Herald editors "substitute opinion for 
fact" and laid a personal attack on 
Enright by writing that he uses the pa- 
per to advance his social life. Appar- 
ently, according to Frost, "It's no won- 
der his staff is so small." Also published 
were a gay pornography review, a 
comic depicting bestiality, a sexual 
crossword, two racial slurs and count- 
less sexist comments. 
The Auntie Harold created such a stir 
that Gary Spencer, the Dean of Innis 
Residence commented, "I have an e- 
mail from one of my dons that says 
many many students have gone to 
complain to their dons because it was 
put under their door in the residence 
and they want to know why and that 
they found it offensive." Since then, 
there have been two official letters of 
complaint filed to Spencer. John 
Browne, Principal of Innis College has 

Do You Like The Auntie Harold? 

Compiled by 

John De Almeida. Glen Lou-Hing and Victoria Loh 

Glen Lou-Hing: I was quite dis- 
pleased with the level of maturity or 
the lack thereof in the Innis Auntie 
Harold. The comments were suited 
for mindless adolescent barbarians, 
not intellectual university students. 

Clayton Gabes; I thought the Auniie 
Harold was much better than the regu- 
lar old Innis Herald. 

Mike Audet: I found it to be mean- 
spirited and I didn't find anything 
good about it at all. 

Word On The Street: Others Have Their Say 

The tone is not right. It's not the kind 
of tone we've ever had presented in 
the college before, and I don't think it's 
in the interest of the college to present 
itself in that way. I don't know if the 
college's interests are served by hav- 
ing itself portrayed that way. I've had a 
lot of negative comments from my col- 
leagues. I've got tetters and a lot of 
comments from senior administrators 
from the College saying that they don't 

think that the kindof the tone in it is 
the kind which should be associated 
with the college. 
-John Browne, Principal 

I thought that Innis was capable of 

—Donald Boere, Registrar 

I thought the crossword was the 
best. It's the only one I've ever 

gotten in my life. 

-Lindsay Maaminimahraral, Innis 

I didn't like it. It wasn't funny. 
-William Song, Innis Resident 

I thought it was quite meaningless. 
-Jennifer Chan, Innis Resident 

also told the Herald that there have 
been many complaints voiced to him 
from senior administrators disgusted 
with the tone of voice in the ICSS pub- 
lication. Other University of Toronto 
publications such as University Col- 
lege's Gargoyle and Woodsworth Col- 
lege's Woody have discussed the con- 
troversy surrounding the Auntie Harold 
with feature articles within their latest 
editions. Editors of both publications 
are members of CINSSU and spend 
much of their time at Innis College. 
To add fuel to the fire, there was no 
consensus within the ICSS government 
with regards to its actions. ICSS Presi- 
dent Joel Schuster was the person 
responsible for seeing the Auntie 
Harold to press and has since been held 
responsible for the damages that have 
come forth. 

The public seems to be shocked that 
the ICSS President along with a few 

ICSS government members would 
take it upon themselves to see that 
such a publication would surface. "I 
thought that Innis was capable of 
more." said Donald Boere, Registrar 
of Innis College. Students, meanwhile 
have had a near split vote with regards 
to whether they like or dislike the pub- 
lication. Some regard it as a "big joke", 
while others see it as offensive. 
As the ads for submissions to the Auntie 
Harold remain posted in the hallways 
of Innis College and Innis Residence, 
their caricature depiction of large 
woman and with the title overhead "To 
my fat bitch Aunt" has become uglier 
and even more offensive as the mess 
created seems greater to clean up 
every day. The embarrassment cre- 
ated by the ICSS publication has just 
begun to echo throughout the univer- 
sity and the true damages still remain 
to come. 


Joel Schuster, President of the ICSS 

To anyone who was offended by the "Auntie Harold" publication. I would like to 
extend my deepest apologies. I didn't realise that people would be so offended 
by it. However, because some of you were. I apologize both personally and 
professionally. 1 am sorry to have offended or insulted anyone, and hope that 
you will accept my apology. 

1 would also like to thank the people who were brave enough to stand up against 
something which they didn't like. Because of your input, the ICSS student gov- 
ernment has decided not to publish the Auntie Harold again. This conclusion was 
made possible by your feedback. Because some of you stood up against some- 
thing you didn't like, changes have been made. I thank anyone who gave their 
input on this matter; constructive criticism is alvrays welcome, 
I recommend tfiat any Innis College resident or student interested in contribut- 
ing to future ICSS decisions attend our next general meeting, which will be held 
Tuesday February lOth at 9: 10 pm. The ICSS will meet in the Pit at Innis. and will 
proceed to a classroom from there. Any Innisite is encouraged to speak and 
vote at these meetings. I urge you to join our discussion: your voice makes a 

The Stats Tell All 

One hundred (nn/s residents were asked "Do you like the Auntje Harold?" 

■ Yes Cvo^.; 

■ No (ti '/,) 
□ Undecided 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page 3 

Next Innis Herald General Meeting: Thurs., Feb. 12th, 5pm in the Herald Office 
In Room 305, on the top floor of the old wing of Innis, or call us at 978-4748 
Time is running out on your chance to contribute to the Herald! 

innis & camous news 

Student Union Update 

During an ICSS meeting in late November of last year, ICSS, ENSU and CINSSU 
representatives agreed that the ICSS government should approach the student 
unions at the beginning of 1 998 with a proposal to address and resolve the griev- 
ances which arose from the ICSS government's controversial decision to fund 
student unions according to the amount of members who are enrolled at Innis 
College. The ICSS government's new policy resulted in a budgetary loss of 
approximately two-thirds for both Innis student unions. Although CINSSU mem- 
bers have approached the ICSS government in the new year to request this prom- 
ised proposal, none has been forthcoming. 

Innis Career Night '98 
Were We Impressed! 

On January 20. 1 998, ambitious Innis students were given an opportunity to get 
career advice from Innis alumni at the third annual Career Night. In all. over 
forty students crowded into the Event Room at Innis Residence to hear first- 
hand how Innis Grads got their start and how their career paths unfolded. 
The informal atmosphere allowed for one-on-one discussion and more personal 
dialogue between the students and alumni. After each alumnae gave a brief bio 
on themselves, students were encouraged to introduce themselves to the indi- 
viduals that most interested them. 

Led by Martha MacEachern. President of the Innis College Alumni Association 
and now with the Toronto Raptors, other representatives included: Fred Mottof 
Midland Walwyn; Pierre Blum of Canadian Pacifc Hotels; and, Kimberly Nash of 
Ogiivy & Mather, Especially popular were the Cinema Studies crowd led by Jim 
Shedden of the AGO and Joel and Deborah Kwinter. Borrrowing from their 
respective experiences at Cineplex Odeon and as independent consultant, Joel 
and Deborah gave a great deal of insight into what it takes to make it in the film 

Sirje Lautens, the event organizer, was very pleased with the outcome of Career 
Night saying "The [Alumni] Association wanted to do something for the stu- 
dents before their graduation that could have a positive impact on both their 
academic and professional career". 

The "Greening" of Innis 
Open Space 

ENSU's Calendar of Upcoming Events 

Thursday, February 12 

• ENSU's Pub Night - at The Ferret and Firkin {Spadina - south of Bloor) 
8:30 pm 

Environment Week: 

Tuesday, February 24 

• ENSU Information Booth & 
Bakesale, Innis Pit 

1 1 :00 am to 2:00 pm 

• Environmental Information Session 
with Barbara Schaffer (from the Re- 
cycling Dept.), Location Not Yet De- 
termined, 12:00 pm 

Thursday, February 26 

• Information Booth Day at Sidney 
Smith (Some of the groups participat- 
ing will be: ENSU, OPIRG. TEA, 
IndEco & the Toronto Works Dept.) 
11:00 am to 2:00 pm 

• Clothing Swap (co-sponsored by 
ENSU & OPIRG). Sidney Smith 

Friday, February 27 

• Clothing Swap at Sidney Smith 
(Whatever Clothes Are Left Over Wll 
be Donated to the UofT Clothing 

(• This Calendar is still Tentative ■ 
There are More Events to Come, so 
be watching for Posters or call us at 
978-1786 •) 

Moving Up The Hierarchy 

Lisa McMartin 

Recycling programs, such as our be- 
loved Blue Box, have been successful 
in soliciting public participation and 
acting as a symbol of the public's con- 
cern for the environment. However, 
debate has begun on whether we need 
to move beyond recycling — move up 
the 3Rs hierarchy to the reuse of ma- 

Recycling programs are capable of tar- 
geting a wider variety of materials than 
deposit return systems. Certain ma- 
terials such as paper cannot be reused, 
and therefore recycling offers the only 
method of diverting that portion of the 
waste stream. Beverage containers on 
the other hand can be dealt with dif- 
ferently, through the use of refillable 
bottles and a deposit return system. 
Recycling plastic is extremely expen- 
sive, contributing to low recycling 
rates. However, if beverage contain- 
ers were collected outside the Blue 
Box program, there would be more 
space for more profitable materials 
such as fibre, thereby potentially in- 
creasing revenues. 

We just need to take a look at The Beer 
Store to understand the potential of 
refillable bottles. Their recovery rate 

was 97.6% in 1995, and it is paid for 
strictly by the private sectors (the 
brewers and customers). This is un- 
like the Blue Box recycling program, 
which according to reports by Metro 
Toronto and the City of Toronto, re- 
cycles less than 50% of beverage con- 
tainers and has cost Metro, excluding 
North York, $ 1 .7 million a year to re- 
cycle plastic pop bottles. Unfortu- 
nately, it is getting harder and harder 
to find stores which sell pop in refill- 
able glass bottles: currently only about 
2% of soft drinks are sold in these con- 

The ability of recycling to solve our pol- 
lution problems is inherently limited. 
Because of growing economies and 
increasing consumption, recycling fails 
to deal with the critical problems of re- 
source depletion and waste. Reuse 
and reduction must therefore become 
priorities. Higher recovery rates, like 
The Beer Store has achieved through 
refillables, result in a reduced need for 
landfills, less air and v/ater pollution, 
energy savings, and fewer h^itats be- 
ing destroyed from mineral extraction 
and production. 

In response to these issues, the To- 

ronto Environmental Alliance (TEA) 
has launched a province-wide cam- 
paign — Return to Reuse, and is en- 
couraging UofT students to get in- 
volved. A supermarket downtown has 
been targeted in an attempt to get it 
to support refillable bottles. TEA is 
looking for volunteers who are inter- 
ested in doing any of the following: 

'becoming involved with publicity, 
education, and public action, 
"swaying store policy, 
•organizing community information 
meetings, or 

•writing articles for community news- 

If you would like to learn more or vol- 
unteer your time. TEA will be having 
two information meetings: one on 
Monday. February 9 at 6:00pm, the 
other on Monday, February 23 at 
6:00pm, both at 122 St. Patrick St.. 
suite 209. In addition, TEA will be at 
Sidney Smith on Wednesday, February 
25 as a part of Environment Week, so 
if you would like to learn more about 
reusable and ref liable bottles come pay 
a visit. For any inquiries contact TEA 
at 596-0660. 

David Powell, Program Counsellor 
Innis Environmental Studies Program 

The initiative to green the open space around the College originated as part of a 
student's Environmental Studies Program course project. The student recom- 
mended changes to the open space that would make it both more attractive for 
users, and more environment-friendly The House Committee of Innis College 
Council gave its approval for a second student in the Design in Environment 
Program to develop a plan for the open space, which she did, in part as a course 
prefect, and in part as a Work-Study student. As part of her work, she surveyed 
many users of the courtyard space behind the College. The results of the survey 
indicated that users wanted the space to be naturalized, but for significant open 
space to remain. During this time, a third student developed a detailed plan for 
a roof-top garden above the Innis Cafe. 

When the roof was redone last summer, there was some money in the budget 
for repairing damage to the couryard from construction activity. With approval 
from the administration of the College, some of this money was used to imple- 
ment the first stage of the open space plan, by creating a border for native shrubs 
and perennials with a mulch pathway running through it. Large rocks were added 
for seating and to enhance the "naturalization" of the courtyard, and a few shrubs 
were planted. 

Further work will be approved and implemented (including volunteer work) by a 
Garden Sub-committee of the House Committee. Anyone who wishes to join 
this sub-committee and get their hands dirty, should contact Susan Matheson or 
Margot Kempton- Pad more. 

Continued on page 5 

Page 4 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

Does the Public have the right to know ? 

Lori Turnbull 

On January 3 1 st, the panel debate on journalistic ethics, called "The Public's Right to Know," was well worth the admission 
for students (Free) but definitely not worth the $15 for non-students. The advertised principal speaker, Toronto Star 
editorial page editor Haroon Siddiqui, abruptly left at the break after making petty attempts to discredit U of T professor 
and Globe and Mail columnist Rick Salutin. 

Siddiqui told the audience that "you have a right not to read Rick Salutin. You have a right to good taste." Whatever 
Siddiqui's personal issues for cutting out early, the debate addressed a cutting-edge topic: the media's conflictual role in 
society today. Addressing the tragic death of Princess Diana and Bill Clinton's numerous sex scandals, the panelists' central 
question was: whose rights take precedence? The public's right to know or the celebrity's right to protect their reputation 
and privacy? 

Siddiqui said '"the public's right to know' is often seen as [a] self-serving [defense] by the media, which it is." 
Panelist Stuart Robertson, a Canadian Press lawyer, said we never see someone sue a publication for breach of privacy, and 
that celebrities and citizens alike should start thinking about taking such recourse so as to protect their rights to privacy. 
Panelist Robert Martin, a law professor at Western University, said that very few public figures - save for former PM Pierre 
Trudeau - ever stand up to the media. Martin recounted the famous incident when an intrusive reporter asked Trudeau 
about his 'troubled marriage" and Trudeau responded by asking the reporter about his own marital problems. The reporter 
quickly changed the topic to matters of state. Martin says "there's a need for a little bit more robustness on the part of 
public figures." 

The problem of questionable journalistic ethics is largely because journalism is not a certifiable, regulated profession, says 
Martin. "Anyone who calls himself/herself a journalist can be one." he said. 

But Salutin said that the Clinton sex scandal is refreshing because everybody can understand it, whereas these same report- 
ers fail in their duty to simplify and make understandable more pressing political issues like the MAI, says Salutin. The 
prez's sex scandal "teaches people that the leader of a country can be just as goofy as anybody else." Salutin also took 
square aim at Clinton, saying that because of his sex scandal problems, he has let the mass starvation of Iraqi children to 

Salutin's moral inference was that innocent children shouldn't have to starve just because of Clinton's personal problems. 
And the question-and-answer period went smoo^ly despite Siddiqui's abrupt departure. 

innis & campus news 

Taddle Creek Award Scandal: i4r^ We Responsible? 

Klar^ Michal 

The selection of the Taddle Creek 
Resident Award winners is being 
redone, and it's a victory for the 
students. Or that is what's being 
was deemed necessary at an emer- 
gency meeting of the Awards. Admis- 
sions and Counseling committee to 
repeat the selection process because 
flaws in the original process were 
found. As in the past, the recipients of 
the award were chosen at a meeting in 
the last week of December. At the 
meeting, no students showed up. This 
is nothing new, it seems, since over the 
last 1 1 years, the same thing has been 
happening. But this year, it became a 

A letter of complaint came to the 
attention of a member of the 
committee which outlined concerns 

about the lack of student input, the 
issue of quorum not being met. 
problems with the notification of the 
meeting, and finally, the possibility that 
students who received it were not the 
best candidates for the award. All of 
these charges together were deemed 
very serious, and future changes both 
to the ICC constitution and the 
conditions of the award itself will be 
dealt with in the future as a result. 
But choosing new award recipients? A 
victory for the students? 
The fact that students didn't show up 
for the meeting was a combination of 
bad timing for the meeting and little 
notification. But something that many 
people forget is the responsibilities of 
students eleaed to represent all Innis 
students on the ICC. Attendance has 
been a perpetual problem. Students 

don't check their mailboxes, forget to 
attend meetings, and don't send 
alternates if they truly cannot be there. 
It was proposed that students should 
be notified by all means possible, e- 
mail. phone and m^lbox notice, but is 
this really necessary? Students should 
realize that they must take on the 
responsibility themselves when in the 
position of representing others. From 
all around the campus, students 
complain that their voices are not 
heard, and yet when they have the 
opportunity before them, they don't 
even show up for the meetings? 
It is true that quorum wasn't met. and 
that notification was poor for this 
meeting. The ICC constitution is going 
to be changed to deal with these 
issues, but in my opinion, that isn't the 
biggest problem, or the best solution. 

Day of Action: an Innisite POV 

The Student Day of Action protest on January 28th was a typically Canadian affair: polite, riot-free, and cold as hell. 
Working on the assumption that any sort of action is better than sitting around complaining. 1 dragged my lazy ass out to join 
about 3, 000 other students, parents and free-floating activists that always seem to end up at these sorts of events. The U 
of T group started at Hart House (where I was issued a mighty stylin' sign on a stick), then proceeded to Queen's Park, 
down University, eventually joining the York and Ryerson contingents on the corner of Queen and Bay. To the muffled 
sound of the Prodigy's "Firestarter" and various megaphone-muffled chants, we marched (or shuffled, in my case) dov^^ to 
the Heart of Evil, aka the intersection of King and Bay streets, where five billion in profits were made last year alone. 
From 2pm until about 3:30pm. we were addressed by various speakers, among them Joan Grant-Cummings from the 
National Action Committee on the Status of Women. Brad Levigne from Canadian Federation of Students, and Wayne 
Samuelson, the recently-elected Ontario Federation of Labour president. The messages were all basically the same: bring 
down the banks, establish a national grant system, abolish tuition fees altogether. Collins summed it up nicely, saying "what 
you are sasking for is not a charity, it is a right". Although Mike Harris wasn't as direct a target here as he was during the 
Bill 1 60 protests, any mention of his name brought forth a wave of enthusiastic hatred from the group ... "fuck Mike Harris" 
was the longest and most fervent cheer, no doubt bringing a joyous tear to the eye of many a socialist newspaper vendor. 
Heartwarming, it was. 

It's hard to tell how successful the whole thing was. We got a lot of media coverage (most of it given to the sixty or so 
people who camped out in the lobby of the CIBC builiding). and a declaration of support from Chretien, but until I see 
tangible results, like the tuition freeze achieved in Quebec as a result of protests there last year, I remain unconvinced that 
much will change. On the other hand, it was great to see so many "average" people out there. Maybe this won't be 
remembered so much for what it accomplished as for what it started: a return to student activisim that hasn't been felt 
around here for a while. 
And I got to keep my sign. 

Rez Corner 

Tatyana Dachuck 

After the stressful month of December, and a whole month of January blahs, February finally brings back a month of fun. 
festivities and frolicking. This month is full of activities and most importantly, a vacation! At the beginning of this month the 
IRC helps the ICSS put on the formal, and if the steady succession of great formals holds true, this year's should be the best 
one yet. The week after from Reading Week the IRC has planned a bus trip to a popular downtown club (possibly the 
Joker)! February also marks the beginning of Innis's leap into the wonderful world of worms as several suites have shown 
interest in vermicompositing. For those of you who don't know what that is, worms are placed in a box with bedding (e.g. 
earth, paper, etc.) and food scraps are placed on the surface. The worms eat the scraps and magically transform it into a 
rich fertilizer. (It's not too late — for those of you still interested, come see me in 60 1 ). February is our second fundraising 
project. This time First House and North House will raise money for Eastern Ontario and Quebec Disaster Relief. 
Hopefully, support for this charity will match and even surpass that which we raised for the Boys and Girls Club of Toronto. 
I urge you to get involved in whatever vray you can. whether it be in supporting efforts, participating in events or just 
offering ideas. If anyone has any ideas or concerns with anything mentioned here or anything else, please don't hesitate to 
voice them at our next IRC meeting February 1 1 . 1998 at 10:00 pm In the Event Room. 

Free Friday 

CINSSU. in conjunction with SAC, 
presents Free Friday Films every 
Friday at 7 pm. Innis College Tov/n 
Hall, 2 Sussex Avenue. 

February 6 — The Decline of the 

American Empire 

DenysArcand. 1986 

February 1 3 — Kissed 

Lynne Stopkewich, (996 

February 27 — When We Were Kings 

Leon Cast. 1996 

March 6 — Fire 
DeepaMdita, 1996 
March f 3 — Carte Blanche 
A notable local industry figure presenD 
a film of his or her choice. 
March 20 — Hamlet 
Kenneth Branagh, 1996 
March 27 — The Sweet Hereafter 
Atom Egoyan, 1 997 
April 3 — Lost Highway 
Dawd Lynch, 1996 

By defining every single little rule in 
the constitution, it becomes so 
restrictive that it takes power away 
from individuals. By giving students 
the responsibilities that are equally 
given to those in positions of power in 
the real world, it empowers them. 
The responsibilities are not restrictive 
and set in stone, but are flexible... and 
important. Getting countless remind- 
ers is a luxury in ^e real world, for if 
you don't make your commitments, 
you pay the consequences. And 
honestly, by giving out new awards, 
you are focusing on these problems, 
but not solving them. 
Those that received the award the 
first time are left with the impression 
of not being worthy of it. The 
decisions of those who adjudicated 
the awards were made to the best of 

their ability, regardless of student 
input. Readjudicating the awards 
questions these persons' capability to 
choose. And finally, this retums to the 
question of why students don't show 
up for these meetings in the first place. 
Most awards and scholarships are 
given without any consultation widi 
students. We're lucky here at Innis, 
but this privilege doesn't come free. 1 
agree that change is needed, but to 
blame the system, and set up strict 
rules isn't the solution. 

Editor's Note: The Academic 
Awards, Admissions and Counselling 
Committee met Feb. 3 to 
readjudicate theTaddle Creek 
Awards. It should be noted that the 
original award winners will keep 
their awards. 

Innis' Own Cam Tolton 
Wins Teaching Award 

Innis' Professor of French and Cinema 
Studies and Director of the Cinema 
Studies Programme, Cam Tolton. has 
been given a Outstanding Teaching 
Award in Humanities from the Faculty 
ofArts and Sciences, Professor Tolton. 
a very familiar face around Innis Col- 
lege was nominated by his students of 
INI 2 1 2Y (Film History) last year. Upon 
hearing the nev/s from his wife, Prof 
Tolton said he was overwhelmed, 
shocked and delighted. There will be a 
ceremony honouring the recipients of 
the awards later in the year. 

During the past few months, "too long a time", according to librarian Leonard 
Ferstman, the Innis Library has been undergoing extensive renovations. Although 
he makes no promises, Leonard hopes that the renovation will be completed 
during Fteading Week. The Innis Library currently houses twelve computers which 
are accessible only to students who live in Innis Residence, or are enrolled at 
Innis College or in any INI course. After renovations are completed, the library 
will boast twenty computers, twelve of which may be used by all U of T stu- 
dents, and eight of which will be reserved for the exclusive use of Innis students. 
Laser printing facilities are also available. In addition, the staircase and the upper 
and lower mezzanines in the library will now be newly carpeted, thereby elimi- 
nating the noisy clang of the metal plates which once disturbed those studying in 
the library. The library has also aquired new tables and chairs. 
The holdings in the Innis Library cater largely toward the Innis programs. The 
Cinema Studies collection in the Innis Library is second in size only to the cata- 
logue at Robarts. The library also contains an impressive Environmental Studies 
collection, as well as a smaller Urban Studies holdings. The study atmosphere at 
the Innis Library is relaxed and quiet; you can settle down to work in private 
carrels, comfortable chairs, or even put your feet up on well-loved couches- 
And there is always a friendly staff person on duty to help you locate what you 

So, the next time you are tempted to dash off to Robarts to see if a book is in, 
avoid the long line-ups and hassles, come up to the Innis Library and take advan- 
tage of those brand new computers! 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page 5 


U S I c 


E W S 

Rumors, Gossip and Other Lies 

Milena Placentile 

• It's Grammy time again! And. who better 
to host the February 25th event than Kelsey 
Grammer? Notice the pun. Well, nomina- 
tions were handed out some time ago, but I 
have still been unable to get over the fact 
that the Spice Girls aren't up for anything. I 
just don't understand it. Here's something 
cool— An! DiFranco's "Shy" made her a 
nominee for Female Rock Performance of the Year. The only thing 
that doesn't make sense about this is that the song is from back in 
the summer of '95. Better late than never. Finally, Fiona Apple 
has already announced her conviction that her nominations w/ere 
given only as a response to her MTV Music Awards speech last 
year where she expressed displeasure with the whole "Bull Shit" 
of awards etcetera etcetera. 

• Sesame Street is teaming up with modern 
music-makers like Mighty Mighty Bosstones 
and Shawn Colvin for Elmopalooza!, in cel- 
ebration of the company for kids' 30th anni- 
versary. During the show the musicians will 
team up with characters from the show to 
make videos for classic Sesame Street tunes. 

The show has been slated for February 20th on ABC. 

• Aerosmith will be the featured band in Be Coo/ the sequel to 
Elmore Leonard's novel Get Shorty. Leonard is currently a pop- 
culture symbol due the success of Jackie Brown which is Quentin 
Taraniino's adaptation of his other novel Rum Punch. 

• The Spice Girls' media 
mechanism of meeting 
with celebrity figures such 
as Nelson Mandela and 
Prince Charles seems to 
have come to a halt with 
Australian President John 
Howard who has declined 
requests to visit with him, 
Ooooooh! Snubbed! 

• Forever the media-rebels. Pearl Jam members are not working 
on an MTV-targeted music video for "Given lo Fly," the first single 
from their new album, field {Feb, 3). Pearl Jam find the process of 
making music videos extremely unpleasant and so they decided to 
just forget about the whole thing. 

• Bob Masse, the artist who designed the official "Dew Drop Inn" 
poster from Tori Amos' last tour is currently working on a brand 
new poster. The new poster is going to be signed and numbered 
by Bob Masse, and will never be sold in any stores or galleries. This 
is for the fans only. Also. $1 from each poster will go to RAINN. 
the rape and abuse charity that Tori Amos supports. For more info 
visit, html. 

• Damn it! I thought they were gone! But „ -/J^S Jf^ilgiaiSTIg 
no. Columbia Records recently announced 
that they will release one last Presidents 
of the USA album. Now we can all look 
forvtrard to covers, live-tracks, and b-sides. 

• And where would this 
I issue of the Herald be 
vithout Cure-News? Be- 
I lieve it or not. on February 1 8, dear Bob is sched- 
I uled to make a guest appearance on the series 
I South ftjfk- Who would have thunk it? He recorded 
I his dialogue while touring the U.S. west coast, and 
umor has it he kills Kenny! 


Innis' Theme Song for 1997-1998 

"Why does evervthing, evetything for you 
have to be so political?" 

- Spirit of the West, "Political", 1991 

Keep Yer Eyes Peeled! 

Its going to be a month of breaking free! More than a few 
band members have taken breaks from their group 
committments to produce their own solo works, or to work 
on the albums of other musirians. Furthermore, lots of re- 
issues are showing up just in case you didn't catch them 
the first time around by say, reasons of a late birth. Looks 
like the months ahead are making up for a slow and lazy,, 

February 3 

Cubanate, Interferance 
LaTanya, What You Own 
Various Artists, Black History in Music 

February 10 

03 Spooky, Synthetic Fury EP 
James Iha, Let it Come Down 
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Self Titled 
The Inbreds, Winning Hearts 

John Lee Hooker, The Complete Chess Masters (Rarities) 
Various Artists, Wing Commander: The Prophecy (Your fa- 
vourite video game tunes available on your discman. KMFDH, 
Fear Factory, Brooklyn Bounce and other industrial techno 

February 17 

Ani OiFranco, Little Plastic Castles 
G.P.-Wu, Don't Go Against the 

Marcus Miller, Marcus Miller Live 

IS Miller Live _/ 
est of B.B, King 

February 24 ' 1 

B.B. King, The Very Best ofB.B. King < / 

Jerry Cantrell, Boggy Depot y^>^ 
RichieSambora, Uodiscovererf Sou/ /^-^'^ 
Rufus Blaq, fi/og As Day • V"^*^ T 

Soundtrack, Welcome to Woop lVoop(Featuring 
Chumbawumba, Poe, Cake, Reel Big Fish, Eels, and Boy 
George - Didn't see that coming!!) 
Van Halen,!// 

Various Artists, Celtic Heartbeat CoUection (Voi. 2) 
March 1 

Cocoa Brovaz (Smit N Wessun), The Rude Awakening 
March 3 

Eric Reed , Pure Imagination Wi^l 
McCoy Tyner, Reaching Forth (Remastered edition) 
John Coltrane, Live at the Village Vanguard 
The Andrew Sisters, Master Takes (60th Anniversary Collec- 

M arch 10 

Killah Priest, Heavy Mental 
Izzy Stradlin .T.B.A. 

The Who, Odds and Sods (Remastered with bonus tracks) 
Cher & Sonny & Cher, Greatest Hits (Remasterd just in time 
for the funeral) 

March 17 

John Coltrane, Living Space (More from the Man) 
March 24 

Jimi Hendrix, X.BA. r '« 

Sonic Youth, T.B.A. 

Curve, Come Clean ^H^^h ^ . 


Tori Amos, T.B,A 

Holly McNarland at the Hangar 

W. N. O'Higgtns 

The Hangar is almost a great 
campus pub. The location is 
fantastic, they've got $1.25 
pool tables, cheap beer, a 
bevy of video machines, 
hockey, music videos and 
other eye candy on the tel- 
evisions and pretty good 
music playing over the PA. 
The problem, ultimately, is 1 
that the Hangar is a multi- 
purpose room that doesn't 
do any job very well. There are not enough windows for a food 
court, but way too many for a pub, and the length of the room 
means that tfiey always screen off part of it to try to fake intimacy. 
Still, not all bad. and the new Wednesday Retro Night shows prom- 
ise of being a good event, despite the room itself 
With all this as background, I expected the show by Holly 
McNarland and the Matthew Good Band to have some faults. What 
I did not expect was that these bands would be bad. I've heard 
music in the Hangar before, and I know it has a nasty echo and a 
clang that no amount of engineering with tools more subtle than 
dynamite can correct. It is a Hangar, after all. I expected it to be 
cold too. and 1 vras not disappointed. When the Matthew Good 
Band hit the stage, they immediately started complaining. This is 
not ingratiating stage paner. At one point the lead singer (shouter?). 
after having to change guitars twice in quick succession, called the 
stage a "doorway to hell". Some of the crowd recognized a few of 
their songs, and they danced and jumped around a bit, but even 
their iuke-warm reception at the front of the room (people cooled 
off fast as they got further from the stage) could not rescue this 
band. This was performance, but not entertainment. 
After a 35-minute intermission (it's a good thing there were pool 
tables and video games) Holly McNarland came on. I'd read a 
bunch of reviews of her music and several interviews, and I'd come 
to the tentative opinion that she was an idiot, but I had never heard 
her music (except for the one, short-lived single, "Numb") and I 
approached her show with a nearly open mind. MCA is a pretty 
good label, and they have some passable scouts, so 1 was hoping 
they'd found a winner here. Sadly, 1 was disappointed. Holly's 
voice, which had been touted as something special in the press, 
wasn't. Even given the acoustics, her voice seems to have only 
two modes: a quiet one that could qualify as "nice", and a loud one 
that seems to have trouble with tuning. If you want to hear a band 
with a great singer, check out the local band, Lilith. Now, there's a 
voice-with a range from Marianne Faithfull sweetness to late-Joplin 

Holly also seemed to lack 
any sort of stage presence. 
Her comments ranged from 
a flat delivery of the obliga- 
tory "How's everybody to- 
night?" to complaints about 
the room. This is the per- 
former that people came to 
see, and they seemed to 
have trouble enjoying it. 
People kept playing pool, 
and several, myself included, 
! ^^^kb. i^^ft 1 headed for the coat check. 

It doesn't help that she 
seems to have only two tools at her song-writing disposal; anger at 
inadequate men (justified. I'm sure) and coarse language. 
It is possible to see good live music at the Hangar. Someone with 
a bit of talent and energy can transcend the room and play a great 
set. Lindy did it last year, and I'm sure there have been others 
more recently. It is also a great chance to see a band with just a 
few hundred people at a distance of less than ten feet. However, 
the Hangar is not a good place to see a half-assed band without the 
talent to really shine. Sadly, the Matthew Good Band and Holly 
McNarland fall into that vast middle ground of mediocrity, and the 
Hangar swallows them up with only a substantial echo. 

Page 6 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 


U S I c 

E V I E W S 

Bobby Brown. Forever (Universal) Sublime, Second-Hand Smoke Marilyn Manson, Remix and Re- 

(Gasoline Alley/MCA/Universal) pent (Nothing) 


^^il^^^ .... In the last couple years, Bobby has 

^I^^^K^ been keeping active with his new 

sjB^^^^^L family, and has not really produced 

I^^^^^^^Bl any new music... until now. Forever 

I ^^^^^^H is Bobby Brown's first solo album in 

1^^^^^^^^^^^ over five years. However, quite a few 
^^^^^^^^K things have changed since then. This 

^HHPIIPPt^,,,,^ time around, his traditionally upbeat 

style of music has been combined 
with a number of sultry and affection- 
ate ballads producing some very tender love songs. 
His deep and intricate lyrics reflect his own life and the intimate 
relationship he has with his family. The album starts out with 
Whitney Houston, his wife, singing "Nobody Does it Better" which 
is a loving tribute to her husband. From there, Bobby picks up the 
tempo and sings "It's Still My Thang" a song which also features his 
sister, rapfwr Carole Brown. This song is a follow-up to his 1988 
hit "My Prerogative". 

This album possesses a funky beat blended together with lyrics 
displaying his unconditional love for his family. However, it often 
seemed that some of the songs ran together and none of the tracks 
established distinct and original content. After a while, all of the 
songs merged together to a disappointing effect. 
Only a few tracks seemed to stick out; "It's Still My Thang" and 
"Give it Up" offered an interesting blend of voices and beats. Many 
of the songs seemed too sweet and repetitive, and did not reflect 
the talent that we have come to expect from Bobby Brown's pre- 
vious albums. The work Bobby did on the Ghostbusters II sound- 
track with the song "On Our Own" was far more enjoyable. 
Still this album has relatively good music that is easy to listen to. 
making it an effort that many people will enjoy. However. 1 caution 
any old fans who want to purchase this album that his style has 
changed and Forever is nothing like his old albums. 

Jonatha Brooks, 10 Cent Wings 

Olivia Rallis 

Don't be fooled by the name — 
Jonatha is not missing an "n" in 
her name. 

Formerly of the musical group jo'trjlh? br^^C^.^ 
The Story. 10 Cent Wings is 
Jonatha's second solo album, and 
on her own she makes a strong 
impression with melodic guitar- 
based music that is definitely 

Upon first listen, I thought that 
her singing style and the instru- 
mental arrangements were reminiscent of Jann Arden . Both song- 
writers share lyrics which express disillusionment tn relationships. 
Though, unlike Arden, the majority of Jonatha's songs are mid- 
temp with a bright mood. Though songs such as "Secrets and 
Lies" seem uplifting, the lyrics are often bitter: "Maybe if you're 
lucky you will have your sunny day/once a lifetime, maybe twice" 
The music has a pop/folksy sound, though on songs such as "Glass 
Half-Empty" and "Last Innocent Year" there Is an edge to the mu- 
sic which displays a willingness to discover new ground. The song 
"Last Innocent Year " has a Spanish, flamenco style, which gives the 
album some spice. This sort of experimentation provides enough 
variety throughout the album to satisfy a listener and prevent pos- 
sible boredom. 

Overall, Jonatha Brook's / 0 Cent Wmgs is a good album, so if you're 
looking for some new music, this is an ideal choice. 

The opening few minutes 
of Second-hand smoke 
sound promising... until 
the lyrics come in: "I want 
to hold her head under 
water..." The happy, up- 
beat, faintly ska or reggae 
flavoured music continues. 
The entire CD consists of 
a jambalaya of all sorts of 
music, with sampling from 
tunes like Gershwin's Sum- 
mertime, telephone converstions, and police scanners. There are 
even some hip hop influences on track 1 8. a remix of "doin' time" 
by Eerie Splendor. Gwen Stefani is featured on track 1 2, "saw 
red". The music sounds in one moment like it wants to make it 
onto a Tarantino soundtrack, the next like it belongs in "Swingers" 
or even on a snow/skateboard video. These guys from Long Beach, 
California were obviously influenced by bands such as the Chili 
Peppers and the Butthole Surfers. 

Taken at face value, this music can't be taken seriously. As the pre- 
vious quote may suggest, the lyrics themselves are not particularly 
intelligent. Note the Parental Advisory label on the CD cover It's 
made by a bunch of drunk guys that like to sing about whatever is 
most prominent in their thoughts: women ("chick on my tip"), 
drinking ("drunk drivin'"). or new studio equipment ("had a dat"). 
This 1 9 track CD of over an hour has a few bright moments but is 
neither cohesive as an album, nor are many of the songs cohesive 
in themselves. Overall, this CD is OK. 1 have to admit that I liked 
it a little bit more each time I listened to it. However that's not 
saying too much considering my first impression. Proceed at your 
own risk. 

Our Lady Peace 

January 17. 1998 
Maple Leaf Gardens 

Kim DeCastris 

Canada's newest big band played a 
sold out show at the Gardens' last 
month. To go along with the carnival 

theme of their last album. Ciumsy, the stadium began filling to a 22 
minute episode of The Twilight Zone, "The Dummy", appropri- 
ately a story about an evil ventriloquists' dummy who takes over 
his "owner's" life. Starting off with their new single, 'Automatic 
Flowers", the band played nearly an hour and a half of singable 
tunes, complete with visual aids. During "Naveed" "The guy with 
the crazy eyes" (the man on the cover of their debut album) was 
featured on a large screen 

behind the band, reading the poem by Marc Van Doren from which 
the band took their name. 

The reaction to most of the songs, singles especially, was great. 
Lead singer Raine Maida is a bom story teller Before "Trapeze", a 
much coveted OLP B-side, he told a story about Russian trapeze 
artists, a married couple, with a slight realtionship problem, "...and 
his mind started to race, two days ago. two weeks, two months, 
and he realized My wife is f"'\ng the human cannonball!" It's in- 
teresting how other people's misfortunes can bring such a loud 
round of applause. Maybe it's just the accompaniment of the f- 
word that sets people off. 

Right up until their two song encore, most people were on their 
'eet. singing along. Highlights included Raine's stage diving, and 
hen stumbling back to the stage, and his singing to bassist Duncan 
Coutts before pummeling him viciously 

The band played strongly, although at times it was hard to hear due 
to the fact that Raine had almost the entire Gardens' as back-up 
vocalists. Finally he gave up on doing it himself, and got the crowd 
to join tn during "Star^eed". The guys themselves were energetic, 
altfiough for the first few songs you could almost feel the tension. 

Milena Placentile 

I hate Marilyn Manson. 
Was that too blunt? Does 
that make you think I'm 
going to automatically 
trash his most recent disc, 
I Remix ond Repent? Hhhm. 

Read on. 
I Lets start at track one... 
What's this? Jazz? Swingin' 
Seventies Horns? iSsec- 
I onds later it introduces 
the Manson groan we've 
all come to recognize. Okay - now 1 know what's going on. "The 
Horrible People" starts off the five track set and, to be honest, on 
a good note. So far. not much has changed - it's the same song as 
"The Beautiful People" but with a little more motivation for danc- 
ing. The time between 1 minute 50 seconds until 2 minutes 3 sec- 
onds is very cool again. To conclude, a Loony Toons sample? What 
just happened there? 

The "Tourniquet Prosthetic Dance Mix" is an odd excuse for a 
sultry dance number, that's for sure. Not much has changed here 
except for the half timing; notfiin' big here. 
"Dried Up, Tied Up and Dead to the WoHd "(Live in Utica, NY) If 
this song were initially on another one of his discs. I'm sorry I don't 
know about it and I can't compare it. The chords are too predict- 
able, the melody is an angst ridden monotony. The chorus is, well, 

Oooooooooh scary - Addams family on acid instrumentation into 
a mock Facist rally's chanted shouts. It's "Antichrist Superstar "(Live 
in Hartford, CT ). There isn't much to comment on it. I would 
c6mment on the lyrics, but I can't hear them (except for the occa- 
sional "Yeah, yeah!" and "La Luna mother fuckers"). I wonder 
how many Halls drops this guy goes through in the average day 
Now for the grand finale, "Man that you Fear" (Acoustic Requiem 
for Antichrist Superstar). An unknown televangelist opens the track 
with Manson on an ol' fashioned guitar to follow. There is the odd 
feeling of autobiography to this track and you almost feel sorry for 
him and then you realize the whole point of his theatrics - to screw 
with your head. Ah, forget it. 

But then the song just ends. What happened there? Did they run 
out of recording memory? Did he die? This is not exactly going 
out with a bang and it makes you wonder (in a good way) about 
him. his whole shock rock value system, and the point of the CD. 
Overall, Remix and Repent is a solid effort, but we've got to won- 
der why. 1 don't know who Danny Saber or Sean Beavan are, but 
I think that as the remixers they have something to do with it. 
This 23 minutes is a disc for die hard fans and DJs. Then again. I'm 
keeping my own copy - 1 don't know if 1*11 ever listen to it, but its 
not lousy enough for me to give away. 

This is the home town crowd, and what a crowd it was. 
The set itself was nicely mixed, with songs from each album, a B- 
side. an alternate, slower piano version of "Julia" donated to the 
band by a "friend" (Note— this is NOT an "Ode to Chantal"). and 
an amazing cover of the Beatles' "Dear Prudence", which, as Raine 
informed the crowd, was written for Mia Farrow's sister 
Overall it was a very energetic, upbeat show. The band has been 
known to observe the lack of ballads in their repetoire. but many 
fans found various slow spots worthy of their lighters. The place 
was virtually lit up at times, and fans seemed more than pleased 
with the showmanship of OLP as a whole. 


Fort Williams Gardens 

Tliunder Bay, ON 


Sudbury Arena 

Sudbury. ON 


Thomson Arena 

London. ON 


Windsor Arena 

Windsor. ON 

1 1 

Molson Cencre 

Montreal. PQ 

And one in Syracuse. NY. March I for $ 1 0 a pop. 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page? 

Interview with Duncan Chuck Mangione 
Coutts of Our Lady Peace Quartet 

Karl Mohr Audio-Yo, The Heck 

Kim DeCastrts 

Anybody who's been listening to the alternative 
and rock radio stations for the past year has heard 
them. They're everywhere, on MuchMusic's 
heavy rotation list, even headlining last summer's 
EdgeFest. After touring behind such bands as the 
Rolling Stones and Page and Plant, Canada's 
"Brightest New Hope" (for what, world domi- 
nation?) are currently headlining their first cross- 
Canada stadium tour. After chatting with a cou- 
ple Sony Music execs I managed to score a phone 
interview with Our Lady Peace's bassist, Duncan 
Coutts. The mandatory preliminaries, including 
3 discussion on the weather in Toronto, Alberta 
and Winnipeg, having been dealt with, the inter- 
view commenced. He speaks fondly and openly 
about times both before and with Our Lady 
Peace, and seems to admire his fellow band mates. 

Kim: A lot of your intervievt/s are really vague, 

Duncan: I know, but it's not really the important 
part. The important part is the music part, right? 
Kinri; For me, when 1 listen to a band I like to 
know vA\y they write the way they do, or about 
the hfstory of the band... 
Duncan: Well, that's cool. Yeah. I knew Raine. 
from a couple years before I went to university. He 
went to university in Tofonto. and got into a bond 
with Mike Turner by answering a classified odd. They 
were playing around in this sort of bond and they 
were writing and all that stuff, but they wanted to 
become more serious. In order to do that they 
wanted to find some different people to ploy with, 
and Raine hod known me from before. So he osfced 
me to come up from where I was going to school 
just to show them what a different bass player would 
be like. So I came up and jammed with them ond 
we hod a good time, end they soid "Join ifie bond. " 
This wos long before it was ever OLR and I said, 
'Well, you know. I'd love to. but I'm just back in 
school and I have my own band and I can't transfer 
credits from first year becouse / dfdn'f do so well'. I 
was a ski bum for a year basically, and I'd just gotten 
back into school. I was kind of happy about being 
bock in school, so I said Thank you. but no thank 
you. Then they went on to get the guy who would 
be their first bass player, and they got Jeremy through 
on ad and became OLP Then two ond o half years 
ago they called me and soid. 'Hey, we 're parting ways 
with bass player number one, would you like to come 
for an audition?' 
Kim: And you said yes. 

Duncan: / dropped the phone and then I picked it 
up and said, 'Okay, now don't screw with me. you're 
(adding right?' They said, 'No, no. no. come for an 
audition'. So that's the more in depth story. 
Kim: So, by that point they were a big band al- 
ready? Fairly established? 
Duncan: Yeah, they were touring the last part of 
Noveed. You know, they d sold over a hundred thou- 
sand records by that point. 
Kim: I know that when I got into the band it 
wasn't really cool to like Our Lady Peace- 
Duncan: (laughs) Oh. really? Oh, I was a fan 

becouse I'd known the guys. They'd let me drop in 
on sessions while making Naveed. and t was there 
when Raine wos getting the "fsgone. is gone, is gone" 
port recorded for the song "Naveed". t was sitting 
in the control room watching. I've been on the pe- 
riphery in a weird way, just as a friend, you hiow? 
Kim: When you played "Julia" in concert, a lot of 

Ed McLaughlin 

Great news for jazz fans, the hep-cat in the top 
hat is back! Chuck Mangione brought his amaz- 
ing band, to the Ford Centre for the Performing 
Arts, last weekend. A sold out house of appre- 
ciative fans were treated to some of his greatest 
hits, and we loved every minute of it. He is back 
on tour after a self imposed hiatus from the mu- 
sic business and judging by his playing, when I saw 
him on Friday, the rest has done him good. 
Speaking to him on the phone from Florida, he 
told me that he was really looking forward to 
coming to to Toronto because this city has been 
very special to him over the years. The first time 
he came here, way back in the early 70's, only 
400 people showed up. The next time he ap- 
peared at Massey Hall it was sold out, and it's 
been that way ever since. 
*A lot of f>eople think I died around 1 98 1 because 
the record company that sold millions of copies 
on vinyl never put the 'Children Of Sanchez' out 
on CD in the United States, and you know peo- 
ple begged for that record. The same company 
has released released it in Germany as double 
CD. So that's been a little frustrating. There's a 
whole new generation of people that come out 
to hear us play and they say "Wow I'd like to hear 
that", and they can't." 

He started the first set with "The Ballad Of The 
One Eyed Sailor", a song he had recorded with 
the Hamilton Philharmonic back in 1973 , that 
got the crowd bouncing around in our seats. Next 
was "Dizzy Miles" a bebop homage to legendary 
jazz trumpeters Dizzy Gillespie and Miles Davis. 
His Bass player, Charles Meeks, handled the vo- 
cals readily, showing great power and range. 
A highlight, was a duet between Mangione and 
his brilliant guitarist Grant Gelssman, on a 
heartachingly beautifuH version of "My Funny Val- 
entine". Marisol Espada on cello, James Bradley 
Jr. on drums and Ray Martinez on percussion, 
round out the band. 

I spoke to a fan after the show, who complained 
that it's been eight years since Mangione played 
in Toronto, and he hoped we wouldn't have to 
wait that long again. Me too. Like the title of his 
double platinum hit says, his music makes you 
"Feel So Good". Here's even more great news, 
three of his albums will be released as CD in 
North America this March. Welcome back Chuck, 
we've missed you. 

people started screaming out "Chantal!" I mean, 
obviously you know Raine and Chantal Kreviazuk 
have been conneaed... 
Duncan: Rea//y? 

Kim: ... In the media. . . 1 don't know if it's true, 
and I'm not going to ask that, because it's not 
important, but... 

Duncan: (laughing) No. you know what it is? 
That 's not a thing from Chantol. There 's a girl who 
about a year ond a half ago, maybe? Two years ago? 
She sent us a tape, we get tapes from a lot of peo- 
ple. Her name is Sarah Sfeene. She's from just 
outside Toronto, and she 's an aspiring singer/song- 
writer Actually, surprisingly enough she sounds a 
lot like Sarah McLochlan. So she sends us this tape 
with six songs on it, five of which were her own... 
Kim: And "Julia"? 

Duncan: Yeah, the sixth song was this rendition of 
"Julio". Raine actually got the tape first, and he 
freaked us all out. because it sounds so much like 
Sarah McLachlan. He played the tope and he was 
like, Guys, hey look. Sarah McLochlan really likes 
our stuff. He kinda tricked us. So, anyway, it was 
from that that we decided to toke it. decided to 
adapt it. There's been rumours thot it's an ode to 
Chantal and stuff like that. Someone actually wrote 
thot in a Winnipeg newspaper after we played it. 
and that 's a load of crap. 

Kim's interview with Duncan Coutts will be 
continued in the next issue of the Herald! 

Page 8 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

Milena Placentlle 

I used to work at a crappy retail clothing store, a store that I 
some people thou^t was cool. As a result we often re- 
ceived demos from musicians who hoped we'd give them 
some air time. Anyway... we ended up with two copies of 
this particular disc and I decided to permanently borrow 
one. My point? No money was spent by this reviewer to 
obtain this disc, and it's a good thing too. | 
Here is the situation: Mr. Mohr doesn't know whether he's ' 
Reznor or Sheppard and his split personality disorder is trau- 
matizing to the ear! In many cases "fusion" is good, but only 
if there is some talent to bridge the gap. 
I feel horrible to be so rough on the poor guy, but with lyrics 
like "So pick up your underwear, it's time to get dressed. 
We're going horseback riding in the midnight sun. If I 
squeezed out my eyes and fell blind in your thighs, would you mind?" how can I avoid it?! 
Take track four. "Skyscraper". Sure, a wee bit of cheese Eurotrash chords but otherwise a solid effort 
of samples and effects... until he starts singing! NOOOOO! Make it stop! How easy to remix this 
album and make it successful... Track 3, "France", is similar. The first nanosecond is cool but then its 
all shot to hell as soon as he opens his mouth. 

It's unfair to take only the first impressions, but when you get right down to it, that's all that counts. 
Honestly, 1 couldn't even get past the first 22 seconds of track five. Track six is Underworld gone 

Track eight, "Over the Etherscape", is this album's only saving grace and as a single I'm sure it could do 
well- Despite all the other krud, this track (and a jazzy number ten) stands out as accomplished. 
If I'd been rushing wild while reviewing this disc I'm certain that I would have discovered more re- 
deeming qualities; but i wasn't. In all honesty, I'm glad 1 didn't spend any money on this one. But, being 
kinder for a moment, ttiis disc has potential. It could go places in a pop-techno market but not until 
Karl silences himself and lets the synths do the talking. 

If you don't believe me and vrant to find out for yourself: Joe Radio: RO- Box 1 98 Station B, Toronto 
Ontario. M5T2W I. 1-800-563-7234 


(Space Permitting, The Future of Music) 

Ralph the Wonder Llama 

Do I know how to write a headline or what? (Sorry to all of you out there who read this just because 
of the title, but I really need to keep this writing job, and the music editor is a real bitch about making 
sure your story has a good hook). If you want to learn the best kept secrets about sex, then read our 
new sister paper called the Innis After Hours Under Satin - this week features kitchen utensils. Enough 
of this, on to music. 

So v^at is the future of music? Some say it 
is a bunch of guys dressed in animal hides 
sitting around a bonfire banging plates on 
their heads, while other say it is a bunch of 
politically correct guys dressed in all natural 
cotton fibres sitting around a solar-powered 
heater in complete silence because noise 
pollution is bad. And so is fire, and style for 
that matter. I mean, who the hell could wear 
nothing but cotton? What about swish 
synthetics and other shiny stuff? But then if 
you are lame enough to be into that kind of 
stuff looking suave on the runway probably 
isn't one of your major concerns, but I di- 

I'll tell you what the future of music is. It is the present. No, that's not some 'deep and intellectual' 
philosophical statement intended to sound smarter than it really is as you could expect from some 
mom's sister who's really a man, or the Bi-Way Flyer Super-pak. 

1 mean that in the most literal sense, tomorrow we will be listening to what we are listening to today. 
Yeah sure, it may be packaged slightly differently. Instead of the Spice Girls or the 'up my Backstreet, 
Boys' it will be the Condiment Ladies and the 'Ooh sailor, 1 never knew a parrot could fit there, Lads'. 
Whatever the group is, the music is still the same. [ Note for me: Add in more Spice bashing material 
here) But don't get me wrong, I like the Spice Girls. Their music 
videos are especially great once you hit mute. Except they should be 
running around more in the videos. You know, like they do on 
Baywatch. Now that is a great program. No no no, the models in 
skimpy swimsuits bouncing around the beach, pardon me, running 
around the beach is NOT why I watch the show. 1 watch it for the 
deep and complex story-lines. 

I am always surprised when a) A sea monster attacks b) Pirates attack 
c) Someone swims under the pier and gets into trouble. And 1 love 
how each episode has a unique and surprising ending like a) Mitch 
beats up the terrorists b) Mitch consoles CJ with his love and wis- 
dom, and then finds some terrorists to beat up c) Baywatch runs out 
of women's bathing suits, so Mitch beats up some terrorists while CJ 
has to run around in a man's bathing suit - man would I love to be a 
drowning victim that day. David Hasselhoff rules. 
Just when you thought nothing could top his Knight Rider role, he 
blasts back on the scene as a geriatric lifeguard among some of the nicest breasts in Hollywood. What 
was 1 talking about? Oh yeah, music. Whatever. Just shut up and listen to the Baywatch theme - how 
sweet it is. 

the valentine's dav sex oaae 

Feverish Flicks: Your Top Ten Video Guide to a Sexy Valentine's Day 

Diane Sidik 

What is the ultimate test of true love? Some may 
say that it is in death, and from these examples, 
love and tragedy are inextricably linked: When 
Romeo discovers his fair Juliet in a stone cold 
slumber, he takes his ovm life; Sid Vicious stabs 
Nancy to near death v/hile in a state of morbid 
devotion; Bonnie and Clyde dance to their de- 
mise in a rain of bullets. Slowly but steadily the 
phrase "Together forever, 'til death do us part" 

rings with deafening clarity. „„„ ^^^^ neighborhood video store and enfoy! 


Natural Bom Killers 


Betty Blue 


Bound (sexy, sexy, sexy!) 




Tnje Romance 


Heavenly Creatures 


Bonnie & Clyde 


The Hunger 


Sid & Nancy 


Romeo + Juliet 

Sexy Susie 

For the benefit of your Valentine's adventures, we at the Herald contemplated providing you with a 
comprehensive review of the top ten most popular condoms. But really, if people are thinking about 
the analyzing and grading of a condom, then they just aren't having a good time! 
Despite this, we still realized that we wanted to provide you with some useful information about 
selecting condoms. 

I went to Lovecraft (Located at 63 Yorkville Ave.) to do a little bit of research. 1 was curious; which 
brand of condom is the most popular? A very helpful and knowledgeable staff member informed me 
that since everyone is different and has different preferences, they select their favourite, but until they 
do it ail depends on which ad campaign is most popular at the moment 

Today. Durex is the leader in marketing. They manufacture not only Shiek and Ramses but also Titan 
(you know the ones with the cheezy boxes depicting couples cuddling through an angelic haze?) So, 
despite which packaging catches your eye first, they're all of the same high quality. And. if you're 
concerned about texture... their thins are all equal; their ribbed are all equal. 

The favourite of the Lovecraft staff however, is Lifestyles Ultra Sensitve. Though it is very thin, none 
of them have ever experienced a breakage. And the bonus? No icky rubber odour. A second favour- 
ite, also a Lifestyles brand, is the studded texture condoms. For those who have never noticed the 
ribs on other condoms the v/ay they wanted to - the staff suggests you try these. 

^ The helpful and knowledgeable staff member discussed the Ki- 
mono brand condom which is made in Japan (hence the higher 
cost due to importing). Most people don't know this, but this 
brand actually has a smaller fit than the average North American 
condom. On the other hand, Contempo brands are made slightly 
larger but since there is no indication of this on the packaging, 
no one really knovre. 

Another often voiced concern surrounds Lambskin condones. 
What's the difference? These products are excellent for those 
with aller;gies to latex. However, they are not only more expen- 
sive but they are also not nearly as effective as their latex cous- 
ins in the prevention of STDs. 
Flavoured condoms are designed specifically for oral sex. Most 
of them are considered novelty items and are hence considered unsafe for purposes of intercourse. 
The biggest reason for this is that for the sake of the flavouring there is a lot of sugar which could lead 
to the breakdown of the condom. Furthermore, in the case of vaginal intercourse, it could cause 
discomfort. If you're curious though, in terms of coloured and flavoured condoms, the brand Trustex 
has been approved as safe for intercourse. 

Weird Local USA Sex Laws 

"Flavoured con- 
doms are designed 
specifically for oral 
sex...and are hence 
considered unsafe 
for purposes of in- 

• No man is allowed to make love to hrs wife 
with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on hrs 
breath in Alexandria. Minnesota. If his wife so 
requests, law mandates that he must brush his 

• Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames. 
Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three 
gulps of beer while lying In bed with you-or hold- 
ing you in his arms. 

• Bozeman. Montana, has a law that bans all 
sexual activity between members of the oppo- 
site sex in the front yard of a home after sun- 
down-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear 
socks, you're safe from the law!) 

• Clinton, OK has a law against masturbating 
while watching two people having sex in a car. 

• It's safe to make love while parked In Coeur 
d'Alene. Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to 
walk up and knock on the window. Any suspi- 
cious officer who thinks that sex is taking place 
must drive up from behind, honk his horn three 
times and wait approximately two minutes be- 
fore getting out of his car to investigate. 

• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot 
off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual 

• A law in Fairbanks. Alaska does not allow moose 
to have sex on city streets. 

• In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have 
sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth. 

• The owner of every hotel in Hastings. Nebraska, 
is required to provide each guest with a clean and 
pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are 
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may 
they have sex unless they are wearing one of these 
clean, white cotton nightshirts. 

• Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that 
a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar 

unless she has on at least three pounds, two 
ounces of clothing. 

• An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legis- 
lation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit 
on any highway within this state unless she be 
escorted by at least two officers or unless she be 
armed with a club". 

• The following important ammendment, how- 
ever, is to be considered here: "The provisions 
of this statuate shall not apply to females weigh- 
ing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 
pounds, nor shall it apply to male horses." 

• In Kingsville. Texas there is a law against two 
pigs having sex on the city's airport property. 

• In Merryville. Missouri, women are prohibited 
from wearing corsets because: "The privilege of 
admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body 
of a young woman should not be denied to the 
normal, red-blooded American male." 

• An ordinance in Newcastle, VS^omrng, specifi- 
cally bans couples from having sex while stand- 
ing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer! 

• In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make 
love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. 

• Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with any- 
one but your spouse. Next to that adultery, oral 
and anal sex, and masturbation are considered 
sodomy and can lead to imprisonment. Sex with 
an animal - unless performed for profit - how- 
ever is NOT considered sodomy. Polygamy - pro- 
vided only the missionary position has been ap- 
plied - is only a misdemeanor. 

• The only acceptable sexual position in Yfasti- 
ington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any 
other sexual position is considered illegal. 

• In the state of Washington there is a law against 
having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. 
(Including the wedding night). 

If you are unsure whether or not 
the condom you're planning to 
use is approved by Health 
Canada, take a look at the pack- 
aging. If you can find an expira- 
tion date and a printed lot 
number, then you have your 
proof that its safe to use. Some 
people wonder about expiration 
dates — my MAC lipstick even 
has one for crying out loud!! Is it 
really necessary to follow them h , 
on condoms? YES! Of course, 
if its a couple days older you don't need to worry but it is important to realize that since latex is a 
natural material it is suceptible to decomposition. 

What else? Lubrication!! Most condoms are lubricated, unless otherwise stated, with a water-based 
product. Some condoms come with a spermicide lubricant which is your basic monoxonol nine. If 
you find that the condom just doesn't have what you need - do not reach for the nearest bottle of 
vaseline, massage oil or whipped cream. Anything that is oil based will wear down the condom, mak- 
ing it ineffective. According to the Center for Disease Control in the United States, within as little as 
60 seconds of exposure, a 90% decrease in condom strength will occur. Don't believe it? Blow up a 
condom, place a dab of oil or lotion on it, and watch it pop! 

So - go to your local sex shop or drugstore and pick up a product that is designed to make things more 
comfy. Astroglide is the brand that sells most quickly - people like its thin consistency which is com- 
patible to natural fluids. However, the helpful and knowledgeable Lovecraft staff member was sure to 
advise me that, just like condoms, it all depends on the person and their needs. 
And here are a few more facts that you ought to know. Store your condoms in an area that will help 
shield them from heat because hot temperatures, humidity, and even ultraviolet light can contribute 
to deterioration. A common mistake is to leave a condom in a wallet, or in a glove compartment, or 
maybe even in a nightstand at home that may sit by a window. Also. Do not use a condom that has 
already been unrolled because this weakens the latex and hence increases the chance of the condom 
breaking during intercourse. 

Looking for further information? Try the University of Toronto's Sexual Education Centre by calling 
426-591-7949 or the Aids Sexual Health Info Une: 1-800-668-2437, Have access to the net? Visit and Condom Sense at http;//www.csense.coni/ 

Let us walk with you. 


It's back and ifs FREE lo aU within U. of T 
978-SAFE (978-7233) 

St. Grorgt cuapu lad ii 

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The Service b opcn^ed during 

roUowtng boun ol opentioa 

Februai7 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page 9 


The Upper Canada Brewing Company, b. 1985; d. 1998 


Upper Canada 


Cass Enright 

This is to com- 
memorate the Up- 
per Canada Brew- 
ing Co.. Toronto's 
first microbrewery 
and one of the first 
brewers to intro- 
duce interesting 
styles of beer to 
Torontonians that 
were unbrewed by Labatt and Moison. Upper Canada has un- 
dergone some troubles in recent years, culminating with an offer 
to purchase the company by Sleeman Breweries of Guelph. Up- 
per Canada will be remembered as a brewery that gave great 
tours, plenty of free samples, provided kegs to the public, and did 
its best to convince Torontonians to experiment with beers out- 
side of the uninteresting mass-brewed styles they grew up with. 
The Upper Canada Brewing Co. (UCBC) began brewing in To- 
ronto in 1 985. As Toronto's first micro. UCBC set out to provide 
Ontario with ales and lagers brewed according to the Bavarian 
Purity Act of 1 5 1 6. VV^ereas this code guarantees the ingredients 
of beer to conform to strict non-mass-market standards, it has 
prevented UCBC from experimenting with other ingredients in 
their beers. The code is to prevent the use of adjuncts, popular- 
ized by the large brewers, but at the cost of such potentially ben- 
eflcla] ingredients as fruit or spices. However, the UCBC has been 
very popular in Toronto, providing the city with quality ales and 
lagers and excellent tours to aid in beer education. 
The brewery has un- 
dergone a number of 
changes in its history, 
UCBC began priding 
Itself on its individual- 
ity, absorbing the 
costs of having non- 
twist off bottles to of- 
fer consumers the 
best bottled fresh- 
ness, something a 
twist off bottle cannot 
match. UCBC un- 

veiled their Lager and Dark Ale in August of 1985. follov/ed by 
their seasonal delight True Bock and Ught Lager in 1986. 1987 saw 
the release of Rebellion, commemorating the 1837 rebellion of 
Upper Canada. In 1 989 their Wheat debuted, and Publican's Spe- 
cial Bitter followed in 1 990, The new brew^ continued, with Colo- 
nial Stout in '9 1 and Natural Point Nine Lager in '92, The Pale A!e 
was unveiled in 1 993. Brewster's Scottish Ale in 1 99-4, Drayman's 
Tawny Porter and the 
seasonals Oktoberfest 

and Winter Brew in 
1995. However, it was 

with the release of tfie 

new Rebellion beers 

UCBC began to shift 

away from its original 

focus. I 

In April 1 996 UCBC un- | 

vei'ed a Rebellion Ale to 

complement the ori^nal 

Rebellion (which vifas a 

lager, renamed Rebellion 

Lager). New packaging was introduced, but the original Rebeiiion 
was gone, a very unique lager which was retooled poorly into the 
new Rebellion Lager. UCBC debuted two new and rather weak 
offerings, Woody's Wild Ale and Summer Brew. UCBC also went 
public. In a move seemingly to satisfy shareholders. UCBC moved 
to the industry standard bottle, the same used by the big brewers. 
Quite ironic - once this brewery was so proud of its custom bottle, 
bucking the system in favour of principles. Yet in March of 1997 
the old bottles were discai Jed forever and costs were cut. 
UCBC has been performing beneath expectations since its inidal 
public stock offering, absorbing a net loss of $0.5-4 per share for 
fiscal 1 996, This has forced UCBC to refocus its core line of beers, 
cancelling some of their most unique and flavourful. The Scottish 
Ale and Tawny Porter were ceased, as was the Summer Brew. The 
Pale Ale was cancelled, along with personal favourites Publican's 
Special Bitter and Colonial Stout. Their produa line is currently 
Lager, Dark Ale. Light Uger. Rebellion (both). Point 9. Woody's 
Wild Ale, Winter Brew, Wheat and True Bock. As profit was a prob- 
lem for Upper Canada in recent years, beer lovers were beginning 
to doubt it any brewing innovation could be expected. 
Upper Canada was recently doing a number of things to further 
educate the public about the merits of good beer, if not through 

brewing innovation, UCBC boasts probably the best beer news- 
letter In Canada, The Upper Canada Loyalist features articles, 
recipes, contests and other interesting things for UC fans. Upper 
Canada continues to support the local Toronto arts scene when 
possible, housing a gallery for local artists and frequently hosting 
fundraisers in the brewery itself The brewery is a beautiful old 
Toronto warehouse, nestled at the end of Atlantic Ave., just north 
of tite train tracks, near revitalized King Sl West, UCBC offers 
great tours, with free samples of their taps and various barley 
snacks. I have on numerous occasions tripped to die brewery 
with my friends for some fine brew and hospitality. UCBC is host- 
ing a "Seer Lovers Tour" of Europe in summer of 1 998, a 1 6-day 
trek through the woHd's most famous beer regions. And UCBC 
wit! gladly send out a set of labels to any collector who writes 
asking for them. For Information on any of this, give them a ring 
at 1-800-263-6160. 

Fans of Upper Canada were crushed on January 12, 1 998, when 
Sleeman Breweries announced an offer to purchase all outstand- 
ing shares of UCBC for $2. 75 cash and 0.43 3 of a common share 
of Sleeman for each share of UCBC. This takeover is a friendly 
one, as president of UCBC Terry Smith has already tabled his 
shares for purchase, Sleeman plans to move the brewing of Up- 
per Canada beers to Its Guelph plant, inferring a closure of Up- 
per Canada's wonderful Toronto brewery. Sleeman says they 
will continue to brew UCBC products, but it is probable their 
lineup will be further cut. This announcement shocked and sad- 
dened beer lovers in Toronto, as we will lose a local brewery that 
possessed a strong relationship with this city. The harsh reality of 
consolidation is setting in on the microbrewery industry, as many 
smaller breweries are dosing or merging and fewer new ones 
are being opened. All Toronto beer lovers can hope for is that 
Sleeman Is gracious enough to sell the old UCBC brewery to a 
local entrepreneur who could give life to a new Toronto micro. 


Cass Enright 

The Beers of Love *98 


Every Valentine's Day for the past two years, I have written a "Beer^ 
of Love", describing the best Valentine's Day brews, perfect for 
sipping and sharing or guzzling during comforting consolation. This 
continues the tradition of the Beers of Love, and there are some 
fine new brews available at LCBOs in Toronto appropriate for the 
Valentine season. 

Without question the most romantic beer 
style is Lambic. Originating in Belgium. 
Iambics are wheat beers, the closest beer 
style which exudes wine and champagne 
'■ qualities. The fermentation of Iambics is 
wonderfully unique: through spontane- 
ous fermentation, after the beer is ini- 
tially brewed, the vat is exposed to the 
Senne Valley atmosphere and wild yeasts 
randomly swift through the air, with a few 
lucky ones managing to find the vat and 
create a great beer. The LCBO has been 
unexpectedly enthusiastic about im- 
porting more brands of this style to To- 
ronto recently. One of the finest ones 
(soon to be) available is Mort Subice 
Cassis (3,7%. 375mL, $3,50), The 
brewery name "Mort Subite" translates 
into "sudden death" and definitely may 
be appropriate for toasting longing lov- 
ers or lost loves. Many Iambics are fla- 
voured with fruit, giving them wine-like 
qualities, but Iambics experiment more 
with exotic flavours. This brew is fla- 
voured with blackcurrants, and is just 
wonderful. Rush out to the LCBO and 
pick some up. 

Three Iambics are to be imported from 
the Liefmans brewery in Belgium soon: 
Goudenband, Krlek and Frambozen. 

Page 10 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

Their Goudenband (5. 1 %. 375mL, $4.45) is a Belgian brown ale 
with a rich and fruity tartness, perfect for forgetting about the past. 
The other two beers. Kriek (7. 1 %, 375mL, $4.90) and Frambozen 
(5. 1%, 375mL, $5.35). are typical fruit Iambics. The Kriek is prob- 
ably the most common fruit lambic. flavoured with cherries. The 
Liefmans Kriek is unusually strong, appropriate for motivation for 
Valentine's eve conquests. The Frambozen is also quite common, 
flavoured with raspberries. All are worth seeking out. 
For a taste of romantic France without leaving our great city, try 
Trois Monts (9. 1%. 750mL. $4.55) from the St Sylvestre brewery 
in France. This is an example of the French style biere de garde, a 
very strong, bronze-coloured brew, best described as a fusion of 
Belgian strong ale and French wine traditions. A romantic Valen- 
tine's Day dinner need not be accompanied by an expensive bottle 
of French wine; save the money with a Trois Monts and experience 
this loving holiday In the region of French Flanders. 
LCBOs have recently brought in what 
may be the definitive Beer of Love: 
Unibroue's most unique beer, Quelque 
Chose (8%. 750mL, $6.95) (you knew 
it was coming). Quelque Chose is a 
beer based on a Belgian style, a kriek 
meant to be drunk hot. Instruaions for 
heating accompany each foil-wrapped 
bottle. The label suggests a maximum 
drinking temperature of 70 degrees 
Celsius, minimum 30 degrees. The 
beer's name trnnslates as "Something" 
and this is an appropriate identifier. 
Quelque Chose is a wonderful beer, 
perfect for Canadian winters. Its deep 
red colour and raisinish aroma are tempting: its sour flavour and 
warming aftertaste are irresistible. Quelque Chose could be thought 
of a "Neo-Ci^n for adults." as I could not imagine feeling bad 
after savouring a bottle of this. Seek this out and enjoy it with some- 
one special. 

Canadian Brew News 

• No head, please, we're English: A Private Mem- 
bers Bill in the British Parliament has passed a second 
reading in their House of Commons, forbidding the sale 
of "short pints" to pub consumers who wish a full glass of 
beer It will soon be illegal for bars to serve a "pint" of 
beer if it is not a pint of liquid. Violators giving too much 
head could be prosecuted. This is a bill Mike Harris should 
look at for Toronto. 

• Peculiar happenings at the LCBO: The Granite 
Brewery, North Toronto's popular brewpub at Mount 
Pleasant & Eglinton, has arranged for the Hart Brewery 
of Ottawa to brew and bottle their house beer Peculiar 
for sale in LCBO stores. The Granite is following the 
trend of brewpub C'est What? whose Coffee Porter is 
brewed by Trafalgar of Oakville for the LCBO. Look for 
the 650mL bottles in April. 

• LCBO Recall: The LCBO has recalled the SOOmL 
bottles of Nova Czech beer and suspended sales after 
glass particles were detected in some bottles. The prob- 
lem seems to have originated at the source, and custom- 
ers can return bottles of Nova for a full refund. 

• Sleeman is ready to buy: On January 30, Sleeman 
Breweries commenced their offer to buy all the shares 
of the Upper Canada Brewing Company (see article on 
this page^ Go on a tour while you still can! 

• Labatt posts record earnings: The Labatt Brewing 
Co. ended its anniversary 1 50th year with record earn- 
ings, increasing by 1 5%, the fifth consecutive annual In- 
crease. In Canada, however, Labatt reported only a 
"modest increase" in total share. If the micros can't beat 
the big boys yet, at least they are keeping them at bay 

• Toronto beer festival scheduled: This summers To- 
ronto Festival of Beer has already been scheduled, for 
the weekend of August 7th-9th. More details in the fu- 


Bart Egnal 

What to do? The Raptors Lost World.... 

Stephen Marbury may be on the 
trading block--a possibility Toronto 
should look into. 

The Raptors are a mess and in shambles. The team loses again and 
again, is hit hard by injuries, suffered through the loss of Isiah (the 
Betrayer) Thomas and just can't seem to get its act together. It's 
all well and good to say that things will get better, but they won't. 
Here's my plan to restore the franchise to respectability: 

1 . Trade Damon. Do it now, Glen, before your indecision leads to 
him walking away and getting nothing. If you can, ship Camby out 
too. Some possibilities include sending him and Camby to Minne- 
sota for Stephon Marbury. The T-Wolves are worried about re- 
signing "Starbury" and would likely bite at a deal which garnered 
the more dependable and steady Damon. Steph would enjoy TO 
more than the Twin Cities. Sports Illustrated reported that the Nets 
were offering Kendall Gill, and the 
Sporting News printed that they'd swap 
Cassell for Damon. So ship Damon and 
Marcus (Gill is a tad small to play the 
3-spot in NJ) for Gill and Cassell. Other 
options include the Sacramento situa- 
tion. New York and Houston. Olden 
Polynice and Mitch Richmond who 
have both demanded trades in 
SacrBmento. What the hell.. .throw in 
Tracy McGrady while you're at it he's 
basically useless. New York's offers are 
not that great, and "Toronto shouldn't 
bite at Houston's pathetic offer of 
Kevin Willis, Matt Maloney, Mario Elie 
and Emmanuel Davis. Orlando has of- 
fered Darell Armstrong, Rony Seikley 
and draft picks while NY has offered 
Chris Mills and either Charlie Ward or 
Chris Childs-,...A!I around the league there are good and even spec- 
tacular players who want out. Ship Damon to one of these teams 
and salvage respectability. Charles Barkley put it bluntly: "Damon's 
not going to resign" he said. Trade him. NOW. 

2. Fire Darrell Walker. Wait'til the end of the season; there's no 
point in axing him yet. Darrell can no longer claim that injuries 
brought him down. His pathetic attempts to introduce the bull's 
triangle offense as well as his unfounded belief in a switching defense 
dug the Raptors into a hole they will not soon climb out of. Darrell 

Wag the Dog 

Ed McLaughlin 

A crisis in the White house involving the President molesting an 
underage girl has to be covered up because an election is only a 
week away Robert De Niro (Mr. Fix-it) is brought in to take the 
heat off the philandering leader of the free world. The best thing 
he can think of doing to fix the scandal is to create a phony war 
with Albania. So he hires a Hollywood producer (Dustin Hoffman) 
as the media impressario who takes on the job to create the illu- 
sion - through new digital technology. 

If youVe seen the trailers for this film on TY you don't really have 
to see the movie unless you're a die-hard fan of the leading men. 
The scene where the fictitious war is created in a TV studio is the 
highlight of the film. I felt that great talent in the supporting roles 
was wasted. Dennis Leary has a few good wisecracks but Woody 
Harrelson is only on screen for a few minutes, and Andrea Martin 
for mere seconds. Her name is on the credits for as long as her 
face is on the screen! I have the feeling that most of their perform- 
ances were edited out, which is too bad because they are fine ac- 

Director Barry Levinson's message is that our governments lie to 
us and that the ruthlessness of the political animal will go to any 
length to achieve Its aims. Most of us are sophisticated enough to 
know this already without this preachy effort. The best thing about 

this film is that it helps 

vindicate MIT profes- 
sor Noam Chomsky 
who has been telling 
us this about the me- 
dia/government con- 
nection for decades. 
The most amazing 
thing about this film is 
how it prophecied 
the present media 
circus around 
"Zippergate." Does 
life imitate art or does 
Noam Chomsky is the man art imitate life? 

Talented yet brittle 



should be traded for 

a more durable and 

dependable talent 

has also lost the fire that helped him to 
motivate last season, and is chewing out 
the wrong players (ie. Doug Christie). It 
is clear that he has lost the respect of his 
team, and his X's and O's strategy is aw- 
ful. The man to pursue is George Karl, 
Though it is doubtful that Seattle will let 
him go when his contract expires, Karl 
has expressed that he is angry and dissat- 
isfied with the v^ray that the Seattle own- 
ership rebuffed him when he went to re- 
new his contract. If you dangle a large 
enough carrot (ie. a 5-year 
deal of Pitinoesque stature 
and the reins of the GM po- 
sition) he might be per- 
suaded to switch to the 
Raps. If not, look for a solid 

coach like Utah's Rick Majerus (who unfortunately has 
made it clear that he will not coach due to the long 82 
game schedule) to teach the Raptors to play funda- 
mentally sound basketball. 

3. Axe Glen Grunwald. Look, I know Glen's a nice guy, 
but nice guys finish last in the vicious world of the NBA. 
What we need is someone tough like a Pat Riley. If we 
get a coach-GM (ie. George Karl) then so be it. But 
Glen has proven himself by doing absolutely nothing. 
He's in over his head and is too hesitant to trade 
Damon for fear of making a crashing mistake. In this 
case, something has to be done. A new GM must be 
brought in NOW 
It's pretty obvious that something is wrong — even with a [rela- 
tively] healthy team, the Raptors are still 2-8 in their past 10. And 
it's not like the Lakers, Knicks, Heat and Bulls haven't had super- 
star injuries let's cut the crap and the excuses. The time to act is 

now, before Toronto wakes up and realizes they're paying up to 
$ 1 00.00 to watch a team with no chance in hell of winning. 
Email me: 

Visit my website: 

Jackie Brown 

Written and Directed by Quentin Tar^ntino 
Miramax Films 

Dan Zachariah 

As a huge Quentin Tarantino fan I was, needless to say anxiously 
awaiting the release of his third rt\m. Jackie Brown. Many people, 
including myself, were convinced that Tarantino would create a 
rim destined to go down in cinematic history as a visionary master- 
piece. Some critics were disappointed with the results, feeling that 
Tarantino opted for convention over creativity by playing it safe. 
The film bears some in-depth analysis in order to appreciate it as a 
classic. This does not mean it is any better or any worse than his 
two previous films. In some ways, we are looking at an example of 
the new realism that has been weaving Its way into the fabric of 
contemporary cinema. 

There is plenty of violence (although it is much less gratuitous than 
Reservoir Dogs) and spontaneous developments that catch the 
viewer off balance. As with all of Tarantino's films, the politically- 
incorrect humour and dialogue are outrageous; there is no direc- 
tor in Hollywood today who has the guts to take on similar risks. 
The plot, which involves drug-running, double-crossing, and in- 
trigue, is enticing if somewhat confused. All the performances, 
particularly those of Grier, DeNiro, and Jackson, deserve strong 
praise. Jackson, for one. is quickly establishing himself as one of the 
great character actors of our time and Grier's performance makes 
us wonder why she squandered her talents on numerous forgetta- 
ble disasters. 

The strange narrative twists and quirks of previous films have been 
minimized in order to focus on the emotional and dramatic ten- 
sion created by Grier et al. By most standards. Jackie Brown is a 
terrific success. Indeed, chalk up another cinematic victory for 

The Enigma having some dinner 

The Jim Rose Circus and 
His Fellow Freaks 

Cass Enright 

I had always been curious of the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow, one of 
the last remaining sideshow acts desended from the Coney Island 
freak shows of the early 20th century. I had seen Jim Rose on TV 
before, once on a documentary about sideshov«, and again as Dr. 
Blockhead on an episode of The X-Files. 1 greatly anticipated see- 
ing the Jim Rose Cirus when they performed at the Opera House 
on January 30th. 

Jim Rose gained notoriety on Venice Beach in California, allowing 
people to staple five-dollar bills to his forehead, v/ith the stipula- 
tion that he kept the money. After an unfortunate hour-long delay 
before the show 
began, Jim Rose 
burst onto the 
stage and immedi- 
ately stapled a Ca- 
nadian fiver to his 
head. The circus 

Jim was the MC for 
the show, loudly 
narrating the 
stunts, encourag- 
ing the freaks, and 
goading, insulting 

and disgusting the audience. The first act was Bebe the Circus 
Queen, who walked up a stairway of swords and lied topless on a 
bed of nails while Jim stood on her chest. The Enigma, a large and 
nearty-fully tattooed individual performed a regurgitation and sub- 
sequent re-consuming ritual of some hearty concoction. Mexican 
Transvestite Wrestling followed, with "Tickles" Valdez and "Sissy" 
Martinez bitch-slapping each other with their rubber dildos. the 

loser being 
the one who 
sucks the oth- 
er's dildo for 
a three- 
count. Judy 
"The Bull" 
Jenkins (362 
lbs.) and Katie 

Jim referees the bulge battle "The Pile- 


Wilson (404 lbs.) collided in a sumo wrestling match, interspersed 
with acts demonstrating their own personal talents. 
Jim Rose himself got into the fun, performing some of the most 
interesting stunts of the night, including razor blade swallowing (and 
bringing back up), pressing his face into broken glass while an audi- 
ence member stood on his head, acting as a human dartboard, and 
in something he doesn't do for 
just any audience (he claimed 
Toronto holds a special place in 
his heart), the Jim Rose Dick 
Circus. Jim twisted and 
squeezed little Jim into such 
shapes as The Wristwatch, The 
Hamburger, and The Broken 
Thumb. Curious readers can 
see many of these creations on 
the official Jim Rose web site, 
The final circus act to be intro- 
duced was Mr. Lifto. Mr. Lifto. 
as his name suggests, possesses 
the ability to lift objects, but 
unlike most of us would. He 
lifted (and rung) a bell with a 
duct-taped schlong. His show 
stopper was lifting, all simulta- 
neously, two clothing irons at- 
tached to his ears, a concrete 

block attached to his nipples, and a car battery hanging from his 
tongue, with the positive and negative connected. 
The Jim Rose Circus attracted a sold out. diverse crowd at the 
Opera House. I believe the media actually gives the impression 
Jim Rose is more disgusting and obscene than he actually is, how- 
ever the show did not cross any lines and was a lot of fun. This will 
be the last tour the circus will do of Canada for two or three years, 
but the next time Jim Rose comes to town it can be sure he will 
continue to regurgitate, with new life, the spirit of freak shows 

Mr. Lifto refuses to use 
his hands 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page II 


Ernesto "Che" Guevara: The Bolivian Diaries 

Heaven's Burning 

Alexi Manis 

Ed McLaughlin 

The Bloor Cinema recently screened the 1994 documentary of 
the Bolivian guerilla movement led by the revolutionary freedom 
fighter Ernesto "Che" Guevara. Upon entering the theatre, one is 
immediately confronted v^ith his haunting gaze from a poster of a 
famous photograph. This particular film captures Guevara's strik- 
ing features with images, both moving and still, from the post-Cu- 
ban period to his premature 
death. There is always a hint of a 
grin on his lips, and his eyes seem 
to have seen a thousand years. 
The mysterious beauty of the Ar- 
gentinian shines with the spirit of 
revolution. The documentary it- ^ 
self, however, does linle with 
randowm exerpts of Guevara's 
diary, and even less with the his- ^ 
torrcal background of the at- 
tempted 1967 communist revo- 
lution in Bolivia. 

The camera leads the spectator 
along the mountain paths and riv- 
ers by which Guevara and his 
comrades allegedly travelled. The 
calm beauty of the peaceful landscape is disrupted by the fearful 
passages translated from Guevara's diary. Many long shots linger 
on famous monuments and settings of the journey; the rocky shore 
where a young soldier drowned; the tiny school room where 
Guevara was imprisoned; the outdoor laundry table of a small hos- 
pital where his body was photographed by government officials. 
These images invoke both the horrific conditions and the heroic 
strength of revolutionary actions in Latin America. 
Several personal accounts are filmed, bringing to life the revolu- 
tionary events through surviving witnesses and allies. One peasant 
sits by a campfire outside his hut and recalls the night Guevara sat 
with him heavy in thought, A group of peasant women remember 
drinking, dancing and laughing until dawn with Guevara and his men 
who stumbled upon their village in the mountains. 
A great deal of the documentary, however, attempts to fill in for 
those testimonies that survive only on paper, mostly from Guevara's 

The House 
of Yes 

Albert Lacey 

This black comedy stars Parker Posey as Jackie-O, an unstable twin 
sister in a wealthy Washington, D.C. family that is obsessed with 
the Kennedy assassination. Parker, who people will remember from 
the movie Dazed and Confused as the bitchy senior cheerleader, is 
joined by a small cast of five characters including: Josh Hamilton 
who plays her twin brother Marty; Tori Spelling { I know what you're 
thinking. Tori Spelling! But she's perfect for the pan in this movie) 
who plays Marty's girifriend Lesly; Freddie Prinze Jr. who plays 
Anthony, Marty and Jackie-O's younger brother; and Genevieve 
Bujold who plays Mrs. Pascal, the children's mother Bujold, a vet- 
eran French -Canadian actress, also starred in David Cronenberg's 
Dead Ringers opposite Jeremy Irons. 

The film is set at the Pascal mansion in Washington, D.C. on Thanks- 
giving, 1983. A hurricane crashes outside as brother, sister, and 
mother await the arrival of Marty who has been living in New York 
for a year. No one is more excited to see Marty than his twin sister 
Jackie-O: But he's bringing a friend and Jackie-O hasn't taken her 

The film is based on a stage play by Wendy MacLeod who wrote 
the play after seeing "We Are Living In A House Of Yes" scrawled 
on a wall in a wealthy family's bathroom in Washington. D.C. She 
sees the play as being about the amorality of the wealthy classes, 
about people who have never been said no to. 
I saw this movie at the Toronto Film Festival and liked it. Parker 
Posey captivates as the glamorous, on the edge Jackie-O. The dia- 
logue is sharp and witty with most of the jokes aimed at Tori Spell- 
ing's charaaer. Genevieve Bujold is mysterious as the dysfunc- 
tional family's matriarch. My only complaint is the movie's quick 
running time. It's only 85 minutes, which seems short for a movie 

Page 12 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

own personal records. Some of his text is read over images of 
peasant meetings or bmily gatherings which the director has pains- 
takingly tried to restage. Many people v^o have even the slightest 
comprehension of Spanish have claimed that the translations of 
the peasant and government accounts are extremely poor. The 
translation of the diary, read in English with no Spanish text on the 
screen, is also subject to criticism, 
^ . Since the main body of the docu- 
mentary is Guevara's diary, the va- 
lidity of the information about his 
Bolivian travels is questionable. 
Whereas most of the available lit- 
erature and films describe 
Guevera's successful attempt to 
solidify communism in Cuba, little 
is known of his revolutionary ac- 
tion in Bolivia. As the primary 
source of information about this 
period, his diary reveals the gue- 
rilla tactics and evolving strategies 
to free rural peasants from the op- 
pressive elites, as well as the pri- 
vate suffering and ecstasy that ac- 
documentary recognizes the im- 
to represent it justly. 

companied his every day. The 
portance of this source but fails 

Tomorrow Never Dies 

Directed by Roger Spottiswoode 
Screenplay by Bruce Feirstern 
Eon Productions 

Dan Zachariah 

There have been so many James Bond movies over the years ( 1 8 
and counting) that it becomes bard to distinguish one from the 
next. They follow a relatively simple formula that continually at- 
tracts moviegoers: comic-book action and violence, sexy ladies, 
stylish sets, and exotic focales. Yes. it's predictable and devoid of 
substance, but these candy-flossed features are what brings us back 
in droves. 

The latest installment in the series is pure ^d unfettered fun for 
the whole family; a nice escape from the reality of our boring lives 
designed to satisfy our adolescent taste in entertainment. First, the 
sex: the gorgeous Teri Hatcher plays Paris, the latest in an infinite 
galaxy of former James Bond bed-mates who. like all the rest, found 
Bond's choice of careers to be, "murder on relationships" and slaps 
him in the face when she runs into him at a large party only to have 
sex with him before she's polished off the next martini. 
Her husband. Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) is the requisite evil 
maniac/genius who has delusions of grandeur and uses his media 
corporation - The Carver Media Group - to achieve his wicked 
ends (now that the commies are history, it appears corporations 
have become the latest enemy). And of course, there's his muscle- 
bound sidekick. Mr Stamper {Gotz Otto), a steely-eyed Aryan 
well-versed in the art of slow torture. 

A pleasant surprise is the addition of a female secret agent (played 
by the lovely Oriental actress Michelle Yeoh) who teams up with 
Bond to fuck shit up. It's nice to see a female character who can 
take matters into her own hands and compete with Bond on his 
own terms. Far too many Hollywood action films feature helpless 
females who shriek in terror at the first sign of trouble. 
Like all the other Bond films, only more so. Tomorrow Never Dies 
features the "Good-Guy Bullets/Bad- Guy Bullets" dichotomy; Bond 
uses Good-Guy Bullets which never miss their target, even if he's 
performing mid-air sommersaults whereas Bad-Guy Bullets are dis- 
charged through automatic weapons at point-blank range by the 
baddies yet have the curious characteristic of missing both Bond 
and his beautiful cohorts by a country kilometer 
But as everyone knows by now, it's all in good fun and I certainly 
vrasn't disappointed. The whole thing has become a parody of it- 
self, but therein lies its attraction. Tomorrow Never Dies is both high 
action and high 
comedy; not only 
do the sex and I 
action scenes » 
leave us breath- 
less with excite- 
ment, they force I 
us to laugh at I 
their utter ; 

Extreme close-up of a \ 
face in a rain-spattered ; 
window is the first thing 
we see in this enjoyable i 
thriller from Australian 
director Craig Lahiff. 
It's hard to tell what's 
happening for a few 
moments, and this 
opening shot foreshad- 
ows the rest of the 

story; for in this film nothing is at is really appears. 
We soon learn that the face belongs to pretty young Japanese bride 
Midori (Youki Kudoh) who is honeymooning with her new hus- 
band Yukio (Kenji Isomura) in cosmopolitan Sydney. They seem to 
be a stereotypical Japanese couple, she deferentially submissive, 
he all business and geeky. They have dinner with some of his 
coworkers (some romantic honeymoon, eh?), and while he stays 
to have a drink with the boys, she literally bows out to return to 
their hotel room. When 
he gets back to the 
room, she has disap- 
peared, apparently kid- 
napped. That would be 
far too simple a plot in 
this cleverly written 
script by Louis Nowra. 
Midori has faked her 
own kidnapping, but her 
lover wimps out, doesn't 
show up, and spills his 
guts to the police. When Yukio learns that he is the "most famous 
cuckold in Japan", he begins to fall apart mentally, and his radical 
transformation from nerd to road warrior is astounding. 
Midori, ironically enough, really is kidnapped in a botched bank 
robbery, the likes of which I'd never seen in a film before. In surely 
one of the most amazing and violent stick-ups since Sam Peckinpah's 
gloriously gory The Wild Bunch, and with Roxy Music's version of 
"The In Crowd" blaring away on the soundtrack, we are treated 
to some nasty action. This joint is so high tech. it has a burglar 
proof shield that shoots straight out of the floor pinning a robber 
to the ceiling, and suddenly it's freak out time. 
Cut to the chase, and it's quite a chase. This is one wild ride of a 
film, but it's more than just another very violent cops and robbers 
movie. There are sly comments on racism, stereotyping, people's 
need for freedom, and a large dose of cynical humour that gives it 
an unusual depth. A fascinating study of what desperation can do 
to us. and what can happen to those who won't settle for second 

Four Days in September 

Starring Alan Arkin. Fernanda Torres 
Directed by Bruno Barreto 


Just as the title suggests, this movie takes place during four days in 
September The story is based loosely on Fernando Gabelra's au- 
tobiographical. O que £ isso. campanheiro? Set against the political 
backdrop of Brazil, 1 969, Four Doys /n September is an adaptation 
of Gabeira's involvement in the kidnapping of the American Am- 
bassador to Brazil. A group of young idealists takes action against 
the oppressive Brazilian dictatorship. Although the impetus for 
the narrative is the political unrest in Brazil of this time, the focus 
of the movie is around the character development. Each member 
of the revolutionary group that Gabeira joins is fleshed out. I found 
the character Ren6 to be especially intruiging. She looks as though 
she is no more than eighteen years old. Yet. while in the getavray 
car during a bank robbery she turns and opens fire at the bank 
guard. In another scene, Rene, playing the innocent schoolgirl, 
seduces the Ambassador's chief security officer When the group 
is keeping the Ambassador captive, Rene is the one who washes 
his blood-stained shirt and the one to bandage his wound. The 
character Ren6 is one of the many, very human characters found in 
Four Days in September. 

Although the film is mainly a story of the interaction between dif- 
ferent groups of people, it also serves as a mental catalyst. In an 
interview Gabeira compared the youth portrayed in the film to the 
general political apathy found in today's youth. He hoped that the 
film could "provoke some thought ...that at that time there were 
some things that many young people thought worth giving their 
lives for" I enjoyed this movie for its characters and its thought- 
provoking subject matter This film probably won't be playing in 
many theatres but it is worth seeking out. 


Justine Jackson 


Waiting For Godot 

I must start this by writing that I am scarcely interested in actors 
and directors, so if you are expecting a rave about "that Leonardo 
guy", read it somewhere else. If you want to know who directed 
Titanic, go and see it, and watch the credits. That said, it's time to 
abruptly change the tone of this review, as a smart-assed 
commentary would not be in keeping with the nature of the film. 
We have all heard the story of the ocean liner Titanic to some 
degree. Almost ninety years after the fact, the tragedy and romance 
of that fateful night lives on. Now. the film Titanic uses this history, 
and skillfully blends into it a story of love and endurance that 
becomes more focal than the sinking itself The passionate struggle 
of a young woman to 
love at the expense of 
duty is enough material 
alone for a film. 
However, the story is 
heightened throughout 
by the sense of 
impending doom. 
Vibrant characters, 
richly designed visuals 
faithful to the details of 
the original ship, and 
ghostly footage of the 
wreck leave a lingering 
impression. It is a flm 
experience that still 
comes to my mind, a 
week after having seen 
it. There is so much to 
appreciate in Titanic, 

both in the story, and Artwork by Justine Jackson 
perhaps more 
importantly for myself, in the images themselves. 
From the moment the Titanic sails, we are treated to both stunning 
and eerie scenery. Aerial views over a calm sea express the sheer 
size of the ship, yet somehow point out how small Titanic is in 
comparison to that great expanse of ocean. Later, when an open 
corridor of the ship is shown, we see it bright and new in the 1912 

Slowly, the light fades, as if a cloud covered the sun. The walls take 
a greenish hue. and the encrustments of ninety years at the bottom 
of the ocean gradually, grow on them, until we see the corridor as 
it is today in its watery grave. There is a view of the ornate doors 
that once opened to the first class dining-room, delicate woodwork 
now shrouded in growth, and in the thick si lence of the ocean floor 
comes the sound of the past. The terrifying activity of the boiler 
rooms, red-stained steam wrapped around the gleaming bodies of 
the stokers as they feed fires whose heat seems to reach beyond 
the screen. A fantastically decorated stateroom with warm velvet 
draperies and furnishings fit for royalty. The elaborate costumes 
of the period, mingled with the tinkling of expensive crystalware 
and affected laughter. There is all ^is, and more. Perhaps the finest 

moment of all comes with a fiery sunset of pink and orange glory. 
This is the last sundown that Titanic and many of its passengers will 
ever see. At the bow of the ship, the lovers of the story stand 
beneath this beauty, caressed by the sea breeze. It is a wonderfully 
exhilarating scene, hauntingly accompanied by Celtic strains of 
music. And finally, in the darkness, after Titanic has descended 
into the cold depths, we feel the sheer enormity of the tragedy as 
we are faced by a sea of lifeless bodies, floating in masses on the 
waves. Here, silence is eloc|uent. 

Amid the grandeur and horror, the story and characters are alive. 
It has been said by some that the treatment of class in Titanic is a 
caricature, grossly 
exaggerated. This I must 
disagree with. From 
writings of that period, it 
is clear that the class 
hierarchy had a strong 
bearing on life, and I do 
not doubt that when 
faced with great 
adversity, ill feelings grew 
in ways that seem to us 
both ridiculous and 
terrible today. It is true 
that class played an 
important role in the 
story, giving us characters 
like the dominating, 
patronising fiance, and 
the mother who insulted 
wearing a well-bred 
smile. It gave us a young 
woman trying to escape 
the cage of her life, the carefree artist who had no material ties to 
restrain him, and the joyous abandon of a steerage revel. This 
richness was highly entertaining, and the twists in the plot as the 
end neared created a frightening and exciting climax. The 
interweaving of the past and present gave a sense of completeness, 
and at the conclusion, a sense of closure. 

There is so much more that could be written here. I could have 
made more mention of the special effects and computer graphics. 
However, the film itself says plenty about these. The wonderful 
intricacies of the story cannot be expressed here, nor can the 
grandeur and size of Titanic be written. These things you have to 
experience for yourself The moment when the ship is poised in 
its last seconds, standing hundreds of feet tall in the black water, 
with passengers clinging like ants to the railings, is something that 
must be seen. Views of the great ship on the ocean floor, every 
fixture frozen in time, are eerie reminders that what we are 
witnessing is real, that although we may become lost in the story 
and the romance, the tragedy is real. It is with all this in mind that 
I can write that Titanic is a spectacular film. 

Winter Is Coming ... Again. 

Andrew Lee 

For those of you who recognize that a little play called A Winter's 
Tale was written by William Shakespeare, you are welcome to my 
future English degree. The actual number of people who knew it 
ri^t away probably hold secret Shakespeare 
readings in a telephone booth, or are Professors 
of English. Needless to say this rarely produced 
play, soon to be put on by the Innis Drama 
Society, isn't one that people have seen too 
many times. Failing to secure an interview with 
the playwright himself, I had a brief telephone 
chat with the show's director. Jean Thomas. 
"People may not want to see another Romeo 
and Juliet or Macbeth", said Thomas. Maybe 
she's right. But. why go out to see this play? 
After all it's cold outside . . . {and I lost my 
mittens). Well, personally. 1 think that it is a 
good sign when the director chooses a play 
because she says that she is "In love with it ". 
Jean has no lack of experience in the area of 
directing . She directed in highscool, and 
perhaps some of you may have caught her both 
directing and acting in two plays at Hart House. The most recent 
of these being The Tempest. "I am working backwards through his 
career", she said referring to The Tempest and A Winter's Tale being 
the Bard's last two plays, in reverse order. I decided to find the 
comment charming . The 3rd year English specialist out of Vic has 
been that v^^y all interview. I have decided to find it to be the best 
phone conversation I have had all week. 

This romantic-tragedy, modernized in the Poor Alex Theatre is 
described as "structurally different" from most Shakespeare plays. 
The plot is started off with a King being jealous about his wife, 
suspecting an affair, and the wife having the 
King's baby in prison. Of course he suspects it 
isn't his. and we may well guess what happens 
next . . they go to marital counseling? No, this 
is a Shakespearean play. So that I won't spoil 
the surprise, 1 won't tell you what happens next, 
but it rhymes with "The King banishes the baby 
from the Kingdom". 

If it sounds like I am promoting this play. I am. 
I can't wait to review it, and see how Miss 
Thomas directs around what she has called 
"things that are production disasters". Come 
see something different. The price is right at 
$6 for students (us), and $12 for adults (not 
me). And if this article seemed a little vague or 
even cryptic, it is because Jean and her cast 
have just begun rehearsals and much of the 
details have yet to be worked out. Until March 
25th this play will have to remain mostly a 
mystery. Or if you don't buy that, those of you who received the 
secret decoder ring in your Frosh package may unscramble this 
article for the "real" anicle. It was later discovered that Shakespeare 
did in fact return my call for an interview, but I forgot to check my 
messages. Oh well, with her trusty stage director Janice Frasier. 
this is Jean's show now. 

Ed McLaughlin 

Theatre director Kate Lynch is now two for two. After last years 
critically acclaimed production of Henry V, at the University Col- 
lege Drama Program, she has returned in triumph again. Her ver- 
sion of Samuel Beckett's play Waiting for Godot is an unqualified 
success. She has cast several very able actors of the graduating 
class of the Drama Program, and coached them into giving what 
can only be descibed as perfect performances. It is amazing that 
such young actors have such a mature grasp of what is probably 
one of the most difficult plays to act in the English language. For 
instance, there are quite a few long pauses in the di^ogue and 
action, where nothing seems to be happening. It runs contrary to 
an actor's instinct to do nothing, and to do nothing while standing 
still in front of an audience is extremely difficult indeed. A director 
{Barry St Denis) once told me that the essential Beckett is in these 
pauses. 1 had no idea what he meant til I saw this excellent produc- 

These pauses force us, as an audience, to really think about what's 
going on onstage. The writer is also putting pressure on us to get 
involved with the performers, blurring the line between actor and 
audience, and redifining what we perceive as entertainment.Godot 
is very entertaining, however, and there is much humour to be 
enjoyed here. 

Two friends are down and out, sleeping in ditches and subsisting 
on the odd carrot or radish.They are waiting for the mysterious 
Mr Godot, who, although he never appears, sends a messenger 
boy every day {played by an angelic Andrew Craig) to tell them he 
will definitely come tomorrow. He doesn't, and it is left up to us to 
decide whether or not he ever will, and if it even matters. 
Vladimir {played endearingly by Kim Schraner) suffers from bad 
breath and a terribly weak bladder, and has to run offstage franticly 
several times to pee. His friend Estragon (Heather Code) stands at 
the side of the stage and urges him on, concernedly makingwhoosh- 

whoosh noises to {as if by sympathetic magic) help his pial urinate. 
Estragon, nicknamed Gogo. can't remember from one minute to 
the next what's happening, and has sore and very smelly feet. A 
touching moment {and there are quite a few) happens when 
Vladimir, nicknamed Didi, finds a pair of old boots and sniffs at 
them, grimaces in disgust, and then smiles as he recognizes the 
repugnant odour of his friend's feet. 

They are bored waiting, and devise little diversions to help pass 
the time, such as an excecise program that they give up after a few 
scant seconds because it's just too hard. It's easier to procrastinate 
and do nothing, except of course talking about doing something. 
Their boredom is relieved, for a while anyway, by the unexpected 
arrival of two of the strangest characters one will ever come across 
in theatre; Pozzo and Lucky. Looking remarkably like Alex from 
Stanley Kubrick's 'A Clockwork Orange" Pozzo {Dylan Smith) 
makes an unforgettable entrance with poor Lucky (Nancy 
Rosa). The ironically named Lucky {looking like death warmed over) 
is burdened by two very heavy luggage cases. A noose tied round 
his neck is held by Pozzo who also has a nasty looking bullwhip that 
he isn't afraid to use. Some very funny dialogue ensues between 
these new "friends", and this is perhaps the comic highlight of the 

Stage and costume designer Astrid Janson has created a decep- 
tively simple yet clever set. A bleak landscape is devoid of anything 
except a boulder and a spindly freaky looking tree. Gogo, made 
large by what looks like about a hundred pounds of padding, tries 
to hide behind it. and his vain attempts at concealment are quite 
funny Didi, in one his many "canters" around the stage, bounces 
out of a bog instead of sinking into it, and continues his run oblivi- 
ous to the laws of physics. 

The University is fortunate to have a teacher of the caliber of Kate 
Lynch. I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping she returns again in the 
near future to try for a hat trick. With her record so far, I bet she'd 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page 13 

Creations invention, whimsy and art 

The Touch 


"Everywhere i go, I'm asked if 1 think the 
universities stifle writers. My opinion is 
that they don't stifle enough of them." - 
Flannery O'Connor 


kiss given on Bioor Street 
becomes a political act 
when our lips touch 

^ f I out you Lori 

it's only because you make n 

to be 

out with you 

J proud 

'ne of your winks 
persuades me to rip up my schedule 
just to share another hour with you 
your eyes hold me in their jet stream 
and take me one level higher 
than t meant to go 

r our hands touch with the wisdom 
ofa goddess who has gathered 
carnal knowledge around her 
since before sex was created to share 


r he music of your groans makes a song of our nights 
and every note I share with you 
makes a promise in the sweat 
perhaps tomorrow 
perhaps one more time 
perhaps you'll phone 

again to dance on my sheets 

as' wft 

f ou bring class to faded flannel 
asl wrap you in my pajama top 
your breasts become my whole world 
one nipple lick at a time 

*y ou mal 

the masculif 

make me feel like a butch god 
ine to your irrefutable feminine 


I little taller a little brighter a lot better looking 
than the moment before first you kissed me 
you have absolutely energized my life 

✓ I takes courage to explore it 

for it is part of the life force 

a direct cord to heaven 

the first and last note in a good night 

'hich comes to the reason for this note 
1 just want to thank you 

for the touch 
the touch 

Linda Loucheaux 


I could not help but imagine how. to the children watching us from the 
playground, we must have seemed destitute. I admit to feeling a certain 
pride at this image, an excitement at being perceived as coming from 
the wrong side. And while I may not have lived up to tfiis representa- 
tion, my nephews and my niece certainty did. Our derelict posse v/as 
made of four constituents. There were the ten-year old twins, Geffen 
and Yarden, who were my elder sister's, and there was Alon, recently 
delivered by my younger one. 

The sun was relaxing over the Valley, now, and I squinted at the lush- 
ness that extended in both directions. The mountains of the Galil sur- 
vived the haie to the Nonh. and perhaps Haifa could be discerned in 
the Western sky. In the past, this view could circumvent my distant, 
urban sensibilities; it would allow me to behold, without cognition, a 
singular and undeniable beauty. But as we approached the playground, 
Yarden running ahead, Geffen limply holding my hand, and Aion trailing 
sullenly behind, 1 could not help but reflect. Even at this early age, they 
were all so unexpectedly different. 

My elder sister's financial difficulties were invariably betrayed by reck- 
less whispers at family functions. Her children suffered by association, 
it was widely agreed that their future was unsalvageable, that despite 
regular infusions of money by my parents into that branch of the family, 
they were doomed. This iS precisely why 1 felt so drawn to them. To 
me, their futures promised drama and perhaps a sincerity of being, some- 
how deflcient in my existence. Of course, they looked the part. Symp- 
toms of en tropic poverty corrupted their gay appearance: Geffen's wild 
hair fell ruefully over her eyes, and even her generous freckles ren- 
dered her undefrnabiy filthy; Yarden, on the other hand, somehow trans- 
lated his indigence into something proud, as though it were precisely 
his lacking which could indoctrinate him into a world more organic than 
I could ever imagine. And, as though to symbolize this, he wore a new 
pair of white running shoes that, in their extravagance, challenged the 
squalor that seemed threatening to encroach. 

Alon, born into the considerably greater financial stability afforded by 
my other sister, wore none of the class smuggle that his cousins did. He 
nonetheless carried a sobriety atypical of four year olds. His counte- 
nance promised an adult life of reclusive understanding, and possibly of 
a terrible violence. In walking with us, he extended this melancholy on 
the group, and we approached the playground with all the levity of a 

There were few children playing in the colourful wooden and metallic 
fortress that floated in the sand. The mothers guarded the periphery, 
chattering away in cigarettes and gossip, and each would occasion a 
glimpse at the center to comfort herself that no child had lost an eye, or 
had taken one. I was disappointed that they did not register any alarm 
at our arrival. ! sat on the grass and let the children run. Surprisingly, 
however, they did not run to conquer the fortress. Instead, they hov- 
ered close to me, Alon looking at the ground a few steps to my side, 
and Geffen playing with the sand. Maybe they were proterting me, feeling 
my awkwardness, or maybe they wanted to be near me. knowing that 
I would soon be returning, once again, to Canada. But Yarden, quickly 
appraising my deficiency as a paternal ^thority. took command, and 
began to entertain the others. I watched them, engrossed, as those 
who have grown without siblings often are when confronted with chil- 
dren. They were aliens, raised in a different country, and brought up in 
a foreign domestic context, I had grown up with a sort of Canadian 
reservation, compounded by my exile from my sisters. Now Yarden 
had climbed atop a small tower, and even Aion had emerged from him- 
self to admire. It was hard to resist Yarden in his charisma. But I could 
see that, now that he had scaled the tower, Yarden realized that he 
must come up with something in order to retain his audience's devo- 
tion. And I smiled at this, because I knew that he would. After a mo- 
ment, he disappeared, and came back up holding one of his shoes in his 
hand. I laughed, now. because it was a mediaeval scene, monarch from 
a balcony holding up the gleaming Grail. But. surprisingly, Yarden threw 
the shoe to the children below him. Alon retrieving it from the ground, 
gave it to Geffen who then threw it back up Yarden. I marveled at their 
young invention, and I laughed some more from the grass nearby. The 
shoe went back and forth, carving white trajectories across the pallid 

I was still laughing when a large dog suddenly appeared and intercepted 
the shoe before Alon could. In fact, Alon's fresh distress made me laugh 
even more, as the dog disappeared over the horizon. Geffen. seeing 
this, began to laugh wildly too, and even Yarden, from atop the tower, 
smiled broadly But when the dog failed to return from over the nearby 
hill, Yarden suddenly became alarmed. Noticing this, I stopped laugh- 

ing, but too late. Yarden charged down the tower and ran over the 
hill. Geffpn was, of course still laughing, and Aion resumed his medi- 
tations, t v/aited. lying on the grass with my head over my folded 
arms. After a few minutes, the dog came charging over the crest, its 
eyes wide open in panic and the shoe still firmly nestled in its wet 
mouth. A moment later .Yarden came running in pursuit and both 
dog and child quickly disappeared over another hill. The mothers 
were undisturbed. Maybe five minutes passed before this happened 
again, the dog being chased rabidly by a screaming Yarden. To me. 
the whole incident had a colourful innocence to it, and I felt as though 
I was narrating it as it happened, confident that it would be a happy 
ending. But when Yarden emerged from over the hill alone and limp- 
ing on his naked foot, I knew suddenly that life held such guarantees 
only in fiction. 

Yarden approached me cautiously, unsure if a reprimand was forth- 
coming, by way of my being an adult. I smiled weakly at him, unsure 
myself if I was in for a scolding by way of my impoverished sister. 
Once again, the child's unusual perception detected my uncertainty, 
and this education broke him into tears. To me. of course, this pro- 
moted the situation into one of immediate gravity. I was sure that the 
occassion called for me to feign authority. So, I reassured him that we 
would find the dog and that we would further lavish unspeakable 
horrors upon him upon his discovery. This had no effect on Yarden, 
who had correctly lost faith in my command. Placing my faith none- 
theless on the inevitably of a happy ending, I collected Alon and Geffen. 
and together, we marched after the dog. 

I am sure that ur silence was not bom of vigilance, but instead of my 
insecurity as a leader of this expedition and as the designated grown- 
up. The quiet was broken only by the wind that carved its way up 
from the Valley, and by Yarden's punctuated sobbing. I ventured the 
occasional assurance, but the words were inevitably empty. No sign 
of the dog. V/e walked, thus, through the neighbourhoods that sur- 
rounded the playground. The streets were empty, as everyone was 
lost in siesta. Perhaps a quarter of an hour passed, and Yarden's sob- 
bing had escalated into angry cries, i could think of nothing to say that 
would console him. Alon was still bringing up the rear, his eyes inces- 
santly scanning the ground. And Geffen no longer clung to my hand, 
but was instead hopping and murmuring to herself. Noticing that I 
was staring at her. she looked up at me and stuck her tongue out, 1 
did the same. She said suddenly that she knows where the dog lives, 
and Yarden pounced on her and began to punch her. demanding to 
know why she had said nothing before. I pulled him off and asked her 
if she could take us, and she nodded dumbly, saying that we all owed 
her a big favour. 1 agreed and we walked on. cutting throu^ backyards 
and porches, until after a few minutes we found the house, 
A man was walking about the garden, wearing short khakis and sun- 
glasses. I felt reluctant to engage him, unsure how to explain the situ- 
ation, but Yarden looked up at me and I knew that I had no choice. So 
I spoke to the man, in my broken Hebrew, and I explained that his 
dog had taken my nephew's shoe, without offering any of the details. 
He looked at me severly, then broke into a smile. He grabbed Yarden 
and shouted at him to stop crying, because Israeli boys aren't allowed 
to cry or else the Arabs v»fil| wage war, and furthermore, no child that 
he had taught how to swim Is allowed to shed a tear Yarden clung to 
this, and soon he was ail smile. The man told him not to worry and 
that within a minute the shoe would be retrieved. He disappeared 
behind his house, leaving me once again, broken, with the children. 
Yarden looked at me accusingly, wondering why I was not as strong 
as this man was. And I wondered the same thing, as 1 looked at the 
ground with Alon. Of course after a few minutes, the man reappeared 
with the sneaker In his hand, and of course the sneaker still glistened. 
The man barked at Yarden, demanding that the boy smile which, of 
course, he did. So I thanked the man, and he looked at me and he 
shook his head and he went back Into his home. 
We were even more silent on the walk back, but our formation was 
preserved. Alon would occasionally fall too far behind and I would 
call him and he would run to catch up. Geffen started humming to 
herself again, and Yarden was walking proudly, holding both shoes in 
hand. I thought about it for a few moments, then I came up to him 
and I said, "Don't worry, little man. We're gonna get that dog." He 
smiled, "Yeah, we sure will." 

Idan Erez 

Page 14 • The Innis Herald • February 1998 

poetry, prose and rumination CrCationS 

The Power Vested In Me 


Give everyone, a gun and we'll see 

The strong from the strong and the weak from the weak 

Give everyone, a gun and we'll see 

If peace brings war or war keeps peace 

Or if war brings war and peace brings peace 

And I shoot you and you shoot me 

Give each other a gun: 

And we'll see. 

Give everyone, a knife and we'll know 
The fast from fast and the slow from slow 
Give everyone, a knife and we'll know 
If there's any joy in the fatal blow; 
If you only knew what I could know 
They'd take us down to the ground below. 
Give each other a knife: 
And we'll know. 

Give everyone, and kiss and we'll see 

The strong from the strong and the weak from the weak 

Give everyone, a kiss and we'll see 

If friends could ever keep the peace 

Or if happiness has gone too deep 

If we are floating up the creek, 

If we are drowning in the streets, 

If we are dying days on weeks. 

If we are giving ourselves for meat; 

1 don't know anything. 
But give everyone a gun: 
And we'll see. 

Austin Acton 

Dream Medley 


Leaves falling on the rains. 

Indians do their dance. 

Skyz setting their pinks, purples and oranges. 

which are not apples. 

Take a bite, but don't eat the worm, 

it dwells at the bottom of a bottle. 

Hallucinations consuming the darkness, 

we see our closed eyelids. 

Tears trickle down the faces of sorrow, 

that became happiness. 

Smiles are a form of linear existence. 

mind does not abide in time. 

Space is irrelevant- to blue tigers. 

Drop another hit! 

The pendulum swings briskly, 

while I count backwards to the orders of... 

Dr. Psychiatrist. 

Colours are bright, vivid, fluorescent, 

and the Indians dance faster. 

Space spins and goes nowhere, 

time stops at a standstill. 

I can't run from the mean bad monster 

and go nowhere. 

Split the world so I can run through 

the pulsating fingers. 

Bodily twitches and night sweats. 

Av/ake I say! Awake myself. 

Colours become dim. 

I slip on the dry ice of intensity 

and my eyes snap open. 

Back in the realm of space and time 


Joanne Csillag 

The Kiss 


The girl's mother sat on the splintering wooden park bench 

a short distance away from the nearly deserted playground. 

The neighborhood park was almost totally encircled by 

graffiti stained buildings, menacing in their livid colours. She 

opened a worn and nearly tattered book she had bought 

some time ago at a Goodwill store and started, slowly, to 

read. Occasionally her tired brown eyes would dart from 

the page to scan the playground for her daughter's shock 

of red hair, and finding it among the twisted chains of the 

swings or on the battered slide, she could once again cast 

her eyes back on the page. She always carried a book. 

though rarely finished one. She was determined not to allow 

her high school reading skills to deteriorate from disuse. 

Her family had mourned the event of her dropping out of 

school when she became pregnant, as well as her wish to 

keep the child and live with the father, a boy himself who 

quickly left before his daughter was bom. Her daughter 

had his eyes, and a pain clenched her heart every time her 

little girl laughed just like the father she would never know. 

She brushed a stray lock of limp brown hair and adjusted 

her sunglasses to more adequately shield her eyes from 

the sun's brightness. She watched the sun set orange flames 

dancing in her six year-old's hair and smiled as a boy 

approached to play with her little girl. She fought down an 

urge to be overly protective and walk over to supervise 

the play. She wanted her daughter to have friends, and if 

she approached, the boy's parent might recognize the 

subject of so much neighborhood gossip. Instead she 

concentrated on the next few lines of her book, coming 

across a difficult and unfamiliar word. Like most things in 

her life she was not going to let a mere word impede her. 

Her eyes darted quickly to where her daughter and the 

boy were standing. A bright looking boy. and engaging 

compared to the petulant shyness of her daughter. They 

seemed to be talking. She returned to the word on the 

page, sounding it out softly and slowly. If she were home 

she would have consulted the dictionary she stole from 

school. Borrowed, she corrected herself. She had plans to 

return and finish high school, perhaps even take a few 

college courses, as soon as her baby was old enough. She 

looked up again and the pair had moved further away, the 

boy seemed to be trying to hug her daughter or hold on to 

her, and she was trying coyly to evade him. Her mother 

smiled. That's it. she thought to herself, keep doing that 

right through high school and you'll be fine. Or at least better 

off than me. She allowed herself the self-pitying thought. 

and returned to the difficult passage. Oh fuck the damn 

word she thought, it's probably not even important. She 

tried to read the next few lines but quickly grew tired and 

threw the book into her bag. Beyond the playground she 

heard the shrieking of gulls as they scavenged among the 
debris of half-eaten hot-dogs and popcorn. Their sound 
always ruined the peaceful quiet of hazy afternoons, and 
she blamed their shrill cawing 
as the distraction from her 
reading. She scanned the 
playground for her daughter 
so they could go home. She 
saw her girl's head and the 
■ boy's blond one bent together 
conspiratorial ly. He was 
leaning over to kiss her. 
Her mother sighed; she'll be 
dating soon, she thought. 
She saw the blood before she 
heard the screams. 
The woman's finger absent- 
mindedly caressed the scar on her cheek. She'd been told 
that it looked like a sunburst or a star exploding. She wasn't 
sure. She had always avoided mirrors and blotted out the 
memory of fleeting reflections in glass and windows. She 
knew what it felt like, though, knew it quite well. Smooth 
and textureless, skin stretched taunt from grafting surgeries, 
attempts to correct that only made it worse. She felt it. 
like a hole that had been punched into her cheek and v^ 
tearing at the edges, spreading and cracking her face, the Continued on the next page . 

Hit-and-Run over by the train of thought 
To Jaime Bell & Paul Beidler for support 

902 1 OH MY GOD: 

Show me someone who's not stoned in this city and I'll show you some- 
one who's delirious on TV. Our generations' imaginations are like a deer in head- 
lights: future roadKill-Kill. Ameri-K-K-K-a, K-mart commercials . . . Purgatory. 
Waiting to break into heaven with a joint or MTV 

Stories of giris with broken hearts and broken dreams by broken men 
with broken screams, nervous shaking eyes searching for the place in mind where 
there are no more broken promises. 

I'm blind in the dark, feelings rambling around like footsteps of silent 
streets. The wind is razor-sharp, moving faster than epileptic hyenas laughing at 
me, laughing at me. 

Minds lost like tears without faces. 

I know a place exists somewhere, filed beside the echoed memories of 
my playground days. Days 1 was blind to the horizon of pure hues and prozac 
blues. All my feelings were a single plane; I was a perma-smile in the sun. 

Now there are only jigsaw puzzled expressions when I'm biting nails until 
I taste the blood in linear algebra. No names. No faces. Only student numbers. 
1 am 976BiteMe. Everyone else is just a Wing or a Wang yanking on my ying-yang. 


I hope. 

I feel. 

I know that somewhere outside the static curtains people are naked in 
candy-coated kisses. Somewhere, where butterflies play hop-scotch, where their 
shadows jump and run by the puppet strings of the summer sun. 

( just need to give a shit. I just need to give oily-rainbow shits. 1 just need 
to give nasal straining, anus flap fainting, global-warming supporting, petroleum 
by-product farts. Big. fat. and juicy, like a Size Queen dream. 

Oh Sweet Jesus, I've been hit-and-run over by the train of thought. 
Oh Sweet Jesus. I no longer hold on to the hour hands of clocks. 
Oh Sweet Jesus, I just don't want to die crying in the laughing rafn. 
Oh Sweet Jesus. 
Sweet Jesus. 

Brian Kim 01/98 

mercy of her mother's poverty ended the operations when she was fourteen. But 
the damage was irreparable and went deeper than her skin. 
She saw the cab driver's eyes dart nervously to the rear-view mirror to watch her 
caress the scar. Those kinds of glances were familiar to her. and over the years she 
tried to ignore them. Her heart used to break every time she heard someone 
whisper "she would be so pretty if it weren't for that. . ." 




Her first lover was named Mark. She met him 
in the bowels of some dark nightclub whose 
name she had forgotten but treasured the taste 
of its liquor. She used to drink herself into non- 
existence there, drowning down the stares and 
the looks of mothers who pulled their children 
closer to their bodies whenever she passed. 
Wiih every drink, she felt her blood congeal and 
her heart harden into a dry black scab. Mark 
was the first too drunk or too stupid to ask her 
how. In her slurred and bitter rasp she had given 
him an answer viscous with hatred and self- pity: 
"It was my first kiss." He took her home that 
night, and almost every night after that, and 
fucked her back into vulnerable existence. She began to save money, her drinking 
and drug habits curtailed, and she worked odd jobs and even odder tricks to make 
up the remainder. She began to whisper of surgery, when the midnight light was 
bright and the world seemed whole for a few hours. He never responded, but 
would grunt, roll over and fall into a satisfied sleep with his fist buried in her deep 
bed of red hair. 

But today, in an alcoholic haze that loosened his tongue and made him more truthful 

February 1998 • The Innis Herald • Page 15 

the back oaqe 


Shiny and Happy 


Woo-hoo! It's the Age of Aquarius, so get funky! Go skinny-dipping, but not in 
freezing cold water, because you will get hypothermia (note: Titanic!) The 
days are so bright, they're blinding! Don't be too lax about your school-work 
— only hard work will pay off in the end. 

PISCES (FEB. 19 -MAR. 20) 

Get your creative juices flowing, in more ways than one, if you catch our drift! 
Indulge your poetic side during this season of love, and don't be afraid to get 
drunk in the limpid pools of your lover's eyes! Before you do that, grab a barf 
bag, because you might hurl at the sappiness of this month ( or you just might 
revel in it!) 

ARIES (MAR. 20 - APR. 19) 

Clip clop... don't go running up to the mountain this month, or you might get 
devoured by a big bad wolf (didn't you ever read that French story about the 
poor little Chevre? NO, you, don't know what we're talking about?) All you 
need to know is that you're a ROCK STAR, like James Brown, and lucky you 
— everyone knows it. You're the centre of attention, for once. 

TAURUS (APR. 20 ■ MAY 21) 

Why are you so stubborn? Give into that lusty Virgo, before their libido with- 
ers away. Pamper your love with some good ole Valentine's crap — abundant 
chocolate and flowers will do the trick. Take your friend's assistance willingly 
— while it's being offered, you would be stupid to refuse it. 


Let your fantasies go wild this month. Since you have two personas, you can 
have twice as much fun (as long as you're discreet). Go for the gold this month, 
and you won't be disappointed! Make sure you make brownies for all of your 
favourite friends... the favour will be returned, yeah baby! 

LEO0ULY23-AUG. 22) 

Let your fiery passions overflow — 'tis the season to go into overdrive. Don't 
be too skimpy with your Valentine's purchases — you can never have enough 
edible underwear! Jump out of the sheets to improve your marks — you don't 
want to totally flunk out of school. While you may be A -H- in the love de- 
partment, you're not so hot in the Aboriginal Studies department. 

VIRGO (AUG 23 -SEPT 22) 

You're going to score with Cupid this month, and you can slough off that puri- 
tan persona. Did we tell you to lay off the sauce last month? Good thing we 
didn't, because you needed some good drunken stupors to get you back in the 
mood, that is, the mood for love. Enjoy slacker week this month — you de- 
serve it (although you have been slacking this whole year), 

LIBRA ( SEPT 23 - OCT 22) 

Step off those scales this month, and indulge in some Valentine's goodies. This 
is the month to get your ears pierced, or to get a tattoo, even it is one of those 
cheap lick-on ones. Remember to love your neighbour this month — just 
don'tgo snooping through their mail. They really didn't win one billion dollars 
— it's just a ploy. 

SCORPIO (OCT 23 - NOV 22) 

Whoever you sting this month will be yours — you have Cupid's permission. 
Your mysterious aura is definitely in Venus' sector, so anything you do will set 
your love a- flame. All of your good deeds have paid off — now you can buy an 
Outreach to help the homeless. Be a homebody, not a peabody. 



You have been a temptress/tempter for too long. Bad. bad, bad - for shame! 
But it's been fun, hasn't it? Now it's time to see if you can aim your arrow at 
only one person. Letyour animal instincts take over — grmrr. If you're lucky, 
someone will send you some chocolates, or some pretty roses. Your hard 
work is paying off, so enjoy Slacker week in a hot place (yeah baby!). 


This is just the month for a sensitive and sentimental crab like you. Stop eating 
all of the chocolates, though, because then all of your teeth will fall out. No 
one v/ants a toothless kiss! (Except for that prof you need to suck up to — 
start brown-nosing now. so you can pull your grades up sufficiently by the end 
of the term.) 


Your Valentine's Day will be extra hot and spicy this month, so be armed with 
your arsenal (you know the works!) Try out some of that scented massage oil. 
Your ambition is overpowering everyone — lay off the sauce sauce sauce(sorry 
for being redundant, or maybe we should lay off it ourselves!) 


The Kiss .... Continued from previous page 

than he knew how to be, he forbade it. "If I want to fuck a perfect woman, I can and I do. But I ain't 
never had me a scar before," he had said. Then he licked her cheek and passed out on top of her. 
Silence crept into her mind and the taste of congealed blood rose in her throat. After several moments 
she rolled him over so that he lay face up, She prayed he would vomit and drown. She dressed quickly. 
She did not bother to take her things. She realized they were not hers. Half empty bottles of liquid 
make-up. scratched compacts of pressed powder and tubes of pink congealing paste lay like fractured 
promises and the unheard prayers of the desperate, They seemed unfamiliar to her in that moment, 
as though she had walked into another woman's life. She grabbed her jacket, bad Mark's wallet and 
left, closing the door behind her with a soft click. 
As she walked out onto the garishly lit street, she caught 
a glimpse of herself in a dirty store window and paused. 
The jagged circle of puckered skin on her right cheek 
pulsed gently, its six delicate tendrils reaching and 
contracting in thrumming waves. For the Orst cime she 
noticed how her scar and her heart beat in unison. She 
hailed a cab, tucking her bed-tangled hair behind her ear 
and away from her cheek. 

So she sat silently in a cab in the middle of the night's last 
rush, gingerly outlining the curves of her star. In the rear 
- view mirror she saw the cabby's nervous glances. She 
stared in the mirror; her face, his eyes and the dingy 
interior of the cab caught and trapped together in the 
glass all at once. Her green eyes looked darker, like the 
verdant dankness of a rainforest just before a storm. Her 
hair coiled in slithering shapes she did not bother to 
subdue. She caught the driver's eyes in the mirror and 
smiled. The effect was quite satisfying. It was the same 
smite she used to give her mother when she was young, 
she had once overheard the doctor say thai she had 
retained muscle and nerve damage, that the delicate 
muscle and nerve endings had been severed making some 
facial expressions awkward. When she smiled, even in 

rare good humour, only one side of her face rose and Pen and Ink by Richard Yee 
one eye squinted slightly. Her child's smile looked like a 
cynical and cruel smirk that brought her mother to tears. But as the years passed, her mother would 
become enraged at that smile, unsure if the cruelty in her daughter's face was the accident of damaged 
tissue or entirely genuine. Her daughter soon learned not to smile. Except today; today she felt like 
smiling. The cab driver pushed his foot further into the accelerator as he moved through traffic, 
desperate to get the woman in the back seat to her destination quickly. 

When they reached the house she pulled a twenty from Mark's wallet and reached fonvard to give it 
to the driver. He motioned to the empty seat beside him, as though to tell her to just drop the bill 
there. He seemed reluctant to risk touching her fingers. "Keep the change," she hissed and slid out of 
the car. It sped off in a cloud of dust and exhaust as soon as she had slammed the car door shut. The 
house vras as she had always imagined. Gleaming aluminum siding and expertly painted wooden details. 
A basketball net hung on the garage above a German-made car. The walkway was dean and even, not 
a single crack in the stone pavement. Flowers and shubbery outlined a front yard littered here and 
there with a tricycle, a red wagon and blue plastic pail and yellow shovel. It was nearly evening and the 
light was beginning to die in the sky, casting pink and purple shadows, like bruises, over everything. 

She imagined families sitting down to dinner, starched 
white tablecloth and sharp-cornered napkins. She walked 
to the front door and rang the doorbell long with a stabbing 
finger, feeling the sound reverberate throughout the house. 
She waited for whatseemed like long moments. Moments 
summed in hospitals in lonely rooms, or sheltered in briefly 
abandoned classrooms. Moments locked in stained 
porcelain bathrooms with rusty razors poised over tender 
teenaged wnsts. Moments in stinking alleyways waiting 
for the weak solution of liquid death to run its course 
through her veins. Moments erased and reformed in the 
blink of an eye as she stood staring at the sharp whiteness 
of the front door. 

It opens. . , upon a handsome face, mid-thirties, dirty- 
blond hair just beginning to ashen, calm blue eyes in the 
light of the setting sun. and then he smiles with teeth painful 
in their brilliance, their perfection. "Yes?" he asks and she 
steps into the pool of light from the open doorway, her 
smile a ragged slash across her otherwise lovely features 
and her green eyes glinting in the clean white light. He 
thinks, she would be so pretty if not for that ... and he 
takes a step back. She takes several more steps toward 
him as the years fade and a moment reforms in his perfect 
blue eyes. "You may not remember me," she says evenly 
though her heart and cheek are pulsing, "but I have 
something to give back to you. Something you always wanted." She takes a final step toward him, 
running a dry tongue along the square, flat, slicing edges of her front teeth. 

Christina de Nelo 

Page 16 • The Innis Herald • February 1998